got a problem to share
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most of my classmates are not really my friends...cos they have become too competitive...so competitive that they appear nice outside and inside, they dun care wether you need help in your work...they are selfish people to me...
what should i do? -
Be nice. Smile. Study on your own. Wait until you get out of school. Try and make a few buddy friends
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are you so weak u can't survive on ur own
o yes
welcome to society
enjoy ur stay -
but dun u have at least 1 good friend?
never mind, i am sure u can make good frens over here in tis forum
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aiyaa... you use me, i use you... that's life... try to form a study group with some similar minded classmates... if you all can click, it will be very helpful in your studies
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understand how u feel.. u can refer to my postin on i felt terrible & lonely cause of the way i am treated by my frens..
But slowly, i realized that's the world is... u can either accept this fact, prepared urself mentally so u won't feel so bad the next time someone let u down.
Alternatively, u can play by the rules.. by being superficial--- actin friendly outside, but know that u won't offer any help too
Today, maybe after adjusting my mindset, i dun feel so miserable.. & also became more "popular" in sch..
I realized that perhaps thats the way most ppl behave... so no matter how sincere & warm hearted i am, i can't treat the way ppl treat me. BY appearin to be more relaxed & social, i end up gaining a few more frens. -
solo..
is good ..
sometimes.. -
learn not to be like them. find ppl that can help n sincere.Originally posted by Diehard_89:most of my classmates are not really my friends...cos they have become too competitive...so competitive that they appear nice outside and inside, they dun care wether you need help in your work...they are selfish people to me...
what should i do?
as for in society, protect urself 2. nt everyone worth ur friendship n help, however, when u give, give freely.
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how come like that? what educational level are you at now?
sec sch? sec sch is where many find good friends leh. maybe yall dunno each other well enough.
if really cannot change the situation, then you have to adapt to be more independent.
do your work, try to understand your stuff during normal lessons. if cannot, make appt with teacher to sort out things you don;t understand.
or, you could look for friends in other classes or from same cca. -
this society is like this,you have to depend on your own..no one can help you...Originally posted by Diehard_89:most of my classmates are not really my friends...cos they have become too competitive...so competitive that they appear nice outside and inside, they dun care wether you need help in your work...they are selfish people to me...
what should i do? -
Hello Diehard_89, I guess you are just a person living in a wrong environment. Hmm...well, quite a number Singaporeans are like this...so I'm not surprised at all. One thing you need to constantly remember is...nobody owes you anything and every person is for themselves. You probably expects people to help you when you are in trouble, but think about it by yourself...since when is the last time you helped somebody/anybody and without any motive involved?Originally posted by Diehard_89:most of my classmates are not really my friends...cos they have become too competitive...so competitive that they appear nice outside and inside, they dun care wether you need help in your work...they are selfish people to me...
what should i do?
Sometimes the problem is like this, nobody will help anybody for no good reason unless that person is really that nice. I'm not saying that such people doesn't exist, but it would be very rare to bump into one nowadays.
So probably the people around you are all not the kind of nice people that I've mentioned. And don't feel disappointed about it to a certain extent and start to adopt their mentality and behave like them. Be yourself and hold on to your beliefs, I'm sure you will be able to find somebody who will be able to help you sincerely. But make sure you appreciate them if you do ever come across one...okie?
I guess for the time being, just forget that you ever had any friends in school for a while...if it will make you feel better. Hmm...probably this stage of you life requires you to be independent in your own learning and also to realise that you cannot rely on anyone to help you in your life. You will probably faced with more similar disappointment like this in the future, but I can ensure you that you will only become stronger once you have overcome this obstacle in your environment. Until you have successfully overcome it, you have to be prepared for this kind of similar situations to keep coming back to haunt/test you.
I felt that life itself is a learning cycle, as long as you haven't overcome something...it will keep coming back to twist you in a different way everytime. Even I'm going through some form of twists in life right now...hehehe...have yet to overcome it though. ^_^"
Anyway, just to let you know that this is not the end of anything and don't feel so upset about it. If you have to feel bad about it, give yourself some time to get over it and please get over it after that period of time...say 1 week max?
Oh yah...as for those people who contributed to your disappointment, I can only say that they will keep behaving like this till the day they die. Ever wondered why some older people behaved childishly and some wisely? There is a huge gap difference between their thinking and acceptance to life itself. Anyway, choose to be those wise ones before you grow old. You have a choice to be who you want to be when you grow old...so don't disappoint yourself on this one yah.
Good Luck. -
You are 15 years old...? Reminds me of me back then...? Same thing... But today, they're still my BUDDIES...Originally posted by Diehard_89:most of my classmates are not really my friends...cos they have become too competitive...so competitive that they appear nice outside and inside, they dun care wether you need help in your work...they are selfish people to me...
what should i do?
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Such things do happen leh.
Was so very angry with my close fren for her selfish act..
Can't be helped coz pple say "ren bu wei ji tian zhu di mie"..Think for yourself first before you think of others.
What I would do is enjoy their company and dun rely on them. If they dun treat you as a fren, you must not be a fool also to let them make use of you lor. -
wao thx
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at least i am feeling better now
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glad to hear tatOriginally posted by Diehard_89:at least i am feeling better now -
I know how you feel. You think you have found yourself a friend buthe 'friend' is only out to exploit you or goes to befriend someone with better grades once he finds that you suck in your studies.
Those people are not friends. They are mere accquiantences. I hope those people who are like the above get no true friend for life. THose fakers piss me off. -
Originally posted by Quinsy:I know how you feel. You think you have found yourself a friend buthe 'friend' is only out to exploit you or goes to befriend someone with better grades once he finds that you suck in your studies.
Those people are not friends. They are mere accquiantences. I hope those people who are like the above get no true friend for life. THose fakers piss me off.
you having the same problem like me? -
People are very competitive esp. in top schs.
They are afraid u will be better than them.
Befriend those who are more willing to share. It has to work both ways.
U also have to show u are helpful before people will reciprocate. -
hmm.. u didnt see worse cases. i think as u proceed to higher level education, u will see more of these.. and worse of these too..Originally posted by Diehard_89:most of my classmates are not really my friends...cos they have become too competitive...so competitive that they appear nice outside and inside, they dun care wether you need help in your work...they are selfish people to me...
what should i do?
u gotta learn how to survive and adapt!