childhood love becomes a reality...but not turning out right
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Ditch that guy... The guy is just making use of you.. When he feel lonely he come and find you when he is horny he come and find youuuu... DITCH HIMMMM
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the guy knows about your love to him and he is playing u for a fool. he doesn't really love u and imagines u to be the one he loves ( your best friend ). I don't think that you hold any special place in his heart other than to satisfy his sexual desires and fantasies which he would want from your best friend but did not get (i'm assuming here issit the case?) Either way, he would hurt you again and again yet you because of your love to him would be prone to forgive him and carry on pleasing him. This relationship is not even a BGR, u're being made used of!Originally posted by starangel:i have known this guy whom i have liked since i was in primary school. that happened 10 years ago. we spent 10 years in the same school, and over time, he knows that i like him. sadly, my feelings for him has never been returned. in secondary school. he got together with my best friend. and broke up shortly after that. she was his first love.
we lost contact with each other over the 10 years in school, and during this period, we both dated various parties. but during that period, i missed him, always wanting to find out how he's doing. finally, after 4 years, i bumped into him again, and the feelings i had just started to resurface again. he is my buddy, but i was secretly in love with him.
we continued to keep in contact, and gradually became closer. he knew when i was down, even without me telling him anything. he knows when i need a shoulder to cry on or just some company. he would occasionally pick me up from work and buy me dinner. or at times, we would spend some time together, watching movies, things couples would do together. we even had sex regularly. however, there was no official status or whatsoever given. he asked if it was ok with me that we were fuck buddies. i just kept quiet.
the time came when i reintroduced my best friend, his ex-girlfriend to him. on one hand, he kept telling me how irritating and childish she was, and he is glad to get rid of her, on the other hand, one day, while in bed with me, he msged her saying things like 'i miss you' and wanted to get back together with her (i knew this from my best friend). she didn't know about the secret relationship/fling we were having. i just kept quiet about it.
Not wanting him to know tt i knew what was going on. After some time, they got back together. I was devestated. i loved him, but didnt dare to push it a step further, not wanting to risk losing the friendship.
A major arguement happened between me and my best friend over her getting together with him. and we stopped contacting each other. and so did my meetings with him. he was totally devoted to her. i've seen how her treats her, how he looks at her, and i get jealous at the thought. soon, they broke up. after a month or two, he contacted me again, wanting to see me. i met him with no intensions, i just missed him. and that night, he asked for us to be together. i gave it some thought and i agreed to it. i seldom get to see him, and most times we meet up, we would end up making out. he treats me differently frm how he treated her. at times, i feel used by him, but there are times when he gives me the assurance that he loves me and its not only the sex that he wants. he says he feel that sex is a way to draw us closer, but i feel otherwise. I love him very very much, but i'm pulling myself away coz i'm scared he plays me out again. i'm forever comparing how he treats me and her, but keeps it all to myself.
What should i do? i love him deeply, but is it the right thing to continue this relationship, or should i put an end to it. i'm also afraid that i might lose him both as my love and as a friend.
Look he seeks you when he's down and needs company and acts like u're nothing to him in front of you when he's with your best friend.
It's really sad for me to say this but I think it's best that u put him out of your mind as he is not reciprocating your love to him and not let him continue to hurt u again and again. -
i can only say this from a guy pt of view..u can release for him....u r just a xxx tool for him....
pls wake up b4 its too late...u dun wan ur next potential bf to know about ur colourful history huh??.. -
Based on SURFACE ANALYSIS: He's just making use of you to his advantage.Originally posted by starangel:i have known this guy whom i have liked since i was in primary school. that happened 10 years ago. we spent 10 years in the same school, and over time, he knows that i like him. sadly, my feelings for him has never been returned. in secondary school. he got together with my best friend. and broke up shortly after that. she was his first love.
we lost contact with each other over the 10 years in school, and during this period, we both dated various parties. but during that period, i missed him, always wanting to find out how he's doing. finally, after 4 years, i bumped into him again, and the feelings i had just started to resurface again. he is my buddy, but i was secretly in love with him.
we continued to keep in contact, and gradually became closer. he knew when i was down, even without me telling him anything. he knows when i need a shoulder to cry on or just some company. he would occasionally pick me up from work and buy me dinner. or at times, we would spend some time together, watching movies, things couples would do together. we even had sex regularly. however, there was no official status or whatsoever given. he asked if it was ok with me that we were fuck buddies. i just kept quiet.
the time came when i reintroduced my best friend, his ex-girlfriend to him. on one hand, he kept telling me how irritating and childish she was, and he is glad to get rid of her, on the other hand, one day, while in bed with me, he msged her saying things like 'i miss you' and wanted to get back together with her (i knew this from my best friend). she didn't know about the secret relationship/fling we were having. i just kept quiet about it.
Not wanting him to know tt i knew what was going on. After some time, they got back together. I was devestated. i loved him, but didnt dare to push it a step further, not wanting to risk losing the friendship.
A major arguement happened between me and my best friend over her getting together with him. and we stopped contacting each other. and so did my meetings with him. he was totally devoted to her. i've seen how her treats her, how he looks at her, and i get jealous at the thought. soon, they broke up. after a month or two, he contacted me again, wanting to see me. i met him with no intensions, i just missed him. and that night, he asked for us to be together. i gave it some thought and i agreed to it. i seldom get to see him, and most times we meet up, we would end up making out. he treats me differently frm how he treated her. at times, i feel used by him, but there are times when he gives me the assurance that he loves me and its not only the sex that he wants. he says he feel that sex is a way to draw us closer, but i feel otherwise. I love him very very much, but i'm pulling myself away coz i'm scared he plays me out again. i'm forever comparing how he treats me and her, but keeps it all to myself.
What should i do? i love him deeply, but is it the right thing to continue this relationship, or should i put an end to it. i'm also afraid that i might lose him both as my love and as a friend.
Whether the above is a fact or not, his approach also don't seems right.
I think you can SENSE it TOO...? You won't be able to handle the situation... You won't be able to handle him... You're playing with 'fire'... Careful... You might burn yourself?
If you feel that it's not a 'love' which should be substained, end it.
If that decision's gonna affect your friendship with him, he's probably no worth as a friend.
If he's no worth as a friend and is just making use of your 'love', he's worth neither....
You SHAPE YOUR FUTURE....
As much as you might want a 'tiger' as a company... If you can't handle it, you're just counting your own days.... -
[deleted]
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Move on. I think he just take u as a w-h-o-r-e.Originally posted by starangel:What should i do? i love him deeply, but is it the right thing to continue this relationship, or should i put an end to it. i'm also afraid that i might lose him both as my love and as a friend.
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qUOTE ...there are times when he gives me the assurance that he loves me and its not only the sex that he wants. he says he feel that sex is a way to draw us closer, but i feel otherwise. I love him very very much, but i'm pulling myself away coz i'm scared he plays me out again...
sorry to hear of your situation.
I have to agree with all the people who posted here.
It is clear that you feel very strongly for him and that you love him but He does not appear to love you. He is using your love for him as a tool to manipulate you for sex. He appears to be very selfish and MANIPULATIVE 
There is very little that you can do to draw him closer. What he said quoted above is a lie. Sex can NEVER replace or create loveYou know it in your heart already that this is true. Bec If really that sex can draw you closer... it should have done it from the beginning and held both of you together! But it didnt that is why even though he was having sex with you he can still leave you and go back to his ex your good friend. Bec he has feels for someone else and not for you.
He not only took advantage of your feelings and manipulated you,
he has also destroyed your friendship with your good friend by manipulating the situation.
I know the above and some of the post in this thread is difficult to read but its true. Please take care of yourself first bec he is not going to take care of you or care about how you feel. sincerely, he will not take responsibility for you bec he never wanted to. Some man are like that... they just want sex without the responsibility. If he does not have feelings for you, giving him even more sex and money and attention willl not make him love you. in fact it will only encourage him to use you even more.
sorry -
Originally posted by starangel:
he might be someone whom you love, but he is certainly NOT a FRIEND to you, cuz he simply plainly uses you. i say ditch the guy. you deserve much better!!
i have known this guy whom i have liked since i was in primary school. that happened 10 years ago. we spent 10 years in the same school, and over time, he knows that i like him. sadly, my feelings for him has never been returned. in secondary school. he got together with my best friend. and broke up shortly after that. she was his first love.
we lost contact with each other over the 10 years in school, and during this period, we both dated various parties. but during that period, i missed him, always wanting to find out how he's doing. finally, after 4 years, i bumped into him again, and the feelings i had just started to resurface again. he is my buddy, but i was secretly in love with him.
we continued to keep in contact, and gradually became closer. he knew when i was down, even without me telling him anything. he knows when i need a shoulder to cry on or just some company. he would occasionally pick me up from work and buy me dinner. or at times, we would spend some time together, watching movies, things couples would do together. we even had sex regularly. however, there was no official status or whatsoever given. he asked if it was ok with me that we were fuck buddies. i just kept quiet.
the time came when i reintroduced my best friend, his ex-girlfriend to him. on one hand, he kept telling me how irritating and childish she was, and he is glad to get rid of her, on the other hand, one day, while in bed with me, he msged her saying things like 'i miss you' and wanted to get back together with her (i knew this from my best friend). she didn't know about the secret relationship/fling we were having. i just kept quiet about it.
Not wanting him to know tt i knew what was going on. After some time, they got back together. I was devestated. i loved him, but didnt dare to push it a step further, not wanting to risk losing the friendship.
A major arguement happened between me and my best friend over her getting together with him. and we stopped contacting each other. and so did my meetings with him. he was totally devoted to her. i've seen how her treats her, how he looks at her, and i get jealous at the thought. soon, they broke up. after a month or two, he contacted me again, wanting to see me. i met him with no intensions, i just missed him. and that night, he asked for us to be together. i gave it some thought and i agreed to it. i seldom get to see him, and most times we meet up, we would end up making out. he treats me differently frm how he treated her. at times, i feel used by him, but there are times when he gives me the assurance that he loves me and its not only the sex that he wants. he says he feel that sex is a way to draw us closer, but i feel otherwise. I love him very very much, but i'm pulling myself away coz i'm scared he plays me out again. i'm forever comparing how he treats me and her, but keeps it all to myself.
What should i do? i love him deeply, but is it the right thing to continue this relationship, or should i put an end to it. i'm also afraid that i might lose him both [b]as my love and as a friend.[/b] -
Originally posted by starangel:i have known this guy whom i have liked since i was in primary school. that happened 10 years ago. we spent 10 years in the same school, and over time, he knows that i like him. sadly, my feelings for him has never been returned. in secondary school. he got together with my best friend. and broke up shortly after that. she was his first love.
we lost contact with each other over the 10 years in school, and during this period, we both dated various parties. but during that period, i missed him, always wanting to find out how he's doing. finally, after 4 years, i bumped into him again, and the feelings i had just started to resurface again. he is my buddy, but i was secretly in love with him.
we continued to keep in contact, and gradually became closer. he knew when i was down, even without me telling him anything. he knows when i need a shoulder to cry on or just some company. he would occasionally pick me up from work and buy me dinner. or at times, we would spend some time together, watching movies, things couples would do together. we even had sex regularly. however, there was no official status or whatsoever given. he asked if it was ok with me that we were fuck buddies. i just kept quiet.
the time came when i reintroduced my best friend, his ex-girlfriend to him. on one hand, he kept telling me how irritating and childish she was, and he is glad to get rid of her, on the other hand, one day, while in bed with me, he msged her saying things like 'i miss you' and wanted to get back together with her (i knew this from my best friend). she didn't know about the secret relationship/fling we were having. i just kept quiet about it.
Not wanting him to know tt i knew what was going on. After some time, they got back together. I was devestated. i loved him, but didnt dare to push it a step further, not wanting to risk losing the friendship.
A major arguement happened between me and my best friend over her getting together with him. and we stopped contacting each other. and so did my meetings with him. he was totally devoted to her. i've seen how her treats her, how he looks at her, and i get jealous at the thought. soon, they broke up. after a month or two, he contacted me again, wanting to see me. i met him with no intensions, i just missed him. and that night, he asked for us to be together. i gave it some thought and i agreed to it. i seldom get to see him, and most times we meet up, we would end up making out. he treats me differently frm how he treated her. at times, i feel used by him, but there are times when he gives me the assurance that he loves me and its not only the sex that he wants. he says he feel that sex is a way to draw us closer, but i feel otherwise. I love him very very much, but i'm pulling myself away coz i'm scared he plays me out again. i'm forever comparing how he treats me and her, but keeps it all to myself.
What should i do? i love him deeply, but is it the right thing to continue this relationship, or should i put an end to it. i'm also afraid that i might lose him both as my love and as a friend.
It's critical cases likes that worries me. How I go in peace?
***
Dear starangel,
He was your long awaited love; someone you long to be with very much, somewhat a fantasy figure from young. You know how powerful is this seduction, this fantasy, this deluded love? - he turned you into someone foolish enough to allow him to leech you badly. You loved him, yes - but have you ever wonder if he's the same, in reality?
Flat no.
You first mistake appeared when you willingly allow yourself a 'Fark buddy' status. Deep in your heart, it isn't something you want, however, it's somewhere near. This man you loved, doesn't mainly take advantage of you - HE KNOWS YOU WILL SUCCUMB TO HIM. He knows your weakness. He knows he could trap you emotionally and pillage whatsoever you could give him. No man would complain of additional sex, so don't let his screwing excuses cast doubts and confusion. You wonder if it is for Love again? Read the two words paragraph above. He can love another girl, and simultaneously enjoy additional sex with you. This was never love - what does it takes for you to wake up and shatter your own dreams?
To be brutely frank: How can a fark buddies upgrade to a be a respectable girlfriend? No you can't and even if it did happen, the result is likely to be the same negative end. Reasons being:
(I) If you are a potential girlfriend material (Venus Influence) - you will end up being a gf NOT a fark buddy (Mars Influence)
(II) He's relationship to you is born of lust not love. Love cares, protects, guards and give. When he is in a relationship with you, you two end up making out. WTF? My dear girl, read carefully what I am going to say now: If I were to remove the sex part in your relationship, you two have absolutely no reason to be together.
(III) You think he loves you that's why returned and enters into a relationship with you? He wants sex from you and he knows that he can't have it without you entering a relationship with him. You know why you accepted? You fear losing all form of ties, connection and bonds with him and naively accept what he wants. To tell you frankly, eventually, you will still leave him because it is to your advantage to do so. Your fear is your weakness. You are afraid to lose him? In the first place, he wasn't meant to be, you started out with ZERO, so why are your demanding to end at 50 (at least a friend?). No man will love a woman truly he hold no respect for - you are the woman.
You will eventually drive him out of your life. Question remains: When? Keep heeding your past fantasy for him, you will never be able to move on. Yes you can still retain the relationship by giving him sex - but you can never build love upon it, just like you could never 'promote' to a respectable girlfriend from being a 'fark buddy'. Wanna prove me wrong? You will die and your heart will be crushed beyond hope of recovery in your attempt to do so. This is not love's challenge - this is pure karma.
Snap out of your illusion!
P.S: Are you a Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces?
Cheers -
I sympathize with you. I know how it is like to have this weakness, to love someone so much that you are willing to let him hurt you times and again. Soemtimes maybe you do feel helpless because you can't seem to control yourself and end up going back to him.
I think every human being is controlled by their emotion to some extent. Since he stirs up a lot of emotion in you, I think the best way is to just not see him for the time being. Give your heart time to heal. Spend time with yourself, with your friends. Tell yourself he is not worthy of your love and attention because he is just using you to his own advantage.
Hopefully one day you will meet someone right for you. Someone who will treat you right and not just use you for his own satisfaction.
i.c.y -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
There's no need for me to say much oso.. most of them are telling you the same thing.. no matter how much you read.. whether you listen anot.. is up to you.. If you continue to delude yourself into such r/s.. you never come to a good end.. You think that he can love from then on.. NO! There's never love involved.. Girl.. Wake up.. Go wash your face with cold water.. and sit down calmly.. and breathe... think about your r/s with him.. What's the reason of being together?? It's critical cases likes that worries me. How I go in peace?
***
Dear starangel,
He was your long awaited love; someone you long to be with very much, somewhat a fantasy figure from young. You know how powerful is this seduction, this fantasy, this deluded love? - he turned you into someone foolish enough to allow him to leech you badly. You loved him, yes - but have you ever wonder if he's the same, in reality?
Flat no.
You first mistake appeared when you willingly allow yourself a 'Fark buddy' status. Deep in your heart, it isn't something you want, however, it's somewhere near. This man you loved, doesn't mainly take advantage of you - HE KNOWS YOU WILL SUCCUMB TO HIM. [b]He knows your weakness. He knows he could trap you emotionally and pillage whatsoever you could give him. No man would complain of additional sex, so don't let his screwing excuses cast doubts and confusion. You wonder if it is for Love again? Read the two words paragraph above. He can love another girl, and simultaneously enjoy additional sex with you. This was never love - what does it takes for you to wake up and shatter your own dreams?
To be brutely frank: How can a fark buddies upgrade to a be a respectable girlfriend? No you can't and even if it did happen, the result is likely to be the same negative end. Reasons being:
(I) If you are a potential girlfriend material (Venus Influence) - you will end up being a gf NOT a fark buddy (Mars Influence)
(II) He's relationship to you is born of lust not love. Love cares, protects, guards and give. When he is in a relationship with you, you two end up making out. WTF? My dear girl, read carefully what I am going to say now: If I were to remove the sex part in your relationship, you two have absolutely no reason to be together.
(III) You think he loves you that's why returned and enters into a relationship with you? He wants sex from you and he knows that he can't have it without you entering a relationship with him. You know why you accepted? You fear losing all form of ties, connection and bonds with him and naively accept what he wants. To tell you frankly, eventually, you will still leave him because it is to your advantage to do so. Your fear is your weakness. You are afraid to lose him? In the first place, he wasn't meant to be, you started out with ZERO, so why are your demanding to end at 50 (at least a friend?). No man will love a woman truly he hold no respect for - you are the woman.
You will eventually drive him out of your life. Question remains: When? Keep heeding your past fantasy for him, you will never be able to move on. Yes you can still retain the relationship by giving him sex - but you can never build love upon it, just like you could never 'promote' to a respectable girlfriend from being a 'fark buddy'. Wanna prove me wrong? You will die and your heart will be crushed beyond hope of recovery in your attempt to do so. This is not love's challenge - this is pure karma.
Snap out of your illusion!
P.S: Are you a Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces?
Cheers[/b]
You can put an end to this.. Whether you lose a friend or anot.. this is another issue.. Stop hurting yourself..This doesn't do good.. In the end.. YOu are the one who lose out.. and he gain every single thing! It is worthwhile? Loving someone who treated none other than jus a playing toy? Get out of his life.. and move on.. After this precious lesson.. i know you will someone who will love you more than you do..
P.S.: Yunnie let's see if you got correct.. i know why you name all water signs.. hahhahaah... emotionals over ruled the brain.. Put love too important in life.. willingly to give anything jus for the love!
Cheers.. -
Thank you all for the feedbacks.
Though the answer is clear, i hope i find the courage to take actions soon.
Its obvious i'm living in denial... disappointment.
BTW, Yunhaier: i'm a saggi. -
saggy
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You should and must make desicion fast.. Don't drag anymore.. Don't cry.. don't worry.. Everyone has his own story.. yours might not be the worst case of all.. But then however.. you can be awaken.. it's still not too late..Originally posted by starangel:Thank you all for the feedbacks.
Though the answer is clear, i hope i find the courage to take actions soon.
Its obvious i'm living in denial... disappointment.
BTW, Yunhaier: i'm a saggi.
Nothing is predestined; Obstacles of your past can be the gateways of your new beginnings..
Cheer up gal.. -
Originally posted by starangel:Thank you all for the feedbacks.
Though the answer is clear, i hope i find the courage to take actions soon.
Its obvious i'm living in denial... disappointment.
BTW, Yunhaier: i'm a saggi. Practice the power of mutable energy a saggi has to move on. You are likely to have affliction in 8th house/Venus, Moon and Mars. (Mars likely to conjunct Venus).
You know what you should do.
Courage?
You have the warhammer on your hand.
Would you dare to shatter the crystal ball, containing your fear, that lies in front of you with the warhammer?
You can take your time to find your courage, but the result would be the same.
How long do you need to drain yourself? One year? Two years?
You have already lost this relationship.
And everyday you bleed from your loses.
How enlightened are you to acknowledge and recognise this? And to put a complete stop to your wounds?
Cheers -
WAKE UP!Originally posted by starangel:BLAH
BLAH
BLAH
What should i do? i love him deeply, but is it the right thing to continue this relationship, or should i put an end to it. i'm also afraid that i might lose him both as my love and as a friend.
Everyone can see that he is just making use of you... -
2 words
sex partner
thats all u will ever amount to -
Indeed, it's very hard for you to turn your back on someone whom u love for so long....whether more rationally or irrationally...Originally posted by starangel:Thank you all for the feedbacks.
Though the answer is clear, i hope i find the courage to take actions soon.
Its obvious i'm living in denial... disappointment.
BTW, Yunhaier: i'm a saggi.
But have you ever wondered there's someone out there who can put the sparks back to ur eyes, bring back your smile, make u feel safe, secured, special and warm..filling you with utmost love tt u have never imagined and keep you warm in his arms....
let it go, starangel....cry your heart out.....if u want to....
And shed no tears for this stranger who will leave no footprint in your life anymore. -
Just Another Sex Buddy Story...
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tink this guy is a BasTard leh, i doubt he loves u..so i suggest u get on wif ur life..forget abt him, i know it's v. difficult but time wil prove everythg, hope u wil get a 10x better guy than him..i feel soooooo SoRRy for u..
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Is it THAT easy to give someone you love so dearly up so easily?
I tear at the thought of what i have to do.
I'm afraid of the road that is ahead of me.
I'm afraid of not having him, even as a friend. -
..it is very hard but necessary, starangel..Originally posted by starangel:Is it THAT easy to give someone you love so dearly up so easily?
I tear at the thought of what i have to do.
I'm afraid of the road that is ahead of me.
I'm afraid of not having him, even as a friend.
move on, gal.. this is not love.
my previous siggy pain is inevitable. suffering is optional. -
There are many good and better trees around.Originally posted by starangel:Is it THAT easy to give someone you love so dearly up so easily?
I tear at the thought of what i have to do.
I'm afraid of the road that is ahead of me.
I'm afraid of not having him, even as a friend.
Actually most of us love several people in our lifetime. Each time, moving on seems impossible. But time is a good medicine. Just relax, there will be a better guy where u can entrust your love faithfully and where he can entrust his love too
Moving on is painful, but standing still, will bring more pain. If u dun believe this point, u can continue to procrastinate. But I really hope not
Wishes good luck to starangel -
He is just interested in the sex and not U yourself.Ur heart might tell U to continue doing what U are doing...but I think U know it is not the eventual solution...it is not even a solution in the first place.It is just a way to escape reality.Originally posted by starangel:What should i do? i love him deeply, but is it the right thing to continue this relationship, or should i put an end to it. i'm also afraid that i might lose him both as my love and as a friend.
He doesnt deserve U as a friend...not to mention love.