And Im telling you
It cant happen here
Oh darling, its important that you believe me
(bop bop bop bop)
That it cant happen here
Who could imagine that they would freak out somewhere in kansas...
Kansas kansas tototototodo
Kansas kansas tototototodo
Kansas kansas
Who could imagine that they would freak out in minnesota...
Mimimimimimimi minnesota, minnesota, minnesota
Who could imagine...
Who could imagine
That they would freak out in washington, d.c.
D.c. d.c. d.c. d.c. d.c.
It cant happen here
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
It cant happen here
It cant happen here
Everybodys safe and it cant happen here
No freaks for us
It cant happen here
Everybodys clean and it cant happen here
No, no, it wont happen here
Im telling you it cant
It wont happen here
(bop bop didi bop didi bop bop bop)
Plastic folks, you know
It wont happen here
Youre safe, mama
Youre safe, baby
You just cook a tv dinner
And you make it
(bop bop bop)
No no no no
Oh, were gonna get a tv dinner and cook it up
Go get a tv dinner and cook it up
Cook it up
Oh, and it wont happen here
(no no no no no no no no no no no
Man you guys are really safe
Everythings cool).
Who could imagine
Who could imagine
That they would freak out in the suburbs
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool
I remember (tu-tu)
I remember (tu-tu)
They had a swimming pool.
And they thought it couldnt happen here
(duh duh duh duh duh)
They knew it couldnt happen here
They were so sure it couldnt happen here
But...
Suzie...
Yes yes yes--Ive always felt that
Yes I agree man, it really makes it...yeah...
Its a real thing, man
And it really makes it
(makes it)
Suzie, you just got to town,
And weve been, weve been very interested
In your development,
Since you first took the shots.
Forget it!
Hmmmmmmmmm
(it cant happen here)
(cant happen here)
(cant happen here)
If the froggy come up-a with his
Satchel in his hand,
Then he reachs in the front and
Dump a mile of sand
Across the rug, along the hall
Up to the umbrella stand
That youve been watchin all the time
Watchin all the time
And if a forest grows up
From the dirt on the floor,
Then the frog with the satchel had just
Dumped beside the door.
You just startin to get worried,
You aint going out no more
And its confusin to your mind ----
Just consider this:
You can be scared when it gets too real
You can be scared when it gets too real
But you should be diggin it
While its happening. (yes!)
But you should be diggin it
While its happening
cause iy just might be
A one-shot deal
You can be lost
And you can wanna be found.
But keep an eye on that frog
Whenever he jump around
Just keep a-watchin him
You oughta be watchin him
Just keep a-watchin him
You wanna be watchin him
And see if he has brought along
A little bag for you, rant!
Mark: It's a good thing we get paid to do this. I could be in L.A., getting reamed, listening to an Elton John album
Howard: Don't even talk about getting reamed. Listen, I've been without female companionship for so long, a career as a Jesuit monk was inviting, Ian is starting to look good to me
George: Must be his green velour socks!
Mark: Just calm down there, Duke. Ever since you left the jazz world to seek fame and fortune in the rock'n'roll industry . . .
Jeff: What do you mean rock'n'roll? This fucking band doesn't even play rock'n'roll, it's all that comedy crap!
Ian: If we play any rock'n'roll we might make some money. I wouldn't mind playing some rock'n'roll, uh, I like classical music too, but that doesn't mean I wouln't enjoy playing rock'n'roll. I mean, it's not very challenging, intelectually, but I wouldn't mind if we did some rock'n'roll. We could vote on it
Jeff: Vote on it, for what? To tell Zappa we wanna play some good music instead of this comedy shit . . . ?
Aynsley: I wouldn't mind playing some more rock'n'roll, it'd be more commercial, sort of heavy, four parts harmony, group vocals and a very heavy beat, that the kids could enjoy it. I think we'd definitely make more money that way
Ian: Maybe after we finish the movie we could play more rock'n'roll
Mark: Yeah! We all quit and form other groups and play more rock'n'roll
Jeff: And more blues, extended blues, blues that's still down and funky, even though you extended it. George knows what I'm talking about, don't you, George?
George: Leave me out of it, I come from the jazz world. I know all about these groups that get formed and die
Once upon a time
It was in Albuquerque, New Mexico
There were these girls that worked at the college
The were really cool...
(They thought so anyway)
The would be delighted to tell you how suave they where
At the drop of a hat
There was three of 'em:
One of them thought she was a Beauty Queen...
The other one was a Walking Blow-Job
And then there was this skinny girl...
Oh well...
Some of the guys in the band got together
With the girls from the college
They were having a good time...
(We were in Alburquerque for a couple of days)
But these girls thought they were Hot Shit
'N wouldn't pooch the guys in the band
On the first day, so...
A couple of the guys in the band
Who were desparate for THAT KIND OF ACTION
Kept workin' on 'em for two days
(Which is a waste of fuckin' time anyway...)
So, anyway...
But if that's your idea of a good time, what the hey?
Send those pants up here!
Here's some more!
Okay, good-good!
Traditional cotton...oh, how sweet!
Umf...huh-huh-huh-huhhh...
HERE! Work these!
Anyway...
We're in Albuquerque, New Mexico...
A couple of the guys in the band, who shall go nameless
Because their girlfriends might find out
Decided they were gonna work the wall on these girls
From the college
So, one night...it was the first night
When they were still trying to 'get it in there'
(Ya know what I mean? Huh-huh-huh-huh...)
The skinny girl, she says to one of the guys in the band
She says, well, to several of the guys in the band
And one of the T-shirt guys too...
"HEY! LET'S GO SKINNY-DIPPING!"
At two o'clock in the morning at the pool at the hotel
That's right, your heard right,
Two o'clock in the morning, pool at the hotel...
It was so fun...
But the water was very, very cold!
So they go out there and the girl who was really skinny
'N' probably totally insensitive to climatic changes
Took all of her garments off and she jumped in the pool
And she says, "HEY GUYS! COME ON IN!"
Well, one of them did...
The other one was too smart for that shit
So him and the T-shirt guy say by the edge of the pool
And when the girl who was really skinny
(And insensitive to climatic changes)
Took off her clothes and jumped in the pool
She threw her pants over there by the little table
Well, one of the guys in the band picked up het panties
(He told me later the stuff in the bottom
Was like punching an eclair...)
Anyhow...there was nothing else to do...
It was Alburquerque, New Mexico
It's two o'clock in the morning...
They're not going to get any nooky anyway...
So this one guy and the T-shirt guy
Started sniffing the girl's panties...
They were sniffing the fudge and sniffing the glue...
Sniffing every 'thing' that adhered to these
Delightful little morsels
(Some of you might think this is weird...
No wonder. It's not exactly normal, but
What the fuck?)
So, they're snorting it...
(Hey! It's the twentieth century...
Whatever you can do to have a good time, let's get on with it,
So long as it doesn't cause a murder...)
So they're snorting the pants
'N' then they put them on their heads...
They were having a good time...
The girl was in the water...she didn't even see
What was going on with her underpants...
They were wearing the pants
It looked just like a tiny little party hat...
Their ears were sticking out the side...it was so fun
Later on they discovered,
This would make a great way of life for them...
They would go from town to town, looking for panties
They would take the panties after they were hung up
On the clothes line
Later on they would take 'em back in the dressing room
They would play with them...
They would fetish the underpants...
They would snort every little morsel attached
To the underpants...and then...they would feel that
They were FULFILLED
And so you can see,
That what we're doing here on stage
Is part of a Great American Tradition
The tradition of the
JAZZ DISCHARGE PARTY HATS
but i must add..no matter how kawaii-nehs a girl is
if her behaviour sucks...how pretty she is..is also useless
Hands up!
He he he, wroaa wroaa wroaa
. . . whys he got them two microphones taped together, what if we taped their dicks together? what would they say?
I get a feeling o the blues
(youd have a helluva time gettin your pants on, Ill tell ya that...)
Oh lord, since my baby said goodbye (been gonnnnne)
Dee dee dee dee
Lord I dont know what to do
All I do is sit and cry, oh lord
Since them dead-gone days you said goodbye
Well lord I thought I would be die...
The beer that made milwaukee famous
But the braves didnt hurt it any
She do me, she do you
Shes got the kind of lovin
Lord I loved to hear when
She called me sweet daddy
