An "Attachment" Question
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The texts said that we can liberate ourselves from suffering by removing "attachment", which have been the cause of suffering. But does that means that should we forget all about our loves ones should they cease to exist? Does that mean we just forget all about them as if they had never existed in the first place?
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Nope.
Removing attachments is about "Letting Go" of the undesirables, not about forgetting our parents. Responsibilities and work still has to fulfill.
Gratitude towards Parents and Teachers is a fundamental requirement for good cultivation in Buddhism. - Kstigarbha Sutra.Originally posted by Texcoco II:The texts said that we can liberate ourselves from suffering by removing "attachment", which have been the cause of suffering. But does that means that should we forget all about our loves ones should they cease to exist? Does that mean we just forget all about them as if they had never existed in the first place? -
This is what I remembered roughly.. as my memories fade because the dharma talk happened many years back.Originally posted by Texcoco II:The texts said that we can liberate ourselves from suffering by removing "attachment", which have been the cause of suffering. But does that means that should we forget all about our loves ones should they cease to exist? Does that mean we just forget all about them as if they had never existed in the first place?
My Taiwanese dharma teacher said that his wife used to beg him not to leave him. First thing he asked her was... 'what do you like about me?' He said he is willing to give up any body parts to her if she really loves it. In the end, the wife said 'I want you entirely'. Then he said he will be glad to donate his entire body after he died
And his wife asked him 'if I leave you, how can you not be sad at all?' He said.. I will be sad... but only a little bit. Because his 'love' is expanded to include all sentient beings. 
Therefore we should love our family members, but not become attached. In fact we should expand our self centred emotional love to include all sentient beings. If you think practising Buddhism will lead you to have no more concerns/secluded from your family or loved ones, that is absolutely wrong. Actually, my local dharma teacher and my Taiwanese dharma teacher both still haven't 'left-home'. Except that now my Taiwanese teacher lives in his monastery in Taiwan. -
Love does not necessarily mean attachment nor being bounded. If you can understand what 'Great Love' means. LIBERATING Love is possible. As we all dissolve into oneness and all seperation and bondage disappears... in it there is unconditional love. No attachment is involved.
As for 'forgetting our loved ones when they cease to exist', its impossible to forget them unless we have amnesia. However there will not be afflictive thoughts arising out of attachment to them. You will not have sleepless nights thinking about him/her. -
Anyone listened or heard abt Hui Li Fa Shi from Taiwan b4?
He said abt attachment, when you see a beautiful person or thing, you admire that person or thing without greed, or possessiveness.
When you taste good food or drink, you appreciate it without being 2 greedy or glutony.
When you score 100 marks, you give yourself a pat without feeling arrogant or superior than others. -
that is the essence of suchness without differentiationOriginally posted by marcteng:Anyone listened or heard abt Hui Li Fa Shi from Taiwan b4?
He said abt attachment, when you see a beautiful person or thing, you admire that person or thing without greed, or possessiveness.
When you taste good food or drink, you appreciate it without being 2 greedy or glutony.
When you score 100 marks, you give yourself a pat without feeling arrogant or superior than others.
btw it is Hui Lu not Hui Li -
do you need to chop our fingers into equal length in order to be equal?Originally posted by Texcoco II:The texts said that we can liberate ourselves from suffering by removing "attachment", which have been the cause of suffering. But does that means that should we forget all about our loves ones should they cease to exist? Does that mean we just forget all about them as if they had never existed in the first place?
our fingers are already equal in their own purpose. thumb help index finger, index finger help thumb, middle finger, etcs. all helping each other to get that equality.
letting go is also the same. it's not letting go from the outside but from the inside. you can contemplate and see. for me, both got advantages and disadvantages. just like which is more peaceful? a person who stay in a resort or one who stay in the city? resort is more relaxing. city is more stressful. because resort let go of the pressure of working per se.
btw, in order for one to be ordain, one need to seek the approval of the family members (love ones etcs). there's the rule of Buddha.
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wat's an attachment?
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Originally posted by gamesharkuser:wat's an attachment?
Attachment or Craving is the deep-seated desire that all living beings have for the pleasures of the senses and for life itself. For instance, people always seek to enjoy good food, entertainment and pleasant company. Yet none of these can give them complete and lasting satisfaction. After the fine meal has been eaten, the beautiful music heard and the pleasant company shared, one is still not content. One would like to enjoy these pleasures again and again, and for as long as possible.
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/5215/cs.html
People who desire to own many things can never be fully satisfied too. Like children in a toy shop, they crave for all the attractive things they see around them. But like children too, they soon become dissatisfied with what they already have and desire for more. Sometimes, they can hardly eat or sleep until they get what they want. Yet when they succeeded in getting what they want, they may still find their happiness short-lived. Many will be too worried for the safety and condition of their new possessions to enjoy it. Then when the object they possess eventually breaks into pieces and has to be thrown away, they will suffer its loss even more.
When we have obtained something that we desire, we may want more and more of it and so greed arises. Because of desire and greed, people will lie, cheat and steal to get what they want. Uncontrolled desires can also lead to addiction, for example, smoking, drinking and overeating all lead to suffering and cause mental and physical harm.
If one is prevented by another person from getting what one desires, one may feel anger with that person. Desire when obstructed can lead to ill will and anger. This in turn can lead to harsh words, violent quarrels and even fights or killings. All this is suffering.
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how to get free away from attachment lol .
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Its " NA DE QI, FANG DE XIA"
How to let go?
Meditation
Chanting
Practise the way of the Buddha
Devote ur time in giving other blessings
Have an open heart -
It is really easy to let go.
By not being attached.
If you raise your hands, you will be able to let it back.
If you do not raise your hands, then you also won't need to let it back. This is called Non-arising and non-cessation.
If thoughts of attachment arises then simply be aware of the arising and ceasing of the thoughts - do not identify these thoughts as you or yours, do not get 'involved' with it, just note the arising and ceasing.
Then these thoughts are just like passing clouds in the vast clear sky....We need to understand that learning and practising Buddhism should be as simple as possible. Indeed, it is so simple that we may find it unbelievable. Yet, it is also so simple that we may not be able to do it. We learn Buddhism to overcome our disbelief and reinforce our faith so that we have the capability to put it into practice. Thus, the saying "Faith is the origin of all paths to enlightenment." Let me use a very simple method to illustrate.
When a thought originates in our mind, it is "birth" or "origination". When the thought fades away it no longer exists, therefore it is "dead" or it has "ceased." Every moment of the day, the mind is voice-cul3.jpg (11260 bytes)
perpetually engaged in a continuous process of "origination" and "cessation", or "birth" and "death" of thoughts. Unknowingly, one moment it arises, and the next it ceases. Now we need to know when these thoughts are arising and ceasing. "To know" here means "awareness". Let me use my hand to illustrate so that you may understand right away. I raise my hand now, and so my hand is "up". When I put my hand down then it is "down". Our mind constantly behaves in the same manner; one moment it gives birth to a thought ( hand is up), and the next moment the thought is dead, it passes away (hand is down). This continuous process of birth and death is called sentient beings. This process of birth and death brings forth boundless sufferings. Sentient being is boundless and therefore suffering is also boundless. When we learn and practise Buddhism it means we are striving to liberate the inner sentient being in us from these sufferings.
Now, I neither raise nor put my hand down. When the mind does not give birth, there is no death. This is no-birth and no-death, or non-origination and non-cessation. The Buddhas exist in this world for the sake of liberating sentient beings from this process of birth and death. In this way we all know that non-origination and non-cessation refers to our mind and hence maintaining the mind as such is the proper way to cultivate... -
Probably the most misunderstood term in Western Buddhist circles is that usually translated as 'attachment'. Too many have got it into their head that they shouldn't be attached to anything. Thus jokes abound such as the one on why the houses of Buddhists have dirt in the corners - because they don't allow even their vacuum cleaner any attachments. Some misguided pseudo-Buddhists criticise those living a moral life as being attached to their precepts and thus praise immoral action as a sign of deep wisdom. Bah! Others in traditional Buddhist circles create fear of deep meditation by incorrectly stating that you will only get attached to the Jhanas. It all goes too far. Perhaps the pinnacle of mischievous misinformation was said by Rajneesh who claimed "I am so detached, I am not even attached to detachment" and thus conveniently excused all his excesses.
The Pali work in question is UPADANA, literally meaning 'a taking up'. It is commonly used indicating a 'fuel', which sustains a process, such as the oil in a lamp being the fuel/upadana for the flame. It is related to craving (TANHA). For example, craving is reaching out for the delicious cup of coffee, Upadana is picking it up. Even though you think that you can easily put the cup of coffee down again, though your hand is not superglued to the cup, it is still Upadana. You have picked it up. You have grasped.
Fortunately not all Upadana is un-Buddhist. The Lord Buddha only specified four groups of Upadana: 'taking up' the five senses, 'taking up' wrong views, 'taking up' the idea that liberation may be attained simply through rites and initiations, and 'taking up' the view of a self. There are many other things that one may 'take up' or grasp, but the point is that only these four groups lead to rebirth, only these four are fuel for future existence and further suffering, only these four are to be avoided.
Thus taking up the practice of compassion, taking up the practice of the Five Precepts or the greater precepts of a monk or nun, and taking up the practice of meditation - these are not un-Buddhist and it is mischievous to discourage them by calling them 'attachments'. Keeping the Five Precepts is, in fact, a letting go of coarse desires like lust, greed and violence. Practising compassion is a letting go of self-centredness and practising meditation is letting go of past, future, thinking and much else. The achievement of Jhana is no more than the letting go of the world of the five senses to gain access to the mind. Nibbana is the letting go once and for all of greed, hatred and delusion, the seeds of rebirth. Parinibbana is the final letting go of body and mind (the Five Khandhas). It is wrong to suggest that any of these stages of letting go are the same as attachment.
The path is like a ladder. One grasps the rung above and lets go of the rung below to pull oneself up. Soon, the rung just grasped is the rung one is now standing on. Now is the time to let go of that rung as one grasps an even higher rung to raise oneself further. If one never grasped anything, one would remain spiritually stupid.
To those without wisdom, letting go may often appear as attachment. For example a bird on the branch of a tree at night appears to be attaching firmly to the branch, but it has actually let go and is fully asleep. When a bird lets go and the muscles around its claws begin to relax they close on the branch. The more it relaxes, the more the claws tighten. That's why you never see a bird fall off a perch even when they are asleep. It may look like attachment but, in fact, it is letting go. Letting go often leads to stillness, not moving from where you are, which is why it is sometimes mistaken as attachment.
So don't be put off by well-meaning but misinformed L-plate Buddhists who have completely misunderstood Upadana and attachment. Attach without fear to your precepts, your meditation object and to the path for it will lead to Nibbana. And don't forget to purchase the attachments for your vacuum cleaner too!
Ajahn Brahmavamso
BSWA Newsletter, December 1999 -
"Attachment is a ball and chain, which you tie around your own legs. No one else ties it around you. You've got the key to free yourselves, but you don't use it."
"These are indications of what enlightenment means. It means seeing that many of our attachments are based on sheer stupidity. We just don't need this. As we develop this meditation deeper, we let go more and more. The more we let go the more happiness and peace it gives us. This is why the Buddha called this whole path of Buddhism a gradual training. It's the path that leads one on, one step at a time, and at every step you get a prize. That's why it's a very delightful path and the prizes get more delightful and more valuable the further you go. But even on the first step you get a prize."
"Why in such a famous university, where people are so intelligent, are they not happy? What's the point of being clever if it doesn't give you happiness? I mean real happiness, real contentment, and real peace."
-Ajahn Brahmavamso
next time..... just let go! (i tell this to myself also, a step at a time for me.... ...)