past hurts still haunts...
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just wanna know if this is normal...
a short story...
since leaving a long term relationship, gal been getting into a few short lived relationships that left even more hurts and pains in her life. all these happen within a year and it had been the guys expressing interest first (ie, gal was not looking lah). now gal is with another and gal is very happy when with this guy. the relationship is still a young but she oready can see a future with this guy. problem is that hurts and pains from past relationships are still haunting her and still affects her quite badly. it causes her to be depressed and she keeps thinking abt why things go wrong, why the guys lied, etc. all these are affecting her current relationship and although she tries, she still can't get over the past. gal does not want the current relationship to be strained or worse, ended because she can't get over past hurts. gal wants very much to be able to stop this torment and be happy.
is it normal for her to be like this? would it be over soon? or is there something really wrong with the gal?
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it's normal to have these feelings...
although they always says that time will heal all pains...
but that's easier said than done.
try to think more on yr current relationship n not dwell on the past...
cheers
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Everyone is different so it is not wise to compare. Just cos the ex-boyfriends lie, doesn't mean the current one will do so. Don't dwell on the past & don't be pessimistic abt this new relationship. Be happy & treat it as a new beginning
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normal...cos i think this way at times too....the rejections caused her to feel inferior abt her self....Originally posted by ~.~:just wanna know if this is normal...
a short story...
since leaving a long term relationship, gal been getting into a few short lived relationships that left even more hurts and pains in her life. all these happen within a year and it had been the guys expressing interest first (ie, gal was not looking lah). now gal is with another and gal is very happy when with this guy. the relationship is still a young but she oready can see a future with this guy. problem is that hurts and pains from past relationships are still haunting her and still affects her quite badly. it causes her to be depressed and she keeps thinking abt why things go wrong, why the guys lied, etc. all these are affecting her current relationship and although she tries, she still can't get over the past. gal does not want the current relationship to be strained or worse, ended because she can't get over past hurts. gal wants very much to be able to stop this torment and be happy.
is it normal for her to be like this? would it be over soon? or is there something really wrong with the gal?
hmm....me like toking abt myself
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Nothin's wrong....it wud b even crazier 4 d gal in question 2 throw herself in2 d foray again w/o learnin anydin from d past r/s.....
Move forward, jus tread carefully... -
But like that, damned unfair to the new guy who truly loves her
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Gal got into a relationship too early when she wasn't mentally prepared for it. For whatever reason it is, she knows it best. Would advise her to get over and move on with her past sad/confusing/frustrating feelings first before she commits in another relationship to be fair to her future bf.Originally posted by ~.~:just wanna know if this is normal...
a short story...
since leaving a long term relationship, gal been getting into a few short lived relationships that left even more hurts and pains in her life. all these happen within a year and it had been the guys expressing interest first (ie, gal was not looking lah). now gal is with another and gal is very happy when with this guy. the relationship is still a young but she oready can see a future with this guy. problem is that hurts and pains from past relationships are still haunting her and still affects her quite badly. it causes her to be depressed and she keeps thinking abt why things go wrong, why the guys lied, etc. all these are affecting her current relationship and although she tries, she still can't get over the past. gal does not want the current relationship to be strained or worse, ended because she can't get over past hurts. gal wants very much to be able to stop this torment and be happy.
is it normal for her to be like this? would it be over soon? or is there something really wrong with the gal?
Yes it is normal for her to feel this way. She should let go of her feelings and learn to forgive and forget. If she is unable to forgive, forget might be the easiest way out but not the permanent solution. If she is unable to forget, then she should learn to forgive as this is the permanent solution. Depends on which is easier/faster for her to assist her in moving on with her life and feelings.
Good luck to her anyway. She is going to need it cos she is still quite young. -
Got into too many short term relationships too fast.
Even if she wasn't the one looking she must have the heart to say no. Experience has shown that girls prefer to have a guarded heart against man which in turn would sabotage their relationship. Then again a guarded heart would mean semi-truth feelings which will make the guy feel hurt if he ever found out, not unless he don't care of cos. But if she wants to go out and have a relationship this frequent this fast, it's best she does it with a guarded heart. Sure the guy might be true to her, but in her own interest I believe once she finds out she can revert to loving wholeheartedly again. Well that's just how I feel, because of experience
Take care -
tell me about it. i loved someone for 3 years... but things weren't meant to be. i still cannot walk away from the hurts.. sometimes i got interested in another girl.. but i am afraid that it will not be fair for her.
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ya.... nobody deserves to be a rebound... So never treat anyone as one. I was a fool for 3 years because of this.Originally posted by dumbdumb!:tell me about it. i loved someone for 3 years... but things weren't meant to be. i still cannot walk away from the hurts.. sometimes i got interested in another girl.. but i am afraid that it will not be fair for her.
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It's definitely normal for girl to feel this way.. i'm going thru it too.. It's nv easy to overcome all the pain and hurts alone. i share it with my bf. we are trying to work things out..Since she's in a relationship currently, perhaps she can try sharing it wif the current bf? with great encouragement and support from the loved ones will be a strong driving force. Life will brighten up too.. But girl haf to be determined to abandon the past first. All the best!
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Girls give the good advice Guys only know how to console... lolOriginally posted by ~Lyn~:It's definitely normal for girl to feel this way.. i'm going thru it too.. It's nv easy to overcome all the pain and hurts alone. i share it with my bf. we are trying to work things out..Since she's in a relationship currently, perhaps she can try sharing it wif the current bf? with great encouragement and support from the loved ones will be a strong driving force. Life will brighten up too.. But girl haf to be determined to abandon the past first. All the best!
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That girl is totally normal. Sounds like u r describing my lovelife... Such past memories can never be forgotten. She has to learn to accept her past, not forget. Learn from her past, and never to repeat mistakes. One day, she will meet a guy who will help her forget about the pain she went thru. Someone who is able to make her love, trust and be happy again. She needs to let go of the fear of getting hurt. All the best to her in life... Relationships ain't everything. There are other things that can make u happy....Get a hobby, do something that interests u.Originally posted by ~.~:just wanna know if this is normal...
a short story...
since leaving a long term relationship, gal been getting into a few short lived relationships that left even more hurts and pains in her life. all these happen within a year and it had been the guys expressing interest first (ie, gal was not looking lah). now gal is with another and gal is very happy when with this guy. the relationship is still a young but she oready can see a future with this guy. problem is that hurts and pains from past relationships are still haunting her and still affects her quite badly. it causes her to be depressed and she keeps thinking abt why things go wrong, why the guys lied, etc. all these are affecting her current relationship and although she tries, she still can't get over the past. gal does not want the current relationship to be strained or worse, ended because she can't get over past hurts. gal wants very much to be able to stop this torment and be happy.
is it normal for her to be like this? would it be over soon? or is there something really wrong with the gal? -
thanks everyone for their advice..... i hope things do get better...
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dun worry lah, u hav Croco
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Actuaoly, we can ONLY symphatise, but only YOU can make yourself happy. The feelings you have may be normal, but if u don't want to spoil ur current relationship, find ways to do something about ur past hurts. Only u know what u can or cannot do. Good luckOriginally posted by DXuan:Girls give the good advice Guys only know how to console... lol -
i agrees...so better hold back ...in a better mode first.Originally posted by InnoHippo:But like that, damned unfair to the new guy who truly loves her
dun hurt somebody else -
can relate to how u feel ... cause i had the same experiences too. To forget the past, easier said than done..Originally posted by ~.~:just wanna know if this is normal...
a short story...
since leaving a long term relationship, gal been getting into a few short lived relationships that left even more hurts and pains in her life. all these happen within a year and it had been the guys expressing interest first (ie, gal was not looking lah). now gal is with another and gal is very happy when with this guy. the relationship is still a young but she oready can see a future with this guy. problem is that hurts and pains from past relationships are still haunting her and still affects her quite badly. it causes her to be depressed and she keeps thinking abt why things go wrong, why the guys lied, etc. all these are affecting her current relationship and although she tries, she still can't get over the past. gal does not want the current relationship to be strained or worse, ended because she can't get over past hurts. gal wants very much to be able to stop this torment and be happy.
is it normal for her to be like this? would it be over soon? or is there something really wrong with the gal?
It's like i am almost subconsciously self-sabotaging my present relationship due to the hurt & negative feelings from the previous. In fact my last relationship ended largely cause of that.
And that's why i am stayin single for now... Or as long as i still haven't overcome my personnal struggle. -
The past hurts, but eventually, u are the one who chooses to hold on to it, or to drop it. I learnt to drop it after a week or so, as I don't want to let my life come to a standstill. I'm happy to know that she managed to attain what she was aiming for. Too bad I can't be with her to share that happiness.
Keeping emotions under control is something we all need to learn, and the path might not be easy. But hey, life's never easy. -
is it normal for her to be like this?
it's normal. If she behave otherwise, then it's abnormal.
would it be over soon?
It depends. Girl gotta SLOWLY overcome the fear and give herself and the guy she loves a chance to try and let go of the past. Mustn't hide anything. Guy has to be there and always be very patient, caring and *understanding(*this is the most important). At times guy can play the role of a friend as well. That's where real test comes.
Love can kill but heal wonderfully and give something what we call - hope.