i feel that i have betrayed her trust...
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she rejected me by saying "she does not want the friendship to be affected"
after a few weeks of calming down, we started messaging each other and meeting up again, as if she does not know that i like her or nothing actually happened. in fact, i feel that we are spending more time together and both of us are now even closer than ever after the confession.
i feel that she trusted me (since she told me how she feels abt me and i shld have understood) which is probably why we got closer than ever. however i still like her and even though i enjoy her company very much, i really feel that i'm betraying her trust in me.
i guess it's impossible between us since she made herself clear but i cant turn off my feelings like a switch! what should i do??
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Originally posted by simulacrum:she rejected me by saying "she does not want the friendship to be affected"
after a few weeks of calming down, we started messaging each other and meeting up again, as if she does not know that i like her or nothing actually happened. in fact, i feel that we are spending more time together and both of us are now even closer than ever after the confession.
i feel that she trusted me (since she told me how she feels abt me and i shld have understood) which is probably why we got closer than ever. however i still like her and even though i enjoy her company very much, i really feel that i'm betraying her trust in me.
i guess it's impossible between us since she made herself clear but i cant turn off my feelings like a switch! what should i do?? 
This is a classic case of rejecting a lover, but welcoming a good friend. If you truely can't accept the fact that you will be wasting your time pursuing a relationship from this, avoid hanging too much around her. Because she has no feelings for you, its simple for her to do that - but for your case, if your emotions can't handle it, avoid putting yourself in situation where you can't control.
But of course, if I was you, its unneccessary for me to do that because I was forged in such a way that it wouldn't be affected much. So eventually, it boils down to yourself... your preception... your emotional structure... and your mental capability.
Cheers -
i don't quite understand this...
i would loathe to lose her..both as a friend or or as a partnerOriginally posted by Yunhaier:But of course, if I was you, its unneccessary for me to do that because I was forged in such a way that it wouldn't be affected much.
it's really like in comfort zone when i'm with her: juz feel so much at ease and since i like her, this shldnt really be surprising. and i do not deny deep down i still hope that things can work out after we know each other better through these times of being together..
i thought of telling her straight in the face that i still like her and but i think it's redundant since she made herself clear but i do not wish to continue betraying her trust. should i simply keep a distance from her on my part or should i tell her how i feel? -
why do u say u betraying her trust? u promised her u will stop loving her ah?
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i feel that she is willing to continue going out with me because she thinks that since she had already told me how she felt , i will be able to treat her as a normal friend aka i think she trusts me as a normal friendOriginally posted by Axelheat755:why do u say u betraying her trust? u promised her u will stop loving her ah?
but right now i seem to be betraying this trust...
n i will never promise to stop liking her because i never give a promise which i cannot fulfil... -
simulacrum, if you really like her...then if having her in your life is necessary for you to be happy. I would encourage you to continue to like her as long as your heart permits. But you must eventually realise that you cannot force a person to like you for who you are. The person must be willing to accept you for who you are first before even considering to like you.
In my opinion, you are not betraying her trust. If you like her means you like her. There is no need for you to deny your feelings for her, that would be lying to yourself and you will feel worse about it. Instead, like her in the way that she can accept and of course if liking her is what will make you a happy person...then go ahead and do it.
If she eventually realised and begins to appreciate you for your efforts on her, then it is a bonus for you. If she doesn't appreciates or realised it, then at least you are doing something that is true to your heart and feelings. Either way, you will end up making yourself happy if you know that she is happy.
Forget about the future pain that you might experience, it is never going to help to make you a happier person anyway. If in any period in your life that you are faced with options, always choose the one which can make you feel happiest.
Good luck. -
thanks for the reply. because i like her, the last thing i want is to build my happiness on her unhappiness(of being together with me)...i'm not noble but i aint that selfish eitherOriginally posted by parn:simulacrum, if you really like her...then if having her in your life is necessary for you to be happy. I would encourage you to continue to like her as long as your heart permits. But you must eventually realise that you cannot force a person to like you for who you are. The person must be willing to accept you for who you are first before even considering to like you.
In my opinion, you are not betraying her trust. If you like her means you like her. There is no need for you to deny your feelings for her, that would be lying to yourself and you will feel worse about it. Instead, like her in the way that she can accept and of course if liking her is what will make you a happy person...then go ahead and do it.
If she eventually realised and begins to appreciate you for your efforts on her, then it is a bonus for you. If she doesn't appreciates or realised it, then at least you are doing something that is true to your heart and feelings. Either way, you will end up making yourself happy if you know that she is happy.
Forget about the future pain that you might experience, it is never going to help to make you a happier person anyway. If in any period in your life that you are faced with options, always choose the one which can make you feel happiest.
Good luck.
i want her to be happy but if she can be happier without me then it's also something i will force myself to accept -
don't waste ur time. get to know other girls and spend less time with this one. some young people (both guys and gals) may not know what they want til they realise they misses the other. if she does not feel for u even then, she simply does not share ur feelings and u can moves on. its not to test her, just so both if u can sort out ur feelings quickly.
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LOVE her... As a FRIEND.. In ALMOST EVERY WAY... It should PAY OFF... One way or another...Originally posted by simulacrum:i feel that she is willing to continue going out with me because she thinks that since she had already told me how she felt , i will be able to treat her as a normal friend aka i think she trusts me as a normal friend
but right now i seem to be betraying this trust...
n i will never promise to stop liking her because i never give a promise which i cannot fulfil...
PS. BGR is not necessarily is the best gift you can give to a girl you love. -
Stay as a friend but don't get too close. For example, I am still friend with a girl who rejected me. When we do goes out its usually as a group and I become rather passive in interracting her. I usually try getting a mutual friend to contact her for any events and I cut short any phonecall or sms session with her. We are still in contact but not too frequent and usually brief.
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does that mean you will ignore her if she asks you out? or you will keep communication to the minimum when she calls/sms u?Originally posted by pete98:Stay as a friend but don't get too close. For example, I am still friend with a girl who rejected me. When we do goes out its usually as a group and I become rather passive in interracting her. I usually try getting a mutual friend to contact her for any events and I cut short any phonecall or sms session with her. We are still in contact but not too frequent and usually brief.
i really do not wish that things between us would come to such a position because apart from the title of "friends" linking between us, nothing in this relationship represents that of what should be between friends.. -
Originally posted by simulacrum:(I) i don't quite understand this...
(II) i would loathe to lose her..both as a friend or or as a partner
it's really like in comfort zone when i'm with her: juz feel so much at ease and since i like her, this shldnt really be surprising. and i do not deny deep down i still hope that things can work out after we know each other better through these times of being together..
i thought of telling her straight in the face that i still like her and but i think it's redundant since she made herself clear but i do not wish to continue betraying her trust. should i simply keep a distance from her on my part or should i tell her how i feel? What I mean was what Devil had mentioned: 'BGR is not necessarily is the best gift you can give to a girl you love.' I am able to maintain good friend and stay where I am if that's what I wanted.' The question is if you can't achieve the above - you can only have one choice among the two.
In love, very often, there isn't much win-win solution. We often have to sacrifice the other option if we can't handle them. Can you take it? - to prevent yourself from sinking into a friendship cum love tombstone. (One unorthodox option is to employ Art of Seduction, however don't ask me how you do it).
Cheers -
You ah.. tell ppl to employ then ask them dun ask you how to do it.. then dun say lah! make ppl hanging in the air...Originally posted by Yunhaier: What I mean was what Devil had mentioned: 'BGR is not necessarily is the best gift you can give to a girl you love.' I am able to maintain good friend and stay where I am if that's what I wanted.' The question is if you can't achieve the above - you can only have one choice among the two.
In love, very often, there isn't much win-win solution. We often have to sacrifice the other option if we can't handle them. Can you take it? - to prevent yourself from sinking into a friendship cum love tombstone. (One unorthodox option is to employ Art of Seduction, however don't ask me how you do it).
Cheers
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Originally posted by SunRisE:You ah.. tell ppl to employ then ask them dun ask you how to do it.. then dun say lah! make ppl hanging in the air... I din tell him to use it - I only said it is a possible option. And the reason is because I am not him; I don't even understand his strength, weakness, his partner, his inner and outer enviro. Such element is mainly self discovery.
Cheers -
If i truly like a girl. I won't use Seduction too.Originally posted by SunRisE:You ah.. tell ppl to employ then ask them dun ask you how to do it.. then dun say lah! make ppl hanging in the air... -
enjoy this wayOriginally posted by simulacrum:she rejected me by saying "she does not want the friendship to be affected"
after a few weeks of calming down, we started messaging each other and meeting up again, as if she does not know that i like her or nothing actually happened. in fact, i feel that we are spending more time together and both of us are now even closer than ever after the confession.
i feel that she trusted me (since she told me how she feels abt me and i shld have understood) which is probably why we got closer than ever. however i still like her and even though i enjoy her company very much, i really feel that i'm betraying her trust in me.
i guess it's impossible between us since she made herself clear but i cant turn off my feelings like a switch! what should i do?? -
then dun mention.. if i'm the one posting.. i sure pester you to tell what you trying to say!Originally posted by Yunhaier: I din tell him to use it - I only said it is a possible option. And the reason is because I am not him; I don't even understand his strength, weakness, his partner, his inner and outer enviro. Such element is mainly self discovery.
Cheers
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maybe if you did use, you also dunno mah.. there are so many elements to it.. hehehheOriginally posted by M©+square:If i truly like a girl. I won't use Seduction too. -
you mean just let things remain the way they are?Originally posted by michelle79:enjoy this way
are you speaking from a viewpoint of a gal or a neutral party? -
Just stay as frens.....
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MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAA. Zhun bo?Originally posted by M©+square:If i truly like a girl. I won't use Seduction too. 
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Originally posted by SunRisE:then dun mention.. if i'm the one posting.. i sure pester you to tell what you trying to say! CAUSE THAT'S YOU!!!
Muahahhahahahahahhahahhaa!
Cheers