i m no longer myself..wat should i do?
-
My bf and I have been tgr for abt 4 mths. Recently we keep quarreling its more sort of like as we r getting closer to each other, we tend to see each other weak points more or things we r unhappy wif.
But bcos I love him too much wen I m unhappy abt certain things in him, I will jus keep quiet n respect his decision. As for him, wen he is unhappy abt certain things wif mi, he will jus say it out and angry abt mi and say I hurt him a lot.
Recently we had a quarrel again, after tat he did not contact mi for a day cos I noe he needs to cool down so I didnÂ’t call him. Tat day I was very very sad. I couldnÂ’t slp for 2 nites. I really miss him a lot. It seems like my life will collapse without him. I guess I love him too much.
ItÂ’s the 1st time I have tis kinda feelings towards my bf. Cos usually in the past I m a very strong will woman and kinda stubborn towards my ex. i never been so sad before even when I quarrel wif my ex. Ever since I m wif tis current bf, I find tat all day I will miss him, I put him in my 1st priority wen I want to do anything, I will give in to him if we have any argument.
I used to be an independent woman but after falling in love wif him, I m jus not my usual self anymore. I m not the stronger me anymore. I jus dunno y. all mind was him. He seems to be very important to mi. its not tat I m very dependent on him. He still goes out wif his frens. And when I noe he is going out wif his frens, I will go out wif my frens or go out alone or stay at home.
But there is one thing we both have; we are easily jealous type of person. Wen I noe he has a good fren who is a lady, I m kinda jealous and he told me b4 tat the lady did hint to him b4 tat she likes him but tat was already years ago. Now they were jus good frens. And she is attached for abt 2-3 years already..wen I get to noe tat my bf and her did call each other at times to catch up I feel very uneasy but jus keep quiet cos I noe its my jealousy. I told my bf b4 but he assured tat they were jus good frens and will not b tgr wif her. After tat I will jus keep quiet wen I saw his hp got her num call in or wen he call her or sms each other.
I feel tat lately IÂ’ve been thinking too much. And after the recent quarrel, my bf tends keep a distance frm mi as in not to meet up so much so less friction. I feel very uneasy and very sad. Wat should I do? I keep telling myself to b more strong more independent but I still think of him every day. I guess he may b sian of mi le or after a coupleÂ’s honeymood period is over, ugly things begin to come out. I really hope to b wif him forever.
I love him a lotÂ…wat should I do? I m in a dilemma rite now. Mayb I should not put so much of my love in him cos I scare if 1 day he leaves mi I will really collapse. My fren told mi tat I should not bother him too much cos if a gf bother the bf too much, the more the bf will feel irritated. And if the gf dun bother too much the guys will even love her moreÂ…izit true? I m sorry for typing too long cos I m really sad..i feel tat I will bcome mad sooner or laterÂ… -
Use paragraphs.Easier for others to read. 
Anyway,as to your problem,its quite common.
You seem to have grown dependent on him too much.It'll hurt when things dun go as smooth as planned.Maybe you can try to control your emotions and don't place all your hopes and life on him!
Then,I noticed that you've been bottling up feelings within yourself.Relationships take 2 parties to click.If you keep everything to yourself,it'll be hard for your bf to understand.Issues will be unresolved and over time,it'll accumulate and hurt you even more.
Then there is trust and Jealousy.Have a talk with him and there must be trust in a relationship.
Meanwhile,meet a friend,talk to someone.Let go your emotions,you'll feel better that way. -
thanx alot..i find tat i've been thinkin a way too much of him. i m afraid tat he will leave mi 1 day. wat should i do to divert all my thinkings? ya i've been talking to my frens abt it and they advise mi like wat u said but it still cant slove my problem. mayb i need more time to heal...do u think i m a way too possecive?Originally posted by Elephunk: Use paragraphs.Easier for others to read.
Anyway,as to your problem,its quite common.
You seem to have grown dependent on him too much.It'll hurt when things do go as smooth as planned.Maybe you can try to control your emotions and don't place all your hopes and life on him!
Then,I noticed that you've been bottling up feelings within yourself.Relationships take 2 parties to click.If you keep everything to yourself,it'll be hard for your bf to understand.Issues will be unresolved and over time,it'll accumulate and hurt you even more.
Then there is trust and Jealousy.Have a talk with him and there must be trust in a relationship.
Meanwhile,meet a friend,talk to someone.Let go your emotions,you'll feel better that way. -
Possessive only because you seem to really like him a lot or rather you fear losing him in your life.Originally posted by tissue:thanx alot..i find tat i've been thinkin a way too much of him. i m afraid tat he will leave mi 1 day. wat should i do to divert all my thinkings? ya i've been talking to my frens abt it and they advise mi like wat u said but it still cant slove my problem. mayb i need more time to heal...do u think i m a way too possecive?
Does your life circulate ard him?
If so,there is the root of your problem.Understand that there is more to life than him.For a start,there will be other guys around.
Occupy yourself with stuffs you enjoy.Go shopping with gal pals,or have kopi or something.Packed yourself with work or school.Once you r busy,you'll hardly think abt him.Or you can try exercising.Shagged out,you'll go to sleep.Catch up on your hobbies or things that you may feel you have missed out so far in your life apart from your bf.
I understand how you feel cos Ive been through it myself b4.Possessiveness,fear of losing and all.From my experiences,you'll recover.Time will heal all wounds. -
We can help more if yr BF oso give his side of da story.
-
thanx i will try to learn something new and to take up some new hobbies..anyway mayb due to my circle of frens is not big and although even i have alot of frens they all not close and only hi bye frens..all i have is only 1-3 gd frens but they are always usually occuppy wif their activites or wif their bfs so always end up mi shoppin alone or at hm. i m so so sick of my life..i m actually an active ger who dun like to hang put at home..tats y i rather go out alone if i got no frens to accompany mi. i rather see more ppl outside then 4 walls...suddenly i feel so lonely..Originally posted by Elephunk:Possessive only because you seem to really like him a lot or rather you fear losing him in your life.
Does your life circulate ard him?
If so,there is the root of your problem.Understand that there is more to life than him.For a start,there will be other guys around.
Occupy yourself with stuffs you enjoy.Go shopping with gal pals,or have kopi or something.Packed yourself with work or school.Once you r busy,you'll hardly think abt him.Or you can try exercising.Shagged out,you'll go to sleep.Catch up on your hobbies or things that you may feel you have missed out so far in your life apart from your bf.
I understand how you feel cos Ive been through it myself b4.Possessiveness,fear of losing and all.From my experiences,you'll recover.Time will heal all wounds. -
That's not unusual tissue.There are people out there in the same situation.I ,for one do not have a lot of close friends and it does gets lonely at times.But quality over quantity.Don't feel inferior just because you think you have less friends.Originally posted by tissue:thanx i will try to learn something new and to take up some new hobbies..anyway mayb due to my circle of frens is not big and although even i have alot of frens they all not close and only hi bye frens..all i have is only 1-3 gd frens but they are always usually occuppy wif their activites or wif their bfs so always end up mi shoppin alone or at hm. i m so so sick of my life..i m actually an active ger who dun like to hang put at home..tats y i rather go out alone if i got no frens to accompany mi. i rather see more ppl outside then 4 walls...suddenly i feel so lonely..
There's plenty of oppurtunites to make more friends,just be open to them at all times.
-
Firstly, you both have only been together for a very short period of time.. How well do you both know eack other??Originally posted by tissue:My bf and I have been tgr for abt 4 mths. Recently we keep quarreling its more sort of like as we r getting closer to each other, we tend to see each other weak points more or things we r unhappy wif.
But bcos I love him too much wen I m unhappy abt certain things in him, I will jus keep quiet n respect his decision. As for him, wen he is unhappy abt certain things wif mi, he will jus say it out and angry abt mi and say I hurt him a lot.
Recently we had a quarrel again, after tat he did not contact mi for a day cos I noe he needs to cool down so I didnÂ’t call him. Tat day I was very very sad. I couldnÂ’t slp for 2 nites. I really miss him a lot. It seems like my life will collapse without him. I guess I love him too much.
ItÂ’s the 1st time I have tis kinda feelings towards my bf. Cos usually in the past I m a very strong will woman and kinda stubborn towards my ex. i never been so sad before even when I quarrel wif my ex. Ever since I m wif tis current bf, I find tat all day I will miss him, I put him in my 1st priority wen I want to do anything, I will give in to him if we have any argument.
I used to be an independent woman but after falling in love wif him, I m jus not my usual self anymore. I m not the stronger me anymore. I jus dunno y. all mind was him. He seems to be very important to mi. its not tat I m very dependent on him. He still goes out wif his frens. And when I noe he is going out wif his frens, I will go out wif my frens or go out alone or stay at home.
But there is one thing we both have; we are easily jealous type of person. Wen I noe he has a good fren who is a lady, I m kinda jealous and he told me b4 tat the lady did hint to him b4 tat she likes him but tat was already years ago. Now they were jus good frens. And she is attached for abt 2-3 years already..wen I get to noe tat my bf and her did call each other at times to catch up I feel very uneasy but jus keep quiet cos I noe its my jealousy. I told my bf b4 but he assured tat they were jus good frens and will not b tgr wif her. After tat I will jus keep quiet wen I saw his hp got her num call in or wen he call her or sms each other.
I feel tat lately IÂ’ve been thinking too much. And after the recent quarrel, my bf tends keep a distance frm mi as in not to meet up so much so less friction. I feel very uneasy and very sad. Wat should I do? I keep telling myself to b more strong more independent but I still think of him every day. I guess he may b sian of mi le or after a coupleÂ’s honeymood period is over, ugly things begin to come out. I really hope to b wif him forever.
I love him a lotÂ…wat should I do? I m in a dilemma rite now. Mayb I should not put so much of my love in him cos I scare if 1 day he leaves mi I will really collapse. My fren told mi tat I should not bother him too much cos if a gf bother the bf too much, the more the bf will feel irritated. And if the gf dun bother too much the guys will even love her moreÂ…izit true? I m sorry for typing too long cos I m really sad..i feel tat I will bcome mad sooner or laterÂ…
For such a short period of time.. both of you has been quarrelling over small matters.. this will injure your relationshop very badly..
especially at the starting of the relationship... Once again.. you both did not even solve the problems you had all along..
You jus brush it across.. leave it a day or two.. for both to calm and cool down.. Thereafter... the next day.. you come as a loving couple again.. as if nothing has ever happen..
Do you think the matter has been solved? you think it has! but it's not.. Is still there hanging.. it will still come again and again.. like flu virus.. never ending..
you wan to put a stop to it.. you must first acknowlege whats the problems or the root of the matters that cuases all these to happen over and over..
It's not very healthy for you or for the relationship to jus kept quiet all the while without speaking out.. You listen to him.. respect to him.. that's one issue.. In order not to have a stagnant relationship.. communciation skills must be there..
Learn to open up to him.. whenever you are unhappy about something.. or something that you always wanna tell him about.. Is good that he will share his unhappiness with you.. but in a wrong way.. shouldn't be angry and grumble about you.. he should love you the way you are.. not what he wants you to be..
Maybe you should voice it out to him that you can talkk things over calmly instead of everytime end up quarrelling..
you love him more than he loves you.. that's why you have these kinda of funny feelings.. your emotions your soul has over take your rational mind..
Everything is love love love and love! this wont help..
You are also feeling insecurity in these relationship.., you need to build up your confidence level.. and trust in him... you stand side by side with him.. not higher or lower.. in this way.. you will feel what he feels.. sees the things he sees.. same level of visons...
even if one day he leaves.. you feel sad of cos.. but on the other hand.. maybe is a good ending for both in this way.. if one day he has to leave.. let him go.. let him find his own happiness in him..
If he can reassure you that he got nothing to do with other girls.. then dun DOUBT HIM!
Let him have his own private space.. whether who msg him.. who he goes out with.. be normal.. there's nothing wrong with it.. vice versa.. will you feel good when he tied you up too tight.. till you cannot breathe.. or if he stops and says.. you better stay away from all guys.. cannot chat cannot sms blah blah.. would you wan that??
Jealousy.. everyone does.. even me.. but i always tell myself.. i trust my guy.. give him your fullest support..
Honey moon period.. can be anytime during the relatioship.. you can have it throuhgout the whole relatioship.. provided you know how to handle your things well.. and maintain a healthy one..
you are feeling rather very dependant on him.. cos of the INSECURITY you have for yourself.. and in this relationship..
Suggest you have a talk with him about the issue that keep bothering you.. he give you a definite answer.. from there.. keep your trust in him.. have faith~
then you won't feel so worse like now.. there's stil llong long way for you to go.. Sign of possessiveness is not good~!!
*Communications is essential..
Cheers... -
be your other self lor.... that is if you know your other self.
-
Originally posted by SunRisE:
This is what I call too many paragraphs!!!
Firstly, you both have only been together for a very short period of time.. How well do you both know eack other??
For such a short period of time.. both of you has been quarrelling over small matters.. this will injure your relationshop very badly..
especially at the starting of the relationship... Once again.. you both did not even solve the problems you had all along..
You jus brush it across.. leave it a day or two.. for both to calm and cool down.. Thereafter... the next day.. you come as a loving couple again.. as if nothing has ever happen..
Do you think the matter has been solved? you think it has! but it's not.. Is still there hanging.. it will still come again and again.. like flu virus.. never ending..
you wan to put a stop to it.. you must first [b]acknowlege whats the problems or the root of the matters that cuases all these to happen over and over..
It's not very healthy for you or for the relationship to jus kept quiet all the while without speaking out.. You listen to him.. respect to him.. that's one issue.. In order not to have a stagnant relationship.. communciation skills must be there..
Learn to open up to him.. whenever you are unhappy about something.. or something that you always wanna tell him about.. Is good that he will share his unhappiness with you.. but in a wrong way.. shouldn't be angry and grumble about you.. he should love you the way you are.. not what he wants you to be..
Maybe you should voice it out to him that you can talkk things over calmly instead of everytime end up quarrelling..
you love him more than he loves you.. that's why you have these kinda of funny feelings.. your emotions your soul has over take your rational mind..
Everything is love love love and love! this wont help..
You are also feeling insecurity in these relationship.., you need to build up your confidence level.. and trust in him... you stand side by side with him.. not higher or lower.. in this way.. you will feel what he feels.. sees the things he sees.. same level of visons...
even if one day he leaves.. you feel sad of cos.. but on the other hand.. maybe is a good ending for both in this way.. if one day he has to leave.. let him go.. let him find his own happiness in him..
If he can reassure you that he got nothing to do with other girls.. then dun DOUBT HIM!
Let him have his own private space.. whether who msg him.. who he goes out with.. be normal.. there's nothing wrong with it.. vice versa.. will you feel good when he tied you up too tight.. till you cannot breathe.. or if he stops and says.. you better stay away from all guys.. cannot chat cannot sms blah blah.. would you wan that??
Jealousy.. everyone does.. even me.. but i always tell myself.. i trust my guy.. give him your fullest support..
Honey moon period.. can be anytime during the relatioship.. you can have it throuhgout the whole relatioship.. provided you know how to handle your things well.. and maintain a healthy one..
you are feeling rather very dependant on him.. cos of the INSECURITY you have for yourself.. and in this relationship..
Suggest you have a talk with him about the issue that keep bothering you.. he give you a definite answer.. from there.. keep your trust in him.. have faith~
then you won't feel so worse like now.. there's stil llong long way for you to go.. Sign of possessiveness is not good~!!
*Communications is essential..
Cheers... [/b] -
-
Girls are generally very jealous and insecure beings... most guys are just insensitive and naturally unresponsive...
Hence the need for communication... let him know of it...
-
Join us for OUTINGS....Originally posted by tissue:thanx i will try to learn something new and to take up some new hobbies..anyway mayb due to my circle of frens is not big and although even i have alot of frens they all not close and only hi bye frens..all i have is only 1-3 gd frens but they are always usually occuppy wif their activites or wif their bfs so always end up mi shoppin alone or at hm. i m so so sick of my life..i m actually an active ger who dun like to hang put at home..tats y i rather go out alone if i got no frens to accompany mi. i rather see more ppl outside then 4 walls...suddenly i feel so lonely..
-
Yea, from what I hear they have lotsa of fun doing their outings...Originally posted by Devil1976:Join us for OUTINGS....
*Pssst... I hear Devil1976 is quite yandao... * -
Nay... Surely you can LOVE him as much as you want... He's YOUR BF what...?Originally posted by tissue:My bf and I have been tgr for abt 4 mths. Recently we keep quarreling its more sort of like as we r getting closer to each other, we tend to see each other weak points more or things we r unhappy wif.
But bcos I love him too much wen I m unhappy abt certain things in him, I will jus keep quiet n respect his decision. As for him, wen he is unhappy abt certain things wif mi, he will jus say it out and angry abt mi and say I hurt him a lot.
Recently we had a quarrel again, after tat he did not contact mi for a day cos I noe he needs to cool down so I didnÂ’t call him. Tat day I was very very sad. I couldnÂ’t slp for 2 nites. I really miss him a lot. It seems like my life will collapse without him. I guess I love him too much.
ItÂ’s the 1st time I have tis kinda feelings towards my bf. Cos usually in the past I m a very strong will woman and kinda stubborn towards my ex. i never been so sad before even when I quarrel wif my ex. Ever since I m wif tis current bf, I find tat all day I will miss him, I put him in my 1st priority wen I want to do anything, I will give in to him if we have any argument.
I used to be an independent woman but after falling in love wif him, I m jus not my usual self anymore. I m not the stronger me anymore. I jus dunno y. all mind was him. He seems to be very important to mi. its not tat I m very dependent on him. He still goes out wif his frens. And when I noe he is going out wif his frens, I will go out wif my frens or go out alone or stay at home.
But there is one thing we both have; we are easily jealous type of person. Wen I noe he has a good fren who is a lady, I m kinda jealous and he told me b4 tat the lady did hint to him b4 tat she likes him but tat was already years ago. Now they were jus good frens. And she is attached for abt 2-3 years already..wen I get to noe tat my bf and her did call each other at times to catch up I feel very uneasy but jus keep quiet cos I noe its my jealousy. I told my bf b4 but he assured tat they were jus good frens and will not b tgr wif her. After tat I will jus keep quiet wen I saw his hp got her num call in or wen he call her or sms each other.
I feel tat lately IÂ’ve been thinking too much. And after the recent quarrel, my bf tends keep a distance frm mi as in not to meet up so much so less friction. I feel very uneasy and very sad. Wat should I do? I keep telling myself to b more strong more independent but I still think of him every day. I guess he may b sian of mi le or after a coupleÂ’s honeymood period is over, ugly things begin to come out. I really hope to b wif him forever.
I love him a lotÂ…wat should I do? I m in a dilemma rite now. Mayb I should not put so much of my love in him cos I scare if 1 day he leaves mi I will really collapse. My fren told mi tat I should not bother him too much cos if a gf bother the bf too much, the more the bf will feel irritated. And if the gf dun bother too much the guys will even love her moreÂ…izit true? I m sorry for typing too long cos I m really sad..i feel tat I will bcome mad sooner or laterÂ… But like what others have suggested, don't let him be your WHOLE WORLD lor...
Don't think of silly things like is the honeymoon period over and the ugly things start to come out... 'Ugly things' can come out ANYTIME.... Honeymoon or no honeymoon... And LOVE can STILL BE THERE.... Honeymoon or no honeymoon... It usually just evolves into another kinda QUALITY....
As a relationship proceeds, it would usually EVOLVES and there're bound to be some CHANGES... Big or small...
I think your bf's 'strategy' in avoiding you might be a good or bad one... Depending on his intention and how he uses it.. (and how often he uses it?)
Something you could add to it.. During cool down or avoidance period.. You can always sms or e-mail him... Avoid direct correspondance contact unless both of you are VERY GOOD in handling that kinda situation (which is quite unlikely the case here)... Use a sort of 'mono-directional' 'communication'... Meaning you give him a message... He reply you one... That's IT... Unless things work out to be EXTREMELY WELL.. Just let it as it is... And in this 'message' of yours, AVOID working on REASONING... INSTEAD, work on LOVE... Something like.. Just let him know that no matter what just happened, you still love him very much.. Something like that....
It's relatively true that during HONEYMOON period, logics are usually greatly reduced and flaws minimised in each other's eyes... Because thinking's still young... Usually of curious and positive quality....
However, having honeymoon period OVER doesn't necessarily spell the end of your love story or the start of a bitter struggle for the relationship... It simply just work on a different mode and requires fine tuning and adjustment... It's a bit like... Studying for exams and then sitting for papers... You know..?
After that phase, the relationship is usually pulled back much closer to the ground... Faces reality and the more 'physical' each other... Things that are more 'SOLID'... Some things which you can't hide.... Cutting edges of a 'connection'.... Like... Running 2 computer programs together and sometimes they clash due to certain reasons....
So the period after Honeymoon is still on EXPLORATION of the relationship... But in a more mature sense usually... Still be 'HONEYS'... (In fact you'll need much of that from time to time to overcome things... ) But no swinging by the see-saw whole day long ok? Things which needs to be smoothen out, LOOK at them... REVIEW them and try to think of a way out... If both parties share the SAME kinda 'spirit' and commitment to a certain extent... Things can actually be QUITE INTERESTING... Have FUN yeah? -
wow. yandao...can mi drool?Originally posted by :Yea, from what I hear they have lotsa of fun doing their outings...
*Pssst... I hear Devil1976 is quite yandao... *
-
Originally posted by tissue:My bf and I have been tgr for abt 4 mths. Recently we keep quarreling its more sort of like as we r getting closer to each other, we tend to see each other weak points more or things we r unhappy wif.
But bcos I love him too much wen I m unhappy abt certain things in him, I will jus keep quiet n respect his decision. As for him, wen he is unhappy abt certain things wif mi, he will jus say it out and angry abt mi and say I hurt him a lot.
Recently we had a quarrel again, after tat he did not contact mi for a day cos I noe he needs to cool down so I didnÂ’t call him. Tat day I was very very sad. I couldnÂ’t slp for 2 nites. I really miss him a lot. It seems like my life will collapse without him. I guess I love him too much.
ItÂ’s the 1st time I have tis kinda feelings towards my bf. Cos usually in the past I m a very strong will woman and kinda stubborn towards my ex. i never been so sad before even when I quarrel wif my ex. Ever since I m wif tis current bf, I find tat all day I will miss him, I put him in my 1st priority wen I want to do anything, I will give in to him if we have any argument.
I used to be an independent woman but after falling in love wif him, I m jus not my usual self anymore. I m not the stronger me anymore. I jus dunno y. all mind was him. He seems to be very important to mi. its not tat I m very dependent on him. He still goes out wif his frens. And when I noe he is going out wif his frens, I will go out wif my frens or go out alone or stay at home.
But there is one thing we both have; we are easily jealous type of person. Wen I noe he has a good fren who is a lady, I m kinda jealous and he told me b4 tat the lady did hint to him b4 tat she likes him but tat was already years ago. Now they were jus good frens. And she is attached for abt 2-3 years already..wen I get to noe tat my bf and her did call each other at times to catch up I feel very uneasy but jus keep quiet cos I noe its my jealousy. I told my bf b4 but he assured tat they were jus good frens and will not b tgr wif her. After tat I will jus keep quiet wen I saw his hp got her num call in or wen he call her or sms each other.
I feel tat lately IÂ’ve been thinking too much. And after the recent quarrel, my bf tends keep a distance frm mi as in not to meet up so much so less friction. I feel very uneasy and very sad. Wat should I do? I keep telling myself to b more strong more independent but I still think of him every day. I guess he may b sian of mi le or after a coupleÂ’s honeymood period is over, ugly things begin to come out. I really hope to b wif him forever.
I love him a lotÂ…wat should I do? I m in a dilemma rite now. Mayb I should not put so much of my love in him cos I scare if 1 day he leaves mi I will really collapse. My fren told mi tat I should not bother him too much cos if a gf bother the bf too much, the more the bf will feel irritated. And if the gf dun bother too much the guys will even love her moreÂ…izit true? I m sorry for typing too long cos I m really sad..i feel tat I will bcome mad sooner or laterÂ…
Like always, the effect of jealousy mask the root of insecurity and suppressed communication in view for short-term solution existed. These two elements explains much of your entire topic and even the advice given to you by friends will ultimately create greater chasm in your relationship that it can barely survive by then.My fren told mi tat I should not bother him too much cos if a gf bother the bf too much, the more the bf will feel irritated. And if the gf dun bother too much the guys will even love her moreÂ…izit true?
Wrong theory, wrong case, wrong effect as well - seriously, if you do follow what your friend had commented, you trust me on this: your relationship will be walking on the road to destruction. It is NOT about bothering, it is about knowing your problem, tackling them and solving them mutually. If relationship becomes a one man show thing - your cracks gets larger each day. Three things I see which is killing this relationship everyday:
I) Inability to share, explain and work things out. Seek to understand, then to be understood. It is not about potential quarrel; rather you must place in view of a long term fulfilling relationship. To cease communication because you fear it will draw verbal conflicts - you have to learn and practice tactful, yet effective couple communication. Please note, I am not asking you to rant and trash things as if you are being unreasonable. You only appear unreasonable if you acted and spoken like one - Be mature and logical in your speech. Motivate each other to do likewise.
II) In a relationship, as we get closer emotionally, we begin to discover new aspects of our partner's personality. If knowing them will throw you into hostile mode, question is 'ARE you going to be defensive against it? Or are you both going to sit down and discuss how are you going to deal with them?'
III) Jealousy. This chronic poison that will pollute the blood stream of your relationships; choke and clog every critical point of your love. This will gradually create much tension and stress within your relationship and causes either one of you to explode periodically. How can trust ever come into the picture when both of you grip love so possessively? For now, this wouldn't be too much of an issue (because the above two point could probably decapitate this relationship serious enough), but would be unhealthy for long term basis.
P.S: See beyond surface problems and have a soul talk regarding the three points. If nothing is improved, 'love vultures' are hovering in the air.
Cheers