wad do u think?
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my fren got this prob.. she fall in luv with a guy dat is older than her by 17yrs old. & she really crazy abt him. although she told me the guy msg her dat he like her but after awhile, the guy seems to avoid her. she pretty upset, wad can i do 2 help her?
moreover, she told me dat the guy has told his fren dat he din wana return her any sms coz he dun12 make thing complicated & keep stressing to his frenxs dat the ger is too young..
i tell her liao, the age gap too wide.. but she seems quite rigid abt tis thing... so wad 2 do ar?
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How old is your friend? Horoscope?Originally posted by Si|verGa|:my fren got this prob.. she fall in luv with a guy dat is older than her by 17yrs old. & she really crazy abt him. although she told me the guy msg her dat he like her but after awhile, the guy seems to avoid her. she pretty upset, wad can i do 2 help her?
moreover, she told me dat the guy has told his fren dat he din wana return her any sms coz he dun12 make thing complicated & keep stressing to his frenxs dat the ger is too young..
i tell her liao, the age gap too wide.. but she seems quite rigid abt tis thing... so wad 2 do ar?
It's not surprising at all that the guy behaves that way...
There's an 'alternate method'... But we shall leave that behind 1st for now...? -
she is my age.. 20 tis yr..Originally posted by Devil1976:How old is your friend? Horoscope?
It's not surprising at all that the guy behaves that way...
There's an 'alternate method'... But we shall leave that behind 1st for now...?
hw cum u say it not surprise? ya 1 more pt to note, he din even dare 2 tell my fren dat he find my fren too young, or dun12 be with her, he jux slient mode avoiding.. so irresponsible!
wad is alternate method? -
What's her horoscope?Originally posted by Si|verGa|:she is my age.. 20 tis yr..
hw cum u say it not surprise? ya 1 more pt to note, he din even dare 2 tell my fren dat he find my fren too young, or dun12 be with her, he jux slient mode avoiding.. so irresponsible!
wad is alternate method?
In man's natural development, usually 2 mainstreams would appear as he age...
1. Active (more sexual type)
2. Reserved (more homely type)
He belongs to the second. Besides.. The age gap can be really too wide... Think he's more into stable relationship by now maybe?
It's not a matter of irresponsibility.. Sometimes avoidance is the best way. Besides.. They have not even started on a relationship yet yeah? What responsibility you wanna talk about?
The 'alternate' is... For him to approach her... But through 'understanding', slowly turn him down... There's one strange thing about certain girls at a younger age. Sometimes they just wanna 'get it' for the sake of 'getting it'... Or if they never even try, they won't wanna give up... Your friend MIGHT just happens to be one of these types?
But of course, the 'alternate' doesn't always work on everyone... In fact, it might not even work on most people if not properly applied... -
if i rem rightly, it's virgo. ya she told me the guy is quite shy, so i think he shld be quite reserved type.Originally posted by Devil1976:What's her horoscope?
In man's natural development, usually 2 mainstreams would appear as he age...
1. Active (more sexual type)
2. Reserved (more homely type)
He belongs to the second. Besides.. The age gap can be really too wide... Think he's more into stable relationship by now maybe?
It's not a matter of irresponsibility.. Sometimes avoidance is the best way. Besides.. They have not even started on a relationship yet yeah? What responsibility you wanna talk about?
The 'alternate' is... For him to approach her... But through 'understanding', slowly turn him down... There's one strange thing about certain girls at a younger age. Sometimes they just wanna 'get it' for the sake of 'getting it'... Or if they never even try, they won't wanna give up... Your friend MIGHT just happens to be one of these types?
But of course, the 'alternate' doesn't always work on everyone... In fact, it might not even work on most people if not properly applied...
well, my fren told me is dat they guy actually say he like her but said want to be together but be in secret coz he dun12 let other knw. i find tis really abit weird.. den after, i think the frenxs ard them knw dat my fren like him so the frenxs tease them bah, i guess dat make the guy uneasy den began to avoid my fren & say my fren break her promise.
my fren was puzzled so after asking, the guy say it supposed to be a secret btw them but nw the frenxs knw so he quite upset abt it. he say ppl will gossip abt them coz the wide age differ. in my view, i think tis guy care abit 2 much abt others' views..
so nw since the guy is avoiding her, wad shld my fren do? act blur or wad?
i dun get wad u mean abt alternate? -
Originally posted by Si|verGa|:my fren got this prob.. she fall in luv with a guy dat is older than her by 17yrs old. & she really crazy abt him. although she told me the guy msg her dat he like her but after awhile, the guy seems to avoid her. she pretty upset, wad can i do 2 help her?
moreover, she told me dat the guy has told his fren dat he din wana return her any sms coz he dun12 make thing complicated & keep stressing to his frenxs dat the ger is too young..
i tell her liao, the age gap too wide.. but she seems quite rigid abt tis thing... so wad 2 do ar? 
Age gap far too wide and the Virgo guy will likely to hang onto the traditional ideal of life and relationship than to be a complete unique individual leading his own life. This explains his desire for a secret relationship and when the world knows about it - he panic and retreats.
Psychologically, it is usually the case for a woman to fall for a older man. But when the age gap is too wide, there would be problems later on. Seriously, I wouldn't advise entering such relationship because the rational of this relationship is on impulse emotions and it may not be substantial to handle future issue that are BOUND to slam right into the relationship.
The guy likes her no doubt.
The guy avoids her.
And in fact, when he likes her and he go through them mentally (Virgo ruling planet Mercury), he want the best for her (and himself), of course the best course of action is NOT to start a relationship.
Three major issues:
I) Physical needs difference - the amount and type of intimacy and this includes sexual needs.
II) Emotional needs difference - a 37 years old man will need different kind of emotional support and needs comparatively to a 20 years old girl. This is NOT an easy issue to tackle.
III) Psychological difference - Mindsets different, lifestyle clashes, frequency different. This will take great amount of feat to compromise and adjust to a neutral state.
He probably saw that coming.
Cheers -
Age gap too wide.. Is not the matter of whether you mind or don;t mind that age gap.. there are many cases where couples age generation are so wide.. Basically, is the emotional needs they wan from each other.. Will your friend be able to give what he needs??Originally posted by Si|verGa|:my fren got this prob.. she fall in luv with a guy dat is older than her by 17yrs old. & she really crazy abt him. although she told me the guy msg her dat he like her but after awhile, the guy seems to avoid her. she pretty upset, wad can i do 2 help her?
moreover, she told me dat the guy has told his fren dat he din wana return her any sms coz he dun12 make thing complicated & keep stressing to his frenxs dat the ger is too young..
i tell her liao, the age gap too wide.. but she seems quite rigid abt tis thing... so wad 2 do ar?
The thinking from a 20-year-old young adult... is very much different from a 37-year-old guy.. Your friend is jus too emotinal here.. and she jus go with her heart without much thinking of the consequences behind it.. The guy make the first move to back out.. cos he knows that this won't work out.. but of cos.. he shouldn't done it in this way..
Telling your friend age gap too wide.. she won't listen.. cos she already had her mindset that this doesn't pose any of a problem to her.. You must try to convince her that this guy isn't suitable for her in another way.. Let her is jus her "YI SHI CONG DONG" and crazy over him.. Since that guy has already hinted to her by not returning her sms.. She should jolly-well know that the guy wants to put a full-stop to it.. Even thought he declared that he likes her.. But then after... he realised.. like is jus about liking.. he couldn't get the things/needs he wants from the girl.. like marriage..
Well.. at this point of time.. your friend will definitely says.. "YA i'm READY" blah blah blah.. If that's the case.. no matter how much you all advised her.. it won't help.. unless there's someone out there who can really knock her senses up.. If not. i suggest you ask your friend to have a talk with this guy.. and settle it once and for all.. Tell your friend what's best for her (and the guy).. Loving one doesn't mean is a MUST to have him by your side..~
CHeers..
*someday somewhere she meet her MR. Right.. that's no rush for all this.. it comes naturally... * -
I think the 'virgo' refers to her friend who is a FEMALE...? -____-`~Originally posted by Yunhaier: Age gap far too wide and the Virgo guy will likely to hang onto the traditional ideal of life and relationship than to be a complete unique individual leading his own life.... -
I think your friend's thinking is more unique. A litte more open and readily accept such ideas. The guy on the other hand probably might have a little bit of generation gap?Originally posted by Si|verGa|:if i rem rightly, it's virgo. ya she told me the guy is quite shy, so i think he shld be quite reserved type.
well, my fren told me is dat they guy actually say he like her but said want to be together but be in secret coz he dun12 let other knw. i find tis really abit weird.. den after, i think the frenxs ard them knw dat my fren like him so the frenxs tease them bah, i guess dat make the guy uneasy den began to avoid my fren & say my fren break her promise.
my fren was puzzled so after asking, the guy say it supposed to be a secret btw them but nw the frenxs knw so he quite upset abt it. he say ppl will gossip abt them coz the wide age differ. in my view, i think tis guy care abit 2 much abt others' views..
so nw since the guy is avoiding her, wad shld my fren do? act blur or wad?
i dun get wad u mean abt alternate?
Anyway you can find out the horoscope of the guy? Not sure about his initial thinkings... But main possibilities may be...
1. He wants it to be an 'underground' relationship. Meaning he might not really be into a proper relationship. (this is hard to judge for now if he's this type as such mentality would really varies among different people)
2. Consciously or subconsciously, he's applying 'age gap pull technique'. Meaning he love your friend and don't wanna let go. Somehow figuring that though things might not be so readily accepted by the society now, in about 5 years' time or so when your friend matures even more, their age gap would appear relatively smaller? By then the relationship can develop into a more open one. Now he perhaps is thinking of nurturing it 1st.
'Alternate' is a method for your friend to give up on him? But guess both of you don't want that huh?
The guy's avoiding her might be out of fear (in case 1 mentioned above) of his intentions leaking out / guilt of such a thought. OR just a MINDSET that such a form of relationship won't be accepted (especially now that case 2 is exposed and lost).
MINDSET is something which is usually HARD to change. Especially as you AGE. Especially if you're someone who's not used to such.
Do you think your friend can CHANGE his MINDSET? From here... I figured that one of the best chances would be to OVERWHELM him with LOVE... So that it'll become a HEART over MIND situation. The rest can slowly work on it...