What would u say to my best fren ...
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My best fren just lost her baby ( miscarriage) ... She has been at home ever since.. ( half year liao ) still very sad.
Recently her emotions seems getting better ever since she went for a Buddhism class.. But her sadness came back when one day she passed by baby products section in a shopping centre.
What should I say to her in the Buddhism way to make her let go? -
In my opinion, there is no ONE answer. Different people have different solutions.
It probably a good idea to guide her along to do some activities (example volunteer works or to do some physical workout exercise). It is at this time, she needs strong support and encouragement from family and friends.
It is also common for her to dwell into the unfortunate event of losing her baby and it is very painful. It is not easy, but possible. Tactfulness needed here. And if she can overcome the pain, she usually will grow stronger and becoming more mature.
For some, volunteering is a great way to overcome the pain. Because the act of volunteering makes one realises that there are many others who are worst off. Instead of dwelling on the lost, it is better off to replace it by giving. The mind can only think about one thing at a time.
Just an opinion. I am not someone who is good at giving advice. -
She can never let it go, its something she has to live with. Its unavoidable
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yes can, but need time.
that say see things as they are(kan4 po4) help letting go (fang4 xia4) while fang4 xia4 help kan4 po4.
so have to study and understand Dharma more in order to let go.
can read more on the not 'I' concept.
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From what I heard, if there is no yin yuan with the child, the baby may get miscarried somehow. That happened to my dharma teacher before and she briefly told us her reason. She went to pray from spirit-deities for a baby because for a very long time she did not get pregnant. After praying she became pregnant within a very very short period of time but later... got miscarried. When my Master came to Singapore and my dharma teacher first met him, my Master's comment was only 'Lai2 Zhe3 Bu4 Shan4' (not virtuous). The lower realm being did not have the karma to be borned in her family.
Anyway everything must have its yin yuan met otherwise it will fall apart. Maybe the baby did not have the karmic affinity (no 'yuan') to be borned in her family. Its not her fault that the baby had to go like that. All are conditioned arisings, when there is arising there will be ending.
I also agree with Sinweiy on the non-self part. Even family members are very unpredictable. Next life even if I meet again I may not even recognise them. So its not really 'mine' after all. That is really just an illusion.
Secondly, since she is in a Buddhist class, perhaps she can ask her teacher for advice too? -
It is definitely possible. Liberation is possible.Originally posted by alexkusu:She can never let it go, its something she has to live with. Its unavoidable
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you can get her to go for children care or children's home to shower care to those orphansOriginally posted by waterfalz:My best fren just lost her baby ( miscarriage) ... She has been at home ever since.. ( half year liao ) still very sad.
Recently her emotions seems getting better ever since she went for a Buddhism class.. But her sadness came back when one day she passed by baby products section in a shopping centre.
What should I say to her in the Buddhism way to make her let go?
or those child being orphans by the tsunami and earthquake -
Liberation is possible. But it takes great effort and time
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Doesn't it contradict with your statement 'She can never let it go, its something she has to live with. Its unavoidable' then?Originally posted by alexkusu:Liberation is possible. But it takes great effort and time
Anyway what you just said (great effort and time) is true for most people. However it is also possible for instantaneous liberation that requires no effort and time. If you have received the 'instantaneous' teaching that is.... -
My statement was directed at her. She can never let it go.Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Doesn't it contradict with your statement 'She can never let it go, its something she has to live with. Its unavoidable' then?
Anyway what you just said (great effort and time) is true for most people. However it is also possible for instantaneous liberation that requires no effort and time. If you have received the 'instantaneous' teaching that is....
My 2nd statement was just to agree with you that liberation is possible but only for certain people.
cheers -
Which means that due to her miscarriage, she'll never have a chance to attain enlightenment in this lifeOriginally posted by alexkusu:My statement was directed at her. She can never let it go.
My 2nd statement was just to agree with you that liberation is possible but only for certain people.
cheers
Actually no la.... I wld say that its possible..
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Well, this is the vissisitudes of life isnt it. Life is precious and so fragile. we might die at any moment, like accidents, sickness or disasters, murders and so forth.
look at the animal kingdom in the forest and jungle, so many animals r being preyed and eaten by bigger animals.
I might be a male in this life, who knows what realm I might be in my next life, maybe a woman or an animal? -
what to say:
Friends:
---Bhikkhu Samahita
The Six Sense Sources Originate & Prolong all Pain!
The Blessed Buddha once said:
Bhikkhus, if one does not really understand both the cause, ceasing,
the satisfaction, the danger, and the escape from the Six Sources of
Contact, then one has not lived the Noble life, & one is quite far away
from comprehending this Dhamma & from practicing this Discipline...
Then a certain bhikkhu said to the Blessed One: Venerable Sir, I am
lost, for I do neither really understand the cause, nor the ceasing,
nor the satisfaction, nor the danger, nor the escape from any of the
Six Sources of Contact ... !!!
What do you think, bhikkhu, do you regard the Eye as:
This is mine, this I am, this is my self? No, Venerable Sir...
What do you think, bhikkhu, do you regard the Ear as:
This is mine, this I am, this is my self? No, Venerable Sir...
What do you think, bhikkhu, do you regard the Nose as:
This is mine, this I am, this is my self? No, Venerable Sir...
What do you think, bhikkhu, do you regard the Tongue as:
This is mine, this I am, this is my self? No, Venerable Sir...
What do you think, bhikkhu, do you regard the Body as:
This is mine, this I am, this is my self? No, Venerable Sir...
What do you think, bhikkhu, do you regard the Mind as:
This is mine, this I am, this is my self? No, Venerable Sir...
Very good, bhikkhu! So should you continue to clearly comprehend the
eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, and the mind as it really is, with correct
understanding thus: This is not mine, this I am not, this is not my self!
In this way will the six sources or contact be left behind, by creating
no future renewed existence! This itself is the End of all Suffering...
Comments:
The cause of the six senses is the arising of name-&-form, body-&-mind...
The six senses cease at the ceasing of name-&-form, body-&-mind...
The satisfaction of the six senses is the pleasure & joy they generate...
The danger of the six senses is their inherent unstable impermanence...
The escape from the six senses is the elimination of craving: Nibbâna!
Source:
The Grouped Sayings of the Buddha. Samyutta Nikaya. Book IV [43]
Section 35: On The 6 Senses. The six sources or contact: 71-2.
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