Maintaining B/G Relationship while in NS.
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RE: Maintaining Boy/Girl Relationship while in NS.
Q:
1. Is it possible to maintain a stable, worry-less relationship while serving in the NS?
Yes. Depends on your vocation. If you have to stay-in all the time, busy the whole day with work, trainees etc etc, then its a little hard to maintain the relationship. But if your gf loves you, and vice versa, it can actually work.
2. What is the percentage probability of having a big quarrel, or worst, a breakup with my gf while serving in the army?
% of having big quarrel: 75%
% of break-up: 50%
Both dependant on how you're able to manage the problem and communicate. But ifyour gf loves you, and vice versa, no wall is to high to climb.
3. Any advice on maintaining and managing BGR while in the army?
Communicate with her EVERYTIME you have the chance. Assurre her that you'll always be there for her when you book out of camp and that while you're in camp, the only thing that drives you through the day is the thought of listening to her voice after a day's training. <----YOU GOT TO MAKE HER REALISE THIS AND UNDERSTAND.
Understand her problems. Let her know that even if you're at camp, doesn't mean she must everytime listen to you rambles and complaints; it is worst for her since she's in the outside world, there's more and harder things to face - your world is merely green, sedia & senang diri.
Don't be selfish. Don't control her. Don't worry about her being unfaithful or etc etc.. cause if she want to play-around/be unfaithful, she ain't worth it. If she loves you, and vice versa, nothing is hard to manage.
4. Will you still feel like going on a full-day date during weekend breaks?
This is the most important thing to maintain the relationshp. As selfish as this may be, spend time with her as much as you can. If she love you, and vice versa, both will come to a compromise.
5. Can we be excused or request for FALL OUT if we cannot concentrate in training due to BGR problems...
NS teaches you to become a Man; someone who is able to prioritise things; compartmentalise matters, problems, issues. DON'T let BGR problems affect you in camp and DON'T let things in camp affect your relationshp. Fully grasping this, can really benefit you A LOT.
6. What are the consequences of AWOL (Absent without official leave)?
..need I say more? Clean bars lah!
I can't say I have the best knowledge; but I can say I went through 2 and a half yrs of NS, maintained a relationship throughout and this august will be our 4 years anniversary.
I always tell this to my ex-trainees who came to me for BGR problems:
Do you think she love you? or
Do you KNOW that she loves you?
And of course the famous quote:
"If your girl leaves you when you're in NS, she's not worth to spend your entire life with. "
My 2 cents worth. -
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It was very trying for me when I was enlisted. During the training phase, Book-out was Saturday afternoons and book-in on Sunday nights. During my time, trainees get very little sleep during the training weekdays, and need to catch up on sleep on weekends.
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Actually been in the NS is quite a extreme changes in the relationship. Due to lesser time spend on each other, either your gf will miss you more or getting used to the life without you been around her.
And its true that you must really invest on phone bill.........Local training won't kill, is the oversea training.......When I am at wallaby, still ok...When I am in india, I almost cry when I see the hp bill costing about $3K+++, not knowing that the charges that is $5/min...........
Last of all, only can wish you gd luck..........You will learn throughout the way and this is the time when you must be responsible of your own life because no matter what happen to you and your gf, you still must continue training and do it with responsibility...... -
attached, can break.
married, can divorce.
got children, can send to orphanage.
a country fallen, wont be the same.
that said, if your gf lasts you through these 2 years, i think she is the marriage material. however, u wont really know if she has flings or f--k buddies when u r away due to the weakness of the grey matter in her skull.
on that note, i'd like to sidetrack and note down an observation.
ppl say boys become men in the Army.
wat abt girls? they become women just because men f--k her? knn, v unfair k? -
1. Yes. Well, not exactly worry-less, but if you and ur gf trust each other u'd be fine. I spent roughly a year apart from my gf, due to training, and ya, the worst part is when u're overseas. Just remember, dun bloody do anything wrong in camp and u'd be fine. The worst phase is when u're a trainee. Once u've graduated from the phase, u'd be all rightOriginally posted by RonDaGuy:1. Is it possible to maintain a stable, worry-less relationship while serving in the NS?
2. What is the percentage probability of having a big quarrel, or worst, a breakup with my gf while serving in the army?
3. Any advice on maintaining and managing BGR while in the army?
4. Will you still feel like going on a full-day date during weekend breaks?
5. Can we be excused or request for FALL OUT if we cannot concentrate in training due to BGR problems...
6. What are the consequences of AWOL (Absent without official leave)?
Hope you guys can help out new recruits here with your vast experiences.
Thanks.
army IS a test of ur relationship. If she cant wait, she's not worth ur time.
2. 50%. Listen dude, there WILL be times that u have squibbles and quarrels, but IT IS NORMAL. i think u should worry more if u dun quarrel, cos quarrelling is part of a healthy relationship. there WILL be times where u become insecure, but never let it get to u.
3. Yes. The key to this is mutual trust. If the both of u believe that u r meant to be together, u WILL be together. Conversely, if u become insecure, she WILL leave u. trust me. TRUST IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT.
4. Well, u'd want to see her, u'd want to be with her .. but going out together? err.. u'd be quite tired. I remember i fell asleep in a movie once when i was out with my girlfriend on one of my book-outs. She was quite upset but i was really tired. U'd know once u enlist. But every relationship is about compromising... so dun think too much of it.
5. I dunno abt that.
6. Dun even think about it. The army's detention barracks is not a place u'd want to experience. and it's definitely not worth it. People there are treated worse den dogs, have u heard of sandbag PT? It's not something u'd be very keen to try, trust me on it.
Lastly, don't worry too much !! Army is a phase every boy has to go through to turn into a man, and i think u shouldn't dread it too much. The key to a successful relationship is trust. U HAVE TO TRUST HER. don't question her whereabouts, what time she came home last night .. etc etc. she'd tell u if she wants to. it's possible to have a r/s in army. I did it, my sis and her bf did it, and many many others did it.. u can do it too
Good luck !! -
My case is quite unique haha. I only got together with my gf about 1 week before I went into Tekong, so I guess we do not miss the 'everyday can see' feeling since we never had it in the first place.
So far so good for me...finished BMT still together. I'm hoping I can get a 8-5 job so it'll be better for the r/s. -
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if ur good at compartmentalizing ur problem, sure by all means.Originally posted by RonDaGuy:Hi guys, perhaps someone already posted the same topic but i cant find it.
so here goes....
RE: Maintaining Boy/Girl Relationship while in NS.
Q:
1. Is it possible to maintain a stable, worry-less relationship while serving in the NS?
2. What is the percentage probability of having a big quarrel, or worst, a breakup with my gf while serving in the army?
3. Any advice on maintaining and managing BGR while in the army?
4. Will you still feel like going on a full-day date during weekend breaks?
5. Can we be excused or request for FALL OUT if we cannot concentrate in training due to BGR problems...
6. What are the consequences of AWOL (Absent without official leave)?
Hope you guys can help out new recruits here with your vast experiences.
Thanks.
if you can't ur rifle in NS can be a deadly weapon coz several suiside cases during my NS happen becoz of this
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eh? de_middle, how old r u? how come got ppl in NS shoot themself one?Originally posted by de_middle:if ur good at compartmentalizing ur problem, sure by all means.
if you can't ur rifle in NS can be a deadly weapon coz several suiside cases during my NS happen becoz of this -
NDU of cos have overseas training. dude....Originally posted by RonDaGuy:thanks for the nice advices.
however, i am enlisted in the naval diving unit in sembawang camp.
will i still get to go for overseas training?
at least i know my camp is still on main land.
yes, ur naval base is on main land.... but the name NDU is famed, not lang de xu ming.... is not that ur r/s is doomed due to enlistment, is the way ur gf see things... yes weekends out of camp, should be time all give her... but... when weekends come.... u see for urself...