What should i do...
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Hello Girls and Guys,
I need your opinion in these trouble times. Me and my gf have been together for the past 6 month but we know each other like 3 years long.
Problem arise yesterday when she told me she want privacy and freedom. She say i care/love her too much until she cant feel freedom. She want to be alone sometimes when trouble. But sometimes when i let her to be alone she say i dun care for her or understand her problem.
IF i spent time with her : she feel stress sometimes
IF i seldom spent time with her(i give her freedom) : she feel i dun care at all.
Can somone advise me?
PS: Few days ago she asked me to help her distribute flyer. I manage somehow to distribute to about 600-800 house by myself. I didnt even complain a thing to her and do it willingly. But i dun feel she know how much effort i trying to put. -
She sensed possessiveness in you? Sometimes gals are really sensitive.. Give her the privacy and freedom if she wants.. but of cos.. dun be too lose on it.. when you are not with her.. drop her a nice sms.. it will be good.. You've done what you can.. is whether she knows how to aapreciate it anot.. Compormise with each other.. Talk about this issue.. dun keep quiet about it..Originally posted by ahmike:Hello Girls and Guys,
I need your opinion in these trouble times. Me and my gf have been together for the past 6 month but we know each other like 3 years long.
Problem arise yesterday when she told me she want privacy and freedom. She say i care/love her too much until she cant feel freedom. She want to be alone sometimes when trouble. But sometimes when i let her to be alone she say i dun care for her or understand her problem.
IF i spent time with her : she feel stress sometimes
IF i seldom spent time with her(i give her freedom) : she feel i dun care at all.
Can somone advise me?
PS: Few days ago she asked me to help her distribute flyer. I manage somehow to distribute to about 600-800 house by myself. I didnt even complain a thing to her and do it willingly. But i dun feel she know how much effort i trying to put.
Give both you and her some space to breathe.. if hold it too tight.. it will burst one day! If she knows how to appreciate you.. your effort won't be wasted.. 6 months together is rather short.. knowing each other for long doesn't mean you know each other very well or understand each other that well.. When are friends.. certain things you never know until you are involved in a r/s with her..
Gals are like that.. when you both are friends.. you late.. you make fun of her.. you do anything stupid or critise her in anyway.. or whatever it is.. maybe she will scold you.. or beat you or piseed with you.. but this all last for less than maybe 5 mins?? and they soon forget about it.. they wont put it in the heart.. but if you are the BF... then is a totally different issue.. right?? Temper, anger, unhappiness, blah blah.. all will show it out.. Even monor little things.. they can bring out and jus quarrel with you..
Don't let her ever feel that you are not by her side.. even though not physically.. but spiritually let her know that whatever happen.. you are still there for her.. Make her feel more secure.. More confidence in you and in r/s.. Trust is always needed.. and mUst be there.. Let the love grow..
Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
Cheer
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Sounds like you lack for a good foundation for 'friendship factor'?Originally posted by ahmike:Hello Girls and Guys,
I need your opinion in these trouble times. Me and my gf have been together for the past 6 month but we know each other like 3 years long.
Problem arise yesterday when she told me she want privacy and freedom. She say i care/love her too much until she cant feel freedom. She want to be alone sometimes when trouble. But sometimes when i let her to be alone she say i dun care for her or understand her problem.
IF i spent time with her : she feel stress sometimes
IF i seldom spent time with her(i give her freedom) : she feel i dun care at all.
Can somone advise me?
PS: Few days ago she asked me to help her distribute flyer. I manage somehow to distribute to about 600-800 house by myself. I didnt even complain a thing to her and do it willingly. But i dun feel she know how much effort i trying to put. -
I think you two have lack of r/s experience...Originally posted by ahmike:Hello Girls and Guys,
I need your opinion in these trouble times. Me and my gf have been together for the past 6 month but we know each other like 3 years long.
Problem arise yesterday when she told me she want privacy and freedom. She say i care/love her too much until she cant feel freedom. She want to be alone sometimes when trouble. But sometimes when i let her to be alone she say i dun care for her or understand her problem.
IF i spent time with her : she feel stress sometimes
IF i seldom spent time with her(i give her freedom) : she feel i dun care at all.
Can somone advise me?
PS: Few days ago she asked me to help her distribute flyer. I manage somehow to distribute to about 600-800 house by myself. I didnt even complain a thing to her and do it willingly. But i dun feel she know how much effort i trying to put.
Can you give a lil bit more details about your r/s problem? -
Give her the privacy and freedom she wants.. Don't feel that you are being "used" if you give her freedom and she comes to you when she needs you.. At times, loosen the rope and tighten it at times.. In a r/s, its like a see-saw.. Give and take.. But don always take.. Give at times..Originally posted by ahmike:Hello Girls and Guys,
I need your opinion in these trouble times. Me and my gf have been together for the past 6 month but we know each other like 3 years long.
Problem arise yesterday when she told me she want privacy and freedom. She say i care/love her too much until she cant feel freedom. She want to be alone sometimes when trouble. But sometimes when i let her to be alone she say i dun care for her or understand her problem.
IF i spent time with her : she feel stress sometimes
IF i seldom spent time with her(i give her freedom) : she feel i dun care at all.
Can somone advise me?
PS: Few days ago she asked me to help her distribute flyer. I manage somehow to distribute to about 600-800 house by myself. I didnt even complain a thing to her and do it willingly. But i dun feel she know how much effort i trying to put.
You as her bf.. should know when she need you by her side.. Be observant... When you feel that she needs to cool down, let her be.. When she has, approach her and lend her ur ears. Stressing in a r/s is NOT a solution.. It will make matters worst.
Distribute flyers is YOUR OWN WILL... You can always don do it.. If you are willing to do it, than you ought not to complain. -
Well thinks got out of hand when her ex bf called her. And she tends to compare me and him <- Can consider a problem. He was caring guy .....blah blah comparing between me and him.This make me feel jeolous of him.
They broke up bcos she dun love him although he care for her. But lately she feel that i dun care enough loh....So when i learn that i tried to improve myself treat her better. Things went well for few weeks. But then she still compare with me and him.
The feeling is like u know? I got improve myself but she never notice it. Her family also notice that i done lots of things for her.
About the flyer, i do it bcos its my responsibilities also as a bf to ease my gf work load. I where got heart to let her go to house to house to distribute it. I dun have the heart to reject if i also can lah...
Im currently the no. 6th bf. Her past relationship was quite bad. she got lots of ex bf with flower hearts. And her hearts now she dun really have the commitment to r/s that much.
Action Taken now...
1) Bcos we just argue i will let her cool down and approach her later.(i still got send my thoughts to her by sms for just today and explain to her why i trying to over care for her )
2)Finding out my weakness and to correct it if possible. (I dun smoke or got night life style).
PS: Thanks guys for hearing my problem. After talking this out i feel got warmth feeling . B4 this my life went up in hell for nearly 24 hours. Its is really torture. -
She's feeling inferior due to the past r/s.. And insercurity too.. she might think or feel that this r/s will also end like the rest she had before.. make her realised your existence.. let her feel secure being with you.. build up her confidence in this r/s and also trust!!! That's why she comparing!!Originally posted by ahmike:Well thinks got out of hand when her ex bf called her. And she tends to compare me and him <- Can consider a problem. He was caring guy .....blah blah comparing between me and him.This make me feel jeolous of him.
They broke up bcos she dun love him although he care for her. But lately she feel that i dun care enough loh....So when i learn that i tried to improve myself treat her better. Things went well for few weeks. But then she still compare with me and him.
The feeling is like u know? I got improve myself but she never notice it. Her family also notice that i done lots of things for her.
About the flyer, i do it bcos its my responsibilities also as a bf to ease my gf work load. I where got heart to let her go to house to house to distribute it. I dun have the heart to reject if i also can lah...
Im currently the no. 6th bf. Her past relationship was quite bad. she got lots of ex bf with flower hearts. And her hearts now she dun really have the commitment to r/s that much.
Action Taken now...
1) Bcos we just argue i will let her cool down and approach her later.(i still got send my thoughts to her by sms for just today and explain to her why i trying to over care for her )
2)Finding out my weakness and to correct it if possible. (I dun smoke or got night life style).
PS: Thanks guys for hearing my problem. After talking this out i feel got warmth feeling . B4 this my life went up in hell for nearly 24 hours. Its is really torture.
Why compare?? this is between you and her.. if the guy is so good.. then why in the 1st place she left him?? She has been thru so many sh|tty r/s in her life.. but how much has she learnt?? If she's mature enough.. these kind of comparison is childish.. I dunno how old are both of you.. but if you are still young.. then you jus have to learn.. this is part of your karmic life..
Dun explain or solved anything thru SMS.. is the worst solution! Face-to-face talk would be better.. at least you get to see her expressions and body language.. SMS sometimes can be read differently by different ppl.. you may not sound harsh or wat.. by when the other party read.. she/he may think that you are being too harsh.. or something like tat.. Ppl tend to interpret wrongly in their SMS.. these happen very often..
Cheers -
Thanks guys for the support and advice...I truly love her very much. But i think i need to find strength now to break it up. I don't want to see her that much pain just to be with anymore.
It not i wanted to be like that in the 1st place... -
Originally posted by ahmike:Well thinks got out of hand when her ex bf called her. And she tends to compare me and him <- Can consider a problem. He was caring guy .....blah blah comparing between me and him.This make me feel jeolous of him.
They broke up bcos she dun love him although he care for her. But lately she feel that i dun care enough loh....So when i learn that i tried to improve myself treat her better. Things went well for few weeks. But then she still compare with me and him.
The feeling is like u know? I got improve myself but she never notice it. Her family also notice that i done lots of things for her.
About the flyer, i do it bcos its my responsibilities also as a bf to ease my gf work load. I where got heart to let her go to house to house to distribute it. I dun have the heart to reject if i also can lah...
Im currently the no. 6th bf. Her past relationship was quite bad. she got lots of ex bf with flower hearts. And her hearts now she dun really have the commitment to r/s that much.
Action Taken now...
1) Bcos we just argue i will let her cool down and approach her later.(i still got send my thoughts to her by sms for just today and explain to her why i trying to over care for her )
2)Finding out my weakness and to correct it if possible. (I dun smoke or got night life style).
PS: Thanks guys for hearing my problem. After talking this out i feel got warmth feeling . B4 this my life went up in hell for nearly 24 hours. Its is really torture. Comparison - who is not gulity of it? The question is whether you compare it discreetly or openly. Seriously, by comparing partners to partners, it would unneccessary issue to the relationship, especially when we are suppose to know the actual person itself and not fit your partner in a measurement carved by our previous love.
There is no point trying to upkeep an image where you have to fit 5 person's strength - namely her ex-bf. In this way, she will never be contented with any of her current relationship unless reality slap hard into her face when the TO DO list in a relationship is to get to understand the unique individuals of each person and to handle them in a way BEST for the relationship to breathe.
Of course, she demands space and attention simultaneously - one of her ex gave her space and the another shower attention. Then you how? Die lar?
P.S: You may want to have a private talk with one another to see where she plans to move from here.
Cheers -
~Spins...~ "The world goes round..." -
Yeah and it crash and burn someday...bummerOriginally posted by Devil1976: ~Spins...~ "The world goes round..." -
Whatever ya say... Both of you are not suitable for this relationship....Originally posted by ahmike:Yeah and it crash and burn someday...bummer -
Whenever you do ANYTHING for lasses, you gotta let them SEE you do it, you can't say you did it (even if you really did it). If the situation is always YOU going to her all the time for this so called "love", its time to back off and let her COME TO YOU. Its like playing tug of war.Originally posted by ahmike:Hello Girls and Guys,
I need your opinion in these trouble times. Me and my gf have been together for the past 6 month but we know each other like 3 years long.
Problem arise yesterday when she told me she want privacy and freedom. She say i care/love her too much until she cant feel freedom. She want to be alone sometimes when trouble. But sometimes when i let her to be alone she say i dun care for her or understand her problem.
IF i spent time with her : she feel stress sometimes
IF i seldom spent time with her(i give her freedom) : she feel i dun care at all.
Can somone advise me?
PS: Few days ago she asked me to help her distribute flyer. I manage somehow to distribute to about 600-800 house by myself. I didnt even complain a thing to her and do it willingly. But i dun feel she know how much effort i trying to put. -
Sounds like SHE"s the one with the problem. WHy do you still love her then? What's the motivation of your love then Ahmike?Originally posted by ahmike:Well thinks got out of hand when her ex bf called her. And she tends to compare me and him <- Can consider a problem. He was caring guy .....blah blah comparing between me and him.This make me feel jeolous of him.
They broke up bcos she dun love him although he care for her. But lately she feel that i dun care enough loh....So when i learn that i tried to improve myself treat her better. Things went well for few weeks. But then she still compare with me and him.
The feeling is like u know? I got improve myself but she never notice it. Her family also notice that i done lots of things for her.
About the flyer, i do it bcos its my responsibilities also as a bf to ease my gf work load. I where got heart to let her go to house to house to distribute it. I dun have the heart to reject if i also can lah...
Im currently the no. 6th bf. Her past relationship was quite bad. she got lots of ex bf with flower hearts. And her hearts now she dun really have the commitment to r/s that much.
Action Taken now...
1) Bcos we just argue i will let her cool down and approach her later.(i still got send my thoughts to her by sms for just today and explain to her why i trying to over care for her )
2)Finding out my weakness and to correct it if possible. (I dun smoke or got night life style).
PS: Thanks guys for hearing my problem. After talking this out i feel got warmth feeling . B4 this my life went up in hell for nearly 24 hours. Its is really torture.
If the 2 of you are not OFFICIALLY attached, you might want to consider having multiple female friends, that way your never dissappointed. -
OFFICIALLY attached yeah...but soon officially going to break up also.... i let her cool down for now. I don't planning to make things worst.Originally posted by men_@_arms:Sounds like SHE"s the one with the problem. WHy do you still love her then? What's the motivation of your love then Ahmike?
If the 2 of you are not OFFICIALLY attached, you might want to consider having multiple female friends, that way your never dissappointed.
Time to play tug-o-war i guess....