Originally posted by bismarck:
honestly i feel quite unhappy abt my life in tekong. for waht reasons i cant really specify. it;s quite complex to even list out or anything.
*like not getting along with platoon mates, sgt keep thinking i am trying to keng when i simply dun want to see the MO when i am not feeling well or injured.
**why i dont want to see the MO is because of 2 reasons.
***there was this monday where ard 5-6 ppl reported sick for various reasons(cant remember what they were) and they all got 1 guard duty each because my PS thinks that monday was quite slack, just 1 PT in the morning and lectures for the rest of the day. i nearly went to the MO because i occasionally experience really bad back pains (not those sudden sharp pains) even when i just lie down on the bed or even when i just standing up straight.
***2nd reason is because i dont want to miss PT lessons especially now when there isnt much admin time during the day for me to see the MO and i have to burn weekends if they want me to retake some lessons.
another thing is that i just feel that i dont quite like the life and time in tekong.
i believe i will get flames for saying this because some may think i am dismissing NS as a waste of time.
No. Neither am i saying i am too high class to be suited for NS etc etc.
But what i am saying is that i wish to apply what i've learnt in poly during my vocation. my batch is a leadership batch, so most of us will go to ocs or sispec.
not that i look down or hate going to command sch(nothing of that sort), but it's just that while i am trying to my identity in NS, i realise what i yearning for is to at least practise to a certain extent something related to my diploma.
yes i will practise my rifle drills, running, listening and following commands, learn discipline etc and know that these are important.
i wonder whether i feel this way is because i feel disengaged from the life, lessons and trainings in tekong. but waht i do know is i have started to discover my aims or waht i am looking for in NS.
perhaps some might not consider such a vocation/choice as "NS life" or think i am, at best, half a soldier.
anyway the next time i can reply to this thread is next fri or sat.
meanwhile, just give me some comments.
thanks.
Book in, Book in day
i sense a few things here:
1. you mentioned not getting along with platoon mates.
2. you have chronic health problems that is contributing to unhappiness such as sgt thinking you are keng-ing.
3. you feel that you are unable to apply what you have learnt during ns - not sure if this is directly or indirectly causing unhappiness but let's leave it as that first.
4. your "NS identity".
i think getting along with platoon mates is really quite important, esp since you have to spend most of your time with them. why do you say you are not getting along? what is causing this? i think there is a need to look into this if you want to at least have a group of persons if not friends whom you can work and live happily with.
you should also seek medical advise on your back condition, esp since i think your condition renders it necessary. no point trying to suppress it and get by with NS - it is not going to do anyone good, esp yourself.
your third point - sense of self-worth perhaps? i believe the third and forth points are closely related, and even that the third and forth points are consequences of unhappiness due to the first two points.
in the end its really having a positive attitude towards things, even if you think they are pointless, even if you think you cant apply them. but the fact is you have to go through it so why not do so with a more positive outlook? it will certainly make you happier.
and to have a positive outlook, the first two points should be addressed. only when these corollary contributing factors can be addressed, when you can serve your time while functioning fully and with a cordial and harmonious relationships with your peers, can you really develop a positive outlook. i think if that can be done, the third and forth points would go away themselves.
my five cents worth.
good luck!
