Funny Things Kids Say....
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Rosemarie, the only girl in a family of boys, went fishing with her dad. When they got back, Rosemarie proudly showed her grandma the fish she got. "And now you have to clean them," her grandmother said. Rosemarie responded, "No, Grandma, we don't have to clean them. They just came out of the water!" -- Ruby Braun (grandmother of Rosemarie) of Wautoma, Wisconsin.
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Betty's grandson James, 3, was expecting a baby sister. He had known about it for a long time and was getting eager to see her. One day he said, "Mommy, just put a zipper on your tummy. I'll only take a little peek and you can zip her in again." -- Betty Jean Parker of Cheyenne, Wyoming.
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Paige, 7, has acquired several pets, mostly stray kittens that people have dropped off in the country. Unfortunately two met untimely passings. Paige wanted to know where cats and dogs go when they die. Her grandmother told her a story about "Rainbow Heaven" for pets and that satisfied Paige. Then her puppy, Alfalfa, got run over. That evening they were having a funeral for him and Paige asked everyone to say a prayer. When it was Paige's turn she got shy and said, "I don't know what to say". Her mom told her to just say what she'd like for Jesus to have Alfalfa do to have fun in "Rainbow Heaven." Paige bowed her head and with all seriousness said, "Jesus, don't You let Alfalfa mess with my cats up there!" On that note the funeral ended. -- Patsy Campbell (grandmother of Paige) of Portland, Tennessee.
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When Caitlin was 2 they lived in an apartment complex with a pool. Every evening when they got home Caitlin would start stripping her clothes off and yell, "Get you Baby Soup on Mommy and we go to the Pooh!" She wanted her mother to put on her bathing suit so that they could go to the pool! -- Christal Bricker (mother of Caitlin and Kyle) of Colorado Springs, Colorado.
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Adriana, 7, was playing Scrabble with her mother Irma. Irma put down the word "sir" and Adriana said, "What's that word?" Irma told her, "sir." Then Adriana looked at her tiles and put down the word "up" in front of "sir." Irma said, "Upsir is not a word." Adriana said, "Yes, it is, Mommy, you know 'that's upsir.'" (Adriana meant, "That's absurd!") -- Irma Cisneros of Detroit, Michigan.
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Victoria, 6, often visits her neighbor Linda and feels free to ask for just about anything she wants to eat or drink. But there are times she needs to check with her parents to see if she can eat certain things because she has acid reflux. In a recent conversation, Victoria said, "I had some chocolate and it didn't throw me up!" -- Linda Whittaker of South Carolina.
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Terry, 2, went shopping with his mother Shirley. They were standing at the meat counter and Shirley let him choose the Thanksgiving turkey. Naturally, he chose the biggest one. The butcher was nearby and volunteered to take Terry into the meat locker. When he returned, Shirley asked, "What did you see in there, Terry?" As loudly as he could, he responded "DEAD HORSES!" To this day, 44 years later, that butcher says Terry ruined his business with just two words! -- Shirley McGinnis of
Illinois.
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Janice's granddaughter, 4, came over with bandages on both knees. When Janice asked her what happened, she replied, "My stick horse threw me off!" -- Janice Finley of Arab, Alabama.
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Michelle's father is bald and has a beard. When Michelle's little girl was 3, he was rocking her to sleep. It was a beautiful sight. Just as she was closing her eyes, Michelle's little girl sighed and said, "Pepe, why is your head on upside down!" -- Michelle Munroe of Wareham, Massachusetts. -
It was Sunday morning and time for the children's message. The children had all come forward to the front of the church and were gathered around the pastor. His topic was based upon the scripture passage, Ephesians 2:8: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast." The pastor asked the children, "Does anyone know what you have to do to get to heaven?" There was a short silence, then one child said, "Well, you have to die." -- Judith Hersel of Boulder City, Nevada.
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Jay and his wife took their granddaughter Baillie, 5, to a nearby farm owned by a close friend. Jay's friend was telling them that two wild ducks had decided to build nests on his farm and one had taken up residence next to the main house and very close to his wife's flower garden. He said the
mother duck was using the flowers to build her nest. On the way home Baillie broke the silence with, "I know why that mama duck built her nest with the flowers -- so her babies will smell good!" -- Jay Miller of Slaterville, Utah.
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Kids say kids say the darndest things,
All the magical things that come from the heart,
Kids say kids say the darndest things,
Kids always say what they wanna. -
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yesOriginally posted by boy in blues:
Kids say kids say the darndest things,
All the magical things that come from the heart,
Kids say kids say the darndest things,
Kids always say what they wanna. -
Hahaha.... They r so cute...
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Carson, 6, told Grandma Kas, "Grammy, I have a cut on my leg." Kas told him that she was sorry. Then Carson pulled up his pajama leg to show Kas. It wasn't much of a "cut" so Kas asked him how he "cut" himself. "On the cat," he replied. -- Kas Quimby of Elma, Washington.
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On Easter Sunday, Helen's niece, her husband and their 3-year-old twins, Stephen and Brandon, along with Helen's sister and brother-in-law drove to Arkansas from Missouri. Helen's sister was bragging about how well little Stephen talked and how clearly he could say Arkansas. Wanting to hear him say Arkansas, Helen kept asking him, "Stephen, where are you?" His twin brother looked at Helen with a questioning look. Finally, after Helen's third time of asking, "Stephen, where are you?" Brandon looked at Helen and said, "He RIGHT THERE!" -- Helen A. Weeks of Bella Vista, Arkansas.
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Daniel and his wife Lisa were taking their kids to the mall. They live in Napa Valley, California, and they drove by a pasture full of dairy cattle. Their youngest daughter, Nina, 11, looked out the window and said, "Hey, look, those cows are pasturized!" -- Daniel McPherson of Napa, California.
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One time when the family was on vacation, Jason, 3, had trouble adjusting to sleeping in a different place. He kept calling his mother in for different reasons -- a drink of water, etc. Finally, his mother said, "I've made my last trip. You need to close your eyes and try to go to sleep." A few minutes later a little voice called from the bedroom, "Mommy, can you come in here so I can see how pretty you are?" -- Colleen (mother of Jason) of Cincinnati, Ohio.
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Ian, 2, was staying with his grandparents while his parents were out of town. His grandmother was trying to get him to take a nap, but Ian wanted no part of it. Grandpa came into the room and said, "Ian, you have to take a nap so that you can grow." Ian thought for a few seconds and then replied, "I'll stay short, Granddaddy!" -- Lisa Parker (grandmother of Ian) of Savannah, Georgia.
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Moushumi is a teacher in South Africa. Her students had all been photographed and she was trying to persuade each one to buy a copy of the group photo. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you're all grown up and say, 'There's Nondumiso, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Kyle, he's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the classroom rang out, "And there's the teacher... she's dead!" -- Moushumi Maharaj of Pietermaritzburg, South Africa.
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While flying kites on a cool spring day, Anthony, 5, looked at his arm and said, "Mommy, I have chicken pox... I'm so cold that the chicken pox (goose bumps) just showed up!" -- Terri (mother of Anthony) of Eau Claire, Wisconsin.
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Alex started to learn numbers in preschool. One day he brought home a 6 and his mom asked him to read. He said "six." Then his mom turned the page upside down and asked Alex to read again. Alex said, "Mom, you are wrong, you should turn the page upside up!" -- Angela (mother of Alex) of
San Jose, California.
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Luke was watching his mother put cold cream on her face. Luke asked, "What ya doing?" His mother answered, "I am making myself pretty." As Luke started to leave, his mother started wiping the cold cream off. Luke turned around, grabbed her hand tight, and with a panic in his voice, said, "Mom, DON'T give up yet!" -- James Finley (uncle of Luke) of Arab, Alabama.
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Baillie, 5, was telling her friend Amanda that she was given some new earrings. Amanda asked her if they were diamonds. Baillie replied, "No, they're not diamonds, they're more like circles." -- Jay Miller (grandfather of Baillie) of Slaterville, Utah.
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Ashley, 3, and Allison, 5, were visiting their grandmother. She was doing some cleaning, and she asked Allison to take the broom and sweep off the large front porch. Allison didn't hesitate. When the grandmother saw the 3-year-old watching her big sister sweep, she was afraid she would feel left out so she asked, "Ashley, why don't you help clean off the porch." Ashley stuck out her lower lip, rolled her eyes and said, "I'm NOT your Cinderella!" -- Lottie Royal (grandmother of Ashley and Allison) of Wray, Georgia.
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Gene decided to get a curly perm. Getting the curly perm made him about two hours late getting home. Stephen, 2, had never seen his father with curly hair. He had been waiting at the door, watching for his father. When his dad came through the door, Stephen did not go immediately to his father. He looked at his father for several minutes -- almost as if he didn't know him -- and then said, finally, "Dad, you got circles in your hair!" -- Reba Wagner (mother of Stephen) of Dunlap, Tennessee.
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Cody, 6, was watching a show on the Discovery Channel about underwater animals. When a jellyfish appeared on the screen, he asked his mother what it was. She told him and he replied very seriously, "So that's where you get jelly from!" -- Selma Ornelas (mother of Cody) of Arlington, Washington.
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Cassie is a preschool teacher. One day, one of her students was telling a story and Cassie was writing down what she said. The little girl was speaking fast and Cassie had already filled up one page. Cassie said, "Slow down, please, I can't keep up. You're talking too fast." The little girl replied, "I have fast breath." -- Cassie Campbell of Paris, Kentucky.
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Cassie, 2, was drawing a picture of her sister Haley, 4. She was nearly finished and her grandmother noticed that she had not drawn any hair. "Where is Haley's hair?" her grandmother asked. Cassie showed her grandmother the pen and said, "It's still in here!" -- Elizabeth Humphrey (grandmother of Cassie and Haley) of Southside, Alabama.
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On Mother's Day weekend, Lora's family went camping. They were all outside enjoying the beautiful spring weather. Ashlyn, 7, and her friend Vanessa were coloring Mother's Day cards for Lora outside on the picnic table. Evan, 10, was playing football with his dad, and Alysia, 3, was sifting sand, gravel and rocks through a sifter. Alysia got Lora's attention when she yelled proudly, "Look, Mommy, I drew you a picture, too!" It was on the hood of Lora's brand new car. She did it with a rock! Lora explained to her that what she did was very bad, and it would have to be repainted. Alysia said crying, innocently, "Oh Mommy, I'm very sorry, but can I help you paint it? I will make it pretty for you!" -- Lora Perkins of Dubuque, Iowa.