Religious Conflict between couples
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its silly and shallow, for couples to argue and fight over religion.
I know one net friend, whose parents are buddhism and christian and I have heard of a christian female net friend who said she wont marry her bf cos he is not a christian. -
In that case, I wonder why your christian female net friend is still dating her bf. Wasting both their time.Originally posted by marcteng:its silly and shallow, for couples to argue and fight over religion.
I know one net friend, whose parents are buddhism and christian and I have heard of a christian female net friend who said she wont marry her bf cos he is not a christian. -
Attachment lor.Originally posted by surfbabe:In that case, I wonder why your christian female net friend is still dating her bf. Wasting both their time. -
ya, wasting time. I think she wanted to find a bf first b4 splitting lar.Originally posted by surfbabe:In that case, I wonder why your christian female net friend is still dating her bf. Wasting both their time.
for companionship lor, i suppose. -
The longer they stay together, the more painful it'll be when they decide to split up.
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Fu1 Qi1 shi4 Yuan2. Shan4 Yuan2 Er4 Yuan2. Yuan1 Yuan1 Xiang1 Bao4.
Er2 Nu-i3 Shi Zhai4. Tao3 Zhai4 Huan2 Zhai4. Wu2 Zhai4 Bu4 Lai4. -
surfbabe,
One good attribute I found on you is you are very logical. Not everyone is able to give up boys girls relationship for the sake of the ultimate truth.
You may want to join some buddhist youth group to enlarge your network, and sincerely hope you will find a buddhist boyfriend soon, who will also be your spiritual friend towards enlightenment path.
regards, -
Thanks for your compliment, justdoit77.Originally posted by justdoit77:One good attribute I found on you is you are very logical. Not everyone is able to give up boys girls relationship for the sake of the ultimate truth. Actually I didn't do it purely for the sake of the ultimate truth. I did it because even though Christianity doesn't conform to my way of thinking and I couldn't mould myself to become a devoted Christian with unquestionable faith and belief. I cannot make myself say one thing, but think and do something else. For example, I believe that Jesus Christ sacrificed his life to save many people, possibly including you and me from our sins and I honour and respect him for His noble deeds. But I can't say that I believe I am truly saved from my sins by his selfless deed. I refuse to be a hypocrite and liar to God (if He exists) and myself.You may want to join some buddhist youth group to enlarge your network, and sincerely hope you will find a buddhist boyfriend soon, who will also be your spiritual friend towards enlightenment path.
I was keen to join the Bright Hill Temple group after helping out at one of the tsunami aid events as I was impressed by the positive aura of the people there. But it's too far from my home...have to find somewhere nearer. -
You are a good rare species. I should get you a tiger.Originally posted by surfbabe:I cannot make myself say one thing, but think and do something else.
I wanted to join bright hill temple too, but too far for me. You may want to join the buddhist fellowship at paya lebar, it is quite centralized and more towards east. Otherwise, you can ask eternal now or sinweiy, they sure have a lot of places to recommend to you.Originally posted by surfbabe:I was keen to join the Bright Hill Temple group after helping out at one of the tsunami aid events as I was impressed by the positive aura of the people there. But it's too far from my home...have to find somewhere nearer. -
Hello all,
I happen to understand why some Christians cannot tolerate having a spouse of another faith.
To start off, the Bible actually says so (II Corinthians 6:14-15). Furthermore, Christians are supposed to love Jesus and God over and above your own family. Jesus underscored the importance of this commitment when he said:" If any man come unto me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brother, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he can not be my disciple." God himself also tested Abraham by commanding him to sacrifice his own son as a show of loyalty to God over his own family.
It becomes clear that to a Christian, his life is not his own but rather God's, and his priority and commitment will not be to his family first, but to God and the church. Speaking for myself, I am very committed to my wife and two kids. They will always rank number one in my heart (now I am also a Buddhist, but Buddhism does not require me to make a choice between my family and the dharma), and I expect the same level of commitment from my wife. A Christian spouse obviously cannot give me that kind of loyalty and commitment. Conversely, I cannot give a Christian spouse that same level of loyalty and commitment she demanded of me to God. This is the thing that often causes inter-faith relationship to fail.
In practical terms, a non-Christian spouse will also not understand when they need to dock a significant portion of their family income in order to tithe, and over the long term, this kind of thing can and do cause family friction.
So, surfbabe, it is actually a blessing in disguise that you break up with your boyfriend now, rather than having this problem exploding into your face ten years (and three kids!) later. My advice is to look for a b/f who share the same metaphysical outlook as you, or at least, do not think that religious matters should get in the way of relationships.
(Nb: It is not my intention to disparage Christian values in my post. Christians value different things, and I respect that.) -
Hi BeyondReligion,
Thank you for your kind advice. Yes, I do understand that staunch Christians have a rather extremist view towards certain matters in life and I myself cannot accept this. And I have conveyed my thoughts to my ex, who still believes to this day that I am able to (if I try hard enough) become a devoted Christian.
I give up. It's hard to talk sense to some staunch Christians because they believe so strongly in their personal religious views that they refuse to or are unable to view matters from other angles and believe anyone who doesn't believe in Christianity is gravely wrong and going to hell. No offence to Christians.
This is the first time I have terminated a relationship because of religious differences. Consider this a lesson learnt.
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Thats the christians paradigm or any other religions.Originally posted by surfbabe:Hi BeyondReligion,
Thank you for your kind advice. Yes, I do understand that staunch Christians have a rather extremist view towards certain matters in life and I myself cannot accept this. And I have conveyed my thoughts to my ex, who still believes to this day that I am able to (if I try hard enough) become a devoted Christian. I give up. It's hard to talk sense to some staunch Christians because they believe so strongly in their personal religious views that they refuse to or are unable to view matters from other angles and believe anyone who doesn't believe in Christianity is gravely wrong and going to hell. No offence to Christians.
This is the first time I have terminated a relationship because of religious differences. Consider this a lesson learnt.
Its better to have a clean break now than later. -
i ever have this happened when i was younger... a guy liked me, but i didn't have feelings of like or dislike him just neutral. he confessed to me he liked me but cannot choose to be with me cos i'm not a christian. i just listen but inside my head i was thinking what kinda theory is that??? so narrow so naive so childish so no logic so no compassion so barrier.... i shouldn't think that but thats what i see then. but i didn't say that to him. i just said ok and asked him, so can we be friends also? he said "yeah maybe but cannot be good friends cos u are not a christian but i will still pray for u." i was like
..... then i replied "ok.... thanks." but i never disregard him as a friend no matter which angle he looked at me. cos i know that kind of mentality of his is being brainwashed. nobody's fault.
well, there are many types of things happening, we can't stop or change them all. patience, empathising, understanding, taking it easy, tolerance, not taking things to heart too lightly or seriously is safer & easier to get along with people and live this life.
what u see in others, can u spot your own? yes u can. -
Well, some people have no problems accepting this kind of teachings and some people will not.Originally posted by Beyond Religion:Hello all,
I happen to understand why some Christians cannot tolerate having a spouse of another faith.
To start off, the Bible actually says so (II Corinthians 6:14-15). Furthermore, Christians are supposed to love Jesus and God over and above your own family. Jesus underscored the importance of this commitment when he said:" If any man come unto me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brother, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he can not be my disciple." God himself also tested Abraham by commanding him to sacrifice his own son as a show of loyalty to God over his own family.
For me, I am the latter because the explanation that god created everything is too simple and not logical, like if god created us, who created god and how does god come into being?
There are a lot of things in the world that can't be explained using god analogy. -
sacrificing others' (whether animals or human) lives isn't it considered killing? yeah with whatever powers that can revive (i would say this "so what.... my dear god"....) the unpurified initial thoughts of killing has manifested and done. then, where's the fundamental essence of the meaning of "no killing"? where's the value of the word??? isn't it plain contradiction?
if one teach and preach about no killing then honour that and live up to one's words by showing example and not misguide all the beings who are already suffering enough! -
Yep. Don't xiao3 kan4 the power of religions to cause conflicts. Not only in personal relationships, but even at the national or international level. It has happened for millenias.Originally posted by surfbabe:This is the first time I have terminated a relationship because of religious differences. Consider this a lesson learnt. -
Yes, people fight over the name of religions are ignorant, sad to say.Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Yep. Don't xiao3 kan4 the power of religions to cause conflicts. Not only in personal relationships, but even at the national or international level. It has happened for millenias.
Karl Marx said, religion is like an opium.
People do not realise if fight over religions, then what is the point of having a religion in the first place. So its really ignorance and ill-will that cause people to fight one over another in the name of religion. -
Hi surfbabe.
u can try buddhistfellowship
http://www.buddhistfellowship.org/bf_new/pages/main/index.html
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Those who create the war are usually educated and power hungry. They deliberately brain-wash the guillable and illiterate poor, and convince them that the people from the other religion is the cause of their unhappiness and poor quality of life. *shake head*Originally posted by marcteng:Yes, people fight over the name of religions are ignorant, sad to say.
Karl Marx said, religion is like an opium.
People do not realise if fight over religions, then what is the point of having a religion in the first place. So its really ignorance and ill-will that cause people to fight one over another in the name of religion. -
Thanks neutral_onliner.Originally posted by neutral_onliner:Hi surfbabe.
u can try buddhistfellowship
http://www.buddhistfellowship.org/bf_new/pages/main/index.html