Transform Insults Into Compliments
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if think about it, the reason why people insult you is because they are envy of your achievements (ie. you are stronger than them). It's like the instinct of ego. Actually people don't go around insulting/offend people who are weaker, only to those who show a treat. Knowing this we should be certain to see insults as compliments that you are better than them.
Like when people scold you stupid, we can see it as combination of letter S, T, U, and so on. This is impersonality of phenomana.
QUOTE
So long as people think that the self is permanent and independent, they are bound to be self centred and egoistic. Not only will feel constantly threatened by people and situations, but they will also feel compelled to protect themselves, their possessions, and even their opinions, at any cost.
But once people realise that the self is just a convenient name for a collection of constantly changing physical and mental factors, they will no longer cling to it in fear and insecurity. They will find it easier to grow, learn, develop, and to be generous, kind and compassionate because they will no longer need to be constantly on the defensive.
Understanding the fact of impersonality can help people deal more effectively with everyday situation. It encourages the cultivation of Good Conduct and helps one to progress towards happiness, peace and Enlightenment.
Impermanence, Suffering and impersonality are the three characteristic of existence. Whatever is impermanent is suffering, and whatever is impermanent and suffering is also without an independent self. Those who realise the truth of these three facts of existence will be able to overcome suffering because their minds are freed from delusions of permanence, pleasure and the self.
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It's a training. When people insult us, they actually increase our level of cultivation while increase our wisdom and Decrease our afflictions. How wonderful! So we should be grateful to them as they had like you stated, took a bit of our nasty 'stuff', decrease their level of wisdom and increase their level of afflictions.
Everybody have 80% of good sides, we just want to see the good sides and don't see the bad sides. Guru taught our mind should put all the good/pure things and don't put the unhappy things.
If people wants to be Number One, and we want to be Zero. Now where's the conflict?
Agree that the greatest enermy is Oneself not others.
Even San Zi Jing – The Three-Character Classic taught, that sentient beings are born good with Buddhanature, but due to habit, they become bad.People at their birth,
are naturally good. --Buddhanature
Their natures are much the same;
their habits become widely different. ---Habituos-nature
If foolishly there is no teaching,
the nature will deteriorate.
The right way in teaching,
is to attach the utmost importance
in thoroughness.
May All be happy.
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~What is appearing is merely a manifestation of imprints in my mind. This is my karma.~
The only "definitive truth" for Buddhism is the absolute negation of any one truth as the Definitive Truth. HH Dalai Lama ~
The object is never the source of your problems. We blame and criticize others because we don't like suffering. But if we don't like suffering, we should not harm others and create disharmony; this is what interferes with our happiness. What we want and what we are doing are opposite.Lama Zopa~
The time is now~ Practice is not for another time or another place or another person~It is not differences that divide us; it's our judgments that do~
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Reminds me of a good story:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/canon/sutta/samyutta/sn07-002.html
Samyutta Nikaya VII.2
Akkosa Sutta
Insult
Translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.
For free distribution only.
I have heard that on one occasion the Blessed One was staying near Rajagaha in the Bamboo Grove, the Squirrels' Sanctuary. Then the brahman Akkosaka ("Insulter") Bharadvaja heard that a brahman of the Bharadvaja clan had gone forth from the home life into homelessness in the presence of the Blessed One. Angered & displeased, he went to the Blessed One and, on arrival, insulted & cursed him with rude, harsh words.
When this was said, the Blessed One said to him: "What do you think, brahman: Do friends & colleagues, relatives & kinsmen come to you as guests?"
"Yes, Master Gotama, sometimes friends & colleagues, relatives & kinsmen come to me as guests."
"And what do you think: Do you serve them with staple & non-staple foods & delicacies?"
"Yes, sometimes I serve them with staple & non-staple foods & delicacies."
"And if they don't accept them, to whom do those foods belong?"
"If they don't accept them, Master Gotama, those foods are all mine."
"In the same way, brahman, that with which you have insulted me, who is not insulting; that with which you have taunted me, who is not taunting; that with which you have berated me, who is not berating: that I don't accept from you. It's all yours, brahman. It's all yours.
"Whoever returns insult to one who is insulting, returns taunts to one who is taunting, returns a berating to one who is berating, is said to be eating together, sharing company, with that person. But I am neither eating together nor sharing your company, brahman. It's all yours. It's all yours."
"The king together with his court know this of Master Gotama -- 'Gotama the contemplative is an arahant' -- and yet still Master Gotama gets angry."[1]
[The Buddha:]
Whence is there anger
for one free from anger,
tamed,
living in tune --
one released through right knowing,
calmed
& Such.
You make things worse
when you flare up
at someone who's angry.
Whoever doesn't flare up
at someone who's angry
wins a battle
hard to win.
You live for the good of both
-- your own, the other's --
when, knowing the other's provoked,
you mindfully grow calm.
When you work the cure of both
-- your own, the other's --
those who think you a fool
know nothing of Dhamma.
When this was said, the brahman Akkosaka Bharadvaja said to the Blessed One, "Magnificent, Master Gotama! Magnificent! Just as if he were to place upright what was overturned, to reveal what was hidden, to show the way to one who was lost, or to carry a lamp into the dark so that those with eyes could see forms, in the same way has Master Gotama -- through many lines of reasoning -- made the Dhamma clear. I go to the Blessed One for refuge, to the Dhamma, & to the community of monks. Let me obtain the going forth in Master Gotama's presence, let me obtain admission."
Then the brahman Akkosaka Bharadvaja received the going forth & the admission in the Blessed One's presence. And not long after his admission -- dwelling alone, secluded, heedful, ardent, & resolute -- he in no long time reached & remained in the supreme goal of the holy life, for which clansmen rightly go forth from home into homelessness, knowing & realizing it for himself in the here & now. He knew: "Birth is ended, the holy life fulfilled, the task done. There is nothing further for the sake of this world." And so Ven. Bharadvaja became another one of the arahants. -
5. 'He insulted me, hit me, beat me, robbed me'-- for those who brood on this, hostility isn't stilled.
6. 'He insulted me, hit me, beat me, robbed me' -- for those who don't brood on this, hostility is stilled.
- Dhammapada 1 Pairs -
any special reason why u brought up this topic?Originally posted by sinweiy:if think about it, the reason why people insult you is because they are envy of your achievements (ie. you are stronger than them). It's like the instinct of ego. Actually people don't go around insulting/offend people who are weaker, only to those who show a treat. Knowing this we should be certain to see insults as compliments that you are better than them.
Like when people scold you stupid, we can see it as combination of letter S, T, U, and so on. This is impersonality of phenomana.
QUOTE
So long as people think that the self is permanent and independent, they are bound to be self centred and egoistic. Not only will feel constantly threatened by people and situations, but they will also feel compelled to protect themselves, their possessions, and even their opinions, at any cost.
But once people realise that the self is just a convenient name for a collection of constantly changing physical and mental factors, they will no longer cling to it in fear and insecurity. They will find it easier to grow, learn, develop, and to be generous, kind and compassionate because they will no longer need to be constantly on the defensive.
Understanding the fact of impersonality can help people deal more effectively with everyday situation. It encourages the cultivation of Good Conduct and helps one to progress towards happiness, peace and Enlightenment.
Impermanence, Suffering and impersonality are the three characteristic of existence. Whatever is impermanent is suffering, and whatever is impermanent and suffering is also without an independent self. Those who realise the truth of these three facts of existence will be able to overcome suffering because their minds are freed from delusions of permanence, pleasure and the self.
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jus nice.. someone did insult me.. and i was quite fumed... wanted to scold back but i remained silent... this thread has got my answer i think.. hahaa
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Originally posted by elektra:jus nice.. someone did insult me.. and i was quite fumed... wanted to scold back but i remained silent... this thread has got my answer i think.. hahaa
why did you remain silent? was it started through any fault of yours? if it was not started through any fault of yours, remain silent may not be the option.
i cant quite remember exactly the story of the encounter between the rock and a zen practioner
maybe someone can fill me in ... -
there's a great workable suggestion by MKY, next time, when it happen, go toilet and pee. then when come back, you'll be much cooler.Originally posted by elektra:jus nice.. someone did insult me.. and i was quite fumed... wanted to scold back but i remained silent... this thread has got my answer i think.. hahaa
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...when the Nirvana Sutra was only translated half way, a monk already realised that even material have mind. he was later dispel from the temple when other monks thought that what He discovered was Mara's idea and not BuddhaDharma. After which the monk went to Su Zhou Mountain and gave a Dharma Talk to the rocks.Originally posted by Eye in the Sky:
why did you remain silent? was it started through any fault of yours? if it was not started through any fault of yours, remain silent may not be the option.
i cant quite remember exactly the story of the encounter between the rock and a zen practioner
maybe someone can fill me in ...
After He finished, he ask the rocks whether he had spoken the truth.
The rocks nodded! And it's now called the Nodding rock.
so He still tolerated his seniors. that say bai ren chen jing (hundred tolerance turn gold) . It's all pretenting Bodhisattvas trying to test your patients.
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no it wasnt my fault... he jus insulted my integrity... and scolding me vulgar... this kind of person i dun wanna argue wif.. i wan to save my breathe and prefer to argue wif someone better
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Yes, why treat yourself as a garbage bin and keep all the junks of other people?
"Whoever returns insult to one who is insulting, returns taunts to one who is taunting, returns a berating to one who is berating, is said to be eating together, sharing company, with that person. But I am neither eating together nor sharing your company, brahman. It's all yours. It's all yours." -
Don't see others' faults, see your own.
For if you dwell on others' faults,
your own get stronger.
18. Flaws, Verses 252 & 253
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sounds like a slide to the psychiatric ward ...Originally posted by sinweiy:Don't see others' faults, see your own.
For if you dwell on others' faults,
your own get stronger.
18. Flaws, Verses 252 & 253
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