was i in the wrong??
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it happened last nite....feeling so down now
well, to start with, my bf had a group of friends, from wat my bf says..this group of friends like to visit prostitues & go to ktv to ask for 'girls'...so naturally, i had a very bad impression of them...so last nite, my bf says he wanted to go clubbing with them...(my bf had seldom goes clubbing) but he said last nite, one of these friends had a r/s prob..so need advice....initially, i feel it's ok, but after a while, i felt uneasy...then, i called him, he din pick up the phone...aft calling a few times, he then picked up...i feel a bit angry when he picked up the phone..i told him to come & meet me instead...ok, in the past, he dun allow me to go clubbing, and now, my friends seldom call me to go out... then now he goes clubbing instead?! (he had went clubbing with this group of friends a couple of times liao)
now, he said that i was being too unreasonable for kicking a big fuss when he goes clubbing with his friends...but wasn't he who restricts me first?! Also, i really had a very bad impression of this group of friends, i guess they didn't have a good impression of me too, for being too possessive of my bf...I am feeling so down now...I've tried to talk to my bf why i felt uneasy, but he still finds me unreasonable..was i in the wrong?? -
nothing wrong with you. some people are just unreasonable.
I am a male but heard my friends some of the female said that most guys are like that. As for me i dont know leh.. my ex last time she want to go anywhere i let her go, its better to be fair. Well, nothing wrongs with you.
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Hmm...since both of you liked clubbing, why not both of you go clubbing together instead? Maybe you can join your bf for clubbing and he can join you for clubbing instead? I don't go clubbing so I do not know how this thing works.
I guess you are probably also worried that your bf might turn to those w.h.o.r.e or ktv gals or health centre gals. Hmm...it depends on how well you know him, is he that type of person who might go to those places? Or is he able to say 'no' to his friends when they try to apply some peer pressure upon him. Some points to take note would be when he starts to refuse getting intimate with you.
I think you should have a talk with him. Hmm...don't know your bf anyway, but I hope he doesn't reacts violently when you try to have a talk with him about it. So...I would suggest you to try to tell him your concerns for him on a good day. Best is...probably after meals...or after....an intimate session with him.
Aiyah...paisei lah. You know when is the correct time to talk to him lah...when he is in good mood.
Hmm...also hide your anger/displeasure from him...watch the tone of your voice. It is going to be difficult...but...guys are all egoistic creatures. Some guys like the hard approach, and some prefers the soft approach. So I would suggest a soft approach for your case...as I think it will have the minimum damage or no damage to your relationship with your bf.
Oh yah...you are not in the wrong. And neither is he. From his perspective, he sees you as possessive and all he wanted was to be able to spend some time with his friends without any fear of them saying that he is afraid of his gf. But from your perspective, you worried that he might go do some monkey-business behind your back with his friends. So...I'm sure you people should be able to solve this. You might consider joining your bf for clubbing and know a bit more about his friends first before you start to dislike them. And also let him know that you feel neglected and will miss him whenever he goes clubbing with his friends. Probably you can also start to hang out with your friends instead.
Good luck...I hope things will work out fine between you and your bf.
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Thanks for the adviceOriginally posted by parn:Hmm...since both of you liked clubbing, why not both of you go clubbing together instead? Maybe you can join your bf for clubbing and he can join you for clubbing instead? I don't go clubbing so I do not know how this thing works.
I guess you are probably also worried that your bf might turn to those w.h.o.r.e or ktv gals or health centre gals. Hmm...it depends on how well you know him, is he that type of person who might go to those places? Or is he able to say 'no' to his friends when they try to apply some peer pressure upon him. Some points to take note would be when he starts to refuse getting intimate with you.
I think you should have a talk with him. Hmm...don't know your bf anyway, but I hope he doesn't reacts violently when you try to have a talk with him about it. So...I would suggest you to try to tell him your concerns for him on a good day. Best is...probably after meals...or after....an intimate session with him. Aiyah...paisei lah. You know when is the correct time to talk to him lah...when he is in good mood.
Hmm...also hide your anger/displeasure from him...watch the tone of your voice. It is going to be difficult...but...guys are all egoistic creatures. Some guys like the hard approach, and some prefers the soft approach. So I would suggest a soft approach for your case...as I think it will have the minimum damage or no damage to your relationship with your bf.
Oh yah...you are not in the wrong. And neither is he. From his perspective, he sees you as possessive and all he wanted was to be able to spend some time with his friends without any fear of them saying that he is afraid of his gf. But from your perspective, you worried that he might go do some monkey-business behind your back with his friends. So...I'm sure you people should be able to solve this. You might consider joining your bf for clubbing and know a bit more about his friends first before you start to dislike them. And also let him know that you feel neglected and will miss him whenever he goes clubbing with his friends. Probably you can also start to hang out with your friends instead.
Good luck...I hope things will work out fine between you and your bf.
Had met his friends b4...dun really like them, so dun wanna join them for clubbing loh...
I had talked to him more than once liao, but in the end he still summarizes that i'm just too unreasonable
He always said that he's not the kind who fools around, but err..u know lah, some people are easily being influenced, esp when each and everyone is 'these' kind... -
Think it is time you pick up your phone and start gathering your Super Best Friends aka your jie mei men.
Go and have some fun with them lor...if not it would be so sad for you to stay at home and bored yourselves out.
Go shop...shop, shop and have fun!
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Originally posted by *genie*:it happened last nite....feeling so down now
well, to start with, my bf had a group of friends, from wat my bf says..this group of friends like to visit prostitues & go to ktv to ask for 'girls'...so naturally, i had a very bad impression of them...so last nite, my bf says he wanted to go clubbing with them...(my bf had seldom goes clubbing) but he said last nite, one of these friends had a r/s prob..so need advice....initially, i feel it's ok, but after a while, i felt uneasy...then, i called him, he din pick up the phone...aft calling a few times, he then picked up...i feel a bit angry when he picked up the phone..i told him to come & meet me instead...ok, in the past, he dun allow me to go clubbing, and now, my friends seldom call me to go out... then now he goes clubbing instead?! (he had went clubbing with this group of friends a couple of times liao)
now, he said that i was being too unreasonable for kicking a big fuss when he goes clubbing with his friends...but wasn't he who restricts me first?! Also, i really had a very bad impression of this group of friends, i guess they didn't have a good impression of me too, for being too possessive of my bf...I am feeling so down now...I've tried to talk to my bf why i felt uneasy, but he still finds me unreasonable..was i in the wrong?? 
Ironically, the one who practice restriction, often end up doing the thingy he once restrict the other party to do. If you have strong scorpio-mars tendency, you would club with your gal pals and ignore his phone calls the same way he did to you. That could be a short term solution to your problem, however, it will bring a series of argument as well and may fracture your relationship badly.
Actually the reason why he finds you unreasonable is because he may not actually have done anything wrong in his conscience, while clubbing, and your unhappiness and method of expression is perceived as distrust. Therefore this annoyance will grow and he finds you unreasonable.
Right now, you can probably only do two thing: to trust him or follow along whenever he is with them. Observe his behavior and detect any slight changes with regards to his character to you and the relationship. You have already made known about your displease with this bunch of friends - cease trashing temporary and give a period of three months to monitor.
P.S: If your bf is weak-willed, he would likely to be subjected to peer influence. This will create re-shape his mindset on love and relationship as well. Do update about your situations.
Cheers