how long should i wait... to forget him?

eilse

13 Oct 04, 14:51

I have wait e day for so long time already, i am waiting for the day, the day i can forget him totally;the day when people mention his name, i can say who is he; the day i can forget him as he never been to my life.....

But.... Why it is so hard!
I have wait for this day for one year already. still remember him so well, remember everything...

How long i have to wait, how to reach to the day that i forget him?
How Crying or Very sad

OrneryBoy

13 Oct 04, 14:54

It's hard to forget a person whom u ever loved

almost impossible... but time will heal you...

PatrickLTH

13 Oct 04, 15:01

It will be a very long long time before you can forget another person that touches your life.

You are so free to let your mind wonder around.

Come and participate actively in this forums. Look at the other threads and help them by contributing your thoughts to the arguments and ideas put forth by them.

You will find some ideas which are interesting and some which are funny. So do enjoy yourself here and soon you will forget about him. Of course do consider participating in the coming outing SgForums BBQ2004. Best wishes and good luck.

icyprincess

13 Oct 04, 15:03

u wun forget.

but u will heal and find happiness in another person.

this is exactly the question i have asked here last time.

and now i m proud to say i have gotten over it Mr. Green

if i can do it, so can u!

i.c.y

eilse

13 Oct 04, 15:29

why all the promise became nothing when he want to leave...
why he can hurt me like that,
Why it is so easy for him to go without look back....
why....

womanie

13 Oct 04, 16:22

i agree with the forumites who replied...

it isn't possible to forget someone...

but what you can do is to forget the feelings for that someone...

it may be hard... but time fades everything away... just don't keep harping on the past... they are gone and will never come back...

move on... i'm sure you will achieve it someday... take care and good luck!

OrneryBoy

13 Oct 04, 16:25

you can't live in your memories..

must be strong and move on... Wink

kops21

13 Oct 04, 16:29

They are better option in front... Wink

Give N Take
Love N Share
Forgive N Forget

Devil1976

13 Oct 04, 17:09

What an Ex of mine once told me... And it's of the few 'enlightenments' from her which I think truly make sense..

"When your loved one promise you something, it's probably true at that point of time... And he / she probably means it with all his / her heart... But sometimes situation might just change... He / she probably really mean it very much back then..."

Treasure your life for it's happy moments too.. And learn not to dwell on only the unhappy ones... Cool

Justy

13 Oct 04, 17:55

I found it hard too, until i learnt to move on. If you remain stationary, nothing would change for you even if time keeps passing by. Everything you see will still remind you of him and bring tears to your eyes...

But remember that he has left and is moving on while you're still dwelling in the past. Find your direction in life and move on! With or without him! And if someone else should come into your life, so be it! If not, so be it!

??????????????

Danisdead101times

13 Oct 04, 17:59

well...i think its really very hard to forget about him,alot of people likes to deceive themself that they have forgotten someone but the actual fact is that all the things have gone into memories...some is good,some is bad,some is sad,some is happy,some is sweet and some is bitter memories...to me actually you can't toatlly foget about someone,unless you have a serious brain damage... Mr. Green

An Eternal Now

13 Oct 04, 18:09

you can't totally forget the memory, but you can turn it into a sweet memory which you can look back and smile at. Everything is impermanent and transient, it's a law and fact of nature that you have to accept. So treasure what you have right now (becos everything is transient), but don't feel too bad when you lose something (becos everything is transient). Don't cling.

Magnus

14 Oct 04, 04:50

Why do u guys break up?

You may be able to let go if you know in essence, why u guys break up.
Can tell us?

Kennerve

14 Oct 04, 09:25

If that person has been close to you.. Some how or rather, a deep scar or impact will be left in you.. Some how, someday.. you will still think of him/her.. Just get on with your life.. and be happy with it.. Don let someone who have affected you so much to make you stop at where u are. Wink

SunRisE

14 Oct 04, 09:45

Let him be in your memory.. Remember only those good times together.. yes it did leave a very deep scar in you.. But try to let go.. Open up yourself more.. Try to talk more about this person.. once you get so used to talking about this person.. you soon feel that he no longer interest you or feel nothing for him at all.. Reverse psychology.. it might work!

Don't keep thinking of how to forget him.. like that no matter wat you never forget him... think of how to lead a better life without him... think positive and not negative..

Cheers.. Wink

kIppEr

14 Oct 04, 09:47

look @ e + sign of it....
nez time u might be able 2 put tings down easiler after u get over wif tis 1...

the Bear

14 Oct 04, 09:48

go out, meet new people, have fun...

let time wear that away... do stuff you enjoy doing by yourself.. find out new stuff you enjoy doing with others...

take your mind off him...

after a while, you'll remember him, without the hurt...

you can start by meeting the nice people who organise stuff and events in the other forums...

like the football/pub/meet each other night in 1 1/2 weeks, or go to the year-end barbeque (see my sig and click on the pic)

after a while, you may learn to think back without pain...

be well yah?

OrneryBoy

14 Oct 04, 09:57

yeah come meet us at outings

supercharger

14 Oct 04, 17:24

sorry to hear about what you went through. the painful bits caused by all the unfulfilled promises, promises of a future and of things to come, things that you looked forward to... apart from other reasons this is one of the reason why it hurts so bad... all the promises.

How long it takes really depends on how much you have given of yourself and how much you have expected out of the relationship that you had. The amount of time you guys spent together also have a bearing on how long it takes to heal.

For serious relationships, it can afew years to completely get over a relationship. sorry I'm not kidding. But that does not mean that you actually need so much time to heal... NO! how fast you heal will depend on what you actually do to help the healing.

But during this period it DOES NOT mean that you are incapable of forming new relationships. Its just that until you heal, you will to a greater or lesser extent continue to feel the little tingle of hurt in your heart but it will fade with time.

Its not really productive to talk about forgetting someone... it more like dont think about someone and when you do, you dont experience that little pain in your heart. That is real healing.

So what can you do to help yourself heal in the meantime... giving yourself time and dont rush the "forgeting" part... time will do it for you when you purposely choose not to think about him. when now and then he pops in, its ok thats normal... just gently push it out.. bit by bit you wil think of that person less.

Next, talk to someone, ventilate your pain and frustrations and disappointment about the promises and hopes that you had and now dashed... talk these things out... get the emotions out of your heart and head then after that analyse it and learn from your relationship if there is anything to learn about loving and giving and about knowing THE TRUTH about a person PROPERLY.

Often when we grieve, we dont see the proper and complete picture... we tend to idolise the guy/girl and still cannot see the wrong tht the person did or that we are all ready to forgive etc... you need to vent your emotions first before your head can absorb and after your head has absorbed the truth, bit by bit your emotion will start feeling different.

it has always been your head that controls your emotions... how you think will dictate how you feel! and love is also the same... you think love you feel love!

(That is why when anyone wants to talk sense into a hurting person... first thing to do is not to talk sense but let the person vent all the emotions otherwise he will never see the sense bec the emotion is blocking the mind.)

So while you are doing the above, in the mean time, go out, circulate, make new friends. But please dont try and get into a new relationship so soon. A new relationship cannot help heal the old hurts infact it will make it worse.

jumping from one relationship to another is very damaging to yourself. of course it feels good to be wanted but guess what, sooner or later, the old hurts/problems from the last relationship will surface and guess what ... the new relationship will also start (like every relationship) have prolbems and you end up having to deal with 2 sets of problems!! This is why getting into a relationship to try try see if it works is a very expensive way to find out if you guys are compatiable.

It takes time to clear the baggages from the last relationship anywhere 6months 1 year to 2 or even more years. But what is most important is that you clear the baggage.

Let me give you an example that I think will sound really familar to alot of people reading this thread... new guy does something that irritates you, but this is the first time he has done this thing so he doesnt know that it irritates you... but you over react and you feel inside... why is it always like this... or why is he always doing this.. or you simply blow your top more than the situation would normally deserve! why is that?? Thats bec the irritation left behind by the ex hasnt cleared like a computer cache or buffer.. the irritation has built up so it takes very little to cause you to blow... that is one simple example of not clearing your inside of the last relationshp before going into the next one.

take care

audlenelee

14 Oct 04, 17:55

it's not easy.... prolly i wun be able to heal so soon too....

cutecuteboy

14 Oct 04, 22:29

Well... I took 172 days to forget her and it wasn't a easy journey to go by.. Was silently weeping to myself at times when noone's lookin..

Haha..
But ... believe me, love yourself back.. Love yourself first before you can even walk out to look at another great guy coming by..

Dun be swallowed up by the past bitterness, memories and all the bad things, whatever you can think of.

Dun listen to sad songs.. listen to those songs that can kinda be uplifting or be stronger for your soul..

I cannot express myself well.. but I am quite sure you know what I am saying cos I just gotten past a few days back. Haha!!!

Dun be down, make more friends! There's a very big sgforums BBQ coming up. I am most prob going. So should you!! Wink

Be happy, walk away, dun look back. Put down everything as soon as you can. Believe that you are growing up each and everyday and this relationship teaches you so much more than you will beleive for now.

Believe that you will get a super duper great guy. Maybe not now, maybe not even 1 year later, but he WILL come..

Be happy and believe you can do it!!

If you are into religion, go for ur cell grps or temple mediation then.
If you like going chiong.. go!! But dun get too drunk wor..
If you like to spend time quietly healing yourself, be it. Go library, go shopping, make yourself preety, eat nice food, dun be afraid to make yourself pretty.

There are 6 billions ppl on earth and 4 millions ppl in Singapore, why you CANNOT get someone suitable for you?
Perhaps he wun be better than ur ex in all ways, but surely he will be more suitable for you. Wink

If you are into music like hip hop, R&B, PM me!! keke...

Okie la.. 1st time I write so long fro someone I dun even knw.. But I just gooten past my hurt and I wish I can share it with anyone out here who is in the midst of healing yousrself now..

Buai buai... Mr. Green

101wish

15 Oct 04, 00:48

dun force urself..jus let nature goes..of coz it's difficult to forget the one tat u once loved b4..perhaps make urself more busier?? Rolling Eyes

HENG@

15 Oct 04, 00:50

oh dear quite long wor... took about... 400+ days Smile

fymk

15 Oct 04, 06:21

You won't forget but you will learn the harsh lessons in life . Just move on and do something else other than think about the guy. Go out with friends , have a coffee, get drunk ....whatever...

TaeWoon

16 Oct 04, 01:03

im oso waiting to forget her....
im in pain for a year plus already...
and worse shes attach le... my heart pains till i dunno how to say...
http://market.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=93421