Help on this scenario..

• risou

  3 Sep 04, 22:15

  Who: Guy A, Girl B (both studying, early 20s)
  
  How long: A knows B for almost a month now.
  
  What:
  - A and B taking similar mods, B usually with a group of her gal-frens in classes
  - mode of contact so far: sms bcoz B rarely online. A the initiator, B replies most of the time. Not just idle chat though..
  - both don't have any ecas/ccas/etc
  - B graduating mid-2005, A is a yr later.
  
  How:
  - ways for A to get to know B better? But at the same time not wanting to appear so 'aggressive/imposing/etc'
  
  Any comments will be appreciated..
• browniebaobao

  3 Sep 04, 22:19

  Have lunch together, chat over lunch etc lor..
  
  And you are like analyzing maths questions liddat..
• risou

  3 Sep 04, 22:28

  Originally posted by browniebaobao:

  Have lunch together, chat over lunch etc lor..
  
  And you are like analyzing maths questions liddat..

  haha, sorry about that. Just wanted to make it easier to see the facts, instead of 1 long paragraph..
  
  B and her group are like, close frens.. so it's like they are usually together. Need to brainstorm..haha.. A is a little shy (not gu niang or what, just feel awkward)
• MyNickisZ

  3 Sep 04, 23:34

  well juz sms "im bored lets go n haf dinner"
• theskyisthelimit

  3 Sep 04, 23:45

  have lunch in sch together.
  
  ask her out for a movie.
  
  communicate with her whenever there's a chance.
  
  gd luck!
• 101wish

  4 Sep 04, 01:15

  A,B, A,B--- read liao abit confusing at 1st, hahaha..well, since both of u same coz, u can use the excuse for discussing homework or assignment lor, then followed by dinner, u can offer to send her back, aiyo, no need to teach u all these rite, talking over phone maybe jus starting off, u say u always the one to initiate sms, but u seem to be interested in her, so not wrong tat u tak 1st move rite n gals normally quite shy abt it too, ask her out 1st, if she din rej, at least it is a gd beginning, if she rej ,then u get to worry more , ok !!!
• risou

  4 Sep 04, 01:30

  thanks..
  
  time seems to pass by slowly when you don't want it to...hehe.
  
  i feel bad about her using so many sms though... just chat about something.. then there's just the 'flow'.. and keep sms-ing..
• browniebaobao

  4 Sep 04, 01:55

  Originally posted by risou:

  thanks..
  
  time seems to pass by slowly when you don't want it to...hehe.
  
  i feel bad about her using so many sms though... just chat about something.. then there's just the 'flow'.. and keep sms-ing..

  
  change to phone calls lor
• Yunhaier

  4 Sep 04, 02:13

  Originally posted by risou:

  Who: Guy A, Girl B (both studying, early 20s)
  
  How long: A knows B for almost a month now.
  
  What:
  - A and B taking similar mods, B usually with a group of her gal-frens in classes
  - mode of contact so far: sms bcoz B rarely online. A the initiator, B replies most of the time. Not just idle chat though..
  - both don't have any ecas/ccas/etc
  - B graduating mid-2005, A is a yr later.
  
  How:
  - ways for A to get to know B better? But at the same time not wanting to appear so 'aggressive/imposing/etc'
  
  Any comments will be appreciated..

  I have never believe in solo virtual chasing if you have other alternatives. SMS is great, ICQ is cool and MSN seemed right - regardless, you have to plan your way to achieve a private date with her.
  
  This has to be your first objective - before anything else can fall in.
  
  You need a proper phone call conversation to begin BEFORE she can learn to see the other side of you she might not knew. Your first call is crucial for you only have one chance to achieve either one of the following:
  
  I) Interest her
  
  II) Make her feel comfortable communicating with you.
  
  III) Reduce Barrier Theory - (In simple, it refers to the imaginary percentage of resistance she has against you from being a good friend. We all have barrier to strangers and people we do not know well. You have to reduce them).
  
  Screw up this attempt and it would be difficult for you unless you are an opportunist in love. Of course, don't appear like a hunger puppy searching desperately for that piece of bone - go steadily at an even pace. But I would like to add that if school is the only avenue for you to know her, you had better plan your move well before she graduate to at least a decent friend.
  
  Cheers
• risou

  4 Sep 04, 02:14

  Originally posted by browniebaobao:

  
  change to phone calls lor

  i agree.. darn im a guy and im shy abt this *mutates into devil*
  
  another thing.. she seems to be the 'must-get-beauty-sleep' type of person.. always koonz ard 9+/10+.. early sia..
  
  sidenote: when we returned to sch to do some proj stuff.. she was dressed up (was going out later in the day) and looked so half cute/half chio man.. .. not that its all about the looks or what.. dun get me wrong
  
  Yun: thanks.. i always appreciate and enjoy your postings i will try to make the first call a good one..
  - the hungry puppy example, thats what im aiming not to become
  Shall try my best! keep the comments coming, hehe
• Yunhaier

  4 Sep 04, 02:32

  Originally posted by risou:

  i agree.. darn im a guy and im shy abt this *mutates into devil*
  
  another thing.. she seems to be the 'must-get-beauty-sleep' type of person.. always koonz ard 9+/10+.. early sia..
  
  sidenote: when we returned to sch to do some proj stuff.. she was dressed up (was going out later in the day) and looked so half cute/half chio man.. .. not that its all about the looks or what.. dun get me wrong
  
  Yun: thanks.. i always appreciate and enjoy your postings i will try to make the first call a good one..
  - the hungry puppy example, thats what im aiming not to become
  Shall try my best! keep the comments coming, hehe

  You are welcome.
  
  Cheers
• Devil1976

  4 Sep 04, 11:52

  Originally posted by risou:

  Who: Guy A, Girl B (both studying, early 20s)
  
  How long: A knows B for almost a month now.
  
  What:
  - A and B taking similar mods, B usually with a group of her gal-frens in classes
  - mode of contact so far: sms bcoz B rarely online. A the initiator, B replies most of the time. Not just idle chat though..
  - both don't have any ecas/ccas/etc
  - B graduating mid-2005, A is a yr later.
  
  How:
  - ways for A to get to know B better? But at the same time not wanting to appear so 'aggressive/imposing/etc'
  
  Any comments will be appreciated..

  Frankly speaking... I personally think that your so called 'facts' don't really help much at all...?
• risou

  4 Sep 04, 12:10

  ok.. so what is supposed to help..
• Devil1976

  4 Sep 04, 13:40

  Originally posted by risou:

  ok.. so what is supposed to help..

  Hmm.. Come to think of it again... Maybe you just ain't there yet..? Try to find out more about her..?
  
  Like what the others have suggested, try more COMMUNICATION...?
• risou

  4 Sep 04, 14:15

  Originally posted by Devil1976:

  Hmm.. Come to think of it again... Maybe you just ain't there yet..? Try to find out more about her..?
  
  Like what the others have suggested, try more COMMUNICATION...?

  trying to find out more.. but at the same time trying not to seem so 'despo'.. So far she seems ok thru sms.. but as was mentioned, the impt part is the RL communication..thru fone/sch etc. Hope to make some progress there
  
  need to get to know her galfrens..
• nuchio

  4 Sep 04, 21:48

  here are 10 things you can do:
  
  1. think through what you like about her, and decide.
  
  2. give it time to observe and learn more about her to be sure.
  
  3. spend time together, before and after your discussions
  
  4. let the time together stretch to outside meetings - coffee or nice movie
  
  5. give her a little gift (women always fall for that), thoughtful, not pricey
  
  6. be attentive to her needs and be a gentleman. open doors, pull chairs
  
  7. increase frequency to outings n keep all the sms-es going
  
  8. let the 'chats' get intimate. e.g: sms her to say goodnight.
  
  9. start getting 'touchy' - a little slap on shoulder, knock on the head (lightly!), sweep of hair (this one had better be done with some finesse), stab in the ribs (with fingers not knife). ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS
  
  10. if she is responsive all the way - ask her to be your girlfriend ... old fashioned but women like that, what to do???
  
  p/s - dont take too long, in about 2-3 months, otherwise at the rate you go, she would have graduated.
  
  good luck !
  
  6.
• men_@_arms

  4 Sep 04, 21:53

  Nah. THe only way for him to get closer without being a "puppy" is via GROUP outings, get the guys in your class to make some kind of CLUBBING night out or some night out where the whole class is going. Then via this sort of group outing you chat her up. Otherwise if you chat the girl up when she's with her girl friends, ytou appear like a puppy and its embarrasing and she may be embarrassed.
• risou

  4 Sep 04, 22:09

  Originally posted by men_@_arms:

  Nah. THe only way for him to get closer without being a "puppy" is via GROUP outings, get the guys in your class to make some kind of CLUBBING night out or some night out where the whole class is going. Then via this sort of group outing you chat her up. Otherwise if you chat the girl up when she's with her girl friends, ytou appear like a puppy and its embarrasing and she may be embarrassed.

  uni culture.. outing stuff not that easy to plan >.<
  
  she seems to be always with her gal frds, tts y kinda hard to 'chat her up' in sch.. without appearin like a puppy
• gerrykoh

  6 Sep 04, 10:12

  Really have to start talking on the phone with her cos SMS alone won't do. Talk abt. sch. work, movies, music, anything u can think of. Keep it natural. Offer to help her with sch. work or study together