Need help
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hi guys,
need help interpretating a sms...
I just told a gal i like via SMS that i like her and would like to have a serious relationship wif her. We went out on dates for 4 times.
This is her reply
from your expert opinion, do you think she is not interested in me and is telling to "don't bother" going after me... or she really think we should know each other better first?
it'll be good if we can get to know each other better. than we see how we can progress form there. Do you think so?
thanks![/quote] -
If it's not rejection, it's not rejection. -
gals are usually not so direct, be it a rejection or acceptance.
but since she says to noe each other more, den do as she says lor.
btw, how long haf the 2 of u been together? -
sounds to me that she wanna get to know u more so that she can trust u in a relationship i think
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cannot hurry into things la...she wants more time to know each other better. anyway, that's the right way..
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She's telling you to slow down. Relationships are built upon time, not a 5cents SMS.
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wow thats fast! thks for all the advice
! I'm not very experience in this area, and its kindof insensitive or "hints-dead", well arent all guys lik tat ?? hehe
well we've known of each other existence for about almost a year, however been only started talking to each other about 5 months, went out on dates for about 4 times.Originally posted by wuming78:gals are usually not so direct, be it a rejection or acceptance.
but since she says to noe each other more, den do as she says lor.
btw, how long haf the 2 of u been together?
Shes kind of busy, thats y i seldom ask her out.. wish her workload can reduce so can see her more often.
btw im 27 liao and she is 3 years my junior and im really serious about her and the relationship -
u r not alone in not understanding the explicit and implicit messages from gals.Originally posted by relationshipnewbie:wow thats fast! thks for all the advice! I'm not very experience in this area, and its kindof insensitive or "hints-dead", well arent all guys lik tat ?? hehe
well we've known of each other existence for about almost a year, however been only started talking to each other about 5 months, went out on dates for about 4 times.
Shes kind of busy, thats y i seldom ask her out.. wish her workload can reduce so can see her more often.
btw im 27 liao and she is 3 years my junior and im really serious about her and the relationship
sometimes dont we wish they could just say things directly?
anyway from the sounds of it, she needs more time. so take it slow lor. 5 months and 4 dates may seem abit inadequate. anyway i hope u r supplementing these wif perhaps emails, calls, etc. but dont forget - over eagerness may drive someone away. give urself some time to get to noe her too. -
umm yea.. the nxt time u go on a date wif her, tell her to her face dat u like her.. n see what she says.
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she not yet fallen for u, but shes giving u a chance to make her xin dong so work hard n proof u r worth it... gd luck...
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agree and disagree... by sms-ing u miss out on the nonverbal cues that come together with the response, and these in fact may tell u more than the content of the message.Originally posted by -=-[l]eonard-=-:umm yea.. the nxt time u go on a date wif her, tell her to her face dat u like her.. n see what she says.
disagree cos it may embarrass her and this may backfire.
i guess the approach is dependent on the person - depending on how much u noe her, u should choose the appropriate one, and approach the issue delicately. -
wat are u guys on about? u can hardly tell jack sh!t from a plain text msg from someone u do not know the personality of at all!
other than taking it's literal meaning, which is to me "no i don't want to be in a serious relationship with you as you have requested, but i'm cool with getting to know each other better."
i'll need to know her personality b4 i can read between the lines. don't assume all women can be classified as those don't say wat they mean kind. even if ALL women do not say wat the mean, when they say something it can mean alot of things, no point guessing if u dunno the woman AT ALL.. which we don't.
btw.. who the hell asks for a woman's hand thru sms? man.. is this wat sg has degraded into, an sms city? i feel sad for this nation's youth. -
actually i've thot of the methods, asking here face to face vs over phone or over sms.Originally posted by jOhO:wat are u guys on about? u can hardly tell jack sh!t from a plain text msg from someone u do not know the personality of at all!
other than taking it's literal meaning, which is to me "no i don't want to be in a serious relationship with you as you have requested, but i'm cool with getting to know each other better."
i'll need to know her personality b4 i can read between the lines. don't assume all women can be classified as those don't say wat they mean kind. even if ALL women do not say wat the mean, when they say something it can mean alot of things, no point guessing if u dunno the woman AT ALL.. which we don't.
btw.. who the hell asks for a woman's hand thru sms? man.. is this wat sg has degraded into, an sms city? i feel sad for this nation's youth.
i choose sms becoz i dont want make it into an awkward situation for her.. well thats what i think.
for me, my character i think i'm the shy type, most of the time, i have difficulties expressing myself.
actually my in my sms to her, the question, i did not ask her to give me an answer, i just express my feelings to her ... -
hey dun get me wrong, everyone has their way of doing things.Originally posted by relationshipnewbie:actually i've thot of the methods, asking here face to face vs over phone or over sms.
i choose sms becoz i dont want make it into an awkward situation for her.. well thats what i think.
for me, my character i think i'm the shy type, most of the time, i have difficulties expressing myself.
actually my in my sms to her, the question, i did not ask her to give me an answer, i just express my feelings to her ...
it's just that i'm i guess appalled at the fact that singaporean youth have resorted to sms and online to communicate.
to ME, it can be so impersonal, and easily misunderstood. to you, it's less awkward and u're probably able to express urself better without the nervousness.
i wonder if we can make love without being physically together in future? just sms "c:\makelove.exe -blond -Ccup -Beyes" and send to 1800-make-love"
sorree for speaking this way, but seriously, some things CANNOT be replaced by technology. and no i'm not an old fogey of 50 yrs old. i'm still in my twenties, even tho LATE twenties..
anyway back to ur original problem, just lay low and be friends then. take her reply at face value, i mean anyway i dunno her well enuff to know if there could be "between the lines" meaning.
and one thing i've realised even recently. life doesn't stop when u're chasing someone, when u're in love, when u're healing from a broken reln. sometimes reln things can bog u down so much u forget the REST of ur life which could be more impt, say, studies?
i've been knocked back countless times, and while at first i get really affected, in the end i just do wat i usually do, and NOTHING's changed, i still "chase" but all of a sudden i feel better, becos i will continue to live my life the way i am used to, and not place that much worry and stress on something which, well, honestly speaking, she's not even my gf or watever, she's just a "target" (for want of a better word, believe me!) so why should i bother so much?
man.. if my baby saw this post i think she'd have a word with me.. -
Hi, yeah, actually i agree with you, of course face to face with always be my first choice!Originally posted by jOhO:hey dun get me wrong, everyone has their way of doing things.
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I'll keep watever you've said in my mind, thks!
You're in the IT line? Dun think none IT ppl knows much about command line parameters passing hee -
me oso have a question...
talkin to ger via sms...askin how was her exam....
then she replied " dunno but there is anyone in the way"
how u guys understand this.... -
i think either she made some typos or her english needs improving.Originally posted by thomas_the_devils:me oso have a question...
talkin to ger via sms...askin how was her exam....
then she replied " dunno but there is anyone in the way"
how u guys understand this....
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i sent a similar sms a few weeks back
from my point of view, it's not a no. it's not a yes either, but the other party is fond of you (that's why it wasn't a no)
however, the current situation is moving too fast and honestly 4 dates is not enuff. tell me ..... do you even know her fav. food? how many members in her family? her surname?
she may be fond of you, but she needs time to decide whether she's ready to start things off with you. rushing things may cause hurt in the future
i'm not sure if this is relevant, cause i'm a guy and the one who sent it to you is a gal -
Like most others have already suggested... It's probably the latter...Originally posted by relationshipnewbie:hi guys,
need help interpretating a sms...
I just told a gal i like via SMS that i like her and would like to have a serious relationship wif her. We went out on dates for 4 times.
This is her reply -
congrats..
u`ve won half the battle...
the rest is up to u to make things happen nopw.. -
congrats..
u`ve won half the battle...
the rest is up to u to make things happen nopw.. -
Originally posted by relationshipnewbie:hi guys,
need help interpretating a sms...
I just told a gal i like via SMS that i like her and would like to have a serious relationship wif her. We went out on dates for 4 times.
This is her reply This is not a rejection - she don't feel enough to be able to enter into a relationship with you. You can breathe and take things at your own pace right now.
The last thing you ought to do is to read it as rejection and avoid her.
P.S: She is giving you chance to know her and make her fall in love with you. Do it well.
Cheers -
THANKS EVERYONE!
I'll definitely put in effort, in fact just chatted with her in the afternoon, seems normal, we didnt walk abt the SMS though hehe. In fact i was relived tat we didnt tok abt it, i was quite embarass actually...
eutjin actually i do know her surname, how many family members, favourite food, etc.
I might not be sensitive, confident, a lady's guy, etc. but im quite observant hee