Depression in NS: Must I Tell More to Psychiatrist@SAF Ward?
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Hello everyone, I have lots of things to say/ask.
I hope someone had post something smiliar before. I don't wanna get charge. I'm really scare.
I don't know what to say but hope I can make myself clearer to you guys.
I'm now PES C9 L9 storeman trainee, I use to be a very happy person who can makes around well and do jokes a lot and welcome challenges . I had lots of interest in Fashion Design, I can cope very well when working outside and my bosses likes me a lot. I used to be in Cross Country and can run well but after I went to CMPB for checkup and that's when I know I had Beta Thalassemia, a kind of blood disorder. I was given PES C9 L2. Every friend of mine thinks well of me and thinks that I will be very garang in NS life.
The first day I got enlisted to Tekong and got into a C9 company. I was different from what I imagined was. Instead I was very stress and depressed. So different that I am so vex / stress till I cried and felt suicidal everyday single day. I can't adapt to the enviroment, I don't even know what's stressing me so much. After around the 3 bookout all my friends and girlfriend find that I had changed. They told me you wasn't acting like you use to be a happy and cheerful person. A person that everyone's likes to being with and followed.
I love drawings and imagine a cloth that it will look awesome when it attached to someone. I took out all of my drawing material and found out that I can't think or imagine anymore. I flare up and throw all my drawings and port folio away and that's when I felt useless and worthless. Till 1 day my gf wanted me to become her Fashion Adviser and change her style. I didn't do anything on that day and was just saying everything is OK. She then told me she notice I had changed and she told me " You are useless now, I don't know what you are thinking anymore. "
I went through a 7 weeks BMT and that's when I start to be paranoid. I became anti social, Everyday I come to camp, all I do is just sit at 1 corner and smoke and smoke and wait for 5.30pm to bookout. I will go to poly clinic to take MC and it's like almost every week. After some times the Doctor doesn't wants to give me MC anymore, Thats when I start to do stuff like trying to break my leg. I've done it and I don't have enough strength to break it. I posted on facebook and etc ....... that I will pay 500 bucks if someone help to break my leg. Lots of reply but none wanted to help me. I approached my friend and they didnt want to help too.
I know I'm useless and everyone said it's just 2 years just endure with it. No one understand me. I didnt mention that I was at first a Driver Trainne. It's until when I went for the driving course and it requires to stay in. I just can't stay in and that makes me even more worse till one of my friend that I went to driving course with drag me to see the MO. My friend who I know him for about 2 weeks told me that I must be suffering from depression.So I went in and I don't know what to tell the MO and ended just saying i'm stress and I got refer to the SAF MMI. And that's how I got OOC.
I was scare to tell psychiatrist what I wanted to say. I don't trust them instead I just told them I'm stress and my family issue. The psychiatrist told me I was suffering from depression and got down PES to C9 L9. They gave me Lexapro and a kind of sleeping pill to eat. I don't know whether should I trust them? Should I tell them everything? My psychiatrist seems to be very scary person or I'm just paranoid?
It's around 4 - 5 months ago, I would go back home and starting screaming and throwing things. If someone is at home I would go down to the nearby park and start screaming. It's until when my gf and I started to quarrel and I heard someone telling me that I must cut her. I couldn't control myself that I kick her in the stomach and she vomit a small pool of blood. My Mom and Sis saw it and they stopped me.
I always felt sucidal until last month I heard that someone tells me that it's stupid. Now I don't know why I always feel or wants someone to die with me. This 2 months I got into fight outside for 2 times. I don't like the way they look at me. They must be up to something. I got warded for 2 days because I said I wanted to kill someone.
I'm tired, I will stop here.
Can I have some comments what should I do? And The psychiatrist always ask me what can they help me. I really don't know whether should I told them all this? I have so much to say but I can't say it out and I guess they can't help me.
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If you want help,dun hold anything back.
If you withold anything, even God also cannot help you ; cos you dun wanna help yourself.
Dun doubt the ability of SAF psychiatrists, they are the same as those outside one, just that SAF one usually tend to eagerly look out for keng cases. But i can see that you are genuine case, and since it's free and not anything out of your pocket why not?
Help yourself in order to help for family and gf by not bringing them anymore misery by going for the treatment properly.
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basically what kengkia said...
you want to withhold whatever from the shrink is like you withholding the information and the doctor cannot prescribe the needed medication for you...
it's idiotic and counter-productive
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I look at your posting. I dont see what is wrong. Thalaessemia is a very common blood disorder. This gene exist to protect you against malaria and many other mosquitp transmited dieseases. You can wiki it out.
I think you are both blessed and cursed.
The problem with this blood disorder is the blood count can get very low.So naturally, you cannot chiong for long. It usually reflected as extreme fatigue. So daily life as a civilizan you are surely normal. Challenges come in finding a partner.
How many people wants to keng to get a lower Pes status, so that they can be more slack in NS? Yet you are already C9L2 without much real physical defect.
I think you are ill-informed. ignorant.
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Please tell the MO truthfully, do not hide anything.
When you tell them truthfully, then they can give you a suitable PES grading and if necessarily excuse you from certain activities like firearms or stay-in to help you cope with your military life.
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I think Threadstarter is a genuine case.
I am wondering do you go CMPB for counsuelling?
If I am not wrong normally they also let you go for counsuelling in CMPB.
Tell your counsueller if you go CMPB for counsuelling.
Tell him/her truthfully and do not hide anything from him.
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si bei weak lor...
KNNBCCB!!! you have a good life and you are now ruining it yourself?? Is it ya life has always been perfect so much so that this is consider your very first setback??
You have all the friends you need, you have a girlfriend, a good family, you boss likes you... blah blah blah...
And best of all, is you are PES C9, which so many of us wanted. You dont have to go through the normal BMT, you still kpkb...
You should be blessed... your life is really good, even army also good life..
Please, i think the problem lies with your mentally. Your are mentally not strong enough, you should try to be more positive, and stop being negative and looking for the easy way out like death..
And lastly, i despise you for kicking your girlfriend, you fucking piece of weakling, disgrace for the men.
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someone telling you to cut your girlfriend ? you are hearing voices ?
i heard that some parts of the army compound can be haunted. Are you being possessed ? being followed by a spirit?
suicidal thoughts are signs of depression. Hearing voices to hurt another person is more of the spiritual type. But some spirits who try to possess you also want you to kill yourselves ( watch the serial incredible tales).
Sorry just trying to help. I think your case is quite extreme and you are trying to help yourself.
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Hey,
I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I think what you are experiencing is depression with psychosis. Depression can alter different brain strucctures impairing memory and affect other cognitive functions diminishing mental/artisitic ability. As such, if you are experiecing reduced mental/artisitic ability its possibly due to the effects of depression as suggested by your other symptoms. Pls approach a psychiatrist as soon as possible. It is a serious matter especially when you are now experiencing symptoms of psychosis which could put yourself and others in danger. Psychiatric diseases are real disorders and can affect people in very tangible and unfortunate ways. A psychiatrist is the best person to help you in this case. They would be able to assess and treat your condition appropriately.
All the best!
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i can only say,it all started when you realised that u had Beta Thalassemia, and bone marrow transplant is the only way out, unless you are happy to have blood transfusion for rest of your life,which can acmmulate your monthly expenses.
I believe that the root of the problem must be eliminated before we deal with the problems itself, so that you can return to your original self.
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As everyone elese here has said: be fully honest and truthful to your MO.
If you have both physical and psychological issues, the only way for you to get help is through full disclosure of everything that you are experiencing currently.
Partial disclosure will lead to lack of medical help at best and a dead-wrong diagnosis (leading to wrong treatment) at worst.
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Hearing voices can indicate psychosis like schizioprenic.Of course depression can lead to pychosis.
There's a depression with pyschosis features.
Please be truthful and tell MO/army psychiatrist truthfully to get an accurate diagnosis.
This is my advice to threadstarter.
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Originally posted by Wiser:
someone telling you to cut your girlfriend ? you are hearing voices ?
i heard that some parts of the army compound can be haunted. Are you being possessed ? being followed by a spirit?
suicidal thoughts are signs of depression. Hearing voices to hurt another person is more of the spiritual type. But some spirits who try to possess you also want you to kill yourselves ( watch the serial incredible tales).
Sorry just trying to help. I think your case is quite extreme and you are trying to help yourself.
Wiser dun scare him by saying spiritual pocession.
I have reasons to believe he have psychosis or other mental disorder.
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Originally posted by Cute Dolphin:
Wiser dun scare him by saying spiritual pocession.
I have reasons to believe he have psychosis or other mental disorder.
not scaring him . He scares me instead. Hearing voices to tell him to be violent., to kill someone. What if he loses control and takes his military gun and shoot around ?Psychosis is a scientific term , using medicine to control the mind. The other side of psychosis is "spiritual possession" which only those with supernatural power can cure. Two sides of a coin. More options for him to consider for treatment.
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Originally posted by Addict taintedlove:
Hello everyone, I have lots of things to say/ask.
I hope someone had post something smiliar before. I don't wanna get charge. I'm really scare.
I don't know what to say but hope I can make myself clearer to you guys.
I'm now PES C9 L9 storeman trainee, I use to be a very happy person who can makes around well and do jokes a lot and welcome challenges . I had lots of interest in Fashion Design, I can cope very well when working outside and my bosses likes me a lot. I used to be in Cross Country and can run well but after I went to CMPB for checkup and that's when I know I had Beta Thalassemia, a kind of blood disorder. I was given PES C9 L2. Every friend of mine thinks well of me and thinks that I will be very garang in NS life.
The first day I got enlisted to Tekong and got into a C9 company. I was different from what I imagined was. Instead I was very stress and depressed. So different that I am so vex / stress till I cried and felt suicidal everyday single day. I can't adapt to the enviroment, I don't even know what's stressing me so much. After around the 3 bookout all my friends and girlfriend find that I had changed. They told me you wasn't acting like you use to be a happy and cheerful person. A person that everyone's likes to being with and followed.
I love drawings and imagine a cloth that it will look awesome when it attached to someone. I took out all of my drawing material and found out that I can't think or imagine anymore. I flare up and throw all my drawings and port folio away and that's when I felt useless and worthless. Till 1 day my gf wanted me to become her Fashion Adviser and change her style. I didn't do anything on that day and was just saying everything is OK. She then told me she notice I had changed and she told me " You are useless now, I don't know what you are thinking anymore. "
I went through a 7 weeks BMT and that's when I start to be paranoid. I became anti social, Everyday I come to camp, all I do is just sit at 1 corner and smoke and smoke and wait for 5.30pm to bookout. I will go to poly clinic to take MC and it's like almost every week. After some times the Doctor doesn't wants to give me MC anymore, Thats when I start to do stuff like trying to break my leg. I've done it and I don't have enough strength to break it. I posted on facebook and etc ....... that I will pay 500 bucks if someone help to break my leg. Lots of reply but none wanted to help me. I approached my friend and they didnt want to help too.
I know I'm useless and everyone said it's just 2 years just endure with it. No one understand me. I didnt mention that I was at first a Driver Trainne. It's until when I went for the driving course and it requires to stay in. I just can't stay in and that makes me even more worse till one of my friend that I went to driving course with drag me to see the MO. My friend who I know him for about 2 weeks told me that I must be suffering from depression.So I went in and I don't know what to tell the MO and ended just saying i'm stress and I got refer to the SAF MMI. And that's how I got OOC.
I was scare to tell psychiatrist what I wanted to say. I don't trust them instead I just told them I'm stress and my family issue. The psychiatrist told me I was suffering from depression and got down PES to C9 L9. They gave me Lexapro and a kind of sleeping pill to eat. I don't know whether should I trust them? Should I tell them everything? My psychiatrist seems to be very scary person or I'm just paranoid?
It's around 4 - 5 months ago, I would go back home and starting screaming and throwing things. If someone is at home I would go down to the nearby park and start screaming. It's until when my gf and I started to quarrel and I heard someone telling me that I must cut her. I couldn't control myself that I kick her in the stomach and she vomit a small pool of blood. My Mom and Sis saw it and they stopped me.
I always felt sucidal until last month I heard that someone tells me that it's stupid. Now I don't know why I always feel or wants someone to die with me. This 2 months I got into fight outside for 2 times. I don't like the way they look at me. They must be up to something. I got warded for 2 days because I said I wanted to kill someone.
I'm tired, I will stop here.
Can I have some comments what should I do? And The psychiatrist always ask me what can they help me. I really don't know whether should I told them all this? I have so much to say but I can't say it out and I guess they can't help me.
PHUI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cho tam po ping kao beh si mi lan jiao.......?!!
C9L9 somemore, still make noise......
WORSE THAN DIRT !!!!!!!!!!!!!
PHUI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Originally posted by Wiser:
not scaring him . He scares me instead. Hearing voices to tell him to be violent., to kill someone. What if he loses control and takes his military gun and shoot around ?Psychosis is a scientific term , using medicine to control the mind. The other side of psychosis is "spiritual possession" which only those with supernatural power can cure. Two sides of a coin. More options for him to consider for treatment.
keng or real, i am sure MO wun wanna take any chances, PES F coming TS's direction.
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Originally posted by kengkia:
keng or real, i am sure MO wun wanna take any chances, PES F coming TS's direction.
siao leow...... next generations all keng in this way in Army next time, SAF bo lang liao..... my regular friend jobless liao.....
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Originally posted by kengkia:
keng or real, i am sure MO wun wanna take any chances, PES F coming TS's direction.
If diagnose with psychosis surely PES E or F. -
Originally posted by Ä«Õß:¸ïÀë:
siao leow...... next generations all keng in this way in Army next time, SAF bo lang liao..... my regular friend jobless liao.....
You cannot blame our generation.Our generation stress endurance level worst than first generation SAF enlistees.
BTW, my mom's kampung also got people kanna discharged from NS.
He served NS and became insane. Even first generation enlistees became insane.
The problem is Mindef did not compensate the family.
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Originally posted by Wiser:
not scaring him . He scares me instead. Hearing voices to tell him to be violent., to kill someone. What if he loses control and takes his military gun and shoot around ?Psychosis is a scientific term , using medicine to control the mind. The other side of psychosis is "spiritual possession" which only those with supernatural power can cure. Two sides of a coin. More options for him to consider for treatment.
I was cured of psychosis through psychiatric treatment.I was treated in early psychosis stages.
It's not necessarily spiritual in nature.
I am a christian but do not believe all psychosis cases are spiritual causes.
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Originally posted by Cute Dolphin:
I was cured of psychosis through psychiatric treatment.I was treated in early psychosis stages.
It's not necessarily spiritual in nature.
I am a christian but do not believe all psychosis cases are spiritual causes.
but it may be spiritual in some cases. I am a buddhist and i believe some cases could be spiritual related.
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Originally posted by Wiser:
but it may be spiritual in some cases. I am a buddhist and i believe some cases could be spiritual related.
In christian contex, some cases might be spiritual in nature but certainly not all. -
not all but still the possiblity is there. Treatment should be for all types of cases.
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from the postings above, nobody noticed his case is "hearing voices' till i mentioned it.
Everyone is applying their normal perception of tough life in NS lead to depression etc to this guy.
He knows he has an unusual case and he is afraid to share more with the pyschatrist in case he ends up in the Mental hospital. This poor kid is trying hard to help himself but SCARED of the judgement.
Whether psychosis or spiritually related, i hope he can get the right treatment and nobody gets "killed" in the end.
I am going to post an article on kundalini awakenings and the symptoms. This is another kind of strange happenings to humans.