Lame Jokes
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A Rat Catcher is called out to the house of a guy who swaers he has Rats in his house.
Upon inspection the Ratcatcher says "No Rats here mate..your house is Rat free"
The guy is sceptical and asks the ratcatcher if he is sure.
"Yeah 100%" says the Ratcatcher.
The guy is still unsure and asks the Ratcatcher if he can check again.
"Ok says the Ratcatcher, i'll bring in my Labrador dog to have a sniff around"
The Labrador has a sniff around and still the ratcatcher can find no Rats.
The guy is still unsure.."I know i see a rat here" he said "can you do any more tests?"
The ratcatcher is getting a lil pissed and says "well the final test i can do is bring in me cat to have a sniff around"
"Ok do it" says the Guy
The ratcatcher lets his cat in the house , the cat has a sniff around and still finds no Rats.
At last the guy is happy "Ok How much i owe you" he asks the Ratcatcher.
"That will $200" says the Ratcatcher
"$200?, thats a bit much , you never even found a rat" says the guy
"well" the ratcatcher replies "it would have been cheaper if you'd took my word for it, but after having the Lab test and Cat Scan it puts the price up a bit" -
These jokes are so lously you'll wish u never hear them:
What kind of power is generated when u pull somebody's hand?
Solar power! (translate chinese)
What kind of bean do you get when u smash it with your hand?
Soya bean!
Why are the Amalakites called the Amalakites?
Becos their mother like to fly kite! -
Children is kina kia
Bird is chiao kia
Korean Car is Kia
Give birth is se kia
Furniture is Ikea
Police is mata kia
Small house is chu kia
Country name is Czechoslovakia
Puppy is gao kia
Kitten is ngiao kia
Chic is kuey kia
Rabbit is tu kia
H/phone is nokia
I'm Hokkien kia,
Malay is huan kia
Hindu is kit leng kia
Kuai lou is ang mo kia
Chinese is teng lang kia
Japanese is jit pun kia
Bad Guy is pai kia
Good Guy is ho kia
Person who read this is Gong Kia
If you laugh, you are Siao Kia
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Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight.
They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and
removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk. After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were 5 " thick and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9 foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for Bush because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Afghanistani dog.When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage, and slowly waddled over towards Osama's dog. Osama's dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American Dachshund---but when it got close enough to bite, the Dachshund opened
its mouth and consumed Osama's dog in one bite.
There was nothing left of Osama's dog at all.
Osama came up to Bush, shaking his head in disbelief, "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for 5 years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."
"That's nothing,", said Bush. "We had Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a weenie dog."