The Electric New Paper :
Just like the 'real' thing
MOST of us know that the professional wrestling that you see on television isn't real.
By Ian Tan
08 December 2006
MOST of us know that the professional wrestling that you see on television isn't real.
From the cheesy drama to the outrageous acrobatic stunts, these matches are usually carefully scripted and choreographed to look as authentic as possible.
Now, a videogame based on World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) matches takes the fakery a little further.
Think about it - the Xbox 360 game known as Smackdown Vs Raw 2007 is actually a simulation of a simulated reality.
Who cares, you say, as long as it feels and plays like the real thing?
But what makes a real wrestling match? When was the last time you watched one?
The game is undoubtedly fun, but it made me ask myself the following questions incessantly.
1. Are the punches real?
Oddly enough, the showy lightning-fast punches to the face and knocks against the metal stairs are replicated in full in the game.
The same goes for those flying tackles, leg locks and sudden neck twists.
But is your virtual opponent feeling the pain? Or is it ultimately just for show?
What will really hurt is the maddening number of loading screens. Imagine having to wait two or three minutes just to start a match!
2. When is the next plot twist coming?
Roughly every two weeks in your season, the scriptwriters will introduce a plot twist that brings in new enemies (think ugly faces like Boogeyman, Ric Flair and The Undertaker), or make sudden allies out of your existing opponents.
Expect to be betrayed and slammed with a metal chair across your back by your best friend.
3. Do I actually have control over who wins the match?
Often, you will be set up for a handicapped match and have to watch helplessly as your WWE wrestler is brutally pummeled by two opponents.
A cut-scene at the end of the match gloats over your failure and conveniently moves the story forward.
So it's not about how fast you can twist those gamepad thumbsticks, dear.
4. Who are these weird wrestlers anyway?
Does it matter what their real names are?
With high-quality 3D reproductions of your favourite wrestlers, these beefcakes (and hot babes) look and strut creepily like the real thing.
Unlock loads of famous names from Hulk Hogan to The Rock, then enter every pay-per-view event like Wrestlemania to prove your worth.
It really feels like the televised matches, except you are in absolute control.
Or are you?
Rating: *** 1/2
