i still cant 4get him after 2yrs.saw him recently and shock
-
hi, need help. afterbreak off with my ex,its been 2 yrs and i still cant 4get him.akthough both of us has got partners now,im still afriad to see him,when i jus celebrate my 2 yr anniversary with my current bf,i saw him straight in my eyes...so shock and sianzzz.got to realisethat he is leading a good life anadlost alot of weight...
how to recover?i still cant recover.....
im hiding my feelings veri much and my current bf dun even no...i no im goin to hurt my bf but i jus cant recover that im with my ex for 3yrs ,accompany him for army and in the end, he backstab me and went for another in university...im so sad...alwaz wana cry but i tahan.... reli feellike crying...
so tired.. -
It is hard for people to forget someone so easily... U may have got on in ur life, found another partner, yet still pine for him.. Whenever one go into a relationship.. No matter how short or long it is.. It will be forever in our heart, be it gd or bad..Originally posted by Joellebabe:hi, need help. afterbreak off with my ex,its been 2 yrs and i still cant 4get him.akthough both of us has got partners now,im still afriad to see him,when i jus celebrate my 2 yr anniversary with my current bf,i saw him straight in my eyes...so shock and sianzzz.got to realisethat he is leading a good life anadlost alot of weight...
how to recover?i still cant recover.....
im hiding my feelings veri much and my current bf dun even no...i no im goin to hurt my bf but i jus cant recover that im with my ex for 3yrs ,accompany him for army and in the end, he backstab me and went for another in university...im so sad...alwaz wana cry but i tahan.... reli feellike crying...
so tired..
Forgetin someone is impossible.. The person whom u chose to marry, may not necessary be the person tat u love most.. Haha.. Sometimes.. De bu tao de ai qing si zui tian mi... (The love u can't get, is usually the most sweetest).
Feel tat mayb is the hurt that he has done.. U feel tat.. The relationship shouldn have ended tis way.. Tat u still long for it to continue..
Duno how advice u also.. Jus tat.. If he can get on wit his life, so can u! In fact, u gonna show him tat life is happier without him to upset u! Why get upset over someone who wouldn care to be bothered by u? Is not worth it.. Focus ur attention on ur current bf bah.. Treasure the relationship tog.. Cheers!
-
It's the PAST.. Just enjoy your current relationship...?Originally posted by Joellebabe:hi, need help. afterbreak off with my ex,its been 2 yrs and i still cant 4get him.akthough both of us has got partners now,im still afriad to see him,when i jus celebrate my 2 yr anniversary with my current bf,i saw him straight in my eyes...so shock and sianzzz.got to realisethat he is leading a good life anadlost alot of weight...
how to recover?i still cant recover.....
im hiding my feelings veri much and my current bf dun even no...i no im goin to hurt my bf but i jus cant recover that im with my ex for 3yrs ,accompany him for army and in the end, he backstab me and went for another in university...im so sad...alwaz wana cry but i tahan.... reli feellike crying...
so tired.. -
Don't let the past rob you of the present, make the best of the moment and cherish it.
-
Don't moving forward, don't look back. You might hurt yourself and others.
-
jiu ai hai shi zhui mei???
-
Are you saying that all the while you have been treating your current bf as a substitute of your ex??Originally posted by Joellebabe:hi, need help. afterbreak off with my ex,its been 2 yrs and i still cant 4get him.akthough both of us has got partners now,im still afriad to see him,when i jus celebrate my 2 yr anniversary with my current bf,i saw him straight in my eyes...so shock and sianzzz.got to realisethat he is leading a good life anadlost alot of weight...
how to recover?i still cant recover.....
im hiding my feelings veri much and my current bf dun even no...i no im goin to hurt my bf but i jus cant recover that im with my ex for 3yrs ,accompany him for army and in the end, he backstab me and went for another in university...im so sad...alwaz wana cry but i tahan.... reli feellike crying...
so tired..
You know that he has moved on.. and better than yours.. then why are you still dwelling about this.. you should also be living a better life than him.. let him be the one to be shock when he sees you.. let him know that he let go of someone good..
Now you got your current bf.. wat is past is past.. you cant let go because you feel that he betrayed you.. betrayed your trust.. not becos you still have feelings for him.. Let him go.. If you bear hatred.. forever you never ever gonna forget for good.. Once cried.. and be gone with it... He's not worth crying over... Change your hatred to forgive.. if you can.. soon after... you slowly get over him.. These 2 years.. you still havent forgotten how he backstabbed.. and not how happy you both are together.. or how much loved there is...
Is a bad experience.. let it be a lesson learnt.. Get on and move on with your life... Lead a much better life than him.. if you thinking of how to "revenge".. this is a good way.. to show to him..
Cheers... -
ÕÅѧÓÑ - �ü�Ë¿ÞOriginally posted by Joellebabe:alwaz wana cry but i tahan.... reli feellike crying...
so tired.. -
Yes it can take quite a long time to recover. recovery depend on how much you gave of yourself to him emotionally and physically. unfortunately the more you give before marriage especially physically the harder it is to move on.
The amount of time it takes also depends on how much time and effort you had spent processing and working through and digest what had happened in your heart and mind. If all you had done is just ignored the pain that will slow you down somewhat. From what I gathered, it appears that you had entered in to your current relationship quite soon after the break?? This has the disadvantage that you didnt have the time to process the pain left behind. Like all relatonship pains you will have to deal with it sooner or later. there is often no hiding. (so guys/gals try to give yourself a couple of months to recover before going into the next one bec you dont want to have to deal with the pain in the middle of a good relationship)
having said the above, the most damaging aspect of what had happened to you is the fact that it appears that your hurt comes from feeling betrayed. you felt betrayed bec he choose someone else and didnt keep his promise (???) to you.
Broken promises and breach of trust hurts the most. bec not only do you have to deal with the trust issue, his action of choosing someone else makes you unconsciously or consciously feel that you are not as attractive or as worth it as the other girl. yourself worth is accordingly damaged. That is why 2 timing or 3rd party intrusion or adultery are so damaging to the one cheated on!
Now that you have discovered that you have this unresolved hurt, the first thing to do is to come to terms with it. you will need to deal with some of these issues if they apply to you
1) YOU will have to persuade your heart to start seeing him in cold day light that he is not as wonderful as you had made him out to be. Yes he was nice and may actually be a nice person but in your heart you have given him the status as if he can do no wrong. That will hinder you from seeing him as he is and releasing him
2) consciously start letting go of memories, even memories that you had treasured yes they were sweet but you cannot really keep them without exploding. so when something comes to you mind, tell yourself, I let this part go... you will struggle, you may even cry and refused bec it seem like so much a part of you but you have to let the memories go.
3) put aside all the stuffs that he gave you, do it all at the same time, dont put one thing awya then next thing tomorrow etc. that will increase your pain. box everything up, either return them or throw them away or keep them in some corner out of your sight. dont go to them anymore for the next many many months or even years. the day will come when you see the item and you will not have that pain
4) forget and forgive your ex for the betrayal that you feel. This will be hard but you can do it. you will feel angry or even sad but whatever it is tell yourself he is not worth your time anymore and his promises were empty bec by his action he had proved them to be empty promises. At this time dont start justifying for him about maybe he did this or that bec.... or you had done this or that to push him away... etc... whatever it is dont try and justify his actions for him! you learn from your own actions if you had been selfish, you change. if you drove him away, you change but dont say yea I did this so I deserve it. change your ways and you will never need to feel as if you deserve it etc.
5) focus on what you have today, enjoy your current bf's attention. tell yourself that what you have now is real. spend the time and energy to build up your existing relationship and inject energy and fun and make it memorable. Memorable doesnt mean SEX. It means having a complete understanding of the other person's heart and mind!. I agree with what M said
so focus on the present and take this time to heal yourself. you dont want to ignore this and put your future relationship in to trouble.Originally posted by M:Don't let the past rob you of the present, make the best of the moment and cherish it.
take care -
If u love your current bf, how can u still keep thinking of your ex?
Don't because u WANT a bf than anyhow grab one.
Please lah if u don't love your current bf, break off with him lah.
Don't waste his time. -
thanks for all the help u gave..i jus had a big quarrel with my bf now..he said i didnt give him respect but he jus wants to know everything of my life, who i talk to,the details, jus hate it!!!!
feel like breaking up with him but i know he is putting in alot for me which i cant bear to see him suffer too...
how how? -
Does your ex want to make up with you? Does he know that you still love him?
-
I guess the shock of seeing yr ex, brought back all the memories.
But tell yourself that this guy ditched u for someone else.
He is not worthy of u. Think of all the unhappiness he put u through.
U should concentrate on yr current bf. Don't have to tell him yr past if u don't want to. Show yr ex, u have got on with your life. -
SORT things out SLOWLY with him...Originally posted by Joellebabe:thanks for all the help u gave..i jus had a big quarrel with my bf now..he said i didnt give him respect but he jus wants to know everything of my life, who i talk to,the details, jus hate it!!!!
feel like breaking up with him but i know he is putting in alot for me which i cant bear to see him suffer too...
how how?
-
-
A bird in hand is better than 2 in the bushes.
-
Jenny used to love Mike very much. On the other hand, Mike always said he likes her too, but he already has a galfriend. Mike says Jenny is attractive.However, Mike repeatedly disappoints her, dont turn up for dates, etc. Still Jenny cling on to the hope that he likes her. This hope drags on and wasted for 3 years. Mike is still with his galfriend but always SMS Jenny with sweet words. One final day, Jenny felt that she has been living in her own dream which will never comes true. She threw away all stuffs belonging to Mike, erase his email and handphone. In a period of time, living out of Mikes' shadow. It is a struggle for her but she manages to stand on her feet now. She is now living happily having peace of mind.
Let bygones be bygones -
dittoOriginally posted by M:Don't let the past rob you of the present, make the best of the moment and cherish it.