how to change a lifestyle of a ger..part2
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Firstly wanna thanks all those whu replied to my post..I guess u guys r right...i too blinded by her looks and words.. i too blinded by love to react in a clear mind...
anyway i called her last night again...and this wat happen....
Called her last night at 9pm cos i wanted to know how she feel. she made her point clear,saying that if i didnt call her, she wouldnt be bothered to call me.. and i kept quiet. Den i ask her if she was very vexed ( cos she sound vex)
den she told me abt her fren being caught for drug traffickin and all his fren, including her wan to help him with the bail money of 50k.
Said tt she will sell her passport and tt one of her guy fren even gay wif a guy for $$
I blunted out " bail him out for wat?", den she started to scold me. She say i was ignorant and i selfish..she say i live in my own world, and everything also think abt myself only..
Her world is totally diff...
In my world, I only have good frens
In her world, she have all the "good" fren who will help each other.
In my world, I treasure my family more than anythign else
In her world, she treasure her frens more than her parents.
In my world, i am selfish and think only for myself and not others.
In her world, she will go all out to help them.
I finally realise we r so apart from each other. She only recognise those bad company as good frens...ppl who r honest and decent as i am, will onyl be classified as busybody and dunno her "world"
i didnt wanted to quarrel. So she stopped and ask me call her later.
Den i called her at the time she stated. There was no answer den i msg her to miss call me when she is finish doing wat she wanted to do.
Called her last night at 11pm...she was in the car....I asked her why didnt she miss call me..she say tt she knew i will call her no matter wat...
AT this moment i think she had total controlled over me, she even knew i will call her if she didnt even bother abt me..haix...
And that she say is now on the way to "work"
I begun to wonder, what kind of job she can have at night? Bar girl or prostitute?? I dare not think, so i questioned her.. In e end she scold me for being very annoying and hang my call..
I didnt sleep the whole night..at 3am i sms her tellin how much i worry abt her.. She replied " dun be lame leh, my lao gong beside me, and he dun like u to sms me, can u please dun"
Total sadness overcame me...i knew tt it was impossible for me to even be fren with her. so i msg her that" is that guy the one u owe money?? i worry u do bad thing, and that death is not the worse thing that can happen to her..i get it now..and will leave u silently.."
She replied "wat that guy owe money? dun say until my bf like tt le.. U should have get it all along...yah i know death is not the worse thing, i am going thru worse. I not doing bad things"
Haix whu knows...why she had to hide wat she doing from me..
Den came a call from his bf, i didnt wanted to answer coz i knew wat he wanted to ask me to stop contactin her.
Before that, she sms me, warning me tt her bf was going to call me, even sms me 3 times to tell me becareful wat i say to her bf...
i dunno wat she meant la..wat can i possibly tell her bf...unless she also hiding stuff..
I sms her bf hp to ask him to take good care of her and he agreed....then i tried today very hard to control my depression..and now i in office...in a daze...
i dunno why a girl can change so much in a week, the week before she was really sweet and nice, and i also know from her mom tt she can be really nice to a person she like...haix...why tt moment is taken away from me...
Anyway thx all those ppl whu helped me ....it over between her and me...i hope one day she will really change...hope the best for her -
*pat pat*
at least now you know what to do next. not only thinking abt. "how to change her style". she owns her own life n u hv urs too.
if there's nothing else you can do for her, at least u can pray for her.
in that way, at least u do something.
dun be too depressed. talk to ur friends if u need to spill it out. -
STRAYED. Out of your calibre.
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Congrats, Match20.
At last u wake up.
U are not god ok.
Don't think too highly of yourself. U can't change/help everyone.
Forget her asap and start afresh.
Don't anyhow jio girls in the internet lah.....
Lucky u learnt thru the easy way.... -
Thx everyone...i was rather lucky not to be beaten up or wat...but i guess life is sometime dun go the way we wants....i jus hope she can change for the better
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Originally posted by Match20:Thx everyone...i was rather lucky not to be beaten up or wat...but i guess life is sometime dun go the way we wants....i jus hope she can change for the better
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glad to hear that you r now have clear mind and know what you should do.
I strongly believe that in near future you will surely meet someone that will be nice, much x100 better than her as your life time partner. Remember that love is a feeling between guy n girl, encourage each other. -
finally, u becoming more sensible...
Happy for ya.. !
Dont think too much...
Dont worry Be happy!
We are all here for you. -
...haix...why tt moment is taken away from me...
No it is not taken from you... it was never yours in the first place. So please do not be sad over not being able to have or possess what you "want" That is just silly and wrong. If you are sad, you should only be sad about a young promising life gone astray and you have compassion for her on that basis and that is it! No romantic emotions please and worse still no romantised notion about how your "love" can rescue her etc.. If she ever need any help, she need it from a person who is objective and fair and will tell her the truth and one who will give practical help and not another "lover".
And NO I will not therefore say that its fate this or that that broke you guys up etc. It has nothing to do with that.
When a person stop loving herself and stop respecting and valuing herself, she can become very destructive. YOu have witnessed first hand what happens to people who are so called troubled ... they have basically lost the ability to value and appreciate themselves.
It is good that you have seen this and realised that both of you are worlds apart. Again, just bec you feel for someone or someone feels for you does not make that person SUITABLE!
I admire you that you can care for a person the way you do. This says that you are a passionate person at heart. This can be a strength in your future relationship but it can also be a problem. When you allow your passion to blind you of your sound judgement, you will run into relationship problems even with that perfect girl.
Growing up is not about making money or doing all the "grown up" things, its about learning to balance your idealism and your passion with reality and your ability or lack there of and yet still remain a sound compassionate human being.
So in this instance, please do not make the mistake of carrying the "flame" for her and trying to rescue her in your heart.
You have just ran into one of life's wonderful lessons... you may have noticed and realised this wonderful powerful and yet potentially dangerous thing called Free Will or put it another way Self Determination... you determine your own destiny, for freedom and goodness or for perversion and bondage. little little choices adds up and yes rotten apples do spoil the barrel! And in her instance, she has over the years, not over night made choices that led her down this path. The only way for her to get out of this is for God to helps her out of it or she tires of her running around living like this come to a point in her life when she says enough is enough. It is only at that point in time that change will come. until then, there is not much you can do other than to live well and make good decisions yourself.
Take care fren. -
somehow I knew that was going to happen.Originally posted by Match20:Firstly wanna thanks all those whu replied to my post..I guess u guys r right...i too blinded by her looks and words.. i too blinded by love to react in a clear mind...
anyway i called her last night again...and this wat happen....
Called her last night at 9pm cos i wanted to know how she feel. she made her point clear,saying that if i didnt call her, she wouldnt be bothered to call me.. and i kept quiet. Den i ask her if she was very vexed ( cos she sound vex)
den she told me abt her fren being caught for drug traffickin and all his fren, including her wan to help him with the bail money of 50k.
Said tt she will sell her passport and tt one of her guy fren even gay wif a guy for $$
I blunted out " bail him out for wat?", den she started to scold me. She say i was ignorant and i selfish..she say i live in my own world, and everything also think abt myself only..
Her world is totally diff...
In my world, I only have good frens
In her world, she have all the "good" fren who will help each other.
In my world, I treasure my family more than anythign else
In her world, she treasure her frens more than her parents.
In my world, i am selfish and think only for myself and not others.
In her world, she will go all out to help them.
I finally realise we r so apart from each other. She only recognise those bad company as good frens...ppl who r honest and decent as i am, will onyl be classified as busybody and dunno her "world"
i didnt wanted to quarrel. So she stopped and ask me call her later.
Den i called her at the time she stated. There was no answer den i msg her to miss call me when she is finish doing wat she wanted to do.
Called her last night at 11pm...she was in the car....I asked her why didnt she miss call me..she say tt she knew i will call her no matter wat...
AT this moment i think she had total controlled over me, she even knew i will call her if she didnt even bother abt me..haix...
And that she say is now on the way to "work"
I begun to wonder, what kind of job she can have at night? Bar girl or prostitute?? I dare not think, so i questioned her.. In e end she scold me for being very annoying and hang my call..
I didnt sleep the whole night..at 3am i sms her tellin how much i worry abt her.. She replied " dun be lame leh, my lao gong beside me, and he dun like u to sms me, can u please dun"
Total sadness overcame me...i knew tt it was impossible for me to even be fren with her. so i msg her that" is that guy the one u owe money?? i worry u do bad thing, and that death is not the worse thing that can happen to her..i get it now..and will leave u silently.."
She replied "wat that guy owe money? dun say until my bf like tt le.. U should have get it all along...yah i know death is not the worse thing, i am going thru worse. I not doing bad things"
Haix whu knows...why she had to hide wat she doing from me..
Den came a call from his bf, i didnt wanted to answer coz i knew wat he wanted to ask me to stop contactin her.
Before that, she sms me, warning me tt her bf was going to call me, even sms me 3 times to tell me becareful wat i say to her bf...
i dunno wat she meant la..wat can i possibly tell her bf...unless she also hiding stuff..
I sms her bf hp to ask him to take good care of her and he agreed....then i tried today very hard to control my depression..and now i in office...in a daze...
i dunno why a girl can change so much in a week, the week before she was really sweet and nice, and i also know from her mom tt she can be really nice to a person she like...haix...why tt moment is taken away from me...
Anyway thx all those ppl whu helped me ....it over between her and me...i hope one day she will really change...hope the best for her
Anyways you take care. On the bright side, you got out of a situation before it became way too troublesome. Next time, a girl tell you she is bad ...better to believe it than to be sorry. I am sure there are nice girls around. -
lol.. she so young where can sell passport.. nobody will buy one la.. shes making up stories again.. knn tok cock... shes just trying to act pathetic again..
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she is just too young to think for herself...
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well...you stopped digging your own grave.that's a nice start.Originally posted by Match20:it over between her and me...i hope one day she will really change...hope the best for her 
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Haix...last night i didnt sms or call her whole day...den at night she suddenly sms me
" i'm sorry.."
simple and sweet, and it make me rekindle feeling for her...
my tots is that she done all those nasty things to me jus to make me forget abt her coz she thinks she not worth of me...haix..
why she so foolish..
what is she tryin to tell me by sayin sorry...tat she regret everything she done or that she cant be with me cos our world is diff??
i still dun get her...den i replied askin her why say sorry..and there wasnt any reply le.. -
Originally posted by Match20:Haix...last night i didnt sms or call her whole day...den at night she suddenly sms me
" i'm sorry.."
simple and sweet, and it make me rekindle feeling for her...
my tots is that she done all those nasty things to me jus to make me forget abt her coz she thinks she not worth of me...haix..
why she so foolish..
what is she tryin to tell me by sayin sorry...tat she regret everything she done or that she cant be with me cos our world is diff??
i still dun get her...den i replied askin her why say sorry..and there wasnt any reply le.. DEEP... -
i thought u see thru everything liao.. why still think abt it again.. dun ever let her drag u by the nose and go.. dun be soft-hearted... trust me.. shes giving u this little sweetness and later on she " hang on sell " ( diao4 qi3 lai2 mai4 ) .. after which u will fall deadly into her "trap"Originally posted by Match20:Haix...last night i didnt sms or call her whole day...den at night she suddenly sms me
" i'm sorry.."
simple and sweet, and it make me rekindle feeling for her...
my tots is that she done all those nasty things to me jus to make me forget abt her coz she thinks she not worth of me...haix..
why she so foolish..
what is she tryin to tell me by sayin sorry...tat she regret everything she done or that she cant be with me cos our world is diff??
i still dun get her...den i replied askin her why say sorry..and there wasnt any reply le..
good love dun come by easily.. u think u can meet any tom dick harry from friendster and fall in love and live happyly ever after?? even if u 2 get together.. this type of love aint strong enough to withstand long..
u are not able to change her and bring her to the good path.. WHY?? coz of her age... dun most of the ppl wants freedom when hes young .. and dun most ppl think that rebellious is cool when hes young..? of course not all.. but some.. and sadly i believe that SHE falls into this catergory...
secondly.. shes not willing to change for you.. becoz she doesnt like u that much.. or rather can i say that she did not even like u... think again.. if u like a person .. arel u willing to change for that person.. yes of course!! take for instance u are willing to change for her like u did say b4!
forget abt this and move on.. one day she will change HERSELF when the time comes.. now shes still young.. just let her be.. coz nobody can stop her.. i've been thru myself and i know it.. -
She's jus very cofused... here's my guess: Emotionally, she feels more for that F*** guy. Gals are like that weird one. He may treat her like shit, but she still stand by him.Originally posted by Match20:Haix...last night i didnt sms or call her whole day...den at night she suddenly sms me
" i'm sorry.."
simple and sweet, and it make me rekindle feeling for her...
my tots is that she done all those nasty things to me jus to make me forget abt her coz she thinks she not worth of me...haix..
why she so foolish..
what is she tryin to tell me by sayin sorry...tat she regret everything she done or that she cant be with me cos our world is diff??
i still dun get her...den i replied askin her why say sorry..and there wasnt any reply le..
Rationally, she MAY feel apologetic, some feelins to you..
Anway here's a sincere advice: Leave her alone. You are frm 2 diff world, the differences will eventually tired u out. -
how to change a lifestyle of a ger
U can't change her lifestyle.. more practical is to change urs. Step by step:
1) Shed ur goody 2 shoe image, go get ur hair dyed (like Andy Lau in True Mob Story), tatooed urself & wear a thick gold chain
2) Next, make connections to join the gangs (mafia)
3) Plan ur revenge. Get some help frm ur connections.. teach that F** guy a lesson. -
Why she did not reply u?Originally posted by Match20:Haix...last night i didnt sms or call her whole day...den at night she suddenly sms me
" i'm sorry.."
simple and sweet, and it make me rekindle feeling for her...
my tots is that she done all those nasty things to me jus to make me forget abt her coz she thinks she not worth of me...haix..
why she so foolish..
what is she tryin to tell me by sayin sorry...tat she regret everything she done or that she cant be with me cos our world is diff??
i still dun get her...den i replied askin her why say sorry..and there wasnt any reply le..
She actually sent to some other guy lah.
Then accidently sent to u.
Seriously,
You are 'in love' with her words, not her real person.
You even decide that u want to be his bf even without first meeting her.
You precieve what u want to precieve.
Even 2 short words can trigger you with so much thoughts.
You came a long way, my friend.
Don't fall again. -
Friend, listen to RagingWhirlWind, A Beautiful Mind and Magnus. She said sorry to you doesn't mean that she repented liao or willing to change. She knows your weakness - soft-hearted and want to control you. She treats you as an idiot and you are not aware of this (she might play mind game).
Frankly speaking, I knew this type of girl very well as I have been gone through such thing... eg. she did hug me and cried, saying that "I m sorry, I know I m not good, aledi hurt you. I promise that I will change and love you forever, please forgive me.... blah..blah..". I know that normally a guy will be soft-hearted and promise her that he will love her more and protect her.
BUT LET ME TELL YOU THE TRUTH - Dun trust her unless she aledi totally changed (it must be feedbacks from somebody else, not from herself, and not in a short of time, it takes months or years for someone to chang). Otherwise she will lead you to painful depression and you have nothing left, even worse is that she might tell "You fool, I juz played you like an idiot!!! Actually my heart died liao that time I said sorry and love you... Now if you want to die, please go far away from me!" It really happened to me.
So... only ONE conclusion - DUN TRUST HER, live in your own life without her. -
i feel so hard to get out of her control...
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CUT OFF the communication and IGNORE her TOTALLY... That is the ONLY WAY if you can't handle the situation...Originally posted by Match20:i feel so hard to get out of her control... -
i agree.Originally posted by Devil1976:CUT OFF the communication and IGNORE her TOTALLY... That is the ONLY WAY if you can't handle the situation... -
Dude.. next thing you know, she's asking you to traffic drugs for her.
Ya gotta draw the line somewhere.
Don't go near this girl... not at all. -
FORGET HER. ISN'T IT OBVIOUS YOU TWO DO NOT BELONG TO EACH OTHER?