Originally posted by Bankrupted:
Thanks for the very sound and supportive advice.... really appreciate that....
Well, as for those who are curious to know the cause of it...well, I admit that it was due to personal greed....I dabled heavily in stocks and lost beyond my limits...... I know some people might say that I have brought this upon myself...yes, I admit that... but who doesn't make mistakes in life, right? And when we do so, are we given the chance to stand up again? That is wat i am trying to put across here...
Yes i do agree that it is hard to find your footing again. Yes many of us had been there, being carried away by the bulls and the bears. I personally came close to loosing everything as well many years back. I know how you feel.. it really sux! I had to start from zero again. Now I do not even play the market preferring to keep the little that I have earned in the many years since in FD and principal guaranteed financial products.
One of my close friend also lost everything in the market at about the same time as me. I mean everything. We admit that we got carried away and we were all greedy then.
this entire episode changed him and to a certain extent myself too. I cant speak for myself but I can at least say that he is now one of the nicest person I know, humble and stable.
Both of us struggled again to rebuild our lives and finances. It took a few years and finally we are financially independant again.
I do not know which industry or what your job or skill that you are trained in, like I said, I think there are industries that are not as sensitive. a few of the companies that I know do employ or continue to keep their existing employee even after they are made bankrupt. But yes I agree, there are many employers who do not understand.
So my approach would be this, use this humbling episode to your advantage, allow it to change the person that you are, then convey this in your outlook to life. You will find that your life experience will become so much richer than when you had the "paper gain". the simiple things in life now give great joy
Now about that job, rehearse in your head what you will say when you get the chance to attend an interview and are asked about your bankruptcy. Dont be a know it all, dont project a needy self, a desperate self. Be confident of yourself about your ability and most importantly about how you became a bankrupt and how that had changed your life and your heart. show your ernestness and your desire to work hard for your employer for your family for your kids and for yourself. I think employers, like it or not, will at least to some extent respect a person who falls, learns from his mistake and is prepared to pick himself up again with honest intergity and hard work.
In the meantime, you will need to find a job, anyjob that will help pay some of the bills. The OA will not and should not press too hard on you bec you have childrens to upkeep. talk nicely to the OA and explain to him what it is that you had been trying to do in terms of getting a job and the difficulty that you had. the OA will I think understand.
As to your friends and the potential stigma about being a bankrupt, try not to let that affect you. I know it feels really lousy. But be confident about yourself. this confidence will come when you rediscover yourself worth in your God if you believe in Him, your self worth in the person that you represent and have become and what your family and children thinks of you.
Once you have regained this self worth, you will walk taller and your speech will be different too. That will improve your life experience and will I think help with that job interview too bec your confidence will come through.
Finally I have to admit that it is a humbling experience and a painful one. But you can overcome it. Use it to rediscover the simple truth and joys in life. let it remind you that your worth as a person is no longer determined by what you have in the bank but by the person that we had become and the relationships that you have.
is this a so called "looser" way of thinking?? nope. It is I think the right way to think right from the beginning. Its just that like so many people we all got sidetracked by greed and personal ambitions and had forgotten what is truely important.
Take care and all the best with finding that job. we will be here if you need us and we will keep you in prayers.