try to cool down......Originally posted by eccentrical:i knew i will be getting these responses. at least i tried. and if you think its a i i i relationship, you are wrong. you are judging me too fast dude. the whole relationship was dominated by her who is always quarreling with me as she is the one that always do the i i i. i guess this will be my last message. bye.
Originally posted by eccentrical:Good evening all big brothers and sisters. Need your kind advice on this situation. Thank you. My gf dumped me last week. I really cant get over her, I attempted suicide. Reason for leaving: Don't want to hurt me further. From what I assume, throughout our seven months relationship, she didnt even love me or she is just not sure. She broke up with me on the third day and since then, the break-patch routine continues. Throughout all the patches, it was me who intiate them. I went from begging her desperately to doing really stupid things. She says she is not making me happy which is not true. She has really changed my life tremendously. But no matter how I explained to her, she had left without a word. She broke up with me over the phone and I was really having a bad period of other problems. What a time to break up manz!
Firstly, I find it hard to get over her because I really love her a lot. I have my mind set up to marry her and accept her for who she really is. To practice good communication, etc. Yes I had my flaws, my temper caused me to slam the phone time and time again but I have improved myself because of her. I am very committed and I believe that I can only love one person in my life, which is her. I am a very low esteem person but the relationship was the sole thing I was confident in. I was so sure everything will stay so after the sixth month, I focused my time on work to work hard for our future.
I would like to feed as much information as I can so that I can get help. One thing about her is that whenever she is at fault, she will find ways to make it my fault. Yes, she has a big ego. She told me that I was never important to her and I was not in her priority list at all. Meaning her family and friends come first. I had to teach her how to love me. I thought that since I was her first boy friend, she had no prior experience.
I realised that I was blinded. I do not know if she ever liked me or not. Or she was just in a relationship cause it gives her the attention she needs. She has plenty of friends, mostly guys who she would love to have freedom to hang out with. Will someone have to teach you how to love someone? Friends have adviced me to move on and forget about it. I feel cheated but I am stucked and do not know what to do to move on. Its like I am confuse. In my heart, I still feel that maybe she was just hiding something. But reality shows that she didn't even bother or appreciate me at all.
I believe in love. Meaning when I go into a relationship, I will fight it till the very end. I dont believe in going into a relationship just to try. If our personalities clashes in the long run, there can be lots of resolution. Of course, careful thinking have been done before a relationship is pursued. But it seems this world has no love? People go into relationship just to see if they fit. If it doesnt then sua, just leave and find another one. I cant live with that.
My question is: Did she love me? I have ignored her for a week after all the advice I have got. She didnt call or email me though. She is telling all my friends and her friends to take care of me as she wont be there for me. Telling them to keep it a secret from me. What is she trying to do? She wants to make me feel pitiful? How can she continue with her life so happy after 7 months of relationship while I am here so sad about it. People are so realistic? Please help me and I will feed more information when I think about them. Thank you so much.
PS: Ok I did a very lame thing you may say. At 5am in the morning, I went to her house to leave her guitar outside of her door and also all the letters she gave me. Then I left. I am really shock and tramautised.![]()
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Originally posted by eccentrical:cloudism remix? so do i have depression? do i need to see a doctor? so i am condemed cause i am different from people?
Economically, during your 7 months, i believe during the 1st few months, she was attracted to you, you were the sole male product in her life and u 2 were happy. As time went on, as with most people, she became exposed to more male choices in the market; more males that were obviously NOT YOU or different than you, most likely different in terms of esteem and manly stature (mostly behaviour).I really cant get over her...I attempted suicide...Throughout all the patches, it was me who intiate them...I went from begging her desperately to doing really stupid things......Ok I did a very lame thing you may say. At 5am in the morning, I went to her house to leave her guitar outside of her door and also all the letters she gave me. Then I left. I am really shock and tramautised.![]()
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You may really not be able to get over her. Its hard, we know. But this is sensitive information that does not endear you to her. Most girls don't feel attraction for weakness, although you may think she is touched by your "devotion to her", it makes u look weak. The fact that she prolly knows u committed suicide is an even more "mission failed" point for you. THe fact that you keep initiating patch ups, shows you are the one who "wants her", and not she who wants you, also, it further shows in her eyes how weak you are. The fact that you begged undermines your "I AM A MAN URAAAGHH!!!!"-image, which is not good for girls.
You should mask this weakness, and not expose it, especially not to her or her agents.I am a very low esteem person but the relationship was the sole thing I was confident in
You must find other ways to gain your esteem in. You must be proud of your other features, which i am sure you have, every man has a basic set of features that add to his ego.
basics: 1. Physique (you can train this up)
2. Personality (you can modify it to suit the demand for guys by girls curve)
3. Titles, authority, your ranks, what class your in, how smart you are, your qualifications, your abilities, your talents etc. You must magnify these and find confidence.She has really changed my life tremendously. But no matter how I explained to her, she had left without a word.
It appears, the reason for your relationship problem, lies in the fact that she does not feel attracted to you anymore. That is something near impossible for you to change at this point, but the important thing is you overcome the reasons why she dumped you. And i believe the main reason is your lack of confidence and commanding "manlyness".She has plenty of friends, mostly guys who she would love to have freedom to hang out with.
she has a big ego*IMPORTANT*
If our personalities clashes in the long run, there can be lots of resolution.Technically true, given the basic assumption that is in most cases, the downfall of your thesis- "the willingness of parties to resolve issues." Especially in this day and age, we people want everything DONE fast and easy.
But it seems this world has no love? People go into relationship just to see if they fit. If it doesnt then sua, just leave and find another one. I cant live with that.Yes the world is a ****ing unfair beast, no wonder the Cathars regarded it as evil and called it "rex Mundi". That fact you can't live with that now, is as good as you comitting suicide. The animal that cannot adapt to its changing surroundings will inevitably become extinct. The company that cannot adapt and be more competitive will close. You must adapt and change ur mindset, or else u will always encounter these breaking situations.
My question is: Did she love me? I have ignored her for a week after all the advice I have got.Yes she did love you, for a while. She does not love you now. How and WHY is very important for you to succeed in future. And i am glad to congradulate you for ignoring her for a week, good. THat is the 1st step.
She is telling all my friends and her friends to take care of me as she wont be there for me. Telling them to keep it a secret from me. What is she trying to do?She wants to make me feel pitiful?I believe you need to know why she does not love you. She finds you unattractive now because she finds you weak. It is obvious because she asks others to take care of you coz she won't be there, that already shows she acknowledges your weakness which she finds unattractive.
How can you feel so sad about it still? It's your choice?Originally posted by eccentrical:My question is: Did she love me? I have ignored her for a week after all the advice I have got. She didnt call or email me though. She is telling all my friends and her friends to take care of me as she wont be there for me. Telling them to keep it a secret from me. What is she trying to do? She wants to make me feel pitiful? How can she continue with her life so happy after 7 months of relationship while I am here so sad about it. People are so realistic? Please help me and I will feed more information when I think about them. Thank you so much.
PS: Ok I did a very lame thing you may say. At 5am in the morning, I went to her house to leave her guitar outside of her door and also all the letters she gave me. Then I left. I am really shock and tramautised.![]()
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wat we can do best is to only give u advicesOriginally posted by eccentrical:My sincere gratitude to each and every one of you. It just goes to show that I am not alone in these. I feel comforted when I read all of your posts and I thank you for your time. Its a miracle to see that what every of you have replied is right! It clears my mind and shows me the big picture of my whole setback. I will just add on a little to share my experience so that it can be a good discussion for all.
Originally posted by Yunhaier:Thank you Yun. You must be a doctor of some sort, you really broke my barrier pretty much. I know the fundamentals of a relationship cause this was not my first. Ironically, all my experiences are the same. Thats why I am what I am today: hurt and broken. Like what men@arms said, probably I will have to chase up with reality to survive. Living a life of what a real man should really be. Very good point! And the thing that sticks on with me is how she manipulated me, its painful because you gave a part of your life to someone who took it like a toy. I agree with Babyboy that true love will come one day, it doesnt have to be rushed. Worst of all, if girls are what all men@arms has said, i would rather not have anymore of them. I have to accept the fact that people are realistic. They told me not to leave for second best, but I am not realistic, I was satisfied when I had her.You are not different from people - in fact, I know of alot of people falling under your kind of case. Just that if you are a woman, the man you will attract will likely to abuse you in some aspects, namely emotional abuse (of course, there are chances of other forms of abuse).
If you can't handle them alone or if it is terribly affecting your lifestyle - you ought to seek help because online assistance is like online virus scan - it works only when you are logged into internet.
Love is projected two ways - you and your partner. If you can't even handle the Self element - attempting to engage in a relationship will usually bring more sorrow than happiness. You are the sort of clings for emotional dependancy and it's true for people who lack the self esteem - because you can't find it yourself, you had to source it from other people. Reasoning includes: Rather die than to live without her, she is the only one - no one else, etc (Major water elements in their astrological chart will serve similiar effect) Ironically, it became like drugs, you had to stablize more with each clings and it deepens your wounds on the relationship.
You must be self substantial and stable and NOT think that a relationship will help to achieve this. Relationship makes a person wholesome and complete - but it cannot assist in areas like this unless you are enligten and wisdom shines into your life.
P.S: Nobody is condemn - you can learn it or lose it here. Understand why this relationship has to go - acknowledge. Take a deep breathe and focus on how you should improve yourself than to chase after a souless relationship. You can return back to your so called past - but I shall guarantee you that another break is set on a date down the road. [b]Don't do things for the sake of doing things - DO things because you KNOW what's good ultimately.
Cheers [/b]
reason for breakup - none. she just said she wanted to break.Originally posted by BaByBoY:Hello eccentrical,
i do feel sorry for you, but i guess by now u surely knwo that sucide is not goin to solve any problems.. it just creates new problems for other ppl..
i know u muz be feelin rather sad over the break up..
can i query how old are the 2 of u all actually??
what are the reasons that she broke up w you on the 3rd day??
i mean if she cannot commit, then i feel its her fault for leading u so long...
perhaps she`s right that she`s not making you happy..
have you ever pondered why she need to break away from you??
are you the one giving her prob??
as you`ve mentioned your`re the one showing her `bad temper`
yes, you may say that u love her a lot..
u may even feel that u love her a lot..
but are you doin it the correct way??
its the way u handle things tat makes them turn out certain ways u`ve nv expected them to be..
regarding yor question..
i cant tell you if she really loved you..
but u can think about these..
have she ever done anything `just for you`??
did she tell you her secrets??
have you all done a heart to heart talk????
is she proud to be with you??
at least these are the few min signs that she may have loved u b4
i feel that u should really take a break from all these..
let life live itself.. don think abt her ( at least try not to )
get some distraction
and ponder wat do u really want to get out of life
i know it aint easy but try
it`ll make u feel better, fret not for a r/s..
Let True Love come to you,
there`s no need to rush Love like you had..
and when it comes to you, there`s no stopping of it.
Chill out
Originally posted by eccentrical:GET A LIFE, CANT U SEE SHE IS USING U AS U HAVE A STABLE CAREER
reason for breakup - none. she just said she wanted to break.
[b]can i query how old are the 2 of u all actually?? I am in my 20 and she is 19
are you the one giving her prob?? I think i am relieving her from problems. I helped her a lot in her life with work and family matters.
have she ever done anything `just for you`?? There are some, but what does it show then? She do care?
did she tell you her secrets?? Nope, she hid from me a lot of things until I forced some of them out. Like how she hugged a guy who liked her.
have you all done a heart to heart talk???? Of couirse! But whenever I try to talk to her nicely, she will blow up. And I am always at fault.
is she proud to be with you?? Nope. She brags about other guys especially her best guy friend. The only thing she is proud about me is my career, thats all.
Let True Love come to you,
there`s no need to rush Love like you had..
and when it comes to you, there`s no stopping of it. Agree! I will move on. Yes, there are times where I want to go and beg her again.[/b]
other than i dun love you anymore, all other reasons to break up is nonsense, at least to me. And if that someone has no feelings for you, u wanna end ur life it wouldn't bother her the least.Originally posted by eccentrical:Good evening all big brothers and sisters. Need your kind advice on this situation. Thank you. My gf dumped me last week. I really cant get over her, I attempted suicide. Reason for leaving: Don't want to hurt me further. From what I assume, throughout our seven months relationship, she didnt even love me or she is just not sure. She broke up with me on the third day and since then, the break-patch routine continues. Throughout all the patches, it was me who intiate them. I went from begging her desperately to doing really stupid things. She says she is not making me happy which is not true. She has really changed my life tremendously. But no matter how I explained to her, she had left without a word. She broke up with me over the phone and I was really having a bad period of other problems. What a time to break up manz!
Firstly, I find it hard to get over her because I really love her a lot. I have my mind set up to marry her and accept her for who she really is. To practice good communication, etc. Yes I had my flaws, my temper caused me to slam the phone time and time again but I have improved myself because of her. I am very committed and I believe that I can only love one person in my life, which is her. I am a very low esteem person but the relationship was the sole thing I was confident in. I was so sure everything will stay so after the sixth month, I focused my time on work to work hard for our future.
I would like to feed as much information as I can so that I can get help. One thing about her is that whenever she is at fault, she will find ways to make it my fault. Yes, she has a big ego. She told me that I was never important to her and I was not in her priority list at all. Meaning her family and friends come first. I had to teach her how to love me. I thought that since I was her first boy friend, she had no prior experience.
I realised that I was blinded. I do not know if she ever liked me or not. Or she was just in a relationship cause it gives her the attention she needs. She has plenty of friends, mostly guys who she would love to have freedom to hang out with. Will someone have to teach you how to love someone? Friends have adviced me to move on and forget about it. I feel cheated but I am stucked and do not know what to do to move on. Its like I am confuse. In my heart, I still feel that maybe she was just hiding something. But reality shows that she didn't even bother or appreciate me at all.
I believe in love. Meaning when I go into a relationship, I will fight it till the very end. I dont believe in going into a relationship just to try. If our personalities clashes in the long run, there can be lots of resolution. Of course, careful thinking have been done before a relationship is pursued. But it seems this world has no love? People go into relationship just to see if they fit. If it doesnt then sua, just leave and find another one. I cant live with that.
My question is: Did she love me? I have ignored her for a week after all the advice I have got. She didnt call or email me though. She is telling all my friends and her friends to take care of me as she wont be there for me. Telling them to keep it a secret from me. What is she trying to do? She wants to make me feel pitiful? How can she continue with her life so happy after 7 months of relationship while I am here so sad about it. People are so realistic? Please help me and I will feed more information when I think about them. Thank you so much.
PS: Ok I did a very lame thing you may say. At 5am in the morning, I went to her house to leave her guitar outside of her door and also all the letters she gave me. Then I left. I am really shock and tramautised.![]()
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wah she planning Mission Impossible 3 movie ???Originally posted by eccentrical:Woah, something really big happened!
Her best friend was looking for me telling me that we had an appointment. I have no idea what appointment it was! Now I just put down the phone with her best friend and guess what!?
The best friend told me that a guy posing as me called her to date her out to hyatt for dinner. Saying that my ex was with her in the car but I dont drive. Then throughout the entire relationship she had never told the best friend about me. She had said to her best friend bout how cute her ex lover or best friend is but never me. She said nothing about me to her bestfriend.
Her bestfriend is pissed that she will scheme against her. My ex is simply trying to push me to her? Trying to ask another person take care of me. I am like being treated like a ball?!?! Crying and attempting suicide for nothing! That girl and I will go look for another of her best friend tomorrow to clarify the whole thing. I deserve an answer yes (although it dont mean much), but she needs help.
Originally posted by eccentrical:Thank you Yun. You must be a doctor of some sort, you really broke my barrier pretty much. I know the fundamentals of a relationship cause this was not my first. Ironically, all my experiences are the same. Thats why I am what I am today: hurt and broken. Like what men@arms said, probably I will have to chase up with reality to survive. Living a life of what a real man should really be. Very good point! And the thing that sticks on with me is how she manipulated me, its painful because you gave a part of your life to someone who took it like a toy. I agree with Babyboy that true love will come one day, it doesnt have to be rushed. Worst of all, if girls are what all men@arms has said, i would rather not have anymore of them. I have to accept the fact that people are realistic. They told me not to leave for second best, but I am not realistic, I was satisfied when I had her.
I dont want to focus so much on myself. What I can do now is just to help myself in my other areas of life. When I have settled down again, I will then be her friend. That is all I can do. People say that she will come back to me, but I will reject it. There are too many instances to show her disinterest in me. I was blind until all of you lovely people woke me up. Now I know what kind of person she is. She 'appeared' a naive and gullible girl but it was all a front, I was fooled. Anyway,I can smile now. It was a bad dream. One more thing, thank you Yun for your message. I almost went to her place to gave her a letter. After reading your message I didnt go ahead. I can look forward now, leaving her on the island. THANK YOU EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You made a life worth living again.
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Originally posted by eccentrical:Woah, something really big happened!
Her best friend was looking for me telling me that we had an appointment. I have no idea what appointment it was! Now I just put down the phone with her best friend and guess what!?
The best friend told me that a guy posing as me called her to date her out to hyatt for dinner. Saying that my ex was with her in the car but I dont drive. Then throughout the entire relationship she had never told the best friend about me. She had said to her best friend bout how cute her ex lover or best friend is but never me. She said nothing about me to her bestfriend.
Her bestfriend is pissed that she will scheme against her. My ex is simply trying to push me to her? Trying to ask another person take care of me. I am like being treated like a ball?!?! Crying and attempting suicide for nothing! That girl and I will go look for another of her best friend tomorrow to clarify the whole thing. I deserve an answer yes (although it dont mean much), but she needs help.