The clouds are really cheap
The way I seen em through the forts
Of which there is a half-a-dozen
On the face of my resorts
You wouldnt think Id have too many
Since I never cared for sports
But Im never really lonely
In my excentrifugul forz
Theres always corla plankun
Kim and me can play the blues
And then Ill watch him buff that
Tiny ruby that he use
Hell straighten up his turban
And inject a little ooze
Along a one-celled hammond organism
Underneath my shoes
And then Ill call pup tentacle
Ill ask him hows his chin
Ill find out how the future is
Because thats where hes been
His little feet got long and flexible
And suckers fell right in
The time he crossed the line
From later on, the way back when
seems like the posts are slowing down..?
Get on your feet an' do the funky Alfonzo!
Father Vivian O'Blivion
Resplendent in his frock
Was whipping up the batter
For the pancakes of his flock
He was looking rather bleary
(He forgot to watch the clock)
'Cause the night before
Behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked, yes . . .
The night before
Behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked (he stroked it) . . .
The night before
Behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked . . . his . . .
Sma-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
Ahhh (stroked his smock)
Which set him off in such a frenzy
He sang LOCK AROUND THE CROCK
An' he topped it off with a . . .
An' he topped it off with a . . .
An' he topped it off with a . . .
WOO WOO WOO
WOO WOO WOO
WOO WOO WOO
As he stumbled on his ____
He was delighted as it stiffened
And ripped right through his sock
Oh, Saint Alfonzo would be proud of me
PROUD OF ME
He shouted down the block
Dominus Vo-bisque 'em
Et come spear a tu-tu,
Oh!
Won't you eat my sleazy pancakes
Just for Saintly Alfonzo
They're so light 'n fluffy-white
We'll raise a fortune by tonite
They're so light 'n fluffy-white
We'll raise a fortune by tonite
They're so light 'n fluffy-brown
They're the finest in the town
They're so light 'n fluffy-brown
They're the finest in the town
Good morning, your Highness
Ooo-ooo-ooo
I brought you your snow shoes
Ooo-ooo-ooo
Good morning, your Highness
Ooo-ooo-ooo
I brought you your snow shoes
ni ai de na tian shi....bian chen chi pang shou hu ni...
Act I
SCENE FIVE
THE WET T-SHIRT CONTEST
After a few weeks on the bus, being porked by
Toad-O's road crew, and being too exhausted to do
their laundry on a regular basis, MARY is dumped in Miami.
With no money (and no other famous rock groups due into
the area for at least three weeks), she tries to pick up a few bucks
by entering the Wet T-Shirt contest at The Brasserie...
IKE:
Looks to me like something funny
Is going on around here
People laughin' 'n' dancin' 'n' payin'
Entirely too much for their beer
And they all think they are
Clean outa-site
And they're ready to party
"Cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE
'N' they all crave some Hot delight
Well the girls are excited
Because in a minute
They're gonna get wet
'N' the boys are delighted
Because all the titties
Will get 'em upset
'N' they all think they are Reety-awright
'N' they're ready to boogie
'Cause the sign outside says it's WET T-SHIRT NITE
'N' they all crave some Pink delight
When the water gets on'em
Their ninnies get rigid
'N' look pretty bold
It's a common reaction
That makes an attraction
Whenever it's cold
'N'all of the fellas
They wish they could bite
On the cute little nuggets
The local girls are showin' off tonite
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
You know I think it serves 'em right
And it's WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
I know you want someone to show you some tit!
BIG ONES! WET ONES! BIG WET ONES!
At this point, FATHER RILEY (
Well, my dandruff is loose
An my breath is chartreuse
I know I aint cute
An my voice is ka-poot
But thats awright people
Im just crazy enough to sing to you
Any old way
I figure the odds be fifty-fifty
I just might have some thing to say
Aint gonna sing you no love song
How my heart is all sore
Will not beg your indulgence
cause you heard it before
But thats awright people
Im just crazy enough to sing to you
Any old way
I figure the odds be fifty-fifty
I just might have some thing to say
I have taken your time
I have sung you my song
Aint no great revelation
But it wasnt too long
But thats awright people
Im just crazy enough to sing to you
Any old way
I figure the odds be fifty-fifty
I just might have some thing to say
omg... time is running out....
Find her finer, sneak up behind her,
Unwrap like a mummy til you finally unwind her.
Find her, blind her, see who designed her,
Act like a dummy til you finally grind her.
If you should see a girl on the street,
Now maybe you might think she is sweet,
But if you wanna tickle her treat,
Now really what should you do?
Dont never let her know you are smart.
The universe is no place to start.
You gotta play it straight from the heart,
She gwine renunciate you.
Thats why you gotta
Find her finer, sneak up behind her,
Unwrap like a mummy til you finally unwind her.
Find her, blind her, see who designed her,
Act like a dummy til you finally grind her.
Now maybe you might think this is crude,
And maybe you might think I am rude,
And maybe this approach I have spewed
Is not the one for you.
But believe me later on youll find,
As you impress her with your mind,
That you will just be left behind,
For a wiser fool.
So you might as well
Find her finer, sneak up behind her,
Unwrap like a mummy til you finally unwind her.
Find her, blind her, see who designed her,
Act like a dummy til you finally grind her.
{repeat; fade out}
Well, yeah, well
Oh yeah
She was a fine girl
She could get down wit de get down
All de way down
She do yer laundry
She change a tire
Chop a little wood for de fire
Poke it around...if it died down
Oh yeah
She was a fine girl
She go up in the mornin
She go down in the evenin...all de way down
She do the dishes
If you wishes
Silverware too
Make it look brand new...when she get through
Oh yeah
She was a fine girl
Outa this world
Well, yeah, well, yeah, well, yeah, well
Oh yeah
She was a fine girl
She could get down wit de get down
All de way down
She do your laundry
She change a tire
Chop a little wood for de fire
Poke it around...if it died down
Oh yeah
She was a fine girl
With a lovely smile
With a bucket on her head
Fulla water from de well
She could run a mile
Oh yeah
She wouldnt spill a drop
Itd stay on top
Her head was kinda flat
But her hair covered that
She was a fine girl
Didnt need no school
She was built like a mule
With a thong sandal
Well, wasnt no kinda job she could not handle
She could get down...wit de get down
All de way down
We need some more like dat in dis kinda town
We need some more like dat in dis kinda town
We need some more like dat in dis kinda town
We need some more like dat in dis kinda town...
We need some more like dat...
Flakes! flakes!
Flakes! flakes!
They dont do no good
They never be workin
When they oughta should
They waste your time
Theyre wastin mine
Californias got the most of them
Boy, they got a host of them
Swear tgod they got the most
At every business on the coast
Swear tgod they got the most
At every business on the coast
They got the flakes
Flakes! flakes!
They cant fix yer brakes
You ask em, wheres my motor?
Well, it was eaten by snakes...
You can stab n shoot n spit
But they wont be fixin it
Theyre lyin an lazy
They can be drivin you crazy
Swear tgod they got the most
At every business on the coast
Swear tgod they got the most
At every business on the coast
Take it away, bob...
I asked as nice as I could
If my job would
Somehow be finished by friday
Well, them whole damn weekend
Came n went, frankie
Wanna buy some mandies, bob?
n they didnt do nothin
But they charged me double for sunday
You know, no matter what you do,
They gonna cheat n rob you
Then theyll send you a bill
Thatll get your senses reelin
And if you do not pay
They got computer collectors
Thatll get you so crazy
til your headll go through th ceilin
Yes it will!
Im a moron, n this is my wife
Shes frosting a cake
With a paper knife
All what we got heres
American made
Its a little bit cheesey,
But its nicely displayed
Well we dont get excited when it
Crumbles n breaks
We just get on the phone
And call up some flakes
They rush on over
n wreck it some more
n we are so dumb
Theyre linin up at our door
Well, the toilet went crazy
Yersterday afternoon
The plumber he says
Never flush a tampoon!
This great information
Cost me half a weeks pay
And the toilet blew up
Later on the next day-ay-eee-ay
Blew up the next day
Woo-ooo
We are millions n millions,
Were coming to get you
Were protected by unions
So dont let it upset you
Cant escape the conclusion
Its probably gods will
That civilization
Will grind to a standstill
And we are the people
Who will make it all happen
While yer children is sleepin,
Yer puppy is crappin
You might call us flakes
Or something else you might coin us
But we know youre so greedy
That youll probably join us
Were coming to get you, were coming to get you
Were coming to get you, were coming to get you
Were coming to get you, were coming to get you
Were coming to get you, were coming to get you...
