con't to my problem...
-
alright.... he didnt call me yesterday... and as usual, i'm sad.. depressed... when i have time to rest, i'll just start thinking about him... and leading myself on to the problem... especially yesterday... i was mugging hard all the way to 12plus... started having this splitting headache.. feel so weak and wanted someone to be there for me... to hug me tight in the arms, pat me to sleep like a baby or something like that... i just mean that i felt realli sick and weak la.. and yes, he was the first to appear in my mind... but rite at the moment, i realise he is not here for me.. and he never was... almost all the time... all those bad tots, possiblities of breaking up to just end my pain appeared in my mind again... i feel so torn apart...
sometimes i wonder why i'm going thru so much pain for someone who seems to be not bothered about me. (p/s: i feel so becoz he seems busy and not calling me as often as before but i dunno if he's realli bo chup me). it's like i may not be pretty.. but i'm definitely not ugly? i do noe of other guys who likes me and i have rejected or tried keeping a distance from them becoz i wanted to stay faithful to him. i'm not like some lao char bo whom no one wants u noe... i noe i have my own identity, my x factor and all tt which other guys so appreciate... am i silly?
i noe i have said that i want to hold on to it in my last topic but it seems a bit too tough for me... all those discouraging tots keep appearing... and it's not like he's doing anyhting to cheer me up or little things whcih will make me feel better.... haiz.... i dunno...
and i got this silly idea.. i dunno whether it's silly...? it's like since we're not as close as before, i shouldnt let him touch me anymore rite? no kissing no hugging... would tt be weird? -
Let him know about it again... See what he say or do about it..? Afterall, you're his gf....
If you feel that you really can't take all this after you've made yourself clear to him, perhaps its time to move on to a better future...? -
but how should i put it? "hubby, i cant take it anymore...bla bla bla..." like that? i dunno how to put it across and not make it sound like i wanna dump him..coz i dun.. i love him.. but it's all that painful.. but of coz, if it's gonna get worse, den i rather break off la..
-
hmmm no need to use the words 'cannot take it anymore' so early.
cannot take it anymore sounds like 'i want out'...
so if u really wanna be out, then use those words. -
er... so suggestions? tt's y... i dunno how to put it... i've been dropping hints... even ever complained to him quite a few times.. but nth seems to change.. everynite i wait for his call, even when i guessed that he wont be calling.. like after 12... i'll stay up to do my revision until at least 12.. and wait for his call at the same time.. everytime, i'm disappointed... it has become such a daily routine... i think about him at about 11pm.. den my nose will become sour and red.... den i feel like crying... my eyes turn teary.. sometimes when i cant take it.. i'll just break down into tears and cry to sleep... wad the hell.... how should i put it across to him so that he knows how terrible i feel and hopefully both of us can do sth to work this out...?
-
love is such a painful thing
-
Have a talk with him. Tell him your expectations & what u want from the relationship- some care & concern.
If he is unable to give u this, then break up.
No point hanging on if u are unhappy & it is one-sided.
As u say, u are attractive & should have no problem getting another bf- someone who will appreciate u. -
Only use this when you're really quite convinced that you really can't take it anymore and want OUT of the relationship... As a LAST straw.. I've always believe a final 'warning' is always better than nothing...?Originally posted by cOnFuSiOn:er... so suggestions? tt's y... i dunno how to put it... i've been dropping hints... even ever complained to him quite a few times.. but nth seems to change.. everynite i wait for his call, even when i guessed that he wont be calling.. like after 12... i'll stay up to do my revision until at least 12.. and wait for his call at the same time.. everytime, i'm disappointed... it has become such a daily routine... i think about him at about 11pm.. den my nose will become sour and red.... den i feel like crying... my eyes turn teary.. sometimes when i cant take it.. i'll just break down into tears and cry to sleep... wad the hell.... how should i put it across to him so that he knows how terrible i feel and hopefully both of us can do sth to work this out...?
When you're crying one of the nights, call him... Let him know the situation... That you really can't take it anymore and wanna leave him... If there're not much concern... It probably is really coming to the end of your relationship....
Good luck?
In any case, understand that no matter how much you want or like something.. Sometimes you just have to let go so that you can breathe in a wider sky.... Having yourself trapped just won't solve anything.... -
hm... i think i'm gonna call him today.... later at nite perhaps... may be start with aksing him how he is and if he's busy? den start on how i have been feeling and stuff? think this will work?
-
Maybe not...? Especially if you've been doing the same thing over and over again... He probably would have gotten sort of numb to it...?Originally posted by cOnFuSiOn:hm... i think i'm gonna call him today.... later at nite perhaps... may be start with aksing him how he is and if he's busy? den start on how i have been feeling and stuff? think this will work? -
Make him jealous by openly going out with other guys, or spread rumours that you are to give him the impression you are
By doing so you can also enjoy yourself and get romantic feeling and stuff, which is what u want with ur current bf right???
Alternatively, you can eat lots of chocolate. -
I guess love becomes painful only when the longing and waiting comes in.
An expert said this. Take a look at love. WHat is it? IT's the fact that you feel for a person. Yet when you add in the longing for the person and the waiting for his little act to remind yoursef that he remembers you, you become miserable. When you take this longing and waiting away, love is just a feeling. So when you love one person, and the other person love or don't love you it's his or her feelings. Nothing to be miserable about. But the longing and waiting is the part that is making you miserable. and it is what that is making YOU miserable now too.
Try to ignore that longing and waiting (and I know it's hard). Ask yourself if you still feel for that person. This will determine if you want out or not in your relationship. What I meant by ignoring the longing and waiting is, if you need to sleep before 11pm sleep. Why bother to wait for that phonecall? If he can't reach you then, he'll call you again. He'll make an effort to do something. WHy are you putting in so much effort and feeling miserable when he doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact that you don't call? Coz he's NOT the one longing for it. So make yourself happy. Ignore the longing and waiting.... maybe you'll keep the r/s going even better.
hope that helps. -
o well, thanx for all these advices... especially this one.. great... u;re a junior member? how young r u? sound pretty philosophical... anyway... i got rid of my pain... but i brought new and more intense one... but this pain will probabaly not last tt long.... ya... i broke up with him finally... i cried like hell when i was tokign to him on the fone... i seriously dun understand guys...Originally posted by Starletz:I guess love becomes painful only when the longing and waiting comes in.
An expert said this. Take a look at love. WHat is it? IT's the fact that you feel for a person. Yet when you add in the longing for the person and the waiting for his little act to remind yoursef that he remembers you, you become miserable. When you take this longing and waiting away, love is just a feeling. So when you love one person, and the other person love or don't love you it's his or her feelings. Nothing to be miserable about. But the longing and waiting is the part that is making you miserable. and it is what that is making YOU miserable now too.
Try to ignore that longing and waiting (and I know it's hard). Ask yourself if you still feel for that person. This will determine if you want out or not in your relationship. What I meant by ignoring the longing and waiting is, if you need to sleep before 11pm sleep. Why bother to wait for that phonecall? If he can't reach you then, he'll call you again. He'll make an effort to do something. WHy are you putting in so much effort and feeling miserable when he doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact that you don't call? Coz he's NOT the one longing for it. So make yourself happy. Ignore the longing and waiting.... maybe you'll keep the r/s going even better. hope that helps.
i asked him if he loves me... and he said he still do... but he said there's no point in commiting into the relationship becoz he has no time for me.. wad is this man... that was one of the factors i was considering before i agreed to be his gf... he promised that it'll be ok... and in the end? sigh.... i'm super cock eye.... he didnt wan to break up... or rather he said that he thinks that our present state is gd enuff... ya gd for him becoz he always have someone there for him when he needs her... but he never tot how i'm taking it.... i'm always alone... waiting and waiting... he was never there for me.. he has never done anything for me.... i'm so silly... so stupid.... what's the point of keep me when u cant commit into the relationship? it's not fair to me, is it? why is he so selfish? i'm disappointed... totally.... -
Girl, You are most welcome. Junior member I am, philosophical maybe I'm not. Thanx for that thoughOriginally posted by cOnFuSiOn:o well, thanx for all these advices... especially this one.. great... u;re a junior member? how young r u? sound pretty philosophical... anyway... i got rid of my pain... but i brought new and more intense one... but this pain will probabaly not last tt long.... ya... i broke up with him finally... i cried like hell when i was tokign to him on the fone... i seriously dun understand guys...
i asked him if he loves me... and he said he still do... but he said there's no point in commiting into the relationship becoz he has no time for me.. wad is this man... that was one of the factors i was considering before i agreed to be his gf... he promised that it'll be ok... and in the end? sigh.... i'm super cock eye.... he didnt wan to break up... or rather he said that he thinks that our present state is gd enuff... ya gd for him becoz he always have someone there for him when he needs her... but he never tot how i'm taking it.... i'm always alone... waiting and waiting... he was never there for me.. he has never done anything for me.... i'm so silly... so stupid.... what's the point of keep me when u cant commit into the relationship? it's not fair to me, is it? why is he so selfish? i'm disappointed... totally....
double duckie in age. Wonder if you understand that. 
Well, if breaking up is the best choice for yourself YOU GO GIRL I SUPPORT YOU! However, it's not a bad ending I believe. Because, at least you know you weren't alone in the love department. Juz that the need department, you were alone. that's all. get what i mean? If you think that's the best of all.... then that's good. Like I had said earlier, Love is the feeling. YOur feelings were reciprocrated right? Juz not your need of him being there... that's alright. Disappointment sets in only when expectations are set. If he wants you to be with him, and realise how important you are to him, he'll return. At that time, let him know your expectations and give time for them to happen. Working towards them together. Well, if he's not yours, he was juz not meant and fated to be. Girl, at that time, you juz have to say "He was juz not THAT into me." and it's hard to accept that. but that's alright coz someone that is MEANT FOR YOU will appear. and I believe, YOU ARE A GIRL WHO DESERVES SOMEONE THAT'S MEANT FOR YOU AND WILL BE THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU NEED HIM. Do remember, it's the longing and waiting that makes a relationship painful, ignore it.... 
-
but also a pleasant thingOriginally posted by monkeybusiness:love is such a painful thing 
-
you really make yourself confused.. junior member doesn't mean she/he is young.. it means that the say they join is young.. see.. is 5th oct.. hehhehee..Originally posted by cOnFuSiOn:o well, thanx for all these advices... especially this one.. great... u;re a junior member? how young r u? sound pretty philosophical... anyway... i got rid of my pain... but i brought new and more intense one... but this pain will probabaly not last tt long.... ya... i broke up with him finally... i cried like hell when i was tokign to him on the fone... i seriously dun understand guys...
i asked him if he loves me... and he said he still do... but he said there's no point in commiting into the relationship becoz he has no time for me.. wad is this man... that was one of the factors i was considering before i agreed to be his gf... he promised that it'll be ok... and in the end? sigh.... i'm super cock eye.... he didnt wan to break up... or rather he said that he thinks that our present state is gd enuff... ya gd for him becoz he always have someone there for him when he needs her... but he never tot how i'm taking it.... i'm always alone... waiting and waiting... he was never there for me.. he has never done anything for me.... i'm so silly... so stupid.... what's the point of keep me when u cant commit into the relationship? it's not fair to me, is it? why is he so selfish? i'm disappointed... totally....
-
Yeah what Starletz strumpet Said is very WISE. Oh yeah and junior member does not = young/brash/unwise..Originally posted by cOnFuSiOn:o well, thanx for all these advices... especially this one.. great... u;re a junior member? how young r u? sound pretty philosophical... anyway... i got rid of my pain... but i brought new and more intense one... but this pain will probabaly not last tt long.... ya... i broke up with him finally... i cried like hell when i was tokign to him on the fone... i seriously dun understand guys...
i asked him if he loves me... and he said he still do... but he said there's no point in commiting into the relationship becoz he has no time for me.. wad is this man... that was one of the factors i was considering before i agreed to be his gf... he promised that it'll be ok... and in the end? sigh.... i'm super cock eye.... he didnt wan to break up... or rather he said that he thinks that our present state is gd enuff... ya gd for him becoz he always have someone there for him when he needs her... but he never tot how i'm taking it.... i'm always alone... waiting and waiting... he was never there for me.. he has never done anything for me.... i'm so silly... so stupid.... what's the point of keep me when u cant commit into the relationship? it's not fair to me, is it? why is he so selfish? i'm disappointed... totally....
Just like I am a Senior Member,, and i am by far the most cynical, tainted, unbelievably stupid forumite ever in Sg forums.. and am far from being able to offer any sound advice.
so just forget him and MOVE ON. -
Mr Cynical, tainted, unbelivably stupid forumite, I believe I've neither offended you or stepped on your tail enough for you to use the wordOriginally posted by men_@_arms:Yeah what Starletz strumpet Said is very WISE. Oh yeah and junior member does not = young/brash/unwise..
Just like I am a Senior Member,, and i am by far the most cynical, tainted, unbelievably stupid forumite ever in Sg forums.. and am far from being able to offer any sound advice.
so just forget him and MOVE ON.
"strumpet" on me. I refused to sit in silence and allowed to be insulted. if you do not agree to what I had said you can oppose to it, but a personal insult is seriously not what I deserve. -
U are showing her a steep cliff and shoving her down.Originally posted by men_@_arms:Make him jealous by openly going out with other guys, or spread rumours that you are to give him the impression you are
By doing so you can also enjoy yourself and get romantic feeling and stuff, which is what u want with ur current bf right???
Alternatively, you can eat lots of chocolate.