Originally posted by wan2bet:
Can anyone help me? I have a problem and that is I just want to forget..as well as to see what is the opinions of others. I really do. Because of this problem, I cant concentrate on my studies and in the end, I din even study for my exams! Now I can only hope to pass. Anyway, here is what happen.
Recently, in June 2004 my mum rented out a room to 3 Malaysians - 2 males who are cousins and the third is the older cousin's mum. I am currently 18 and they are 19 and 21 respectively.
After a month or so after they moved in, I hit it quite well with the younger Malaysian guy the one who's 19. Soon, we were going out together. Nevertheless, I soon fell for him. I have also no idea why I liked him. At that time, since I did not know him so well, I did not tell him. Pretty soon, he was asking me to accompany him to buy handphone and he waited for me for over an hour to finish my work. A week later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I had my reservations about it though I like him very much and told him no. But he persisted and on the 3rd day I accepted. I was very happy as he was very good towards me.
But one day, my world came crashing down when about 8 days after we were together, I saw a message for him that was from his hometown. I then found out that he had a girlfriend back home already. And that, they had been together for close to 3 years already! But he lied to me that He did not have a girlfriend from the start when he moved in. Anyway, as I was very angry I confronted him. He then said that it was nothing one. He is not very happy in that relationship, and that he no longer had any feelings for her. He asked me to give him some time when I demanded that sicne he did not have any feelings for her to break it off but he did not want to. My friends then told me to break it off with him.
But I did not. We went on like this for quite some timeÂ… quite happily and told me not to think so much about the Malaysia side as he really has no feelings for her and that he will no longer be going back there already. But, my pride got in my way again and This matter had then been weighing a lot on my mind and I broke up with him on the day when we went out happily to take a photo. I then told him I did not want to talk to him but he begged me to still remain as his friend. At last, I agreed. This was one day before national day.
On national day, I have tickets to the parade and I had also promised my friend to go. He begged me to remain with him at home as he will be alone at home but since I promised my friend, I did not want to. He then said he will wait for me to come home. Over at the stadium, I then received a message from him saying he likes me very much and wants me to be his girlfriend. Again, I hold on to my pride a I have very high pride and I told him no unless he broke up with his girlfriend. I guess things started changing from that day. When I got back home, I saw a note from him saying that he will not be waiting up for me and that he had went to bed early.
The next day after national day, I then realised that I really cannot donÂ’t have him and messaged him to be my boyfriend. But this time, he told me he does not want to bluff me anymore and told me that he still loves his girlfriend a lot and just asked me to be his best friend. As I was quite sad, I accepted. The next day, I smsed him again and this time he agreed to be my boyfriend on the condition that if one day I was to break up with him, we would still remain as friends. I agreed to that condition.
Things were back to normal and he went all out to make me happy. And I was really very happy and contended during that period that we were back together. But like what others always say, good times never last and things changed again. His girlfriend initiated a breakup with him. He then broke that news to me saying that he does not know if to me, itÂ’s a good thing or a bad thing. When he said that, I knew now for sure my relationship with him would also soon be over. This was on a Tuesday.
By Saturday time, he was really moody and he kept crying. When I saw him like that, my heart ached for him and I decided to contact his girlfriend for him. And got him to talk to his girlfriend. They did not patched up. But on Sunday, he then told me he wants to cool it off and temporary does not want to be in a relationship. He then told me to wait for him. I agreed.
On thurs when all of them were off to work, I went into their room and took back the note that I had written for him and kept it. Upon discovering it missing, he then asked me about it. I bluff him and told him I threw it away. He then asked me why. I said itÂ’s no longer important. He then proceed on to say that although itÂ’s not impt to me, it is very impt to him. As my mum was in the living room at that time, we ended the conversation. When I told my friends about this, they told me it was just sweet talk only.
Unknown to me, he suddenly went back to Malaysia without informing me at all. Suddenly insecure and also angry, I just assumed that he went back to find that girl. And so, I smsed him saying I will no longer be waiting for him anymore. After sending that message I wanted to retrieve it back but could not longer.
Things started to change for the worse from that day onwards. When he came back from Malaysia on Monday, he moved back into his room to sleep, and ignored me, not even talking or looking at me. I was very hurt, very hurt.. but upon his good friend intervention (his good friend scolded him), he was back on talking terms with me, but still only a few words like hi Â… byeÂ…
anyway, this went on for the whole week and again on thurseday he went over to his good friendÂ’s house to stay. On Friday, I then realised that his girlfriend had came over to Singapore looking for him to patch things up with him. She called me many times and at last, out of frustration, I gave her his good friendÂ’s hp number. And from there, she asked him out and on that day itself, they patched up.
Things turned again after they patched up. And I only understand why when his good friend explained to me. It was that he did not want to patch up with that girl already, and that is why he went over to his good friendÂ’s house to stay not wanting her to find him. And also that week he went back to Malaysia is because of some family crisis and not because of her. When I heard that, I had many regrets over the things that I had done and said to him. But his good friend told me that she would help me in many ways she canÂ… but things would still be different as they patched back on conditions one.. and one of the condition is that he must not talk to me nor his good friend.
Our friendship then went on like that.. on just a hiÂ… bye basis. Until just recently, his girlfriend found out about mine and his relationship. As previously I had promised him I would not tell his girlfriend about this, and so, I had not. But when they had a quarrel, she brought this into their quarrel and told him that I had told her when I had not. I found out about this from his good friend. And when I confronted him with this, I told him I promised you and so I did not say.. want to believe or not is up to you.. and he replied me.. I am not angry la. DonÂ’t talk so much ok. From that reply, I knew that he had not belived me. I was very angry.
His friend then told me it does not matter who say one. Now what is important is that he is only waiting for November and that if his girlfriend carry on being so suspiscious of him, he would break it off with her. His friends advised me not to care so much about their relationship and let them work it out on their own. His friends said that if they were to break up, his girlfriend would think that he had patch up with me, and that it was all not her fault. From this I knew, I knew that even if they were to break up he would not return to my sideÂ…
From that day onwards, he was back on ignoring me. I was bewildered. My friends told me that from right from the start, he was just playing around with meÂ… never serious. They told me it could be that he sensed that I like him, and so had pursuit me.. what do you all think? Can love really vanish just like that? I had just broke up with him for 2 months and it was not my wish.. can he just donÂ’t care for me, donÂ’t even care about our friendship, forget on what he made me promise him when we patch up together? What do you all think? I want to chase him back but my friends advise me against doing so, as it is obvious he does not like me nowÂ… what do you think? Can someone give me some advise?
Wah.. Miss ah.. Your post hor.. I read till my eyes go blur manz.. I think i will analysis things for you in a pt form.. Or you will be blur by reading it also..
Firstly, these Malaysians come over to rent a place from you.. In a mth and you are attached to him.. Don you think is rather a fast step? Are you sure in the first place that you like him alot or is it because of his looks or something external charmed you?? You are taking a step way too fast...
Next, you mentioned that you found out that he has a gf that is in malaysia.. And they are attached for 3 years? is it not clear enough that he is trying to bluff you or rather play with your feelings?? ask yourself this..
IF you have a bf whom you have been together for 3 years.. and you go overseas to work.. A guy find you attractive.. He chases you.. He finds out that you have a bf back home... You tell him that you wanna break off with him.. knowing very very well that you love him still.. what happens after that?? (Its the exact senerio except that he is doing that to you now.. )
When I read the part on you standing firm that you did not wanna go back to him because of your pride.. I was abt to say.. you did a good job.. But i immediatly change my mind when i read on.. No matter what, you should not have given in so fast.. And you should stick to your mindset that if he really loves you and not his gf.. THan both of them should be seperated.. And he would rather give 100% of his heart to you.. Instead of giving you the excuse that he will break up with her etc...
Both of you are just like a comedy.. One day.. he beg you to go back to him.. and the next you beg to him to go back to you.. WASSSSUUUPPPP with both of you manz???
I believe that he is still with her now?? What i suggest you to do is to keep way out.. and i mean away from him and her.. If he or she contacts you to ask abt the other party's where abt, either don pick up the phone or if you wanna pick up the phone.. Just say you dunno..
This problem is not 100% is fault or yours.. Both of you have a role in making this r/s both successful and a failure... And it turn out the latter.. Learn from mistakes.. Its so obvious that he has been lying to you since day 1 that he is with you.. Wake up girl.. Don't fall into his lies any more..
Looks like there is no way you 2 could be back together.. Even if yes, things will not be the same.. As when a mirror is cracked, no matter what, the hair line crack will still be there..
Cheer up.. There are other nicer guys out there.
