Why we love children....
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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.
"Dead." She was informed.
"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move, " answered the child
innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move." -
Children's science exams ... These are real answers given by children.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. -
The Moral of the Story.
A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
One little girl began, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of
egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pick-up when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess.
"What's the moral of the story ?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket"
"Very good", said the teacher.
Another little girl raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers
too but we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks.
The moral to this story is, "Don't count your chickens before they're
hatched." "That's a fine story", said the teacher.
A little boy at the back of the class is waving his arm wildly.
"Yes, do you have a story to share? " inquired the teacher.
"Yes ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Maureen; Aunt Maureen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of ammunition. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens" said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Maureen when she's been drinking."
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we do?
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Wahahahaha
Hilarious~! -
i love my cute cute little niece because i only sayang her and buy her stuff and bring her out when she's happy and nice. my aunty however take care of all her needs around the clock, and always complain to me very troublesome.
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hmmz lilo love children so much ?? hmmz
purple nose!! 
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jk jk... gotta log out now..