past hurts and its effects.... :(
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some pple carry past hurts from relationships into the current one. whether it's done consciously or not, it would still have impact on the r/s.
for those who had/have such partners:
how did these hurts affect your r/s? how u handle it? did u know abt these hurts before or after getting together? if u know before getting together, why get together? if after then know, did u decide to stay or leave or wat did u do? was it worth it in the end?
for those who had carried/are carrying past hurts into new r/s: how did these hurts affect your r/s? how u handle it? in what way would u like to be supported and understood? do u use the r/s as a re-bounce? why get into a r/s when u are still hurting? -
hmm... never experience this before... but if one is still hurt or pretty much buried in the past relationship, he or she should not start a new relationship.
But seriously... if one do not want to move on, how is he/she gonna see how beautiful his future is gonna be like? Someone might be waiting ... -
i usually wait a while before i go into a new r/s..otherwise wun be fair for both me and the other party cos i will bring in all the pain into the new r/s...i will never use a r/s as a rebound cos in the end it will only hurt both parties more...Originally posted by the_don:some pple carry past hurts from relationships into the current one. whether it's done consciously or not, it would still have impact on the r/s.
for those who had/have such partners: how did these hurts affect your r/s? how u handle it? did u know abt these hurts before or after getting together? if u know before getting together, why get together? if after then know, did u decide to stay or leave or wat did u do? was it worth it in the end?
for those who had carried/are carrying past hurts into new r/s: how did these hurts affect your r/s? how u handle it? in what way would u like to be supported and understood? do u use the r/s as a re-bounce? why get into a r/s when u are still hurting?
i.c.y -
haha i love this. My doc has asked me to relate this so many times. Anywayz:Originally posted by the_don:some pple carry past hurts from relationships into the current one. whether it's done consciously or not, it would still have impact on the r/s.
for those who had/have such partners: how did these hurts affect your r/s? how u handle it? did u know abt these hurts before or after getting together? if u know before getting together, why get together? if after then know, did u decide to stay or leave or wat did u do? was it worth it in the end?
for those who had carried/are carrying past hurts into new r/s: how did these hurts affect your r/s? how u handle it? in what way would u like to be supported and understood? do u use the r/s as a re-bounce? why get into a r/s when u are still hurting?
1st and only gf and me was nice and mushy etc, moved to SG while she remained in Indonesia, years later met up again and got together, only she changed, became kinda nazish, maybe she was always like that but i didn't know, she hung out with nazish friends, white supremist. Anywayz, they found out i was half chinese, started falling out with me, i wasn't aware of this ofcourse, they didn't openly tell me until i went to see her to straighten things out.
So when i went there, she told me how impure i was etc etc, then had our friends beat me up to make me "stay away". I never knew about tis, i found out the hard way.
According to my shrink doc, this failed rs has led to me developing some kind of inferiority complex and introversion. Now i more uneasy about interracial relationships. so now i want someone who will accept me as a friend and possibly more than a friend, but its very hard to find such people. Apparently i am now oversensitive about my ethnicity and all because of that rs. -
Good advice by your doc...Originally posted by men_@_arms:haha i love this. My doc has asked me to relate this so many times. Anywayz:
1st and only gf and me was nice and mushy etc, moved to SG while she remained in Indonesia, years later met up again and got together, only she changed, became kinda nazish, maybe she was always like that but i didn't know, she hung out with nazish friends, white supremist. Anywayz, they found out i was half chinese, started falling out with me, i wasn't aware of this ofcourse, they didn't openly tell me until i went to see her to straighten things out.
So when i went there, she told me how impure i was etc etc, then had our friends beat me up to make me "stay away". I never knew about tis, i found out the hard way.
According to my shrink doc, this failed rs has led to me developing some kind of inferiority complex and introversion. Now i more uneasy about interracial relationships. so now i want someone who will accept me as a friend and possibly more than a friend, but its very hard to find such people. Apparently i am now oversensitive about my ethnicity and all because of that rs.
You're probably right about the last part.. But still, you probably can CHOOSE to live a life the way you want to... If it's not too much you're asking for... Though it might not be easy.. But probably not impossible...
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Past relationship's hurt or other problems.. I don't believe in discarding a partner when she's in sh|t... Unless circumstances really don't allow us to be together?Originally posted by the_don:some pple carry past hurts from relationships into the current one. whether it's done consciously or not, it would still have impact on the r/s.
for those who had/have such partners: how did these hurts affect your r/s? how u handle it? did u know abt these hurts before or after getting together? if u know before getting together, why get together? if after then know, did u decide to stay or leave or wat did u do? was it worth it in the end?
for those who had carried/are carrying past hurts into new r/s: how did these hurts affect your r/s? how u handle it? in what way would u like to be supported and understood? do u use the r/s as a re-bounce? why get into a r/s when u are still hurting?
Though I know that alot of people would say they should 'choose' to let go of their past.. But it's never really an easy process... Just as much as I would often ask people to 'get out of it'... Choice.. At least a start... Often is only the beginning... That's when 'effects' of the relationship comes in... In a healthy relationship, the other party should be able to at least to a certain extent... Console or smoothen his / her partner...
Well.. At least that's what I would believe? -
Originally posted by the_don:some pple carry past hurts from relationships into the current one. whether it's done consciously or not, it would still have impact on the r/s.
for those who had/have such partners: how did these hurts affect your r/s? how u handle it? did u know abt these hurts before or after getting together? if u know before getting together, why get together? if after then know, did u decide to stay or leave or wat did u do? was it worth it in the end?
for those who had carried/are carrying past hurts into new r/s: how did these hurts affect your r/s? how u handle it? in what way would u like to be supported and understood? do u use the r/s as a re-bounce? why get into a r/s when u are still hurting? Grow from past hurts and learn to became demi-invincible.
P.S: If you let past hurts hook you and draw you back, you will be fearful of the future.
Cheers -
survive the worst of it...
learn to live with it...
learn from it...
heal...
introspection.. to figure out things.. to see if you have fully healed...
if you have learnt, you have become stronger!
go out and find your love!