Counselling for NSF Adjustment
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Originally posted by Fatum:
she already came out front and said it ... her boyfriend's sort of depression, could be magically and instantly cured, with an 8-5 ! .... what does it tell you, really ?: .... i do not think people like that deserves sympathy ....
i have seen some real maladjustment cases ... chaps who'd start crying when screamed at by the officers and CSMs ... chaps who's start bawling and wailing when under stress .... those people, in my books ... are people who really cannot handle army life .... they need to be committed at IMH of course ... and sadly, I really dunno what kind of a future people like that will have ... if they cannot handle little things like that .... how are they going to handle what life throws at them ? ....
and this chap wasn't the only one i've seen who tried to keng his way out so that he can "study" ... i've seen plenty of A level kids who tried that too ... thing is, why should you be given special treatments and excemptions, and have others take up your slack for you, because you farked up your own studies, and had to retake ? ... does it make sense ? ... it may be harsh to say so, but whose fault is it, really ? ... why should others have to cover for you and take up more duties and shit so you can do your own selfish thing outside, when it's you who farked up your own studies, your own life ? ...
and sure ...we all wished we could have tuanged and did less and had a cushier life during NS, who doesn't ? ... but why do we really hate the pricks who actually went ahead and keng'ed ? ... is be because they did something we "dared not" .... or is it because they did something we would not ? ... it's not even really about responsibility here ... it's about integrity ! ....
how would you conduct yourself in an environment where everyone had to do their equal share ? ... would you, for example, start a business with someone whom you know would grab a bigger slice of the pie if he can get away with it ... would "jiak" you if he could ? .... would you trust someone like that ? take him as a partner ? .... would you employ a person whom you know would see things only in terms of his own career path and personal gain ? ... would you hire him, knowing that he would slack when the boss is not looking ? ..... would you, for ladies, want to spend your life with someone like that ? ....
NS is a time, when a man's inner character's revealed ...... it's not about being garang and siao on and ranks and vocations .... but something more fundamental .... how you behaved during NS, is really a preview of your life ... it says a lot of the kind of man that you are ......
Well made points. I just disagree that army life would be the be-all and end-all of everything a man should stand for. I have met people in other fields who have excelled and contributed a lot to society but would likely fail horribly in the green machine.
I think failure in the army COULD, but doesn't ALWAYS mean mental weakness. Living/working together with a lot of other people in a highly regimented life is something not everyone can do. And just because people fail to adapt in this specific environment, I can't agree that they should be in IMH.
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Originally posted by First Five-Eights:
Well made points. I just disagree that army life would be the be-all and end-all of everything a man should stand for. I have met people in other fields who have excelled and contributed a lot to society but would likely fail horribly in the green machine.
I think failure in the army COULD, but doesn't ALWAYS mean mental weakness. Living/working together with a lot of other people in a highly regimented life is something not everyone can do. And just because people fail to adapt in this specific environment, I can't agree that they should be in IMH.
likely ? .... did they or didn't they ? ... have they served NS or not ? ... but that's beside the point of course, I think you have miss-understood the gist of what i was trying to say .....
of course, not everyone can stand the rigors of regimentation ... i didn't like it all that much myself ... I'm sure most of us didn't ...
The real issue here, is not even really about mental weaknesses, or failure to adapt to the army. Like I said in a preceeding post, I agree that not everyone can stand what almost everyone else withstood ... fine ... not a problem ... people are made differently .... I even gave examples ... perhaps the IMH part was a bit harsh, I stand corrected.
It is about INTEGRITY.
Back to my example, and I quote myself again; how would you conduct yourself in an environment where everyone had to do their equal share ? ... would you, for example, start a business with someone whom you know would grab a bigger slice of the pie if he can get away with it ... would "jiak" you if he could ? .... would you trust someone like that ? take him as a partner ? .... would you employ a person whom you know would see things only in terms of his own career path and personal gain ? ... would you hire him, knowing that he would slack when the boss is not looking ? ..... would you trust such a man as a friend, or for the ladies, want such a man as a life partner ? ....
Sure, the army is not the be all and end all of life ... not all of us ended up with ranks and garang vocations, I do not see success and failure in the army in those terms at all ... but I stand by what I said ... it is NOT what you are in the army .. it is what you do, how you behave, that would tell on you and your character ...
If this "boyfriend" of the TS has problems adapting to the green machine, hated the regimentation, hated having to follow the rigid rules, etc, and got into a "depression", he'd have my full sympathies ... cos it'd likely to be a true case of maladjustment ... fine ....
but his real issue here ... is that he tried repeatedly to seek special treatment for himself, and got into a "depression" because he can't get the 8-5 he wanted for his own selfish reasons, and then now the TS (him ? ) is trying to find ways to exploit the system to get what he wants ? ... again, for the third time, what does it tell you if his case of "depression" can be cured magically when he gets what he wanted, really ? ... you think it's a genuine case of maladjustment ? ... of failure to adapt to army life ? ...
If the TS is really concerned about the depression .. then why come and ask, how can he get an 8-5, how can he get what he wanted, (read: where are the loopholes and where to exploit them ? ) instead of focusing on how he can seek treatment for his "depression" ? ... doesn't that say a lot about their thought process, doesn't it say a lot about what the real issue is ?
I cannot respect a man like that ....
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life aint no bed of roses. no point moaning or groaning. wont get us anyway. instead we can try to learn on how to deal with it and helps us to be stronger mentally. however talk is cheap solving it is difficult but if we try and put in some decent effort, who knows things might turn out the way we want and it might not be that unpleasant as we had imagined it to be. if ts is really adamant on her personal views, she wont be posting asking for opinions cos whatever others say wont move her mindset much.
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Hey,I had wanted to enter the March batch of the army so that I could go and learn driving and get my license after the A's..Instead,I got the December batch and is enlisting on DEC 11.What do I do?As upset as I am,I just have to face it right?I mean,that is life.They may say life is your own destiny but some things just cannot be changed,and your boyfriend has to face up to that and bend your plans to accomadate national service..Just be glad that one is serving his NS in a country like Singapore instead of Russia or something.An extra 50k so be it..Not that I am rich,i'll probably have to get a study loan too for my Uni and would have to work my ass off to pay off the loan so why can't he?
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Anyways,the key thing is to show lotsa concerns for him during NS if the whole situation cannot be changed..I mean,having someone who is positive beside you would most probably result in that person feeling positive in the end..Hugs,kisees,cook or bake for him when he gets out of camp..He may feel a lot better!!=)
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Originally posted by Spacedoutpink:
My boyfriend is in NS now.. and I honestly think he is starting to sink into depression. And no, this is not one of those chao keng cases.
I've never seen him like this before and it's really freaking me out. The thing is he's talked to the people in charge in the camp, I'm not very sure of the ranks =S but they all don't want to seem to grant him 8-5. They don't even seem to be sympathetic at all.
I guess the reason why he's like this is because he's been wanting stay out so that he can study. If he doesn't, he would have to spend extra tens of thousands of $$ just to continue his studies when he goes overseas.
It's really driving him up the wall and I can't even talk to him properly anymore.His loss of moods for anything.. constant guilt..
I would want him to go seek help and maybe from there he can get 8-5, but will it work? And would it be in the record for his future?
Oh, and he also has a knee problem. Seen specialist, letter given to MO, etc. Everything was still rejected.
I know some of you may say he should suck it up because most guys have to go through the same thing, but some people just can't. Its affected his whole mind and well being and I'm really concerned.
Pls reply! Opinions and comments and help much appreciated.Thanks! :)
pleading with them won't helps, u need to do the right thing.
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Adjustment Disorder is quite common, but one can wait till the cows come home to get stay out privileges. One of my men has stay out privileges due to depression, but that was only after an incident with his previous department.
Report sick to MO and request for counselling.
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be a man. do the right thing.
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I wonder why nowadays kid expect to stay out once you enter NS, during my times most of us expect to stay in, if u get to stay out then it's previlege....
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Originally posted by tarutaru:
I wonder why nowadays kid expect to stay out once you enter NS, during my times most of us expect to stay in, if u get to stay out then it's previlege....
During your time, a plate of carrot cake cost $1 too! -
Originally posted by shade343:
During your time, a plate of carrot cake cost $1 too!
And maybe the policemen were still wearing shorts!! -
I believe even now there should be no compromised.......
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wan to get 8-5 then get pregnant and marry yr bf lor....
86 days to ORD!
i'm a stay in personnel (clearing my offs and leaves now) and want to study like yr bf does
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wtf?