Son FLY to USA to Desert NS, my $75,000 Security Bond GONE!
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So let me get this straight.
You son is so smart, but you admit that you couldn't teach him discipline. Given that he's now run off and cost you the bond, you also failed to instill any responsibility and common decency in him.
And now you want to get aggressive with people who point out the painfully obvious.
Epic fail, lah.
The fact is that there are very few people so stupid as to knowingly send an irresponsible kid off to the US and put up a bond in full awareness of the flight risk. As such there are very few people who find themselves the absurd situation of trying to recover a bond after clearly breaking the deal.
Let's face it: how difficult is it to understand the idea that if the kid doesn't come back, you lose your money? That's what a bond is - there were no hidden terms, no grey areas, no surprises.
In fact, after not holding up your end of the bargain, you want to still get your money back?! No prizes for guessing where your kid got his irresponsibility from.
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When your son enlists on the date that he is due, you'll get your bond back. That's the way it was with my cousin.
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LOLOLOL!!!
Haha, this is really sad and unfortunate but funny.
Basically you're screwed la. Money's gone. If you can afford to liquidate 75k then i'm sure you can afford to consult a lawyer to examine your legal actions.
You're son shouldn't have a problem getting a US green card since he has a degree now. And as long as he doesn't come back to Singapore, the Singapore Government cannot arrest him either.
And probably since he's not back for NS, which i assume he is already due for, i guess your deposit is long gone. The deposit was paid by YOU. Therefore the responsibility goes on to YOU to make sure your son doesn't skip National Service.
I guess you're only option is to track him in the US and get him to pay you back the 75k. Sue or emotionally blackmail him to pay you back la. But don't think there is much else you can do.
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Originally posted by Gedanken:
So let me get this straight.
You son is so smart, but you admit that you couldn't teach him discipline. Given that he's now run off and cost you the bond, you also failed to instill any responsibility and common decency in him.
And now you want to get aggressive with people who point out the painfully obvious.
Epic fail, lah.
The fact is that there are very few people so stupid as to knowingly send an irresponsible kid off to the US and put up a bond in full awareness of the flight risk. As such there are very few people who find themselves the absurd situation of trying to recover a bond after clearly breaking the deal.
Let's face it: how difficult is it to understand the idea that if the kid doesn't come back, you lose your money? That's what a bond is - there were no hidden terms, no grey areas, no surprises.
In fact, after not holding up your end of the bargain, you want to still get your money back?! No prizes for guessing where your kid got his irresponsibility from.
I think the TS simply want to give his son a headstart by sending his son to US so after the son completed the study, he would simply come back to serve the full time NS but in turn out, his son became irresponsible to stay in the US than to come back to serve the NS. The son should bear full responsibility of the bond n he cannot come back to this country. TS has done his part n in fact we can never know if the son has laready decided to run away before he completed his study.
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Originally posted by Audiophile:
LOLOLOL!!!
Haha, this is really sad and unfortunate but funny.
Basically you're screwed la. Money's gone. If you can afford to liquidate 75k then i'm sure you can afford to consult a lawyer to examine your legal actions.
You're son shouldn't have a problem getting a US green card since he has a degree now. And as long as he doesn't come back to Singapore, the Singapore Government cannot arrest him either.
And probably since he's not back for NS, which i assume he is already due for, i guess your deposit is long gone. The deposit was paid by YOU. Therefore the responsibility goes on to YOU to make sure your son doesn't skip National Service.
I guess you're only option is to track him in the US and get him to pay you back the 75k. Sue or emotionally blackmail him to pay you back la. But don't think there is much else you can do.
Getting a green card is not a problem but the toruble is he need to wait for a long time to get it n in the mean time, the son also need to make a living. Unless he is willing to work as a dishwasher in the chinatown which paid around US$8 an hour. There is also the fact unemployment rate is 9% of the population.
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@Gedankan, so I suspect you are the master of discipline? I suspect you are the master of morals? I suspect that you are a responsible and hardworking person? I suspect you set the standard of intelligence? Way to go mister. You have officially caused me to suspect otherwise.
Tell me, will any son be as so stupid to tell their dad that they are going to run off? No, you did not say that, but you made it seem so easy to detect irresponsibility. What is trust is not naievity, dumbass. And I didn't call my son smart for a reason, irresponsibility is relative anyway. Would you call a son with 264 PSLE score iiresponsible? No. Prior to his running away, I have not been having trouble with him in the matter of trust and responsibility. What I have trouble with is his rebelliousness and his independence. He wants complete freedom in what he does.
Deal. What deal? The way I see it, PAP hasn't been keeping it's deals either.
http://www.temasekreview.com/2010/05/20/8-reasons-why-singaporeans-should-just-leave-singapore/
If PAP is not keeping its deals, then whatever "deals" is given has no burden on me anyway. A deal is only a deal when both parties agree specifically on the results, not the terms. The result that was expected was this: son goes to ns and I get 75k back. The terms was this: son runs away and I lose 75k. Your definition of a deal is epic fail.
Yes, epic fail right in your face, lah.
You do not judge what is irresponsible. The fact that you have time on this forum while I slog everyday for my family can also mean that you are irresponsible. Since you do not know the conditions exactly, keep your darn mouth shut.
EDIT: This applies to you too, audiophile.
EDIT2: @kuali, Thank you. This assures me in the sense that if my son attempts to illegally get off the island, I will still keep my bond. Now the only thing left is to find him, which, unfortunately, isn't as easy as you forumers make it sound.
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Originally posted by Cranere:
@Gedankan, so I suspect you are the master of discipline? I suspect you are the master of morals? I suspect that you are a responsible and hardworking person? I suspect you set the standard of intelligence? Way to go mister. You have officially caused me to suspect otherwise.
Tell me, will any son be as so stupid to tell their dad that they are going to run off? No, you did not say that, but you made it seem so easy to detect irresponsibility. What is trust is not naievity, dumbass. And I didn't call my son smart for a reason, irresponsibility is relative anyway. Would you call a son with 264 PSLE score iiresponsible? No. Prior to his running away, I have not been having trouble with him in the matter of trust and responsibility. What I have trouble with is his rebelliousness and his independence. He wants complete freedom in what he does.
Deal. What deal? The way I see it, PAP hasn't been keeping it's deals either.
http://www.temasekreview.com/2010/05/20/8-reasons-why-singaporeans-should-just-leave-singapore/
If PAP is not keeping its deals, then whatever "deals" is given has no burden on me anyway. A deal is only a deal when both parties agree specifically on the results, not the terms. The result that was expected was this: son goes to ns and I get 75k back. The terms was this: son runs away and I lose 75k. Your definition of a deal is epic fail.
Yes, epic fail right in your face, lah.
You do not judge what is irresponsible. The fact that you have time on this forum while I slog everyday for my family can also mean that you are irresponsible. Since you do not know the conditions exactly, keep your darn mouth shut.
EDIT: This applies to you too, audiophile.
EDIT2: @kuali, Thank you. This assures me in the sense that if my son attempts to illegally get off the island, I will still keep my bond. Now the only thing left is to find him, which, unfortunately, isn't as easy as you forumers make it sound.
No, I only told you when you'll get your bond back if he serves, but you won't because MINDEF views it as your responsibility to make sure he enlists. If you say you've lost contact with him, why don't you file a missing person report with the embassy in the US? I can't say whether you'll get a waiver.
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Cranere, my parents put down the $75,000 bond too and I went overseas at a rather young age (before I passed my 17th birthday).
I came back because besides the bond, my education already cost my parents $300,000 and I was very grateful for the opportunity to have accessed the finest education and exposure of the highest quality thanks to my parents.
It wasn't just about the bond. It's the fact that I felt responsible towards my father.I'm also obviously not intending to leave my family or lose touch or fall out with them, even if my long term plan is to move back to the US, because Singapore and its universities are truly rubbish dumpsters that nobody should suffer, and God forbid I subject my children here to the whorehouse local universities (if unfortunately and sadly I'm still in Singapore when my kids are of university-going age, I'll send them to the US or UK or Australia, the first two are preferable).
Are you currently still being able to reach your son?
If you are, impress upon him the following, as he may not have really thought things through in a moment of impulse. Many overseas Singapore students who got to do their undergrad studies before they serve NS experience the same doubts and apprehension just before coming back, which he probably is feeling now.He needs to know that he's not such a special case, which he isn't. Every yr, (both SG boys and girls) about 3500 go to the US to study, 2000-3000 go to the UK and about 8000 go to Australia. Although its true that most of the boys go after they finish NS, I'd say about 1 in 40 or 50 go before NS. I regret to inform you that out of all these numbers, you're the only one who's in this fix now. Not other parents. You need to analyse why.
- Is he aware that his chosen course of action now means that he can never set foot in his birth country? Not even to visit his family? If he wishes to see you and the rest of his family and friends, they will have to meet him in JB.
- Is he prepared to lose his family, not to hear from you ever again, just because of a moment's folly and something which only lasts for 2 years, he's prepared to accept lasting lifelong consequences and live with them?
- Is he prepared to shoulder the poor reputation and dishonor that people back home, from his own family members to anyone who is mildly acquainted with him, now associate with him forever? For some people (normally mature people who have integrity, not all mature people have integrity and not all people with integrity are mature), honour, reputation and legacy are worth infinitely more than money, time or effort.Edit: I just read your last post, and am officially disgusted with you.
It's clear that it was your son that is irresponsible and of poor character, but not only do you doggedly refuse to face up to that, while desperate to reclaim your lost money which was only lost because of your son's dishonour and irresponsibility (probably inherited from you), you now try to blame the government. LoL.
I was appalled to see you even had the gall to post some stupid temasekreview link to support your claims that it was the system that wronged you, and not your ill-bred and immoral son of bad character.
It's super clear where your son got all his irresponsible, dishonorable and unreliable character traits from! It was from you. Even if he didn't genetically inherit them from you, he must have mimicked you over the years back in Singapore.
You deserve it 100%. I hope you try to sue the govt (like the fired SLA nutjob employee bitch who accuses the civil service of "sloppiness" but is sueing to desperately have a job in the civil service LOL), join the opposition party lunatics like Uncle Yap and eventually get admitted into IMH like them.
p/s: you may also want to know that while intelligence is highly prized by society and has rewarded many a great people with high IQ financially, it's only intelligent people with honour that go the long haul and eventually reach the apex. Your son with his inherited fucked-up character just like his irresponsible and look-everywhere-to-blame dad will not last long before he gets eliminated from the race of life. -
Originally posted by will4:
Getting a green card is not a problem but the toruble is he need to wait for a long time to get it n in the mean time, the son also need to make a living. Unless he is willing to work as a dishwasher in the chinatown which paid around US$8 an hour. There is also the fact unemployment rate is 9% of the population.
With your standard of English, it's obvious that you don't have much exposure to the US, in any way, shape, form or fashion.
1) A qualified non-American does not need a greencard to accept and hold a job in the US.
2) A greencard does not take a long time to get for qualified persons. If TS's son managed to get a place in a top university (stanford, MIT, ivy league, chicago, carnegie mellon etc the list goes on), he should not take a long time to get both a greencard (also know as PR in Singapore) and subsequently US citizenship.
3) A qualified and well-educated non American, even before naturalization, does not need to work as a dishwasher in Chinatown. You do.
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Originally posted by Cranere:
@Gedankan, so I suspect you are the master of discipline? I suspect you are the master of morals? I suspect that you are a responsible and hardworking person? I suspect you set the standard of intelligence? Way to go mister. You have officially caused me to suspect otherwise.
Tell me, will any son be as so stupid to tell their dad that they are going to run off? No, you did not say that, but you made it seem so easy to detect irresponsibility. What is trust is not naievity, dumbass. And I didn't call my son smart for a reason, irresponsibility is relative anyway. Would you call a son with 264 PSLE score iiresponsible? No. Prior to his running away, I have not been having trouble with him in the matter of trust and responsibility. What I have trouble with is his rebelliousness and his independence. He wants complete freedom in what he does.
Deal. What deal? The way I see it, PAP hasn't been keeping it's deals either.
http://www.temasekreview.com/2010/05/20/8-reasons-why-singaporeans-should-just-leave-singapore/
If PAP is not keeping its deals, then whatever "deals" is given has no burden on me anyway. A deal is only a deal when both parties agree specifically on the results, not the terms. The result that was expected was this: son goes to ns and I get 75k back. The terms was this: son runs away and I lose 75k. Your definition of a deal is epic fail.
Yes, epic fail right in your face, lah.
You do not judge what is irresponsible. The fact that you have time on this forum while I slog everyday for my family can also mean that you are irresponsible. Since you do not know the conditions exactly, keep your darn mouth shut.
EDIT: This applies to you too, audiophile.
EDIT2: @kuali, Thank you. This assures me in the sense that if my son attempts to illegally get off the island, I will still keep my bond. Now the only thing left is to find him, which, unfortunately, isn't as easy as you forumers make it sound.
serve u right, what have u been doing for the last 18 years? u r given 18 years to commuicate with your son yet u r still unable to understand him.so please dun cow bei cow bu here and go slot yrself to death.
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Originally posted by insidestory:
With your standard of English, it's obvious that you don't have much exposure to the US, in any way, shape, form or fashion.
1) A qualified non-American does not need a greencard to accept and hold a job in the US.
2) A greencard does not take a long time to get for qualified persons. If TS's son managed to get a place in a top university (stanford, MIT, ivy league, chicago, carnegie mellon etc the list goes on), he should not take a long time to get both a greencard (also know as PR in Singapore) and subsequently US citizenship.
3) A qualified and well-educated non American, even before naturalization, does not need to work as a dishwasher in Chinatown. You do.
I cannot understand the govt should not be easily let those pre enlistees go other countries to study before they complete their full-time NS, maybe to some people $75000 is not much to them since they have not earned their first salary. There have been a case in which an NSF former colleuage after coming back from US served NS , barely a year into NS, he applied for leave to go for convocation but he never came back. Regarding to get a job in US, I am not sure if the rule still apply in which a company in the US if there is a vacant position, they need to ensure that there have tried hard to fill the position with US citizen before being able to hire other coutry citizen. Ur definition of qualified n well-educated of other nationality mean that there are many nationalities in US becoming US citizen? Maybe there are plenty of opportunities there.
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Originally posted by seyKai:
serve u right, what have u been doing for the last 18 years? u r given 18 years to commuicate with your son yet u r still unable to understand him.so please dun cow bei cow bu here and go slot yrself to death.
I have a feeling maybe TS's son has decided to run away before coming back. It is already a rule if a pre-enlistee never come back to serve NS, the bond is going to forfeited. It is sad that nowdays there are inconsiderate person in this society.
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Originally posted by Cranere:
Aiyah, the problem is, my son is smart. The reason why I bring him to America in first place.
You hear of vandwelling or not? If you have, then nearly impossible to find him already lor. He also apply for US citizenship. Headache. Also, I suspect he got illegal documentation. Did I also tell you that this was a long time plan-ahead? He had been planning to run away the moment he turn 18 since three years ago. Kena saved I think 10k and ran off.
I want to sue him, but how to sue if I don't know where he is, especially when he got no address.
Because he is smart, he not doing drugs or alcohol. I suspect he will survive for long time. Sigh...
How can I pay for my son's bullshit. Is not based on my son not on me?
U knew that he is planning to run away, how come u want to put the $75000 bond? Being smart n responsible is different thing.
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1st of all I stil think it's TS's fault, becos it sound like his son was all along rebellious and yet he send him to places like US? It's like he gave up on his son long ago yet he want to send him all the way to US to study and put in $75K bond? Imho, overseas study a lot of self discipline is need especially in a country like US. Also TS, I believe if u wanna bring him back there are way's. especially if he's forging some documents to get green card. Surely you can get someone to check on this and report this to the authorities if necessary. Cheating is also something u did not teach him not too.
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Originally posted by Cranere:
f I get it when son come back, maybe even sneaking him off Singapore could be possible.
What a great parent U are.
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*sniff sniff ...........
this story doesn't smell quite right ........
you guys think so ? ....
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Wow the bond so much money!!! 75 K
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Originally posted by Cranere:
@Gedankan, so I suspect you are the master of discipline? I suspect you are the master of morals? I suspect that you are a responsible and hardworking person? I suspect you set the standard of intelligence?
Since you ask, yes, yes, yes and yes.
For the first two questions, I spent years working in the juvenile justice system with kids who had records of crimes such as car theft, burglary and assault, and rehabilitating them. Rest assured that your kid's nothing compared to the ones I built a professional reputation of dealing with - you ain't seen smart till you've seen an 11-year-old get past a car alarm like it was never installed. Hate to burst your bubble, but that PSLE score ain't nothing special in the real world, booster.
After that, I quit and went corporate, which leads to the third point. My clients make multi-million dollar decisions based upon my analysis and advice - it's not a job for fly- by-nighters.
For the last point, I have never scored anything below 135 on test batteries such as the Weschler or Stanford-Binet scales - I'd go into standards of deviation above the mean but that might hurt your head.
Any other questions?
Originally posted by Cranere:Tell me, will any son be as so stupid to tell their dad that they are going to run off? No, you did not say that, but you made it seem so easy to detect irresponsibility. What is trust is not naievity, dumbass. And I didn't call my son smart for a reason, irresponsibility is relative anyway. Would you call a son with 264 PSLE score iiresponsible? No. Prior to his running away, I have not been having trouble with him in the matter of trust and responsibility. What I have trouble with is his rebelliousness and his independence. He wants complete freedom in what he does.And here you are, whining about your 75 grand and threatening to sue your son and sic the cops on him. Hoo. Rah.
You can try to justify it any way you want and make all manner of excuses. The current state of play itself reflects how desperately you're trying to fool yourself.
Originally posted by Cranere:Deal. What deal? The way I see it, PAP hasn't been keeping it's deals either.http://www.temasekreview.com/2010/05/20/8-reasons-why-singaporeans-should-just-leave-singapore/
If PAP is not keeping its deals, then whatever "deals" is given has no burden on me anyway. A deal is only a deal when both parties agree specifically on the results, not the terms. The result that was expected was this: son goes to ns and I get 75k back. The terms was this: son runs away and I lose 75k. Your definition of a deal is epic fail.
Oh, I see. So because you claim the other party doesn't keep its deals, it's perfectly all right for you to not keep yours?
NOBODY forced you to put up the bond - you chose to do it and now you are looking to worm your way out of your decision. That's irresponsible, plain and simple.
Still epic fail.
Originally posted by Cranere:You do not judge what is irresponsible. The fact that you have time on this forum while I slog everyday for my family can also mean that you are irresponsible. Since you do not know the conditions exactly, keep your darn mouth shut.No, I don't judge, I conclude - the facts as you have presented them point squarely to your irresponsibility.
The fact that I can post on the forum simply means that when my clients agree to pay three and a half grand a day for my professional time and then hold up the process, I can chill instead of getting my knickers in a twist slogging like some poor slob.
Lemme lay it out for you, sunshine. I've been there and done that - if there's a stunt to be pulled I've seen it. I've had my fair share of wins and losses with the scars to go with it all, and sport, you've been had in the biggest way possible.
Now I have to take my hat off to you for coming into a place full of strangers and admitting that you've been right buttfucked by your boy - that takes a certain kind of gumption.
Or stupidity. Take your pick because I really don't care.
The fact of the matter is that you're rightfully angry at getting screwed proper, but you're just being childish in trying to take it out on folks who have sweet fuck-all to do with your predicament. After all, if they had anything to do with it, wouldn't you be going after them for your 75 grand?
So grow up, be a man and deal with the loss of your cash without being a drama queen and going after people who had no part in the loss of your wad.
Sheesh.
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Originally posted by Fatum:
*sniff sniff ...........
this story doesn't smell quite right ........
you guys think so ? ....
Smells like a week-old-cod to me.
What's even more disturbing is if this guy's actually on the level. Whatever he's smoking, I'll take a bag of that, thanks.
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I hope his son sign up for the Marines.
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Since the TS is so smart maybe he can try sueing the government for the 75k.
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TS, LPPL, the only thing u can do is to locate your son and ask him to come back.
On the flip side, if he doesn't, it is better to get a clear idea who your son really is, rather that later when you are old and he throws you into the old folks home and let you rot there. I don't pretend that I know your son better than you do but clearly, when he "ca-but" and let you handle the mess at home clearly looks like you don't either.
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So much fail. Such a son what to do
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I can kinda see the reason why the son prolly ran away in the first place. And this time, it's not NS.
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Very cool story.
Blame the son, but whose responsible for the son ?