what to do? how to handle?
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hi people, i think i have a problem and i would like to ask for advice from u guys. I am a 21 yrs old Uni male student n had not been in a relationship in my entire life... in Uni i meet upon a girl whom was my pri sch friend and net chat mate all these years.. She is attached to her bf for abt 3 yrs already. I am a rather introverted guy and also not good in sianing gals nor do i have good looks at all.. some how i am rather withdrawn in my socialisation skills i think ( dun realli have much friends including females)... initially we were good friends and i can realli tok well with her easily... starting to be better friends but then i now realise i some times do think of her when i dun see her and i somehow have the urge to call or sms her at times.. i dun no whether is it that i have started to like her or not.. its realli confusing n causing me distractions in studies.. i know that chasing her is fruitless and i would not want to be a 3rd party to spoil their 3 year love relationship.. up till now i had relatively contained myself and we are still friends n i dun think she knows that i am starting to like her.. i am scared that i will sink further n further....
can u people please help or give me some advice as to how do i handle this situation???
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go out and meet other people!
even if it's hard, try to socialise.. force yourself to if you have to...
a good start would be to go to these outings the forum organises..
if you can, today (saturday) at sentosa!
go meet us!
expand your social circle!
mayhap, you'll meet someone who will steal your heart... -
agrees totally with the yellow bear
NEVER NEVER EVER be the 3rd party in the relationship...
you are still young at 21, why the hurry to get into relationship?
enjoys yr singlehood while u can, sooner or later in yr life u will meet yr other half...
cheers -
Just open up yourself and smile more. Be friendly, and naturally, people will talk to you. Just be yourself, and don't think so much when you want to make friends.
Regarding this girl... well, she is attached. More or less, I think why you are feeling this way towards her might be because she is one of the few girls that you can really talk and communicate to. So there is a high chance that it might be just mere infactuation.
Keep a clear mind, focus and tell yourself that she is just a friend. And she is the beginning of more friendships that has yet to come for you.
Just concentrate, and study hard. Be happy, be cheerful, and friends will come. About the rest, time will tell. -
dun rush urself for relationship... tink u got crush for her jz bcos shes the onli female u socio wif... so u need to go make more frens n more gals frens, if u duno where to start, ask tat gal intro u to her frens lor... but keep ur concentration on studies more important...Originally posted by c2on2:hi people, i think i have a problem and i would like to ask for advice from u guys. I am a 21 yrs old Uni male student n had not been in a relationship in my entire life... in Uni i meet upon a girl whom was my pri sch friend and net chat mate all these years.. She is attached to her bf for abt 3 yrs already. I am a rather introverted guy and also not good in sianing gals nor do i have good looks at all.. some how i am rather withdrawn in my socialisation skills i think ( dun realli have much friends including females)... initially we were good friends and i can realli tok well with her easily... starting to be better friends but then i now realise i some times do think of her when i dun see her and i somehow have the urge to call or sms her at times.. i dun no whether is it that i have started to like her or not.. its realli confusing n causing me distractions in studies.. i know that chasing her is fruitless and i would not want to be a 3rd party to spoil their 3 year love relationship.. up till now i had relatively contained myself and we are still friends n i dun think she knows that i am starting to like her.. i am scared that i will sink further n further....
can u people please help or give me some advice as to how do i handle this situation??? -
aniwae i was given a traumatising and scary experience when i was a young teenager at 14... was molested by a homosexual... seems to have some effects on me n my life .... realli hated this emotion scar and sometimes wonder if it alters myself in terms of personality n attitudes.... haizz...
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Do u have other female frens?
Go out and make more frens la...
You might like her coz she is the only female fren who can clique with u well.. -
c2on2,
We sometimes do mistaken this type of different gender friendship for something else. it's up to us not to have such wild thoughts. We need to evaluate them from time to time. Besides having a heart, there's why we have a head on our shoulders.
We search out friends based on our emotional needs.
She may just wanna to know one more guy friend, being attached does not mean having no guy friends. That would be boring.
She may need alternate points of view from other guys instead of her bf.
And find u to be safe and comfortable to be with.
Or both of u shared some common interests and thinking and somhow u guys connects. But that does not mean she and her bf does not connects, just that it is on a different frequency.
How about you? What's your needs? What's that u want?
If you are looking for a r/s, better look elsewhere. That's my advice. -
Whatever's your past, this matter apart... Should be quite obviously probably be a fruitless chase... If you know what's good for your friendship then better treasure it by making the right choices and decisions...Originally posted by c2on2:aniwae i was given a traumatising and scary experience when i was a young teenager at 14... was molested by a homosexual... seems to have some effects on me n my life .... realli hated this emotion scar and sometimes wonder if it alters myself in terms of personality n attitudes.... haizz... -
come to the sentosa outing on 11 sept...
we're all friendly people
and the girls are pretty and friendly too
but seriously.. do try to widen your social circle... with that experience, i figure you may need to learn to trust again... and we, the mob at sentosa, are not going to bite!
go cycling or blading, enjoy a game of beach soccer or volleyball, or if not sports-inclined, a quiet game of daidee with the daidee clan...
most of all, what i'm trying to say is to meet more people.. the more people you meet, the more confidence you will have that some people out there are nice people and will willingly be your friend -
Originally posted by c2on2:hi people, i think i have a problem and i would like to ask for advice from u guys. I am a 21 yrs old Uni male student n had not been in a relationship in my entire life... in Uni i meet upon a girl whom was my pri sch friend and net chat mate all these years.. She is attached to her bf for abt 3 yrs already. I am a rather introverted guy and also not good in sianing gals nor do i have good looks at all.. some how i am rather withdrawn in my socialisation skills i think ( dun realli have much friends including females)... initially we were good friends and i can realli tok well with her easily... starting to be better friends but then i now realise i some times do think of her when i dun see her and i somehow have the urge to call or sms her at times.. i dun no whether is it that i have started to like her or not.. its realli confusing n causing me distractions in studies.. i know that chasing her is fruitless and i would not want to be a 3rd party to spoil their 3 year love relationship.. up till now i had relatively contained myself and we are still friends n i dun think she knows that i am starting to like her.. i am scared that i will sink further n further....
can u people please help or give me some advice as to how do i handle this situation??? 
When you do question your intention - in fact, what you fear... it is. You have a crush on her, but by the look of it, she merely only sees you as a friend, and probably a causal one. You fell for her because the communication part is not a problem, which made you deepen this relationship to a good one and it seemed like there are something MORE than what it seems.
You are now near to the crossroad, but not exactly a point where you need to make immediate decision to steer your course. One good move is to continue your life and still continue to be friends with her - In another words the same old you and her as usual.
Cheers -
Errrr sept 11. U really sure that is safe?Originally posted by the Bear:come to the sentosa outing on 11 sept...
we're all friendly people
and the girls are pretty and friendly too
but seriously.. do try to widen your social circle... with that experience, i figure you may need to learn to trust again... and we, the mob at sentosa, are not going to bite!
go cycling or blading, enjoy a game of beach soccer or volleyball, or if not sports-inclined, a quiet game of daidee with the daidee clan...
most of all, what i'm trying to say is to meet more people.. the more people you meet, the more confidence you will have that some people out there are nice people and will willingly be your friend -
hihi, u mention tat u do not have much frds include female, therefore u tend to "like" her as she may the one tat u can chat v.well, thk tat if tat is a guy, u wil not hav this feeling rite..i suggest u shld go n know more ppl, since she's attached for so long liao, forget abt her..jus remained as gd frds