Able to Withstand test of time?
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Technology was their match-maker. In college days, she already noticed him because he once said that his hamster died and he teared to mourn it. She felt he was so full of luv, so caring, even towards a small little animal. She was touched, she consoled him. 2 years later, she was studyin overseas, he was in ns. Again they communicated thru technology every single night.
Perhaps it was the inital loneliness in a foreign country that made her come online every night. But he was online too, to company her, play games with her, chat with her, and to make her happy. Soon, their companionship and teasing grew into thinkin more and more about each other, missing each other. They got together, a long distance rlnship and spending a month physically together every 6 mths.
After ns, he was busy with his studies but he still kept his promise of companying and chatting with her every night. When she went back to sg during her hols, they went out together almost evry day.
He was not rich, his mum is puttin all her hopes on him for a better future, so he has to do well in his studies. She just want to be with him. She pays for him most of the time when they are out but she doesnt mind. $$$ is secondary to her. He just wants her to be happy.
Like every household has its own rules, every relationship has its own problems. She wanted him to come visit her overseas because she is graduating and going home. HE said he will try to work to raise the $ for airtix. She thought he wasnt interested in coming because he was not enthusiastic in finding a job. He wanted to work only if his friend was working with him, and said that he couldnt find a job at all in a period of 5-6 weeks. She was mad at him for quite awhile.
On seperate occasion, HE said that his circle of friends are strinking because he spents most of his awaken time with her.
She used to throw her tantrum on him.
She said his driving skills sucks, draggin the gear, lousy clutch control. He just kept quiet, did not want to argue with her.
She said he was always late on dates. He said the bus was crowded and the mrt she took was always punctual.
She said all other bfs go to gfs house to pick them up before goin out and bfs always call their gfs at home. He said the other bfs are too free, and still doesnt call her unless necessary.
Yet he despite being cool, calm, logical, practical he showed her what was love about. He saved up to bring her to a posh restaurant for their 1st V-day. He surprised her with a parcel on her b-day when she's overseas. He bought toys from a blind man and gave them to her. He cancelled some of his soccer games and rejected his buddies to be with her. She was the 1st gal he bought home to let his mum see. Whenever she threw tantrums, he let her let off, wait for her too cool down and explained logically to her. He just wanted her to be happy.
Now, they are offically not together. He said that he would not have enough time for her everyday. She said it was better because there was no commitment and he should not feel guilty of not spending time with her.
She somehow is still waitin for him to be online to chat with him almost every nite. She tries her best to be happy, because she knows that what he always wanted her to be.
She thought about being his wife but he said he wasnt sure if he could live with her tantrums.
She said, 'the longest distance in the world is not when u'r beside me but dun know that i luv u. Its when both still luv each other but cant be 2gether..somehow...'
He said 'Sometimes u have to give up what u want the most.'
What do you think about this situation? Is there a possiblity that down the road they will be together again? Should she wait for him?What wil the future be? -
He come across as a mature & responsible man. Perhaps things may improve when his own situation get better, ie he complete his study & find a job..
But alas, things are uncertain & i'm afraid that the girl may get more disappointed if things do not turn out well.
Sorry for unable to help much. i'm much a failure myself at relationship.
But i sincerely wish u well.
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She said, 'the longest distance in the world is not when u'r beside me but dun know that i luv u. Its when both still luv each other but cant be 2gether..somehow...'
He said 'Sometimes u have to give up what u want the most.'
Very touching... -
wait bah, he calm down den see see lor. join the waiting club lady.
there is always a better tomorrow for people with patience. -
a friend of mine once told me that what is constant in this world of uncertainty is uncertainty. i know not much about interpersonal relationships for i have a perception that they equate to emotional attachment. both 'he' and 'she' have come this far, do not withdraw without putting up a good fight.
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she thanks all for the encouragement.
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Originally posted by lonely_paws:Technology was their match-maker. In college days, she already noticed him because he once said that his hamster died and he teared to mourn it. She felt he was so full of luv, so caring, even towards a small little animal. She was touched, she consoled him. 2 years later, she was studyin overseas, he was in ns. Again they communicated thru technology every single night.
Perhaps it was the inital loneliness in a foreign country that made her come online every night. But he was online too, to company her, play games with her, chat with her, and to make her happy. Soon, their companionship and teasing grew into thinkin more and more about each other, missing each other. They got together, a long distance rlnship and spending a month physically together every 6 mths.
After ns, he was busy with his studies but he still kept his promise of companying and chatting with her every night. When she went back to sg during her hols, they went out together almost evry day.
He was not rich, his mum is puttin all her hopes on him for a better future, so he has to do well in his studies. She just want to be with him. She pays for him most of the time when they are out but she doesnt mind. $$$ is secondary to her. He just wants her to be happy.
Like every household has its own rules, every relationship has its own problems. She wanted him to come visit her overseas because she is graduating and going home. HE said he will try to work to raise the $ for airtix. She thought he wasnt interested in coming because he was not enthusiastic in finding a job. He wanted to work only if his friend was working with him, and said that he couldnt find a job at all in a period of 5-6 weeks. She was mad at him for quite awhile.
On seperate occasion, HE said that his circle of friends are strinking because he spents most of his awaken time with her.
She used to throw her tantrum on him.
She said his driving skills sucks, draggin the gear, lousy clutch control. He just kept quiet, did not want to argue with her.
She said he was always late on dates. He said the bus was crowded and the mrt she took was always punctual.
She said all other bfs go to gfs house to pick them up before goin out and bfs always call their gfs at home. He said the other bfs are too free, and still doesnt call her unless necessary.
Yet he despite being cool, calm, logical, practical he showed her what was love about. He saved up to bring her to a posh restaurant for their 1st V-day. He surprised her with a parcel on her b-day when she's overseas. He bought toys from a blind man and gave them to her. He cancelled some of his soccer games and rejected his buddies to be with her. She was the 1st gal he bought home to let his mum see. Whenever she threw tantrums, he let her let off, wait for her too cool down and explained logically to her. He just wanted her to be happy.
Now, they are offically not together. He said that he would not have enough time for her everyday. She said it was better because there was no commitment and he should not feel guilty of not spending time with her.
She somehow is still waitin for him to be online to chat with him almost every nite. She tries her best to be happy, because she knows that what he always wanted her to be.
She thought about being his wife but he said he wasnt sure if he could live with her tantrums.
She said, 'the longest distance in the world is not when u'r beside me but dun know that i luv u. Its when both still luv each other but cant be 2gether..somehow...'
He said 'Sometimes u have to give up what u want the most.'
What do you think about this situation? Is there a possiblity that down the road they will be together again? Should she wait for him?What wil the future be?
Road of a LDR is difficult and twice the effort is needed to substain the relationship. Even simple tantrums can tear down a huge piece of stability in the relationship because direct communication is missing. Imagine it's so difficult to uphold the flame in the relationship, yet you are behaving the same way you will do in a normal relationship - the wind will be too strong for the love to be kept alive.
In LDR, because direct communication is missing, we can see major preception errors in your relationship. (1) Money is NOT important to you, but in fact, it would be a problem to him. If understanding were to take place, would you in the first place think about trying to spend more time with him? (Emotional needs) against knowing his plight and probably wait until the next time when you see him?
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I remembered one old self-esteem-motivation talks I been to. The speaker said he has perfect memories and we tested him. He managed to remember eleven, but miss on one. The entire class poke at his one mistake and he said this:
'Why do you focus on that one particular mistake and ignore the eleven rights?' Out of ten sacrifice, do you condemn a person because he has not fulfilled a couple?
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Second preception error; the LAST THING you should ever do in a relationship is to fringing` compare it with OTHER relationships. Sure '...Other bfs go to gfs house to pick them up before goin out and bfs always call their gfs at home...' But in THEIR relationship, the guy are possessive or they club alot and neglect them in the past, or they only see each other once every two weeks or they quarrel every three days....
and the OR LIST goes on....
You must understand that your own relationship is different. What exist in other's relationship may not exist in yours, but the sh|t that they are having, you may not have.
Learn to love and understand the dynamic of your relationship instead of living according to the market expectation.
P.S: LDR is difficult relationship and if both party isn't equip with the skills to handle them, it usual dies.
Cheers -
There is a possibility of them being together again, although the chances are slim. Waiting is just an excuse to make both of them feel better and have some hope in their heart everyday to keep them going. But once one of them has already got over this depression period, that person will want to abandon the hope that they shared to keep them going everyday. One of them is bound/doomed to be hurt in the end of the line....and it is going to be very hurt. Usually it is the person who suggested this waiting idea, be the one who will get over with the depression first and end up hurting the other clueless person.
Love is like an evil seed planted firmly inside our heart...it can never be completely erased from our heart, we just merely choose to ignore that love that has planted itself in our heart.
I feel that as long as both persons have accepted the love for each other, no matter how far they are apart from each other...they are only far physically in distance but closer to each other in their heart than the person beside them. Love can hold their faith together in their heart, but you need fate to really bring them together.
So the possibility of them being together again really have to depend on fate itself. I'm sure none of them will ever forget about each other....that feeling is what we commonly know as missing each other.
Good Luck and I hope fate will bring both of them together again...but remember, things will be different...because people will always move on with their lives and situations will definitely change. -
Feeling a little guilty? Having regrets?Originally posted by lonely_paws:she thanks all for the encouragement.
Though you might be doing quite well on a LDR, but living together is really quite a different thing..
And as you should have probably find out by now... Being together takes alot more giving way and giving in..... -
yeah.. i knoe now..
i suddenly felt v guilty when he told me that all the time he had been taking my nonsense and trashing and scolding and sorta emotional abuse.. and he just taken it all in silently.. hais... felt like knife stab in my heart few hundred times..
then i thought that he was a nice man and he deserves all the happiness he should have... i feel that i'm not worthy of him coz of my behavior and all the hurt i caused..
NOw that i really miss him... i really dunno what to do... -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
I thought both parties are back in SG? Its not a LDR anymore... is it? Road of a LDR is difficult and twice the effort is needed to substain the relationship. Even simple tantrums can tear down a huge piece of stability in the relationship because direct communication is missing. Imagine it's so difficult to uphold the flame in the relationship, yet you are behaving the same way you will do in a normal relationship - the wind will be too strong for the love to be kept alive.
In LDR, because direct communication is missing, we can see major preception errors in your relationship. (1) Money is NOT important to you, but in fact, it would be a problem to him. If understanding were to take place, would you in the first place think about trying to spend more time with him? (Emotional needs) against knowing his plight and probably wait until the next time when you see him?
***
I remembered one old self-esteem-motivation talks I been to. The speaker said he has perfect memories and we tested him. He managed to remember eleven, but miss on one. The entire class poke at his one mistake and he said this:
'Why do you focus on that one particular mistake and [b]ignore the eleven rights?' Out of ten sacrifice, do you condemn a person because he has not fulfilled a couple?
***
Second preception error; the LAST THING you should ever do in a relationship is to fringing` compare it with OTHER relationships. Sure '...Other bfs go to gfs house to pick them up before goin out and bfs always call their gfs at home...' But in THEIR relationship, the guy are possessive or they club alot and neglect them in the past, or they only see each other once every two weeks or they quarrel every three days....
and the OR LIST goes on....
You must understand that your own relationship is different. What exist in other's relationship may not exist in yours, but the sh|t that they are having, you may not have.
Learn to love and understand the dynamic of your relationship instead of living according to the market expectation.
P.S: LDR is difficult relationship and if both party isn't equip with the skills to handle them, it usual dies.
Cheers [/b] -
Don't just give up on it like that... Your foundation is already there... Your love is already there... Though it previously existed in a LDR form, you can modify it to exist on another form... Though it might not be easy to start with, but the same question should linger on both your minds....Originally posted by lonely_paws:yeah.. i knoe now..
i suddenly felt v guilty when he told me that all the time he had been taking my nonsense and trashing and scolding and sorta emotional abuse.. and he just taken it all in silently.. hais... felt like knife stab in my heart few hundred times..
then i thought that he was a nice man and he deserves all the happiness he should have... i feel that i'm not worthy of him coz of my behavior and all the hurt i caused..
NOw that i really miss him... i really dunno what to do...
"If given a chance for me to let him take my hand again, would I take it up or would I just let go?"
"If given a chance for me to take her hand again, would I take it up or would I just let go?"
Personally, I would find it such a pity to just give things up like that at this point... Given the fact that you've already survived a LDR... What you have to face now is something more realistic today... Can do it at a slower pace... Slowly 'practise'.... Spend less time with each other (but do let him know your 'plannings')... Slowly increase the amount of time IF you WANT TO.... Understand how much you really want each other... Only from there would you truly understand and appreciates the time you've got for each other and be blissed....
You know how a love story happens...? Alot of people thought that it just happens overnight like MAGIC.... Now let me tell you the true story... Sometimes it happens that way... Alot of other times it's WRITTEN... Word by word through EFFORTS.... That's when the MAGIC REALLY HAPPENS...
All the best my dear? -
Double Post.
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double posts are annoying Devil 1976 can you erase one of them!
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ermm... currently not LDR coz we're at status of just being good frens now. But will get back in few days to have a good talk together lohs..Originally posted by :I thought both parties are back in SG? Its not a LDR anymore... is it?
thanks for the advice; i'll get him back i hope.. hees
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Well, I think it will be much easier now that the both of you have finished studies and should be working by now... things are more stable and clear.Originally posted by lonely_paws:ermm... currently not LDR coz we're at status of just being good frens now. But will get back in few days to have a good talk together lohs..
thanks for the advice; i'll get him back i hope.. hees
All the best! -
Lagging is annoying too.. Need some time to realise that I've created a 'double'...Originally posted by :double posts are annoying Devil 1976 can you erase one of them! 