problem with gf and future
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if you and ur gf(both 20+ yrs old) together for 4 yrs, then till this day she still hasn't mentioned anything to her parent, what could have gone wrong? what should the guy do?
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Ask her why is that so? Is she serious about this relationship? Is she currently seeing someone else? Did someone else you don't know of already make the trip to the in-laws place?Originally posted by ahworm:if you and ur gf(both 20+ yrs old) together for 4 yrs, then till this day she still hasn't mentioned anything to her parent, what could have gone wrong? what should the guy do?
Alternatively she might have a strict mother so that explains it. Some people pressure their children off relationships because they think they know what's best for them. Somehow most parents don't
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In ur early 20s or late 20s?Originally posted by ahworm:if you and ur gf(both 20+ yrs old) together for 4 yrs, then till this day she still hasn't mentioned anything to her parent, what could have gone wrong? what should the guy do?
U both still studyin or workin already?
Coz me n my ex... When i still young... In sec school... I cannot mak it known offically wif my parents n family members...
The main re being, my parents objection to me goin steady at school age...
Mayb the time is not yet ripe?
Mayb u should have a heart to heart talk wif ur gf about tis matter?
Or mayb suggest goin dinner at her place, etc... -
Rare for young pple to be so far-sighted.
Kudo to you and your parents.
The answer to your problem lies with your gal friend.
You have to ask her why.
Maybe she feels that it is too early or there may be something wrong with her parents and she dun want you to be shocked.
As a guy, you should have the initiative to ask her.
She could be expecting you to ask at the same time.
So, stop the waiting game and open your mouth.
If you dun ask, you never know, right ?? -
here's the situation to be more exact:
she is 22 yrs old; i'm 24 yrs old. she and i are seeing each other for 4 yrs. last time during poly days, she told me that her mum wants her to concentrate on sch so she will never allow a r/s. because of that, we are going thru underground r/s for 2 yr+. it is during these days when i realised that it's becoming a serious matter. i talk to her again, and she claimed that she also has the thought of bringing me to her mum. i was actually quite happy to hear that. as i'm having a 1 week block leave this week, she says she want to plan the parent meeting session this week. but she is always worry of this and that. she has a strict parent btw. i try to understand her situation. i try to give her suggestion on how to talk to her mum. cos i feel that i should chip in some ideas too. but no matter how much i say to her, it's as if nothings really gets into her. i have a strong feeling she will never tell her mum. because of this, i have a feeling of wanting to bo chap liao. and also i'm starting to feel how are our future like for an underground r/s for the rest of our life.
note: i know it's not the end of the week, but 99% she's not going to say. i know her too well. -
If you realised she has problems because of a strict parent, why not try to understand it for a while. If I were you I would tahan it for a year or more. She's done through her school already? Give her somemore time. Try to ask her to talk more to her mum about you. Let her introduce you as a friend first, and see what happens. Sometimes parents are the defining factors to whether a relationship passes or fails. In which this case it carrys a weightage of 51%. So it's up to your discretion. Will you die if her parents don't know yet? Or does it bother you too much that you have to do it. Whatever it is, may the force be with youOriginally posted by ahworm:here's the situation to be more exact:
she is 22 yrs old; i'm 24 yrs old. she and i are seeing each other for 4 yrs. last time during poly days, she told me that her mum wants her to concentrate on sch so she will never allow a r/s. because of that, we are going thru underground r/s for 2 yr+. it is during these days when i realised that it's becoming a serious matter. i talk to her again, and she claimed that she also has the thought of bringing me to her mum. i was actually quite happy to hear that. as i'm having a 1 week block leave this week, she says she want to plan the parent meeting session this week. but she is always worry of this and that. she has a strict parent btw. i try to understand her situation. i try to give her suggestion on how to talk to her mum. cos i feel that i should chip in some ideas too. but no matter how much i say to her, it's as if nothings really gets into her. i have a strong feeling she will never tell her mum. because of this, i have a feeling of wanting to bo chap liao. and also i'm starting to feel how are our future like for an underground r/s for the rest of our life.
note: i know it's not the end of the week, but 99% she's not going to say. i know her too well. -
my worries and concern is all for the good sake of this r/s.
1) i dun want to marry her the day her parent doesn't exist
2) i cannot imagine what will happen if her parent run into us on street one day.
3) i'm sick of this underground r/s. i just want a normal r/s
4) from 3), i feel there's a serious problem. -
cum on it not tat serious my ex wif me 4 5 years ard 4 years then she bring me 2 c her parent be paitent
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Originally posted by ahworm:here's the situation to be more exact:
she is 22 yrs old; i'm 24 yrs old. she and i are seeing each other for 4 yrs. last time during poly days, she told me that her mum wants her to concentrate on sch so she will never allow a r/s. because of that, we are going thru underground r/s for 2 yr+. it is during these days when i realised that it's becoming a serious matter. i talk to her again, and she claimed that she also has the thought of bringing me to her mum. i was actually quite happy to hear that. as i'm having a 1 week block leave this week, she says she want to plan the parent meeting session this week. but she is always worry of this and that. she has a strict parent btw. i try to understand her situation. i try to give her suggestion on how to talk to her mum. cos i feel that i should chip in some ideas too. but no matter how much i say to her, it's as if nothings really gets into her. i have a strong feeling she will never tell her mum. because of this, i have a feeling of wanting to bo chap liao. and also i'm starting to feel how are our future like for an underground r/s for the rest of our life.
note: i know it's not the end of the week, but 99% she's not going to say. i know her too well.
There is a strong parental influence on her which affects her relationship. Don't jump into conclusion yet. You may like to do some soul talk on how to handle this issue and not so much about the meeting itself and see what's her take on it. She may feel that this is a one-shot-win thing and if your first impression fails to impress, that may generated more problems.
P.S: You may understand her very well; but she is the one who understand her mum.
Cheers -
Wow, 4 yrs & her parents don't know? Must be very blur. U mean u don't even call her house? I don't understand what's the big deal in bringing a guy home. It's not like u have to marry him. Nowadays very common to have guys visiting esp. doing projects. In fact I rather my kids be open & let me know who they are hanging out.
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COOL... READ THIS..Originally posted by Yunhaier: There is a strong parental influence on her which affects her relationship. Don't jump into conclusion yet. You may like to do some soul talk on how to handle this issue and not so much about the meeting itself and see what's her take on it. She may feel that this is a one-shot-win thing and if your first impression fails to impress, that may generated more problems.
P.S: You may understand her very well; but she is the one who understand her mum.
Cheers
And DON'T push her TOO MUCH to an unreasonable amount or do anything harsh... What DONE cannot be UNDONE. You might just make the situation MUCH WORSE... Rather EASILY?
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you want a boring advise, here goes...
be patient and be supportive in whatever your gf priority is, studies in this case. And dun get upset by giving in too much...
shower her with attention, love and affection.
Parents:
do your research... fine out indirectly what her parents like and dislike...
Chinese tea, kue kue, etc... food does some of the tricks to most asia parents... but not always... for you to find out...
be patient...
sounds like my previous relationship... the parents over protective...
then you better watch yourself.. watch your back...
every little thing you do, they notice...
give your gf space and time too...
do the above... before you meet parents... get something for her to bring home... dun expect her to say, my bf ask me to bring one... and dun expect her to answer what her parents respond... just do it... at least they know you exist... before meeting them... -
maybe ur gf feels dat ur relationship are not considered very stable yet... in the sense maybe u r not really her mr right.. so she doesnt wan to bring u to her parents.. in case if anything happens *touch wood* sorry.. den her parents will ask her eh.. how come u haf changed ur bf already ah???
sorry if my comments are a bit negative... dun mean anything
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i guess she hav problems bringing up the matter to her parents.. or mayb she tinks it's not stable yet.. she wants some hu can giv her security.. try to go over to her hpouse more often.. it helps
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riding donkey looking for horse
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Maybe you should focus on planning your future if you are serious about the relationship rather than dwelling into why she has not mentioned anything to her parents.
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walao that gal how old already? silly excuse so scare of parents?Originally posted by DXuan:If you realised she has problems because of a strict parent, why not try to understand it for a while. If I were you I would tahan it for a year or more. She's done through her school already? Give her somemore time. Try to ask her to talk more to her mum about you. Let her introduce you as a friend first, and see what happens. Sometimes parents are the defining factors to whether a relationship passes or fails. In which this case it carrys a weightage of 51%. So it's up to your discretion. Will you die if her parents don't know yet? Or does it bother you too much that you have to do it. Whatever it is, may the force be with you
you got a job now, u a criminal or terrorist, u got other gal fren or are not being truthful or loyal to ur current galfren ?
its ur gf u gonna spend the remainding days wif u u know, not her parents.
and it is not her parents u gonna mate and produce offsprings u know.
so many silly excuse.......if she not keen...move on man