Ghostbuster Training Manual
© 1984 Columbia Pictures Industried, Inc. Written by Christopher Brown
Last Updated: July 21, 1997
A Guide To Catching GhostsAre you bored with your life? Are you tired of the same old routine? Then consider this: You too can have an exciting career as a GHOSTBUSTER! This manual is designed to start you on your way. Everything you need to know about the science of Ghostbusting is right here on the net!
To earn your Ghostbusting degree, (coming soon) study each lesson carefully, print out the certificate. Sign your name on the Official Certificate of Achievement, and ...you're a Ghostbuster! Now, lets get started!
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Lesson 1: Ghostbuster Headquarters Of course, every beginning Ghostbuster needs a headquarters. Preferably it should be a run-down fire station, but some other building such as an abandoned railroad depot, an old army barracks, or a bankrupt chicken ranch, can be substituted. The important lesson to be learned is that the professional Ghostbuster headquarters must have a certain laid-back atmosphere in order to reassure clients frightened out of their wits. Also, and most importantly, these dumps are cheap to buy!
Lesson 2: Ghostbuster Transportation Fast, dependable transportation is important to a Ghostbuster. A converted hearse is, of course, the best - note photo of Ectomobile. Not only is a hearse roomy enough to carry all your scientific Ghostbusting equipment, but it is also weird and attracts attention. In other words, it's good business. If you are unable to locate a suitable hearse, consider an old garbage truck or even a war surplus armored personnel carrier. Remember, however, that at first business will be slow - so get something cheap!
Lesson 3: Proton Pack The most important piece of Ghostbusting equipment is, of course, the proton pack. This device consists of a nuclear accelerator and a particle thrower. The ion stream produced by the proton pack is extremely destructive, but it is also the only known method of cornering a ghost. Acquiring a proton pack is not easy - nuclear accelerators have to be liscensed. However, with a little inventive genius, almost anyone can designe and build one. CAUTION! Never point your particle thrower at anything but a ghost!
Lesson 4: Ghost Trap The next most important piece of Ghostbuster gear is the ghost trap. This is a complicated electronic device used for transporting a captured ghost. It consists of a foot pedal and cord attached to a long flat metal box approximately two feet long. Although trapping a ghost is no easy task, it is a skill the beginning Ghostbuster must master. Particularly difficult to trap is the Class Five Full Roaming Vapor. Watch out or you will get SLIMED!
Lesson 5: Ecto-Containment Unit Another essential piece of Ghostbusting gear is the Ecto-Containment Unit. No Ghostbuster would be complete without one. What's the point of catching a ghost if you don't have any place to keep it, right? The storage facility is a concrete block vault in the basement of Ghostbuster Headquarters. A powerful electronic grid prevents evil spirits from escaping. But be careful! Too much psychokinetic entergy (PKE to Ghostbusters) and BANG! A ghost explosion like you wouldn't believe!
Lesson 6: Ghostbuster Courage A Ghostbuster must develop amazing courage in order to face up to the job. Teeth chattering, knees knocking, and hands shaking, the Ghostbuster is required to complete the assigned task no matter what. Nothing can interfere with ridding the world of ghosts. A Ghostbuster is always professional. Remember the Ghostbuster motto:
Back Off Man! I'm a Scientist!
Lesson 7: Class Five Full Roaming Vapors As previously mentioned, this type of ghost is particulartly difficult to trap. Horribly ugly, trailing smelly ectoplasmic goo, roamers inhabit places where food is plentiful. They will eat anything and everything, but are known to like leftover pizza best.* People who encounter one are usually so offended that they can't move. This allows time for the roamer to perform his favorite trick - SLIMING! Once slimed, a Ghostbuster never forgets!
* especially if the anchovies are cold and smelly.
Lesson 8: Terror Dogs Luckily these evil creatures are rare. They are demons which occasionally occupy old fashioned buildings like post offices or museums. During the daylight hours, they appear to be made of stone. But every expirienced Ghostbuster knows better! These bests are real dogs! Sometimes Terror Dogs are mistaken for bears or cougars, but the red eyes are a dead give-away. Don't let them corner you.
Lesson 9: Your Final Exam What's that? Coming down the street! Oh no, it's the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man crushing everything in his path. The crowd screams with terror and begs for help. Who ya gonna call? That's right, Ghostbusters!
A full-fledged Ghostbuster must be prepared to deal with any crisis, even the evil Destructor. Spooks, roamers, ancient demons - nothing stands in a Ghostbuster's way. Remember the Ghostbuster battle cry:
I Ain't 'Fraid O' No Ghosts!
Lesson 10: Graduation Day A Ghostbuster must be ready, day or night, to answer the call of duty. "H-h-help! A Ghost!" If you crave excitement, adventure, thrills, chills... if you've got what it takes...consider yourself a Ghostbuster. From now on, when someone says, "Who ya gonna call?" They are gonna call
YOU!
Upon completetion of the course, be sure to register with Ghostbusters International and the GB PBEM RPG.