Originally posted by troubled_ranger:
.... (edited cause too long)
also many guys like her. they all try ways and means to get to know her etc. some even ask her to give them a chance but she strictly says no to them. but the other party still contacts her... i feel so irritated at times despite the fact that i trust my gf WHOLEHEARTEDLY. she tells me everything tat goes on, like who is going after her, who she is with, where she's going etc. we talk about everything under the sun. and i really appreciate that. her family likes me alot and so does mine. we are saving up to get married in a few years time. by the way we are of different race. she proudly introduces me to her frenz and sometimes her frenz get stunned when they realise that my gal has a bf of another race.
at times i feel that my gal deserves someone beta than me as she is really very pretty unlike me. i'm a simple man with a simple life. yet she rejects engineers etc of the same race just to suffer with me.
for example, just yesterday, i met one of her frenz. she intro-ed me as her bf and the guy and me just shook hands and introduced ourselves. the guy was like very happy to be intro-ed to me. after shaking hands and introing ourselves, he left us alone while he went to dance with his frenz. later when we got home my gf n me, he msg-ed my gf saying that she's very pretty and that does he stand a chance to go after my gal. my gal showed me the msg and replied with a 'no' to him. but still i feel so like 'irritated.' the guy could actually act so nicely in front of me and then do such things behind my back. and i guess he must be thinking that my gal is just playing with me as i'm very 'different' from her? when i read that msg, i felt so 'hot' .. dunno why but i get jealous very easily..haha.. even my gf gets jealous when indian or chinese gals start to become close to me. but she dun get jealous as easily as i do lo..haha..
i just want answers to these qns:
1. do gals like to be showered with love? in that case, why is mine so different?
2. and about me getting jealous easily, is it good? if it's not good, how to curb my jealousy? i find it very difficult.
my story above might be confusing for some of u all as i myself am confused as i'm writing this. i realise that i'm asking stupid questions but nvertheless this is a forum and i'd just like honest opinions from those giving genuine advises.
For a moment, I thought you are someone I might know. If I guess correctly, my phone is always open to you. Don't bother asking who I am, by this nick, if you know, you should know. If not, definitely wrong number liao.
Clue to the above claim: If your gf is Aries.
***
Your relationship has hidden and obvious issue you have to work through - it basically needs clarification, understanding, empathy, strength and lastly structure, to ensure growth and stability of your love.
Understand one thing - everyone is different in their own ways. Your girl is not the usual kind of woman you are dating - infact, roles have changed. She upholding mascline energy of the relationship, while you supporting the feminine energy. She is cool in her behavior, dislike emotional talk and is secured with preception of trust in relationship - You are the direct opposite.
Jealousy slips in heavily because they are gaps within your insecurity.
Lesson one: Learn to see her as
herself and NOT as a woman. The dynamic of her personality is different and this leaves much room for exploration. She is like a block of ice - she says she is 'like that want' because previous relationship did not break up this rigid emotional ice block she has constructed and crystalized over the years.
Psychologically, it could be her early childhood and environment that influence her.
Your job in lesson one is to keep knowing her better as a girfriend (No, you don't know her very well still) and to soften her up. Chip and break up the block of ice into cubes so that it is easier to handle. She can't be like what you are - possible clingy and emotionally dependant. You must realise that your relationship must evolve and mould her better and being better is
BASED on her own personality and
NOT your preception of what it should be.
***
Different race relationship has their own unique form of problem. Once passed the parent's stage - next come the competitors.
You can't stop people from liking or chasing your girl - you are only defend your relationship with power of love. Embrace this theory and you will secure high trust in your relationship.
What's with competitors? Humans, especially guys, are like that. Once relationship doesn't fall under the traditional version (Racial relationship, Long Distance relationship, Older woman, younger guy relationship, etc) - they sees it as a weakness that could slip in easily - failed to realise that this weakness could be strength of the couple because if both party wants it to work out - twice the effort is being put in as the relationship is being faced with constant threat.
Love grows stronger with emotional strength and challenge.
Grow irritated and everything else is natural. Your gf has nothing to hide, nothing to keep - she is the kind of woman who is open and live to her emotional conscience. From here, you can see that she is able to secure the kind of trust and stability because she
BELIEVE in the relationship.
See how confidence she is when she told you that even though she would bleed when you leave (if that was your choice), she would let you go?
External factor will try to ruin and destroy you - but how will you shield yourself? So what if the guy msg your gf and say if he has a chance and all the crap? Why get angry over how hypocrite you think he is when he cannot make it? You can't stop external factor - you can only believe in your love and work to make it invulnerable.
This relationship is of medium to high intensity. Your next lesson would be to evolve yourself. Learn to see correct positive value in you because she has saw the good out from you apart from the lamer engineers, etc. Treasure yourself and always fight a self esteem battle to surpress all negative look-down-on-yourself thoughts.
If you have fallen, who will fight for the relationship?
Cheers
