would you spend less time together with someone...
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because it's not possible to be together as a couple? (aka either you had rejected the other party or you had been rejected?
is it a case of moving on with life and just remain as normal friends (aka lessen contact between the two of you and remember that the two of you had spent quite a lot of time together in the past)
or allow things between the two of you to remain unchanged (well you do enjoy the other party's company...)? -
I would spend less time. We will remain as friends but I will keep a distance from her. Its the only way I can completely break away from the rejection and move on.
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I will avoid him so that I will be able to forget. The more time I spent with him, the harder it is to get rid of him from my mind.
i.c.y -
remains unchanged
but mus make things clear to other party tt we are "bu ke neng de" (at least for now.......future not sure......)
hope the other party can be magnanimous about it oso..... -
X2Originally posted by icyprincess:I will avoid him so that I will be able to forget. The more time I spent with him, the harder it is to get rid of him from my mind.
i.c.y -
x3 - out of sight, out of mindOriginally posted by icyprincess:I will avoid him so that I will be able to forget. The more time I spent with him, the harder it is to get rid of him from my mind.
i.c.y -
I have tested this before so I know it is true...like i discovered last time I cudnt forget "him" because I have always been around him but now that I see him less often, I am finally able to let go...Of cos it still hurt because we used to be so close in the past but I guess this is better for the both of us...mebbe one day, we will be frens again, after I have moved on completely...Originally posted by GentlemanJack:x3 - out of sight, out of mind
i.c.y -
Well said.Originally posted by GentlemanJack:x3 - out of sight, out of mind -
hmm..should i be surprised with the pragmatic approach adopted by the majority?
so the fact that you all spent a lot of time together in the past were simply like an "investment" and not because you enjoy the other party's company?
now that you know there would be no "returns", you would not hesitate to let go? -
Originally posted by simulacrum:
only through experience do you learn the best way to deal with this type of situation.
[b]hmm..should i be surprised with the pragmatic approach adopted by the majority?
b]
it appears that those who have responded have been in this situation and dealt with it in this way, but you must try it for yourself and see if it works for you.
remember the good things, and learn from the bad things -
it is not because there is no returns. But sometimes you have to choose to do this to save yourself. Yes, I did enjoy his company but the longer I stayed with him, the more impossible it is for me to let go. And it has affected me to a degree that my life seems messed up and he doesnt even know.Originally posted by simulacrum:hmm..should i be surprised with the pragmatic approach adopted by the majority?
so the fact that you all spent a lot of time together in the past were simply like an "investment" and not because you enjoy the other party's company?
now that you know there would be no "returns", you would not hesitate to let go?
But to each his own. You can choose to be frens with him/her. I can't.
i.c.y -
Depends on your original relationship with that person and what's your intention to be with the person in the 1st place....Originally posted by simulacrum:because it's not possible to be together as a couple? (aka either you had rejected the other party or you had been rejected? is it a case of moving on with life and just remain as normal friends (aka lessen contact between the two of you and remember that the two of you had spent quite a lot of time together in the past)
or allow things between the two of you to remain unchanged (well you do enjoy the other party's company...)?
Subject to other 'rejection factors'... -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Depends on your original relationship with that person and what's your intention to be with the person in the 1st place....
Subject to other 'rejection factors'...
if he/she is married then it's a total disastor if you carry on as a friends or as a couple or as a lover but if you're talking about young single couple you can avoid him/her to move on and look for a better one, but it still depends on you whether you are strong enough to make the changes !
Hey
there's so many young pretty girls/chap out there why waste time on him/her
Look on the bright side and carry on and move on..stay happy that's all ! this is life you have to move on... well for me i'm hurt but i'm still moving on, donwana look back there's still a better chance and hope in the future and to make things right again dear
Stay happy sugar or whoever you are
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Originally posted by simulacrum:hmm..should i be surprised with the pragmatic approach adopted by the majority?
so the fact that you all spent a lot of time together in the past were simply like an "investment" and not because you enjoy the other party's company?
now that you know there would be no "returns", you would not hesitate to let go? Not exactly - although it could apply to some.
The real reason is because by facing him/her, your rejection pains returns - his/her presence reminds you all over again. This rejection depends heavily on how you shaped your thoughts during the chase and of course, greater dissapointments arises from greater expectation. The direction of your thought also depends on how you want things to be seen - the first natural reaction of someone would be to spin around and run. They WANT to forget, not accepting and be natural about it.
Psychologically, the things that are reinforced, you find it difficult to forget. Why would Mac` spend millions on advertising and marketing? They want everyone to remember and spend some of your cash there. Simple as that. By seeing him constantly, is like being exposed to his presence and the subject of rejection constantly - sometimes, you feel choked.
Cheers -
If according to you, I would have FAILED VERY BADLY....Originally posted by simulacrum:hmm..should i be surprised with the pragmatic approach adopted by the majority?
so the fact that you all spent a lot of time together in the past were simply like an "investment" and not because you enjoy the other party's company?
now that you know there would be no "returns", you would not hesitate to let go? -
whyOriginally posted by Devil1976:If according to you, I would have FAILED VERY BADLY.... -
My selection= allow things between the two of you to remain unchanged.
Friends shall it be, I still can enjoy that friendship company. -
I would prefer to allow things to remain unchanged, cos it is better to have that someone in my life than never.Originally posted by simulacrum:because it's not possible to be together as a couple? (aka either you had rejected the other party or you had been rejected? is it a case of moving on with life and just remain as normal friends (aka lessen contact between the two of you and remember that the two of you had spent quite a lot of time together in the past)
or allow things between the two of you to remain unchanged (well you do enjoy the other party's company...)?
I realised that running away doesn't solve all the problems and pain, it will only allow you to ''forget'' about it temporarily...it will eventually comes back to haunt you whenever you are feeling empty in your mind.
In fact, it is more enriching and fun to have that ''someone'' in your life cos you can still like that person in your own thoughtful ways. -
I often enter relationship which I know would have 'no end'.... I entered it anyhow...Originally posted by simulacrum:why -
X 2Originally posted by Devil1976:I often enter relationship which I know would have 'no end'.... I entered it anyhow...