sad story to share :(
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why our relationship become like this?
~~ the story below is wad i saw while i'm surfing net ~~
we married quite young and because i have a baby so no choice we must get married. After we are married we move into his parent house, because his CPF do not have enough money. Day after day my tummy stated to get bigger and bigger and my mind started to think a lot and each time i end up getting more and more angry thinking that he don care for me and my baby. We qurrel a lot in front of his parent and this incident make me dislike him more thinking that he has made me lost face. Suddenly one day he could not tolerate anymore bcos i was very rude to his mother and he slap me 2 time in front of his mother and brother and not once he try to dug me out in front of his brother that time i was five month into my pregnancy. Could said since my pregnancy he has not been treating me very well. we have our happy day too but we sill qurrel sometime but recently the quarrel started to get worst from every few month to once a month to everyday. Just don know what happen everthing he do i just don feel happy and will try to pinpoint i have abortion four time becos i don want to have anymore baby with him. I really don know wht is wrong in our relationship. i could tell he is tolerate me and each time i feel that i am so hateful, i am a bitch and sometime i really feel that i am a very bad temper person i feel so low like i am a very sinful person and he is just like a very kind person whom i am alway bully him. A lot of people say we don look like couple and i don want to give our relationship any chance becos i felt that we shouldn't be togather we are not suitable to be together Divorce is a Big NO NO -
Hmm... She never learned her lessons.. It's her karma.. Not suitable together but yet have to force to be together.. Cos of the baby.. One time.. 2 times.. 3 times.. 4 times.. when you are together as bf/gf.. is different from a married couple.. That's so much responsibilites and burden to carry on...Originally posted by jolin80:why our relationship become like this?
~~ the story below is wad i saw while i'm surfing net ~~
we married quite young and because i have a baby so no choice we must get married. After we are married we move into his parent house, because his CPF do not have enough money. Day after day my tummy stated to get bigger and bigger and my mind started to think a lot and each time i end up getting more and more angry thinking that he don care for me and my baby. We qurrel a lot in front of his parent and this incident make me dislike him more thinking that he has made me lost face. Suddenly one day he could not tolerate anymore bcos i was very rude to his mother and he slap me 2 time in front of his mother and brother and not once he try to dug me out in front of his brother that time i was five month into my pregnancy. Could said since my pregnancy he has not been treating me very well. we have our happy day too but we sill qurrel sometime but recently the quarrel started to get worst from every few month to once a month to everyday. Just don know what happen everthing he do i just don feel happy and will try to pinpoint i have abortion four time becos i don want to have anymore baby with him. I really don know wht is wrong in our relationship. i could tell he is tolerate me and each time i feel that i am so hateful, i am a bitch and sometime i really feel that i am a very bad temper person i feel so low like i am a very sinful person and he is just like a very kind person whom i am alway bully him. A lot of people say we don look like couple and i don want to give our relationship any chance becos i felt that we shouldn't be togather we are not suitable to be together Divorce is a Big NO NO -
tat's true i agree with wad u said but it's not easy to be husband n wife than being an couple somemore for the rest of yr lifetimeOriginally posted by SunRisE:Hmm... She never learned her lessons.. It's her karma.. Not suitable together but yet have to force to be together.. Cos of the baby.. One time.. 2 times.. 3 times.. 4 times.. when you are together as bf/gf.. is different from a married couple.. That's so much responsibilites and burden to carry on... -
Dear jolin80,
I do believe the pair is rather young?
Perhap maybe ard 21 to 25?
Maybe its due to the inablity of independence that force the pair to stay w the in-laws?
Seriously i even doubt the sincerity of the love for the marriage??
I feel that getting married in this case is to find a traditonal way to be responsible for the baby. Sad but true, it however wont solve the prob.
Getting married under such circumstances will often result in premature ending of a marriage if its not handled properly. Basically the pair will face a social stigma and financial crisis. The frens and relatives will bound to ask you all unpleasent qns and bound to make u all `lose face`, thus constituting to the stress.. Financially, i feel that the guy may not be bringing enough home.
I know your story comes from within the girl`s point of view.
but have you put yourself in his shoes?
I`m sure he`s also face w the same like of pressure as the girl.
Imagine all the pressure the faces at work and worrying how he should split his earnings to his family and to return home w a wife full of probs?
To make any marriage a successful one,
IT TAKES TWO HANDS TO CLAP.
The wife and husband must accomodate each other and understnds each other`s difficulty
Qurrels are comon in couple but everyday surely reflect some prob tt`s left unsolved. Take sometime to think abt what`s the root of the prob and slove it!
And yes, havin an abortion 4 times is surely a problem. The mother will be affected both emotionally and physically. FYI, multiple abortions may cause future miscarriages to happen. If u don want the baby, take basic precautions!
If you all are really not happy together, then i may have assumed that the love have already been gone. Then what`s the point to be together even when u think DIVORCE is a BIG NONO?? You know you won`t be happy.
You`re still young. Take sometime to think what you really want out of your life w the husband. If you decide to keep on the marriage, do something abt it before it detiorates to the state where a DIVORCE is the ONLY solution. It takes 2 to keep a marriage goin on. Work it out w the hubby calmly.
Best wishes,
BaByBoY -
thks for yr reply BB
well to mi marriage = commitment, trust, loyalty, understanding -
Hmm... You speaks just like Yun..?Originally posted by SunRisE:Hmm... She never learned her lessons.. It's her karma.. Not suitable together but yet have to force to be together.. Cos of the baby.. One time.. 2 times.. 3 times.. 4 times.. when you are together as bf/gf.. is different from a married couple.. That's so much responsibilites and burden to carry on... -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Hmm... You speaks just like Yun..?
ehehhee... dun tell anyone that i'm actually yun!! ahhahha... soon yun wont be around.. ahhahhaah.. i have capture yun and lock yun up!! yun will impart yun's skills to me!!
MUAUAUHAHAHHAHAHHA... *siao liao*
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alot of things you wont get to see when you are in a r/s as a bf/gf... Things or habits will start to show when you live together.. on the other hand.. you need to accept their habits.. Moreover.. they started a family be cos of baby.. not becos they both are mentally prepared to get married.. and willingly to live with each other for the rest of their life... Is an uncontrolled situation..Originally posted by jolin80:tat's true i agree with wad u said but it's not easy to be husband n wife than being an couple somemore for the rest of yr lifetime
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yeah it's really sad when u're bounded by responsibility and not love.
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wahahaOriginally posted by SunRisE:
ehehhee... dun tell anyone that i'm actually yun!! ahhahha... soon yun wont be around.. ahhahhaah.. i have capture yun and lock yun up!! yun will impart yun's skills to me!!
MUAUAUHAHAHHAHAHHA... *siao liao*
BOW TO MASTER SUNRISE!!~~!! -
Master or Mistress?Originally posted by BaByBoY:wahaha
BOW TO MASTER SUNRISE!!~~!!
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I second that....Originally posted by SunRisE:
ehehhee... dun tell anyone that i'm actually yun!! ahhahha... soon yun wont be around.. ahhahhaah.. i have capture yun and lock yun up!! yun will impart yun's skills to me!!
MUAUAUHAHAHHAHAHHA... *siao liao*
Ki siao.
Cheers -
yun #2 is
SunRise ;p -
Hi Jolin,Originally posted by jolin80:why our relationship become like this?
~~ the story below is wad i saw while i'm surfing net ~~
we married quite young and because i have a baby so no choice we must get married. After we are married we move into his parent house, because his CPF do not have enough money. Day after day my tummy stated to get bigger and bigger and my mind started to think a lot and each time i end up getting more and more angry thinking that he don care for me and my baby. We qurrel a lot in front of his parent and this incident make me dislike him more thinking that he has made me lost face. Suddenly one day he could not tolerate anymore bcos i was very rude to his mother and he slap me 2 time in front of his mother and brother and not once he try to dug me out in front of his brother that time i was five month into my pregnancy. Could said since my pregnancy he has not been treating me very well. we have our happy day too but we sill qurrel sometime but recently the quarrel started to get worst from every few month to once a month to everyday. Just don know what happen everthing he do i just don feel happy and will try to pinpoint i have abortion four time becos i don want to have anymore baby with him. I really don know wht is wrong in our relationship. i could tell he is tolerate me and each time i feel that i am so hateful, i am a bitch and sometime i really feel that i am a very bad temper person i feel so low like i am a very sinful person and he is just like a very kind person whom i am alway bully him. A lot of people say we don look like couple and i don want to give our relationship any chance becos i felt that we shouldn't be togather we are not suitable to be together Divorce is a Big NO NO
It's a sad story and things end up so bad. First of all, being pregnant is not easy as you are carrying a baby inside you. I understand that pregnant woman can sometimes be over sensitive and start to imagine things that are out of proportion.
Your husband is wrong for hitting you but you are also in the wrong by being rude to his mum. By the way, are u staying with him and his parents? If so, it will be much more complicated. Try to solve all these problems between both of you and leave out your parents and his parents. They have no right over you! You have your mind of your own and you are big enough to think and know what you want in this marriage. There are few alternatives for you to choose. You can try to go to a counsellor and seek their help in solving your problems.
By saying you are a very low down woman or some other bad names, you are telling yourself that you are giving up. Have more confidence in yourself. If this marriage doesn't work out, give it up. Dun waste your energy and time in a relationship which doesn't work out in the first place. This is the last resort that you can opt for if things doesn't work out. Most importantly, it's your baby. It's your responsibility to take care of him and your husband is oblige to take care of him. Try talking to him. If he's mature enough, he can solve problems without his parents intereference. -
Few more things to add. Being married young is also disadvantage as both of your thinkings are very immature and never understand what's marriagae life and there are lots of hidden issues which you will never realise. Adn when things happen, both of you start to quarrel and make things worse. Both of you are not ready for a very long commitment which is for life!Originally posted by BLIM:Hi Jolin,
It's a sad story and things end up so bad. First of all, being pregnant is not easy as you are carrying a baby inside you. I understand that pregnant woman can sometimes be over sensitive and start to imagine things that are out of proportion.
Your husband is wrong for hitting you but you are also in the wrong by being rude to his mum. By the way, are u staying with him and his parents? If so, it will be much more complicated. Try to solve all these problems between both of you and leave out your parents and his parents. They have no right over you! You have your mind of your own and you are big enough to think and know what you want in this marriage. There are few alternatives for you to choose. You can try to go to a counsellor and seek their help in solving your problems.
By saying you are a very low down woman or some other bad names, you are telling yourself that you are giving up. Have more confidence in yourself. If this marriage doesn't work out, give it up. Dun waste your energy and time in a relationship which doesn't work out in the first place. This is the last resort that you can opt for if things doesn't work out. Most importantly, it's your baby. It's your responsibility to take care of him and your husband is oblige to take care of him. Try talking to him. If he's mature enough, he can solve problems without his parents intereference.
I understand that it will be hard for you to support a child alone without your husband. But you have to think back, what if after a few years, problem start coming back, what are you going to do? You might think that a woman carry a child can never find another man who loves them, you are wrong. We are living in a liberal society and it's not ashame. Humans make mistakes and we must not make the same mistake again in future. Treat this relationship as a lesson. It's like when you fall down, stand up again and walk straight and not look back at the past!
If you are not ready or your man is not ready for a commitment relationship, give it up immediately! Dun waste your time and energy. Think of your baby as a motivation for you to move on and something to live for in life. Concentrate on your child and yourself. You can support yourself and earn money for you and your child. Being independant is better than dependant. Sometimes divorce is not a bad thing. It does't mean that you are bad, divorce is when a couple can't live together and nothing can salvage the relationship!
You have to make a decision! You are old enough and think what's best for you and your child first as it's the top piority! ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOUR IN LAWS HAVE NO RIGHT OR POWER OVER YOU!!!!! -
I'm juz trying to give u a short description of yr problem... communication.
Most couples face this problem... sometimes a couple has to communicate with each other more often. Thus, mutual understanding can be achieved. Try working on this area before we advise u on other areas... step by step... no rush... u will see the positive effect later... ~~~
Be positive as well!!! ~~~ -
... sad
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eh?? i dun deserve that.. only standby when yun not around.. hahaaOriginally posted by BaByBoY:wahaha
BOW TO MASTER SUNRISE!!~~!!
am still not as good as yun.. or devil or some other ppl there! -
Originally posted by Axelheat755:Master or Mistress?
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Ki siao oso you "ZAO CHENG ONE" hahaOriginally posted by Yunhaier:I second that....
Ki siao.
Cheers -
NAH!! i'm not lah.. hahhaOriginally posted by jolin80: yun #2 is
SunRise ;p -
mian qiang si mei you xing fu de
I pity the kid.... going to live in a family filled with quarrels and fights.
If you are not ready to get marry.. DON'T
If you are not ready to be parents.. DON'T
If you are not ready to have sex and face the consequences.. DON'T
DON'T make other sufffer for YOUR mistakes -
Originally posted by X-men:mian qiang si mei you xing fu de
DON'T make other sufffer for YOUR mistakes -
i feel abit got diff...cos both advice me b4 in PM.....Yun is mayb more on general side to sum thing up,but sun is more detail or should i use the word "Pinpoint" the exact thing...Originally posted by Devil1976:Hmm... You speaks just like Yun..?
But dunno lah..Who Ever Give Gd Advice Rules... -
Originally posted by bo liao:i feel abit got diff...cos both advice me b4 in PM.....Yun is mayb more on general side to sum thing up,but sun is more detail or should i use the word "Pinpoint" the exact thing...
But dunno lah..Who Ever Give Gd Advice Rules... 
Yunnie advice is good if you understand and really study and read thru what he wrote..
you soon get what he means..