feeling..
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last wk been asked out by a girl i LIKE i think. I mean when i think about her, i feel errrr, mushy? WarM? Errr all that WEAKLING stuff. But more logically, coz she's graceful, full O faith yet not over-zealous, sweet voice, great mixed-features, VERY open and a good listener, a friend i like basically.
Yet i don't really know her, and i regret that, we hardly see each other, just on and off, she'll let me know about some fun activity and i likewise do the same with her.
But i don't think i like her that much coz i don't feel CRAZY or nuts over her. Its not a sexual thing either coz i dun think about that sort o thing much. Its a kind of on or off attraction i guess, and its not even a deep or intense attraction, because i don't feel it strongly for her or anyone yet. But even though i like her only a bit, i feel nervous when i'm gonna meet her.
Anywayz, i post-poned, said i was busy, asked her to call this weekend. But as the weekend comes, i am feeling more anxious.. like i dun want her to call, while i do. I wanna see her, yet i can't bear for her to see me. Because i feel i am not like at my best appearance.. i have been wasted by months of stressful school, i have studied till i look like a freakin zombie demon from outer space complete with eyerings and acne. Plus. She aint seen me for months, and twould be a turn off me thinks.. Plus my character/personality has become even more degraded and introverted/inferior, i fear when we meet i won't muster any words outta my mouth..
Yet if i don't give a damn about her, i theoretically wouldn't give a damn about how i look..or what i am like right? So that means i must give a damn about her, or maybe not? Dunno.
I need an outsider's perspective, appreciate any views or 10 cents worth from u guys
n girls. -
yo! don't think so lowly of yourself & only see the worse part of your growth, in everything we go through, there's always gain & loss in different ways so you muz have evolved into a much better person in some ways which may not be visible to u through recent experiences... even if there isn't much good change or even change at all, you're still more enriched by your experiences today than yesterday.. experiences which u can share.....Originally posted by men_@_arms:Plus my character/personality has become even more degraded and introverted/inferior, i fear when we meet i won't muster any words outta my mouth..
so... (said all that to say this).. go heck abt all those doubts & hesitation, go enjoy catching up with her.. even if nothing comes out of it, she sounds like good company for a weekend kopi-movie session...
do u like her or not? u won't know till u really know her and know about her.. it's no big deal we don't know our own feelings at first sight or first ten sights.. afterall, there're degrees of variations in our feelings towards someone ya? and here, i know there's fondness.. so just go and go with the flow.. cheerz & best wishes!
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tanks for replying.
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Looks like you are having a confusing time of your time... I think what you are experiencing now is more like puppy love to me.. Why not you just don't think of anything else.. but just frens.. nothing else..Originally posted by men_@_arms:last wk been asked out by a girl i LIKE i think. I mean when i think about her, i feel errrr, mushy? WarM? Errr all that WEAKLING stuff. But more logically, coz she's graceful, full O faith yet not over-zealous, sweet voice, great mixed-features, VERY open and a good listener, a friend i like basically.
Yet i don't really know her, and i regret that, we hardly see each other, just on and off, she'll let me know about some fun activity and i likewise do the same with her.
But i don't think i like her that much coz i don't feel CRAZY or nuts over her. Its not a sexual thing either coz i dun think about that sort o thing much. Its a kind of on or off attraction i guess, and its not even a deep or intense attraction, because i don't feel it strongly for her or anyone yet. But even though i like her only a bit, i feel nervous when i'm gonna meet her.
Anywayz, i post-poned, said i was busy, asked her to call this weekend. But as the weekend comes, i am feeling more anxious.. like i dun want her to call, while i do. I wanna see her, yet i can't bear for her to see me. Because i feel i am not like at my best appearance.. i have been wasted by months of stressful school, i have studied till i look like a freakin zombie demon from outer space complete with eyerings and acne. Plus. She aint seen me for months, and twould be a turn off me thinks.. Plus my character/personality has become even more degraded and introverted/inferior, i fear when we meet i won't muster any words outta my mouth..
Yet if i don't give a damn about her, i theoretically wouldn't give a damn about how i look..or what i am like right? So that means i must give a damn about her, or maybe not? Dunno.
I need an outsider's perspective, appreciate any views or 10 cents worth from u guys
n girls.
You can get to know her much better when you go out with her.. Ask her abt things etc.. Frm there, i believe things should be able to progress? Don let your head take over your heart..
Don down grade yourself to an extend where you condem yourself.. Look at the positive points in you.. This way.. You can have the courage to face up to her and the world.. -
Originally posted by men_@_arms:last wk been asked out by a girl i LIKE i think. I mean when i think about her, i feel errrr, mushy? WarM? Errr all that WEAKLING stuff. But more logically, coz she's graceful, full O faith yet not over-zealous, sweet voice, great mixed-features, VERY open and a good listener, a friend i like basically.
Yet i don't really know her, and i regret that, we hardly see each other, just on and off, she'll let me know about some fun activity and i likewise do the same with her.
But i don't think i like her that much coz i don't feel CRAZY or nuts over her. Its not a sexual thing either coz i dun think about that sort o thing much. Its a kind of on or off attraction i guess, and its not even a deep or intense attraction, because i don't feel it strongly for her or anyone yet. But even though i like her only a bit, i feel nervous when i'm gonna meet her.
Anywayz, i post-poned, said i was busy, asked her to call this weekend. But as the weekend comes, i am feeling more anxious.. like i dun want her to call, while i do. I wanna see her, yet i can't bear for her to see me. Because i feel i am not like at my best appearance.. i have been wasted by months of stressful school, i have studied till i look like a freakin zombie demon from outer space complete with eyerings and acne. Plus. She aint seen me for months, and twould be a turn off me thinks.. Plus my character/personality has become even more degraded and introverted/inferior, i fear when we meet i won't muster any words outta my mouth..
Yet if i don't give a damn about her, i theoretically wouldn't give a damn about how i look..or what i am like right? So that means i must give a damn about her, or maybe not? Dunno.
I need an outsider's perspective, appreciate any views or 10 cents worth from u guys
n girls.
You are cramping your mind and heart into one focus - creating lots of conflicts and confusion in the event of doing so.
I) You like a girl and you is forced to display your other side. You felt new, uneasy and terribly uncomfortable. To make things worst: your low self esteem hinders you very much.
II) Unsure about the intangible quality of your liking, yet your body reacted like you do (Nervous breakdown)
III) Sensitive over your external appearence and very conscious about how she MAY see you.
*** Calm down! Don't get so tense up over simple thought of chasing and admit defeat even before you did anything practical. Just in case you didn't realise: your personality really hinders you alot. YOU ARE NORMAL! Remember that - regardless of HOW and WHAT ever took place in your experience - your mind delude you to think that you are inferior because you allow that to happen.
Go to the nearest mirror and talk to yourself everyday for 15 minutes. Talk about how you want to change your fate in your love affairs, talk about how you want to do something, talk about your courage to face what you are afraid, talk about how it want it to be and so on.
Have you ever realise that she doesn't go through all that thingy in her head like you do? You are so fearful, thinking that you only have one chance in that attempt to make it big and stall because you feel that you are not in top shape for the chance.
To chase is a continuous flow, not a HAR attempt (Hit & Run). Whenever you got the mood you attempt, whenever your inferiority gets better of you, you run - it shouldn't be the case.
P.S: Learn to get hold of yourself. Unite your body, soul and emotions into ONE. Only then you can work yourself for a common goal. Every aspects of you are like scattered sands, all over the place.
Cheers -
If you are feeling so damn down.. then do something about yourself.. the few people has given their good advices... Few people post in here doesn't mean no one read your story.. is be cos.. all of them have given all suggestions that you can do.. No point having som many people telling oyu over and over again.. but yet nothing is done from you...
You jus have to faced what you have to.. You keep avoiding and running away from it.. this is not goin to help in any way.. and if you really like her.. and somehow.. one day... you wanna be with her.. how are you goin to face her??
"A thought which does not result in an action is nothing much, and an action which does not proceed from a thought is nothing at all" -
Just go out as friends lah. Casual-like.
Don't have to over analyse things. Let it flow naturally.
And wanting to look good on an outing doesn't mean that you feel alot for that person, could it just be that you take pride in your appearance?Originally posted by men_@_arms:VERY open and a good listener, a friend i like basically. -
catch no ball..u mean she would feel u r "inferior" to her???
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2 things basically:
1st, you're not sure you want her. as you say, it's only an occasional feeling esp when u see her; it could only be a crush. but you know yourself best, and only u can decide whether u really want her. ask yourself things like whether u're prepared to put her benefit ahead of yours. if u do decide that she's the one for u, then read on-
2nd, to be attractive is not a matter of eyerings; it's a matter of the self-confidence you can project abt u. the charisma. why do u think jerks get lots of girls? not because they're faultless, but coz they're "blind" to their own faults! because they think they own the world, they have this self-confidence that chicks really dig. would you prefer to be with the outspoken guy who always has something to say, even if he is a bit arrogant, or the quiet nerd who clams up because he thinks his opinions aren't good enough for others? the lesson is simple: YOU NEED TO GET RID OF YOUR INSECURITY. stop thinking that you're lousy, that you're ugly, that you'll be at a loss for words. NO! fact is that with your friendship at the stage it is in, she'll have accepted u for who u are, and decided u're cool enough for her. the only person saying you're ugly is yourself!! you have to stop saying that. as ken and some other posters have said, focus on your good pts, and keep telling yourself you are good. that's it, make a conscious effort to tell yourself everytime u can that you're good, more than good enough for her. trust me, after awhile you'll really believe it, and it'll show in your behaviour. you'll be a much more confident, self-assured guy then!
lastly, bare the whole story to your closest guy friends. i'm sure they'll give u lots of encouragement and advice, and u'll soon feel much better about yourself and her.
best regards!