I feel so smart but...
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For a long time, I always feel, clumsy, idiotic and stupid in school but now that I am in Polytechnic, I feel so smart compared to my peers there. There are people from Express that failed 2 subjects, people studying in Normal Academic and even people studying in Normal Academic and got retained in my group. Compared to me they seemed like peanuts and I am peanuts compared to my smart friends in the past.
Everytime, when there is a test, I always finish it in a breeze while I look around to see those struggling. No, I am not looking down on them, I just wonder am I really that smart? Everyone in class seem to be looking up to me like I am a expert or something.
Yah, I should be happy and proud for myself but... I feel so miserable. Nope, it has nothing to do with that Kendo guy. This week, I been avoiding the whole group as much as I can. I assumed most of them think its because of that Kendo guy but its not. Its just my style to be alone just like in the past.
I am always usually alone when I was in Secondary School but I didn't feel so lost maybe because I have many friends there and even people I don't know that know me. To me friends are a burden to me and I am a burden to them. I like to be lonely, but I feel lonely alone. Whenever I am with friends, I think of things like they'll spoil my image, something like that. But when I am alone I long for a company.
In the past, whenever I wake up in the morning, I would have something to hope for when I go to school. For example, copying homework and "suaning" at others copying homework and most of all, I get to see her. Never got the chance with her anyway but now whatever I wake up, I feel so lost, so tired. Ya, ya, study for test blah, blah, blah. But there's just nothing to look forward to.
Something is missing but what? -
get a life?
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The only thing that you're missing is being yourself. And nothing else matters beyond that.
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can i know u? -
Don't get fooled by the name... I am a guy.Originally posted by 'm back:
can i know u?
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Mayb is the change in poly life tat u r not used to it ba...Originally posted by Ayukat:For a long time, I always feel, clumsy, idiotic and stupid in school but now that I am in Polytechnic, I feel so smart compared to my peers there. There are people from Express that failed 2 subjects, people studying in Normal Academic and even people studying in Normal Academic and got retained in my group. Compared to me they seemed like peanuts and I am peanuts compared to my smart friends in the past.
Everytime, when there is a test, I always finish it in a breeze while I look around to see those struggling. No, I am not looking down on them, I just wonder am I really that smart? Everyone in class seem to be looking up to me like I am a expert or something.
Yah, I should be happy and proud for myself but... I feel so miserable. Nope, it has nothing to do with that Kendo guy. This week, I been avoiding the whole group as much as I can. I assumed most of them think its because of that Kendo guy but its not. Its just my style to be alone just like in the past.
I am always usually alone when I was in Secondary School but I didn't feel so lost maybe because I have many friends there and even people I don't know that know me. To me friends are a burden to me and I am a burden to them. I like to be lonely, but I feel lonely alone. Whenever I am with friends, I think of things like they'll spoil my image, something like that. But when I am alone I long for a company.
In the past, whenever I wake up in the morning, I would have something to hope for when I go to school. For example, copying homework and "suaning" at others copying homework and most of all, I get to see her. Never got the chance with her anyway but now whatever I wake up, I feel so lost, so tired. Ya, ya, study for test blah, blah, blah. But there's just nothing to look forward to.
Something is missing but what?
For me is the exact opp... In sec school, very quiet, nev mixed around... come to poly then start to open up... -
The truth is I never opened up before, I remembered when I was in Primary School my teacher told me if I bottled up everything to myself I would explode one day but as of now, I don't see anyone in my class that can become a good friend of mine.Originally posted by ahkico:Mayb is the change in poly life tat u r not used to it ba...
For me is the exact opp... In sec school, very quiet, nev mixed around... come to poly then start to open up... -
I enjoyed poly and the classmates I have, they are not very cohesive, but somehow I find them to be pretty interesting. The subjects are pretty much easy for me too, but I just want to put in effort because I really regreted not putting effort into my studies for the past 9 years.Originally posted by Ayukat:For a long time, I always feel, clumsy, idiotic and stupid in school but now that I am in Polytechnic, I feel so smart compared to my peers there. There are people from Express that failed 2 subjects, people studying in Normal Academic and even people studying in Normal Academic and got retained in my group. Compared to me they seemed like peanuts and I am peanuts compared to my smart friends in the past.
Everytime, when there is a test, I always finish it in a breeze while I look around to see those struggling. No, I am not looking down on them, I just wonder am I really that smart? Everyone in class seem to be looking up to me like I am a expert or something.
Yah, I should be happy and proud for myself but... I feel so miserable. Nope, it has nothing to do with that Kendo guy. This week, I been avoiding the whole group as much as I can. I assumed most of them think its because of that Kendo guy but its not. Its just my style to be alone just like in the past.
I am always usually alone when I was in Secondary School but I didn't feel so lost maybe because I have many friends there and even people I don't know that know me. To me friends are a burden to me and I am a burden to them. I like to be lonely, but I feel lonely alone. Whenever I am with friends, I think of things like they'll spoil my image, something like that. But when I am alone I long for a company.
In the past, whenever I wake up in the morning, I would have something to hope for when I go to school. For example, copying homework and "suaning" at others copying homework and most of all, I get to see her. Never got the chance with her anyway but now whatever I wake up, I feel so lost, so tired. Ya, ya, study for test blah, blah, blah. But there's just nothing to look forward to.
Something is missing but what?
So I try hard to put in effort whenever I can, no matter how simple it seems to be, I just want to put in effort. I look forward to school is because I know that I already missed out a large portion of my schooldays and childhood, if I don't appreciate what I have now, I will never get it back ever again. Ever, I do not want to experience the same kind of emptiness again.
The thing you are missing is something in school to look forward to, I dunnoe what that can be for you but anything is better than wondering why are you so lonely and crap.
One thing is, don't compare yourself and others so strictly, everybody is more or less equal, we have our own weakness and strength. Your so called "image" is nothing more than mere illusions that will mean nothing in time to come.
My 2 cents, you should appreciate what you have now. -
no lah,Originally posted by Ayukat:Don't get fooled by the name... I am a guy.
i aso guy.
just jokin can be fren tok here mah -
r u acting out on something to hide some hidden feelings or soft spots in ur heart and emotions?Originally posted by Ayukat:For a long time, I always feel, clumsy, idiotic and stupid in school but now that I am in Polytechnic, I feel so smart compared to my peers there. There are people from Express that failed 2 subjects, people studying in Normal Academic and even people studying in Normal Academic and got retained in my group. Compared to me they seemed like peanuts and I am peanuts compared to my smart friends in the past.
Everytime, when there is a test, I always finish it in a breeze while I look around to see those struggling. No, I am not looking down on them, I just wonder am I really that smart? Everyone in class seem to be looking up to me like I am a expert or something.
Yah, I should be happy and proud for myself but... I feel so miserable. Nope, it has nothing to do with that Kendo guy. This week, I been avoiding the whole group as much as I can. I assumed most of them think its because of that Kendo guy but its not. Its just my style to be alone just like in the past.
I am always usually alone when I was in Secondary School but I didn't feel so lost maybe because I have many friends there and even people I don't know that know me. To me friends are a burden to me and I am a burden to them. I like to be lonely, but I feel lonely alone. Whenever I am with friends, I think of things like they'll spoil my image, something like that. But when I am alone I long for a company.
In the past, whenever I wake up in the morning, I would have something to hope for when I go to school. For example, copying homework and "suaning" at others copying homework and most of all, I get to see her. Never got the chance with her anyway but now whatever I wake up, I feel so lost, so tired. Ya, ya, study for test blah, blah, blah. But there's just nothing to look forward to.
Something is missing but what? -
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Hide what? Nothing to hide.Originally posted by wuming78:r u acting out on something to hide some hidden feelings or soft spots in ur heart and emotions? -
hm.. ok lah. hide is not a good word.Originally posted by Ayukat:Hide what? Nothing to hide.
what i had meant was that mabbe you should examine your own feelings and ask yourself why you are feeling this way - whether there are certain unresolved issues, emotional scars, bad memories, etc, that you are trying to avoid, perhaps even unconsciously - without your knowledge. it may sound ludicrous, but sometimes our minds make us do things but we may not know the real reason why we are doing it. it takes someone with very very high self-awareness to know himself totally, especially for guys.
of course, im just postulating. -
frankly speaking, u got a big problem...Originally posted by Ayukat:The truth is I never opened up before, I remembered when I was in Primary School my teacher told me if I bottled up everything to myself I would explode one day but as of now, I don't see anyone in my class that can become a good friend of mine.
when u don't wanna mix wif people, u think they wanna mix wif u?
if u don see anyone in class that can be a gd friend of yrs, u think u can be a good friend of them?
if u think u are clever, u won't be where u are now...
wake up boy... -
The word is shy...Originally posted by nemo77:frankly speaking, u got a big problem...
when u don't wanna mix wif people, u think they wanna mix wif u?
if u don see anyone in class that can be a gd friend of yrs, u think u can be a good friend of them?
if u think u are clever, u won't be where u are now...
wake up boy...
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If you put it that way, I been thinking everyday... since dunno when.Originally posted by wuming78:hm.. ok lah. hide is not a good word.
what i had meant was that mabbe you should examine your own feelings and ask yourself why you are feeling this way - whether there are certain unresolved issues, emotional scars, bad memories, etc, that you are trying to avoid, perhaps even unconsciously - without your knowledge. it may sound ludicrous, but sometimes our minds make us do things but we may not know the real reason why we are doing it. it takes someone with very very high self-awareness to know himself totally, especially for guys.
of course, im just postulating. -
that is good. continue on this habit of self reflection. it will increase ur self awareness and thus, ur sensitivity with people around u. this will certainly aid in ur relations with them.Originally posted by Ayukat:If you put it that way, I been thinking everyday... since dunno when. -
I think it made me worse actually...Originally posted by wuming78:that is good. continue on this habit of self reflection. it will increase ur self awareness and thus, ur sensitivity with people around u. this will certainly aid in ur relations with them. -
not self reflectionOriginally posted by wuming78:that is good. continue on this habit of self reflection. it will increase ur self awareness and thus, ur sensitivity with people around u. this will certainly aid in ur relations with them.
action... -
You are scare of people spoiling your image? Why not you think it the other way round...People scare you spoil their image...
Secondly, you are good in your current studies only shows you are mentally strong in that field...others may be slower in certain subjects but you cant judge whether you are smart or good just because of that...
You seriously need to make friends or else it wouldnt be good for your personal development..
Lastly, drop that 'shy' attitude or people will think you trying to 'kek sei' and you gonna fall even deeper -
LUCKY you, at least u dont need to slog so hard!! Find other things to do, since you should be able to cope w ur school works. Get a part-time job or pursue somethings u enjoy, learn new skills Etc ETC etc.Originally posted by Ayukat:For a long time, I always feel, clumsy, idiotic and stupid in school but now that I am in Polytechnic, I feel so smart compared to my peers there. There are people from Express that failed 2 subjects, people studying in Normal Academic and even people studying in Normal Academic and got retained in my group. Compared to me they seemed like peanuts and I am peanuts compared to my smart friends in the past.
Everytime, when there is a test, I always finish it in a breeze while I look around to see those struggling. No, I am not looking down on them, I just wonder am I really that smart? Everyone in class seem to be looking up to me like I am a expert or something
Yah, I should be happy and proud for myself but... I feel so miserable. Nope, it has nothing to do with that Kendo guy. This week, I been avoiding the whole group as much as I can. I assumed most of them think its because of that Kendo guy but its not. Its just my style to be alone just like in the past..
U need to find friends that u feel comfortable with. But then as long the frenship is true, why bother with mere appearance... dun be one of those shallow people. They didn't do anything wrong anyway, why scared what other people say? Some people got the "image" but personailty-wise nt v likeable.Originally posted by Ayukat:I am always usually alone when I was in Secondary School but I didn't feel so lost maybe because I have many friends there and even people I don't know that know me. To me friends are a burden to me and I am a burden to them. I like to be lonely, but I feel lonely alone. Whenever I am with friends, I think of things like they'll spoil my image, something like that. But when I am alone I long for a company.
Mmm... i think.... you already don't think well of them b4hand. Maybe that why u never open out to them. Some people can really surprise you once you get to know them. Ur classmates have their good and bad, just like everybody else in this world. Sometime we don't understand people but that doesn't mean that they are not good. Sometime, maybe we get so confused and feel distrustful of people; scared of being harmed etc. So some choose to walk away from a relationship. End up feeling left out?? lonely? Regret!
N u got good grades
U can try helping ur classmates who desperately need help in their works. Lend ur hand, nobody will reject it. It's a good start to make new friends.
and you mention u never really opened up before?
life will be darn lonely if you don't share with people.
Sometime, we may not even know who we really are cos' we lost touch of ourself. You need to find the inner your. sOUnd Zen hor. But i believe it's already inside you hor but u didnt go and develop it.
Dont lose faith. We can lose faith in something and then regain faith again. I guess it's quite normal to be confused now and then. So that why got lessons to learn in life mah to correct urself and why u not feeling happy.
Live your life and be happy! -
being humble and unselfish, know and focus what you really want.Originally posted by Ayukat:For a long time, I always feel, clumsy, idiotic and stupid in school but now that I am in Polytechnic, I feel so smart compared to my peers there. There are people from Express that failed 2 subjects, people studying in Normal Academic and even people studying in Normal Academic and got retained in my group. Compared to me they seemed like peanuts and I am peanuts compared to my smart friends in the past.
Everytime, when there is a test, I always finish it in a breeze while I look around to see those struggling. No, I am not looking down on them, I just wonder am I really that smart? Everyone in class seem to be looking up to me like I am a expert or something.
Yah, I should be happy and proud for myself but... I feel so miserable. Nope, it has nothing to do with that Kendo guy. This week, I been avoiding the whole group as much as I can. I assumed most of them think its because of that Kendo guy but its not. Its just my style to be alone just like in the past.
I am always usually alone when I was in Secondary School but I didn't feel so lost maybe because I have many friends there and even people I don't know that know me. To me friends are a burden to me and I am a burden to them. I like to be lonely, but I feel lonely alone. Whenever I am with friends, I think of things like they'll spoil my image, something like that. But when I am alone I long for a company.
In the past, whenever I wake up in the morning, I would have something to hope for when I go to school. For example, copying homework and "suaning" at others copying homework and most of all, I get to see her. Never got the chance with her anyway but now whatever I wake up, I feel so lost, so tired. Ya, ya, study for test blah, blah, blah. But there's just nothing to look forward to.
Something is missing but what? -
I think your ego is getting way too big. For ppl who have big egos, usually the only way is to greet them with the middle finger and tell them to wake up and realize that the world is not just about them.Originally posted by Ayukat:For a long time, I always feel, clumsy, idiotic and stupid in school but now that I am in Polytechnic, I feel so smart compared to my peers there. There are people from Express that failed 2 subjects, people studying in Normal Academic and even people studying in Normal Academic and got retained in my group. Compared to me they seemed like peanuts and I am peanuts compared to my smart friends in the past.
Everytime, when there is a test, I always finish it in a breeze while I look around to see those struggling. No, I am not looking down on them, I just wonder am I really that smart? Everyone in class seem to be looking up to me like I am a expert or something.
Yah, I should be happy and proud for myself but... I feel so miserable. Nope, it has nothing to do with that Kendo guy. This week, I been avoiding the whole group as much as I can. I assumed most of them think its because of that Kendo guy but its not. Its just my style to be alone just like in the past.
I am always usually alone when I was in Secondary School but I didn't feel so lost maybe because I have many friends there and even people I don't know that know me. To me friends are a burden to me and I am a burden to them. I like to be lonely, but I feel lonely alone. Whenever I am with friends, I think of things like they'll spoil my image, something like that. But when I am alone I long for a company.
In the past, whenever I wake up in the morning, I would have something to hope for when I go to school. For example, copying homework and "suaning" at others copying homework and most of all, I get to see her. Never got the chance with her anyway but now whatever I wake up, I feel so lost, so tired. Ya, ya, study for test blah, blah, blah. But there's just nothing to look forward to.
Something is missing but what? -
Erm, the suaning homework part hor... is I after copying finish I go suan others why you copy so slow...Originally posted by cooleo:I think your ego is getting way too big. For ppl who have big egos, usually the only way is to greet them with the middle finger and tell them to wake up and realize that the world is not just about them.