Originally posted by Karliangg:
I think I can adapt very well to living in USA. I am NOT dependent on my counselor - haven't I already said that he doesn't do much? But apparently I should try to MAKE him do more for me? Now the posts are just getting confusing. I do not think people who liken the army life to the outside world have a point - because the factors are so vastly different. I have studied in USA before, and I have enjoyed myself extremely well. I did not rely on my parents. Which is why i find myself so shocked that i am suddenly so dependent and depressed.
Problems in the Army may be different from problems in the civillian world in terms of type, but when you look under the surface, the basis is really quite similar.
You are not used to the culture in the Army, and neither are you used to the culture in another country. There will be bound to be adjustment problems either way. The key here is not about not having those problems, but how you deal with those problems. You can (and should) take it like a man, sit down, and think things true like the rational, educated man you make yourself out to be.
So far, though, all you are doing is whining in one corner and coming up with 'solutions' that will never work. Seriously, what were you thinking when you thought of getting PES F, renouncing your citizenship, or joining the MDC?
It is true that you seem to be overdependent on your counsellor, and it is also true that you should get more help from him. There is no paradox here. All it means is that you should be more proactive in helping yourself. Counselling is not a one-way street. You should be helping the counsellor help you. You should help yourself more by finding out about the cause of your problems and asking for better ways and means for the counsellor to help solve your problems instead of waiting for the counsellor to spoonfeed the answers to you.
At the end of the day, if you don't want to help yourself, and you expect others to just spoonfeed the answers to you, you can't expect a lot of help. The army is not giving you problems; the problems are coming from within yourself. So the solutions to your problems have to come from within yourself.
Think about it..... do you seriously think people are going to spoonfeed you on how you're going to live overseas on your own?
dude... if you don't make it through something as simple and braindead as the SAF, you're going to have a miserable life ahead of you...
really...
it is not about "suck thumb"
if you think it is, you're dumber and more useless than i gave you discredit for...
use this time to build yourself.. if you can't do this, you'll probably never be able to do anything productive...
turn this into something which you can look back and say "i did this shit.. i'm stronger than them"
or are you going to just whimper and whine and hide from this?
i'm not one to mince words...
i hope you have a good life and that everyone else will cater to your needs while you do not do anything at all to help yourself...
that's all i'll have to say...
Originally posted by Karliangg:I need advise. So tell me, how can I help myself? Tell myself to shut up, right?
People have been giving you lots of good advice already.
People have been telling you to be more proactive by finding out for yourself exactly what it is that is troubling you and how to get help to solve those problems.
People have been telling you that this is all just a test of your ability to deal with a bad situation and making the most out of it.
Seriously, what do you want people in this forum to do? Advise you on how to chao keng to get PES F? Advise you on how to jump ship and get foreign citizenship? You're the one who raised the points of PES F and foreign citizenship in your first post.
As Bear has said, it is not just about 'lan lan suck thumb'. It is about dealing with problems that you cannot get rid of in life. If you cannot change your circumstances, then you have to change your mindset to those circumstances. Lots of people have it worse than you. If you think you are weaker in the mind than they are, then you have to get yourself to strengthen your mind.
You cannot just expect people to spoonfeed you on how to do this. What do you want them to do? Bash you in the head and hope that your brain will reset its settings? You yourself have got to learn on how to be mentally stronger. If you have to, be proactive enough to ask your counsellor on how to be mentally stronger! By whining non-stop in here and trying to shoot down everyone's points, what do you hope to achieve?
If you really cannot be proactive enough to change your mindset, then good luck to you, there is nothing anyone can do to help you. If you don't want to help yourself, even the biggest expert on earth can't do anything to help you.
P.S. Problems in the Army are really just small stuff. No matter how much you plan your future life, there will be far worse problems than this. No joke.
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btw.. you did say you want to renounce your citizenship...
no country on the planet will allow you to do that... there is a convention out there which will not let people renounce their citizenship unless they have secured citizenship in another country...
you speak of the US like it's a given that they'll give you citizenship... they may not...
first you NEED to qualify for a green card or PR status.. something the call a Resident Alien... it's something which is not easy to get...
and guess what? you're still a Singapore Citizen... because you are not an American citizen yet...
after that you'll need to stay in the country until you are qualified.. and you are still a Singapore Citizen until then...
if they know that you are an army defaulter, guess what they'll do to your green card status? the US looks upon the armed forces with respect.. will they respect someone who came to their country because they wanted to run away from their own conscription?
i guess here's the long and short of it... you haven't a clue.. you don't want to have a clue.. you want everything to be done for you so you can drift along...
it's only what? 18 months more?
stick with it...
if you want out after that, go ahead... because there will be reservist commitments.. if you want to go abroad after your 24 months, you can go ahead now without this "army defaulter" hanging over your head...
your choice... make it an educated and good one...
because some things in life, you only get one chance at it..
I dont understand why the mods here like to change thread titles to prove their point or try to solve people questions with one statement. Forums are meant for discussion and not trying to berate others who do not see eye to eye with your views.
TS has a problem and he asked for opinions. He doesnt need a person telling him to cut his dick off just to escape NS. Not everyone are cut out to be in uniform, around here they have no choice but to do so. He is entitled to his opinion and the best we can do is to give solutions or advice for him to think it out in his own way.
FYI, i served NS as an Infantry section commander in a battalion, and i encountered lots of guys with the same problems from trooper to clerks. Some hacked it out and served their 2 years, some decide to beat the system by downgrading or AWOL. End of the day its their choice and not anyone else. They dont need chickenhawks who try to give them an enema of pro-military answers to which they dont need.
Stay out clerk already, take it easy.
1.5 years more looks long, but its actually quite short.
Close your eyes and its over!
Make more friends there.. instead of slacking and not doing your work.. and often taking MCs.... and getting aimed by everyone...
Just do your work properly, people will friend you, and you wun have this problem.
Remember this - Nobody wants to serve. But no choice, who ask you to be born in Singapore. Everyone has this problem of having to waste 2 years... if you want your life to be terrible.. just go ahead... if not, go into a situation where you are better off... that is to make friends, do minimal work, serve and scram off.. =)
Originally posted by Man!x:I dont understand why the mods here like to change thread titles to prove their point or try to solve people questions with one statement. Forums are meant for discussion and not trying to berate others who do not see eye to eye with your views.
TS has a problem and he asked for opinions. He doesnt need a person telling him to cut his dick off just to escape NS. Not everyone are cut out to be in uniform, around here they have no choice but to do so. He is entitled to his opinion and the best we can do is to give solutions or advice for him to think it out in his own way.
FYI, i served NS as an Infantry section commander in a battalion, and i encountered lots of guys with the same problems from trooper to clerks. Some hacked it out and served their 2 years, some decide to beat the system by downgrading or AWOL. End of the day its their choice and not anyone else. They dont need chickenhawks who try to give them an enema of pro-military answers to which they dont need.
Just to get some things straight:
1. It is not my policy to change topic titles. That would be the work of one of the other mods.
2. People in here are not asking him to chop his dick off or anything like that. Rather, the TS himself raised the idea of getting PES F or jumping ship in his very first post.
I see what is going on. You cannot adapt to the army culture and also the Singapore culture.
I understand what is your problem as I have worked with US partner before.My US partner is screaming like hell when I ask him what book he is reading. As to him, it is considered private matters which is forbiddened to be asked. So I sort of understand, what the US is thinking and their culture. It is the tiny little things that build up.
THere is alot things going on there.
I think you need to voice out more to your boss on what you need as you have more problem than you have.And there is no way, you change or you take it within a few months time or even a few years time. It is a culture thing.
It is just like, people adress their parent/boss by their name in US, Singapore it is considered dammed rude.
Very difficult and Challenging.
I agree dont anyhow change the title it will twist the meaning this thread,.
I will take up the green card. if I was you, as there is nothing you have that is in singapore.
screw ns...if u had a green card u should go back to the usa right after reading this.
seriousl speaking take everything more positive, you'll find NS more bearable. Everywhere had it's problem.
I met people coming back from US to live in Singapore stating that the home insurance there is murderous so she decide to come back for good.
NS is a part of life for all males whether you like it or not. Some people find it enjoyable some not. Well it's like that when army is one of the biggest organization in the world, the system cannot satisfied everyone. Even in big corporate some like it, some don't. That's life.
home insurance is murder????eh????ns????maybe thread starter wanted to be some platoon commander but ended up as a clerk.....so he went nuts due to ego thing.
usa partner screamed at u after u were curious bout a book????us partner never treated me like that...maybe us partner didnt like that dude.most usa folks are nice and smiling,,,,,,never saw one yell or sceeched like lokeys us partner.
Originally posted by Terminator Hitman:home insurance is murder????eh????ns????maybe thread starter wanted to be some platoon commander but ended up as a clerk.....so he went nuts due to ego thing.
Well, if the TS cannot be a PC then too bad...not everyone can be a PC. Mind you from what I heard from lot of the americans the home insurance can be very very ex. to cover lot of things. You/I never stayed there that long so u and I will not understand how much. But from what I heard it's cover everything.
Originally posted by tarutaru:Well, if the TS cannot be a PC then too bad...not everyone can be a PC. Mind you from what I heard from lot of the americans the home insurance can be very very ex. to cover lot of things. You/I never stayed there that long so u and I will not understand how much. But from what I heard it's cover everything.
PC very good meh. Everyday dio arrowed.. Updown... Recruit's mother father everyday call and complain and ask about the son. Whats so good about being PC.
gals normally look at army uniform with most ranks,badges and medals.
Originally posted by Terminator Hitman:gals normally look at army uniform with most ranks,badges and medals.
Thing of a past liao.
Nowadays must see how much cash you have, how many Cars and Bungalows you own, and not forgetting the bungalow must not be around Thomson, Katong or Bukit Timah area.
teen chiobus look at uniform more than haus in katong:)