Re-vocation Possible?
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hi..
i would like to share this topic and maybe get some help from MOs, NSFs and ORD-ed personnels regarding my problem.
I'm a PES BP converted PES B NSF. I POP-ed 1yr ago, afterwhich i was sent to SMTI (Medic School). I had no interest in it as i wanted to be other vocation except for medic for i'm not the studious type, and i'm a very very slow learner. Also, i am afraid of handling peoples' lives. It was hard to talk about this to my platoon SI cos all they ask if we have medical problems, but they didnt ask if we can take up this medical and life-saving responsibilities. most of the time, i'm feared.
During my course P-033, i was OOCed because i failed several tests. I was relieved cos i truthfully cant be a medic and i didnt understand anything. Unfortunately, i had to recourse. Shit!!
In P-034, i was easily passed by instructors and testers because they knew they can't OOC anymore people. But deep inside i was dead worried and guilty.
Graduated, I was posted to a camp in the west. By vocation, i'm a Combat Medic, but in my unit, i work in a Medical Centre and do safety covers. Stay out, 8-5. But It didnt mean a thing to me.. SERIOUSLY. cos i honestly can't save life. I do not know what i am doing. At times when they conduct several lessons and mini-tests, i COCK-UP big time in the treatment room.
I feel depressed. I'm in the goddamn wrong vocation.
As a medic, theres TOO MANY things to absorb and to remember. I have developed insomnia, (sleep ard 1-2hrs a night), anxiety and PHOBIA of coming to work. Feels lethargic at work, NERVOUS. Sometimes i thought of going AWOL so i land in DB. It was hard to talk to senior medic and MO about this cos its so hard to approach them. And they expect so much from us, and me, being a blur cock.
I honestly can't do this. I'm supposed to be in other vocation. I don't care if mine is a combat intensed vocation, like rifleman, and what not.. but NOT to be a medic please.
Cos this is a matter of people's lives and i honestly can't do this. I didnt know who to seek help from.. :(
However I did consult an external psychiatrist. He wrote me a Memo to show my MO but i do not know when is the right time to show it to my MO yet. It was reflected in the Memo that i have developed phobia, low mood, anxiety, and stuff like me expressing huge desires to revocate to other suitable vocations with accordance to my abilities.
Seriously, i'm in the wrong vocation. I can't be a medic, and i don't wanna be one.
Readers, please advise me on this.
I can't do this..
:(
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you got to show it to the MO for the next course of action. otherwise you are just stuck. unless you can find a better door.
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Are you afraid of blood or needle or anything? If you don't want to be a medic what u what to be? I suggest maybe you can speak to MO, if u feel that the Snr Medic is not helpful enough.
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because NS vocations isnt an option, i'd accept any vocation, and i'm a combatant. I thought i was gonna be a rifleman or RP. but no, im a medic instead. damn. but u see, it takes a certain special skill and assurance and confidence to be a medic. i'm not afraid of needle or blood, just that i dont know how to save life. i cant function even BASICALLY in a treatment room. when there's E-cases, i always siam. sigh. i feel bad.
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and i hate serving the report sick cases. i feel like beating them all up, damn irritating. its just not my nature... its like asking a Wrestler to turn into a Ballet dancer.. :s
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Originally posted by squier:
because NS vocations isnt an option, i'd accept any vocation, and i'm a combatant. I thought i was gonna be a rifleman or RP. but no, im a medic instead. damn. but u see, it takes a certain special skill and assurance and confidence to be a medic. i'm not afraid of needle or blood, just that i dont know how to save life. i cant function even BASICALLY in a treatment room. when there's E-cases, i always siam. sigh. i feel bad.
No one was born to save people. It's just that in such cases if the protocol he or she uses is correct, then it's okay. If the injured or sick survived then good if not then it's just the time. As a medic you are just going to try and maintained the vital signs in real combat and evacuate the injured to high echelon. Basically Tx Room, the Tx Rm medics are for efficient as they are in charge of it and they know where to find all the necessary equipments or items if need. No need to siam when see cases go into Tx Rm, u can always help by doing some documentation or simple vital signs taking like temp, pulse etc.
Also don't hate people reporting sick, if they can report sick outside do you think they want to report sick to MC as well. You are already 1 year in the army, very soon you will ORD. Even if you managed to get to revocate it may take as long as 6/12 or 1 yr. So in the meantime, I suggest you make your stay there wothwhile.
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bro.
theres only 1 treatment medic and thats the ic. i heard im gonna take over treatment room when the IC gonna ORD in 6mths.. worse thing, i will be 2IC. cos theres nobody else. this is really hell.. i cant sleep. besides that, most of the time during duty.. i will bo chap, cos i dont know whats going on. once i was criticesed by a 24-hr med ctr medic when i sent a patient there at night.. they said like "u didnt even give the patient any form of oxygen, knowing that he has breathlessness?". wah i damn tulan. i wanna punch him in the nose. i know lor that i dunno how to do all these life-saving things.
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Originally posted by squier:
bro.
theres only 1 treatment medic and thats the ic. i heard im gonna take over treatment room when the IC gonna ORD in 6mths.. worse thing, i will be 2IC. cos theres nobody else. this is really hell.. i cant sleep. besides that, most of the time during duty.. i will bo chap, cos i dont know whats going on. once i was criticesed by a 24-hr med ctr medic when i sent a patient there at night.. they said like "u didnt even give the patient any form of oxygen, knowing that he has breathlessness?". wah i damn tulan. i wanna punch him in the nose. i know lor that i dunno how to do all these life-saving things.
in life, sometimes there are no choices but to revocate to something you didn't think you'd ever do. I know you don't like to handle others' life. But sometimes it's a choiceless thing. I'm not you but I would hope that you would take the learning of those medical stuff like you would do for your own studies.
for one, at least medical knowledge is something still can relate to in civilian life. Another is that, NS is also part of a training for you to take up responsibilities. The difference between recruits and other ranks is the responsibilities.
You know you got to take over that position. so maybe if you stop for a moment and try to accept that as a phase of life, maybe you can do more? It takes a lot to handle responsibilities.
For one, if you're a combatant, you've to perform various roles. If you're a PS and you lead the men to the wrong directions, you also will cause the whole operation to be a failure. Navigation is not easy in mountainous terrain where everywhere looks the same. Same for any other vocation.
All vocations have their difficulties. it's the process of you overcoming yourself that makes ur NS worth it or not.
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there is a saying that we have been instilled on.
"there is no can or cannot, only want or don't want"
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guys
i appreciate ur views.. i guess its because i cannot do it, and i'm unwilling to. man. being medic is like.. mental. mental torture. Well i cant blame anyone but i guess no one understands. im gonna show MO my memo real soon.. i hope i can get a positive outcome..for im not lying about my disabilities in this. maybe if i were a rifleman, i can function well. just do thing following order, not having to think of handling someone's life. i'd rather die then watching someone die because i can't save him. i hope my phobic anxieties and nervousness will lessen..
correct, every vocation has their difficulties.. but wat about living in guilt, knowing u cant save someone. but u pretend u knew, after all the duties, all the covers. its indescribable..
anyway thanks guys. appreciate it. \m/,
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Originally posted by squier:
bro.
theres only 1 treatment medic and thats the ic. i heard im gonna take over treatment room when the IC gonna ORD in 6mths.. worse thing, i will be 2IC. cos theres nobody else. this is really hell.. i cant sleep. besides that, most of the time during duty.. i will bo chap, cos i dont know whats going on. once i was criticesed by a 24-hr med ctr medic when i sent a patient there at night.. they said like "u didnt even give the patient any form of oxygen, knowing that he has breathlessness?". wah i damn tulan. i wanna punch him in the nose. i know lor that i dunno how to do all these life-saving things.
i want to see how... if u r to be served by a mirrored image medic of urself... u r breathless... medic refuse to give u oxygen...
and what if touchwood, ur own family kena, and need CPR b4 ambulance comes...? r u going to sit relac one corner for the ambulance to come or do something abt it...
saving life is a medic's job, but in everyday life in civilian, it's a human being right to save another's lives... -
i get u .. :S
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TS:
You don't know how lucky you are to end up as a medic. The skills you learn can actually be put to use outside of Army life.
I think you have a lack of confidence in your skills. I suggest you spend more time in the treatment room and practise your skills. Go study your four man edrill. After the recent deaths, four man edrill has become very important. You better shape up before HQMC comes down to your medical centre for inspections. Don't know anything, ask your senior medic or spec. Because, when an emergency happens, don't know is not an excuse.
Sorry to pour cold water, but with the current shortage of medics, I doubt you will be revocated. My unit is a combat unit, yet they send service medics here.
Still, I wish you all the best.
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i think TS better show the letter to the MO and change vocation.
imagine, if you are in an emergency, may u be nsf, regular or reservist, you would no doubt want to see someone reassuring, confident, and passionate about saving people.
medic is not only about helping people, it is also about saving people. there's an added responsibility. not everyone can handle that kind of responsibility.
especially when allocation to become medic is not of his choice, and he himself recognises that he is not cut out to be a medic, he better change vocation, before he seriously hurt someone.
let me ask all of you out there, would you become a doctor if you got the opportunity? you must make sure that the patient do not die in your hands.
it is a butcher-or-doctor qsn.
it is easy to be a butcher, like what you do in combot vocations, where your responsibility is just to kill people.
when you are a doctor, not only do you have to cut the person up, you have to stitch back the person after cutting him up, and also making sure that the person remain alive after all that. one slight mistake and you may regret for the rest of your life.
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Reading the case of TS, I started to wonder was the medics involved in the recent 2 deaths like TS or not...hmm...
But I guess there's no way we can ever know...
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to deathmaster: u have just got wat im trying to say. its true. easy to be butcher, hard to be doctor. its damn true. short and straight to the point.
to yamizi: no man its not me.. i wasnt in brunei.. and my camp is near my area. i dont live in tekong.. so yup2. anyway.. lemme tell u.. not all medics are on the ball. some really dont know anything. like me. worse than me still. yet they pretend. i dont wanna be that. yes i know i'm sort of running away.. but this is true account. sigh. anyway thanks for opinions!
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its good that you know your abilities when it comes to saving lifes.. since you have the letter already just go see the MO. i'm sure he'll understand..you're already quite depressed.
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Even as a rifleman, u need to know some kinda of simple 1st aid as well. Don't tell me on the field if you see you buddy kenna shot u just leave him there bleeding to death? You being a medic or soon to be ex medic, you should know how much supply a medic pouch contain.
Then I don't think u even fit to be a rifleman, u are in your own selfish world. SAF is a big family where u cannot survived on your own.
Btw I think you just like lot of people around here, when they entered NS they assume they'll go to OCS or SISPEC but once they fail to get in, they just give up or bochap whatever vocation they were given.
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tarutaru: i think u got me wrong sia.. in the first place, i got no intention to be an officer or spec. i just wanna serve as per normal.. accordance to my abilities. and 2ndly i dont even qualify for command school cos i dont have diploma and above. and ya of cos arh basic buddy aid i know la .. use common sense.. if u ask rifleman to use treatment room.. u think he can? i'm as blur as that.. its not my forte..
bro.. maybe u just dont understand bah.. thanks for ur helpful and indirect criticism.. maybe u are a very good and on the ball medic..but no need to look down on lousy medics like me who knows nothing.. sigh.
and im not being selfish.. if im selfish i'd hide myself and pretend until i ORD..
this, im being honest, just asking views.. cos i reall in wrong vocation..
period.
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Originally posted by squier:
tarutaru: i think u got me wrong sia.. in the first place, i got no intention to be an officer or spec. i just wanna serve as per normal.. accordance to my abilities. and 2ndly i dont even qualify for command school cos i dont have diploma and above. and ya of cos arh basic buddy aid i know la .. use common sense.. if u ask rifleman to use treatment room.. u think he can? i'm as blur as that.. its not my forte..
bro.. maybe u just dont understand bah.. thanks for ur helpful and indirect criticism.. maybe u are a very good and on the ball medic..but no need to look down on lousy medics like me who knows nothing.. sigh.
and im not being selfish.. if im selfish i'd hide myself and pretend until i ORD..
this, im being honest, just asking views.. cos i reall in wrong vocation..
period.
Then how do u know u'll be suited as a rifleman, what if u found that you don't like to be a rifleman after that. Are you going to ask for another revocate? Btw I'm not really a on the ball type. But I just take and give.
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and mind you.. im not keng-ing to be a clerk or storemen or other service or support vocations bah.. still wanna be a combatant, still got heart to be rifleman u know.. gung ho. i just wanna contribute on which areas that i can..be it combat or others.. but medical? can't.. it takes 3yrs to train a nurse.. but it takes 3mths to make a medic. its okay for u, but impossible for me.
maybe u really dont understand..but really..thanks hor.
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Originally posted by tarutaru:
Then how do u know u'll be suited as a rifleman, what if u found that you don't like to be a rifleman after that. Are you going to ask for another revocate? Btw I'm not really a on the ball type. But I just take and give.
I unlike you, am the take and throw type.
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because if kana rifleman already, good lor. bear in mind that it is physically tough, but just do lor.. it doesnt require A LOT OF KNOWLEDGE like a medic... just chiong.. follow orders.. thats wat i tryina say ...i think i trying to tell that i should overcome my fear.. but yea i know my limits of my knowledge absorption ba.. im a really slow learner.. didnt succeed well academically too.. more or a labour person..
and no if i ever get revocated from a medic... i will never ask for a revocation.. will be thankful enough i'm out of something that deals with life..which i'm a goner at..
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Originally posted by squier:
because if kana rifleman already, good lor. bear in mind that it is physically tough, but just do lor.. it doesnt require A LOT OF KNOWLEDGE like a medic... just chiong.. follow orders.. thats wat i tryina say ...i think i trying to tell that i should overcome my fear.. but yea i know my limits of my knowledge absorption ba.. im a really slow learner.. didnt succeed well academically too.. more or a labour person..
and no if i ever get revocated from a medic... i will never ask for a revocation.. will be thankful enough i'm out of something that deals with life..which i'm a goner at..
ok, then whatever it is, tmr after the report sick peak hours... say afternoon, go medical review with the mo as per normal soldier... take ur own docket, memo and go see mo.
u as a medic should know that it takes time for a medical review to forward to a medical board case KIV... u must take the 1st step out and continue to keep the ball rolling... self follow-up on ur own case with the mo and mopa. -
Ask your MO to do up the SOC lah.
NSF MO shld be ok. all friend friend 1 mah.
During my time, all the NSF also siam drawing of blood, etc. cos all scared miss.
SOC then put your 1005 in P-case.
At most, you tahan until ORD Loh.