Need some advice please!~
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Dear Friends,
Please help me out with this problem I have. Last week I finally asked a girl out. I liked her for the past year. She is very popular in school, and is part of the student union. She is very friendly to everyone, and always has a smile on her face. When she agreed to go out with me, I was overjoyed. No words can describe that feeling.
We went out, and she asked me questions like.. If i had anyone I like right now. (Which I did not answer and tried to change topic). She was also very interested in finding out with kinda of girl I liked. She also told me about her personal life, and her experiences with her bf and why they broke up. She even made a joke about how she was going to marry me so that I can get a work permit in Taiwan, but I would have to pay her money for it. I believe that the date went extreamly well. She even called me 15 mins after I sent her home to check if I was all right.
I was over the moon. I thought that I might actually have a chance with this girl. My dreams were dashed these few days though. And i have no idea why. I went out with her last Saturday. On Monday she had to goto the doc's for a check up. I decided to give her a call to see how she was. This was the first call I made after that date. No one answered the phone, no one called me back. I send an SMS, and that wasn't replied either. I called her again on tuesday, and the same thing happened. No one answered the call. She didn't even call me back. I saw her on MSN later that day, and asked her out for dinner. She told me she don't feel comfortable going out on a weekday, and she had a test the next day. I said "okies, maybe the weekend then". She replied. "Yah.. proberly weekend la." Today, I sat on the bench near her class as i did for the past 2 months, waiting for her to pass by. She always passes by that corridor. But today, I saw her talking another route. I don't know if she is avoiding me.
Please help guys. I'm 22, never had a girlfriend, never had any experience chasing girls, and I really do not know how girls think. I mean. I thought that the date went pretty well, what happned!? not answering my calls and such. I'm so confused. Please help me and share your views! thx! I always have this naive dream that I will wait for a girl I truely love and give her my all. I have rejected alot of girls who are wonderful people, but I do not feel strongly for because of my dream. Is this really an impossible dream? I'm really so tired... I know its a long read, and thanks for being patient enough to go through it. -
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Try to find out more from herself...?
Just a wild guess... Maybe she've heard rumours about you...? Such things happen... -
Devil - Should I just go ask her whats going on? How should I do it?
I don't think anyone could be spreading rumors about me though. I only have a few friends in my school in Vancouver. maybe like 3- 4 close guy friends..
Its so confusing.. 180 degree change in her attitude.. -
You're in the same school together I presume? Why dunch you just talk to her and ask her how's she has been and that you were worried that she wasn't returning your calls. Just say it in a friendly manner... DUN BE DEMANDING, DUN BE ABUSIVE!Originally posted by Cyrel:Dear Friends,
Please help me out with this problem I have. Last week I finally asked a girl out. I liked her for the past year. She is very popular in school, and is part of the student union. She is very friendly to everyone, and always has a smile on her face. When she agreed to go out with me, I was overjoyed. No words can describe that feeling.
We went out, and she asked me questions like.. If i had anyone I like right now. (Which I did not answer and tried to change topic). She was also very interested in finding out with kinda of girl I liked. She also told me about her personal life, and her experiences with her bf and why they broke up. She even made a joke about how she was going to marry me so that I can get a work permit in Taiwan, but I would have to pay her money for it. I believe that the date went extreamly well. She even called me 15 mins after I sent her home to check if I was all right.
I was over the moon. I thought that I might actually have a chance with this girl. My dreams were dashed these few days though. And i have no idea why. I went out with her last Saturday. On Monday she had to goto the doc's for a check up. I decided to give her a call to see how she was. This was the first call I made after that date. No one answered the phone, no one called me back. I send an SMS, and that wasn't replied either. I called her again on tuesday, and the same thing happened. No one answered the call. She didn't even call me back. I saw her on MSN later that day, and asked her out for dinner. She told me she don't feel comfortable going out on a weekday, and she had a test the next day. I said "okies, maybe the weekend then". She replied. "Yah.. proberly weekend la." Today, I sat on the bench near her class as i did for the past 2 months, waiting for her to pass by. She always passes by that corridor. But today, I saw her talking another route. I don't know if she is avoiding me.
Please help guys. I'm 22, never had a girlfriend, never had any experience chasing girls, and I really do not know how girls think. I mean. I thought that the date went pretty well, what happned!? not answering my calls and such. I'm so confused. Please help me and share your views! thx! I always have this naive dream that I will wait for a girl I truely love and give her my all. I have rejected alot of girls who are wonderful people, but I do not feel strongly for because of my dream. Is this really an impossible dream? I'm really so tired... I know its a long read, and thanks for being patient enough to go through it.
Ask her if she has watch any movies lately and maybe you can catch a movie over the weekend... *leave some hints* Be subtle... girls understand our body language very very well and pick up the hints very very easily.
I think its still quite uncertain whether she likes you after only 1 date... so give it time... dun be so anxious abt it... play it cool! = ) Unless, you want to take the fast track way of getting send her flowers? But, too fast lah... take it slow!
sk -
Eh... read my above-mentioned post about it.Originally posted by Cyrel:Devil - Should I just go ask her whats going on? How should I do it?
I don't think anyone could be spreading rumors about me though. I only have a few friends in my school in Vancouver. maybe like 3- 4 close guy friends..
Its so confusing.. 180 degree change in her attitude..
Dun be demanding and asking her what's going.... why are you not returning my calls.... blah blah....
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Thx!! for ur help... yea we r in the same school. But she is usually busy helping out in the student union, or her female friend will hang around her.Originally posted by :Eh... read my above-mentioned post about it.
Dun be demanding and asking her what's going.... why are you not returning my calls.... blah blah....
I'll try to talk to her next week about it. I'm just so confused. Just when i thought everything was going on for me.. stuff like this happened. -
heh...there is no easy way to find out. I wud suggest u go ask her. i know it is hard, but better to get it off as soon as possible. otherwise it wud torture u endlessly..Originally posted by Cyrel:Thx!! for ur help... yea we r in the same school. But she is usually busy helping out in the student union, or her female friend will hang around her.
I'll try to talk to her next week about it. I'm just so confused. Just when i thought everything was going on for me.. stuff like this happened.
this happened to me too. in my case, it is the reverse. i m a girl. and i find it even difficult to ask him. in the end i tortured myself with more and more questions until i became so overwhelmed that I had to see counselling.
so yea, my advice is...ask. fast.
i.c.y -
Well.. jus be yourself.. Don't jump to any conclusions yet.. Don't be anxious.. if you really want to find out wat really happen.. why not approach her directly.. true love are hard to come by.. You never been in r/s before.. be calm.. and steady.. She avoiding you.. maybe there might be a reason why.. You keep questioning yourself and you cant find any answers.. why not try asking her..Originally posted by Cyrel:Dear Friends,
Please help me out with this problem I have. Last week I finally asked a girl out. I liked her for the past year. She is very popular in school, and is part of the student union. She is very friendly to everyone, and always has a smile on her face. When she agreed to go out with me, I was overjoyed. No words can describe that feeling.
We went out, and she asked me questions like.. If i had anyone I like right now. (Which I did not answer and tried to change topic). She was also very interested in finding out with kinda of girl I liked. She also told me about her personal life, and her experiences with her bf and why they broke up. She even made a joke about how she was going to marry me so that I can get a work permit in Taiwan, but I would have to pay her money for it. I believe that the date went extreamly well. She even called me 15 mins after I sent her home to check if I was all right.
I was over the moon. I thought that I might actually have a chance with this girl. My dreams were dashed these few days though. And i have no idea why. I went out with her last Saturday. On Monday she had to goto the doc's for a check up. I decided to give her a call to see how she was. This was the first call I made after that date. No one answered the phone, no one called me back. I send an SMS, and that wasn't replied either. I called her again on tuesday, and the same thing happened. No one answered the call. She didn't even call me back. I saw her on MSN later that day, and asked her out for dinner. She told me she don't feel comfortable going out on a weekday, and she had a test the next day. I said "okies, maybe the weekend then". She replied. "Yah.. proberly weekend la." Today, I sat on the bench near her class as i did for the past 2 months, waiting for her to pass by. She always passes by that corridor. But today, I saw her talking another route. I don't know if she is avoiding me.
Please help guys. I'm 22, never had a girlfriend, never had any experience chasing girls, and I really do not know how girls think. I mean. I thought that the date went pretty well, what happned!? not answering my calls and such. I'm so confused. Please help me and share your views! thx! I always have this naive dream that I will wait for a girl I truely love and give her my all. I have rejected alot of girls who are wonderful people, but I do not feel strongly for because of my dream. Is this really an impossible dream? I'm really so tired... I know its a long read, and thanks for being patient enough to go through it.
Like wat sk says.. be careful of the usage of words.. and the tone while talking to her... She's not your gf.. Now.. to her.. you may be jus a friend.. so out of concern.. you asking her how have she been these days.. Busy with school work?? Or is there any problems goin on.. maybe you could help.. this and that..
You should maybe try to understand and know more about her.. Dreams are not mostly impossible.. is whether you have the capital.. the determination.. the motivation.. the spirit to go for it anot.. If now you are already thinking of giving up jus because a small obstacles then you'll never ever get what you wan.. what you dream for.. Strive for it.. But of cos.. I'm not saying banging your head against without any planning or thinking ahead...
Right now.. you have to solve the current problem and break the barrier.. Take it easy.. It doesn't matter whether you are 22 or not.. got girlfriend before or not.. Jus move slow.. and find out what happen..
Cheers..
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Short and sweet.
She's not interested in you! -
Maybe not... maybe she's avoiding him because she's got a HUGE zit on her face... or on her body so she feels that she's ugly and doesn't want him to see her in such an ugly stage....Originally posted by SwtHippy:Short and sweet.
She's not interested in you!
2 why cannot return calls or sms?
She was busy, one of her relatives died and she was attending the wake....
There's a 1000 to 1 reasons.... -
Well, why dunch you join the student union as well? I'm think this student union is something like an activity or a club right? I mean its fun and helps to expand your social circle in your school as well... and sometimes it works both ways... you see her with guys, and when she sees you with girls maybe she will start to wonder what is it that's so interesting....Originally posted by Cyrel:Thx!! for ur help... yea we r in the same school. But she is usually busy helping out in the student union, or her female friend will hang around her.
I'll try to talk to her next week about it. I'm just so confused. Just when i thought everything was going on for me.. stuff like this happened.
curosity kills the cat! -
somehow I feel U should have directly answered the question.Originally posted by Cyrel:If i had anyone I like right now. (Which I did not answer and tried to change topic). -
Ask her.. Just have a casual drink and chat thing with her... Ask her why she doesn't seems to be free to go out anymore or something.... In a CASUALLY MANNER PLEASE...?Originally posted by Cyrel:Devil - Should I just go ask her whats going on? How should I do it?
I don't think anyone could be spreading rumors about me though. I only have a few friends in my school in Vancouver. maybe like 3- 4 close guy friends..
Its so confusing.. 180 degree change in her attitude.. -
I think you need to get some thing straight first.. Going out on a "date" does not mean that you have "the chance" thingy.. DO NOT have a wrong impression when a girl agrees to go out with you.. To her.. YOU ARE JUST A FRIEND sort of thingy.. So don't be "too overjoyed" when she agreed to go out with you..Originally posted by Cyrel:Dear Friends,
Please help me out with this problem I have. Last week I finally asked a girl out. I liked her for the past year. She is very popular in school, and is part of the student union. She is very friendly to everyone, and always has a smile on her face. When she agreed to go out with me, I was overjoyed. No words can describe that feeling.
We went out, and she asked me questions like.. If i had anyone I like right now. (Which I did not answer and tried to change topic). She was also very interested in finding out with kinda of girl I liked. She also told me about her personal life, and her experiences with her bf and why they broke up. She even made a joke about how she was going to marry me so that I can get a work permit in Taiwan, but I would have to pay her money for it. I believe that the date went extreamly well. She even called me 15 mins after I sent her home to check if I was all right.
I was over the moon. I thought that I might actually have a chance with this girl. My dreams were dashed these few days though. And i have no idea why. I went out with her last Saturday. On Monday she had to goto the doc's for a check up. I decided to give her a call to see how she was. This was the first call I made after that date. No one answered the phone, no one called me back. I send an SMS, and that wasn't replied either. I called her again on tuesday, and the same thing happened. No one answered the call. She didn't even call me back. I saw her on MSN later that day, and asked her out for dinner. She told me she don't feel comfortable going out on a weekday, and she had a test the next day. I said "okies, maybe the weekend then". She replied. "Yah.. proberly weekend la." Today, I sat on the bench near her class as i did for the past 2 months, waiting for her to pass by. She always passes by that corridor. But today, I saw her talking another route. I don't know if she is avoiding me.
Please help guys. I'm 22, never had a girlfriend, never had any experience chasing girls, and I really do not know how girls think. I mean. I thought that the date went pretty well, what happned!? not answering my calls and such. I'm so confused. Please help me and share your views! thx! I always have this naive dream that I will wait for a girl I truely love and give her my all. I have rejected alot of girls who are wonderful people, but I do not feel strongly for because of my dream. Is this really an impossible dream? I'm really so tired... I know its a long read, and thanks for being patient enough to go through it.
Telling you her life experience abt her ex and things, does not mean much also.. Did it not hit you that she may just feel comfortable talking that to you?? No more no less?? Its good that you called her after her appointment to see how she is.. A good way to show that you are concerned.. In my point of view, by not picking up your call and avoiding you even when in school, have 2 factors:
1) You are at the wrong place, the wrong time and she prefer to walk the other direction that day.. or
2) Someone whom you have told a secret have told her abt ur secret and she is avoiding you..
Don't be too sensitive in your thinking and feelings.. You are 22.. not 82.. You still have many chances to get yourself a bf.. Cheer up ya? -
Originally posted by Kennerve:
BF or GF...? hmm
Don't be too sensitive in your thinking and feelings.. You are 22.. not 82.. You still have many chances to get yourself a bf.. Cheer up ya?
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Ooops..Originally posted by Axelheat755:BF or GF...? hmm -
Yeah. Like what everyone says here,
Go ask her, in a joking mannner why as if she's avoiding you.
She's a social person, maybe her friends knows about it and given in to peer pressure? -
Thx guys for all your advices. I guess I was too excited. I guess its true that there are a million reasons why she would be avoiding me, if she was avoiding me. Although agreeing to go out with me isn't a sign that she might be interested in me, hopfully its a sign that she does not hate me, and maybe just maybe I have a chance. I will try to take it very slow from now on. First on my list would be to ask her if she feels that I'm bugging her or whatnot.
Secretly liking this girl for the past 1 year is really taking a toll on me.. I think of her and her actions towards me all the time. Really tired. Do you guys think I should just write an email to her saying that I like her, and expect rejection? Perhaps then I can move on with my life. -
Which ever avenue you would try, All u need to know is the answer.
Dun be apprehensive of the outcome.
Like u said yourself, only then can u move on, be at peace with yourself. -
just go for it. and french kiss her on the spot. act like those on tv.
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Look mate. U have got to learn to NEVER be dissappointed with women. And learn 2 important phrases from Men_@_arms guide to being a man 3rd edition;Originally posted by Cyrel:Thx guys for all your advices. I guess I was too excited. I guess its true that there are a million reasons why she would be avoiding me, if she was avoiding me. Although agreeing to go out with me isn't a sign that she might be interested in me, hopfully its a sign that she does not hate me, and maybe just maybe I have a chance. I will try to take it very slow from now on. First on my list would be to ask her if she feels that I'm bugging her or whatnot.
Secretly liking this girl for the past 1 year is really taking a toll on me.. I think of her and her actions towards me all the time. Really tired. Do you guys think I should just write an email to her saying that I like her, and expect rejection? Perhaps then I can move on with my life.
1. "I am never dissappointed nor will i ever be"
2. "Shit happens"
Once u have grasped these 2 disciplines.. u will find it easy to not give a **** about girls with their weird behaviour, and u can concentrate on more productive activities.. like chasing other girls
AND u can take every relationship SLOW.
Because relationships are a matter of tug of war, just like the cold war. Think of Girls as the USSR or CCP, think of guys as the USA and its sphere of influence that should make it easier.. go slow and think about each action and think about what they mean and think of possible counter actions.. SLOWLY ofcourse -
I would think that asking her face-to-face is better.it would be good to expect rejection but be prepared to fight for your case a bit(dont push it too hard).Originally posted by Cyrel:Do you guys think I should just write an email to her saying that I like her, and expect rejection? Perhaps then I can move on with my life.
if U succeed,good.
if U dont,at least U know for sure and hopefully U also know why. -
If you jus wanna let know how you feel.. then its ok telling her.. But if you wan to step further into a relationship with her.. then i still think is better not to voice out your feelings for her first... You wan her to keep avoiding you.. and instead she might find you a "pest" to her?? Absolutely no!Originally posted by Cyrel:Thx guys for all your advices. I guess I was too excited. I guess its true that there are a million reasons why she would be avoiding me, if she was avoiding me. Although agreeing to go out with me isn't a sign that she might be interested in me, hopfully its a sign that she does not hate me, and maybe just maybe I have a chance. I will try to take it very slow from now on. First on my list would be to ask her if she feels that I'm bugging her or whatnot.
Secretly liking this girl for the past 1 year is really taking a toll on me.. I think of her and her actions towards me all the time. Really tired. Do you guys think I should just write an email to her saying that I like her, and expect rejection? Perhaps then I can move on with my life.
You can move on with your life.. Is jus that whether you wan it anot..
Cheers.. -
Originally posted by Cyrel:
she was just trying to make the conversation light and interesting for you. remember that you said she was friendly to everyone? don't think too much.
We went out, and she asked me questions like.. If i had anyone I like right now. (Which I did not answer and tried to change topic). She was also very interested in finding out with kinda of girl I liked. She also told me about her personal life, and her experiences with her bf and why they broke up. She even made a joke about how she was going to marry me so that I can get a work permit in Taiwan, but I would have to pay her money for it. I believe that the date went extreamly well. She even called me 15 mins after I sent her home to check if I was all right.I was over the moon. I thought that I might actually have a chance with this girl. My dreams were dashed these few days though. And i have no idea why. I went out with her last Saturday. On Monday she had to goto the doc's for a check up. I decided to give her a call to see how she was. This was the first call I made after that date. No one answered the phone, no one called me back. I send an SMS, and that wasn't replied either. I called her again on tuesday, and the same thing happened. No one answered the call. She didn't even call me back. I saw her on MSN later that day, and asked her out for dinner. She told me she don't feel comfortable going out on a weekday, and she had a test the next day. I said "okies, maybe the weekend then". She replied. "Yah.. proberly weekend la." Today, I sat on the bench near her class as i did for the past 2 months, waiting for her to pass by. She always passes by that corridor. But today, I saw her talking another route. I don't know if she is avoiding me.
remember that she's part of a student union; student union members are very busy. besides, girls get stressed up very easily due to exams. i know guys don't really give a damn to exams, but girls are different.
if you think that she's being very cold in her SMS reply, i can tell you that she doesn't mean it. don't think too much! she didn't return your call because she's just plain busy.
btw, DON'T confess to her. you will only land yourself in a dead end.