advicE?

xUeFeNg

17 Jul 04, 15:50

oK.. guys i need advice here.. my ex broke up with me 1 yr plus ago.. and after a few months.. he ask whether its possible to patch back.. i dun wan cause i am already attach.. but after so long i found out i still cant forget him ask sms him yesterday whether it possible to start all over again.. he told me he wanna work hard and earn more $$ since he just ORD and dun wish to go steady.. do guys really change after NS and is more sensible or izzit the things he telling me is all rubbish????

the Bear

17 Jul 04, 15:53

you probably broke his heart and he does not want to go through all that again...

or, he is at a point where he needs to take care of becoming financially independent and maybe he thinks having a girlfriend would be a financial strain he cannot handle which will tear both apart again...

or the love has died.. it has been a few months since he found out that you were not available anymore..

sometimes, it isn't about you..

you may or may not have changed... but the world may have changed too..

pipi & poot-poot

17 Jul 04, 16:06

Take more time 2 determine if he rily means it.....dis time...

BonJovi

17 Jul 04, 16:26

Ya...NS is sumthing tt makes 1 more mature Wink

BUT I STILL FUCKING HATE THE PROSPECT OF NEEDING TO SERVE

icecloud

17 Jul 04, 17:34

I guess people do change as they grow older and see more things in life...

jOhO

17 Jul 04, 17:38

it could be due to other factors, pple change not only thru NS.

either way, just go out as frens etc etc, and take it from there. if he's not even willing to come out as frens then wat to do?

anyway are u still attached? dun think it's advisable to "chase" another while u are still attached....

white tiger

17 Jul 04, 18:22

There is only two type of guys in and after NS.

One is that from bad to good and the other is from good to bad.

WISH U LUCK!!! Question

startrightnow

17 Jul 04, 19:32

yah..And that's me... Mr. Green

startrightnow

17 Jul 04, 19:33

i just like this replies..Cool.. Rolling Eyes

Axelheat755

17 Jul 04, 20:24

BS la...

what has working and going steady have to do with each other? u mean work cannot have steads ah? even students have steads. i know a few cases of ppl who no work but still got gf. if having a stead means having to have money then a lot of ppl no gf liao.

i think he is snubbing u for not agreeing to his plea earlier. since this time u r the one initiating the patch back, he is in no hurry to agree. it boost his ego. just my 2 cents.

Steph1125

17 Jul 04, 20:56

hmm.. from my point of view, i guess what that guy doing is also right . see, no money means no GF. but just like you said, if money has got something to do with relationship or love, it's not love anymore.

He also wanted the best for her girlfriend. And don't you know that guys are always so selfish.? and the point that you hinted out that some of the guys doesn't have job still got g.friend.. well, consider them lucky. But still, a guy with work is much more stable. afterall, would you girls want a guy with no money at all? i guess this is something which will changed your mind.

I'm not standing at the guy's side. Doesn't he know how lucky it was for a girl to SMS him, asking whether they could still be together or not. And not many people in this world got the chance to be together again though. So to that guy, don't feel proud of yourself .

And lastly, let's hope that you (the guy) could treasure things again.

xUeFeNg

18 Jul 04, 02:37

by the way i am not attached and.. and after all i dun think i broke his heart at all.. cause that time break is he wanted.. and after all i do agree with Steph1125 and Axelheat755.. but to me.. u wan work hard and dun wanna go steady? i still find it a bit ridiculous.. and indeed i took a lot of courage to sms him.. since it was like been 1 yr plus we have broken up.. but maybe after all.. he doesnt wan to try at all.. just an excuse to push me awaY???

ahkico

18 Jul 04, 03:01

Sometimes i feel tat... U gonna think why the relationship ended in the first place? Who was the one who initated the break-up?

Sometimes, of coz, wat we cannot have is always sweeter lor... So when u think back of time wif him... U will realise tat u still can't forget him... Think over it carefully... Do u really still lik him lik b4?

Plus u R still attached... Do u prefer tis guy or ur ex? Somehow, coz u both r tog, u will feel tat ur ex is better... But think clearly n mak a wise choice lor... The grass is always greener on the other side! Wink

Mayb he asked for patch in a moment of folly or ask in the moment of a spur? Then he tot tat mayb he couldn't bear the hurt of the past... So he don want continue... Mayb coz in the first place, he isn' very sure. or He is quite sure u wouldn't agree?

the Bear

18 Jul 04, 03:08

try to think from someone else's viewpoint..

you took a lot of courage to text him? didn't even call?

how about him when he tried to patch with you?

and yah.. maybe he doesn't wanna try anymore... maybe you have stopped being the centre of his universe... maybe he does not need someone in his life right now... people do have their own priorities which may not include you...

personally, i think he's trying to get on with his life...

xUeFeNg

18 Jul 04, 03:19

ok.. i am not attached now.. i broke up with my bf.. half a yr ago liao.. and.. ya i use sms to msg him.. i dun dare to call and try.. scare of direct face rejection.. and as for him.. he also use sms that time..

Yunhaier

18 Jul 04, 03:22

Have you ever realise that his reason may be just a facade of his already-gone-with-the-wind feelings for you?

Time change, people change, feeling change.

Cheers

Axelheat755

18 Jul 04, 03:38

ya , he may not be the same guy u know and loved a yr ago anymore. just get on with ur life and find another. im sure many guys here will be more than willing to be ur "friend". just dun find those looking for bed buddies only Laughing

Good luck

mushigen

18 Jul 04, 04:47

Magnus

18 Jul 04, 08:20

Priorities/focus do change at different stages in one's life.
Once out of NS, career is usually the focus.

But he may have lost interest in you, or any relationship for that matter.
Dun think so much. Stay friends.

chunyong

18 Jul 04, 08:37

bo lui how to go out see movie ? bo lui how to bao cab to send her home ? bo lui how to dine outside ? always ask the gal to pay ? bo ko leng lah....

BrUtUs

18 Jul 04, 10:07

stay frens... continue wif ur current relationship...

WrX_STi

18 Jul 04, 11:42

when he ask u to patch , u dun wan coz dat time u attach. mayb a reason to him. but after sometime when he decided to focus on career and u wanna patch. den u and ur bf how? how u gonna ans dat to ur bf? tink properly.

sometimes guys grow more sensible after NS. NS do change some guys.

u consideer properly. haf a gud chat with him.

WrX_STi

18 Jul 04, 11:43

when he ask u to patch , u dun wan coz dat time u attach. mayb a reason to him. but after sometime when he decided to focus on career and u wanna patch. den u and ur bf how? how u gonna ans dat to ur bf? tink properly.

sometimes guys grow more sensible after NS. NS do change some guys.

u consideer properly. haf a gud chat with him.

tranquil2

18 Jul 04, 18:35

well, maybe you're feeling uncertain because he seemed to be a different person, as his mindset has shifted a bit... but from a guy point of view, there are quite a number of possibilities.

Maybe to him, things will not be the same again after patching up with you or
he's really determined to save up so as to better secure him financially since the cost of living here is high or
he can't accept the fact that you're still thinking of him till now when at that point of time, he wanted to, but you didnt want. I dun noe him, but if he's tose guys that are emotional and sentimental, mayb it takes quite a while for him to accept it.

Dont brood over it too much... love will come to you. The more you crave for things, the more it becomes distant.. take good care...

xUeFeNg

18 Jul 04, 23:09

seeing all your replies makes me think a lot more and not think so much about it.. thanks.. Very Happy