dating
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There's this thing which is worth thinking.
As the title implies, dating usually involves some mind games, at least in the initial stage, to get the one u really love. Sometimes you do get, sometimes you don't.
My question is this--since dating can sometimes be viewed at using mind games tactics, strategies and even manipulation(if you call it) to gain your partner, what is the Buddhist's philosophy take on this? Will there be bad karma if you use tactics to gain your partner's love? -
Bcos I am not very experienced in this, I dont know what tactics you talking about
Whatever it is, as long as its not immoral, shouldnt be a problem isnt it. -
I dunno what exactly you mean by immoral, but some feel that a series of techniques used to win a person's heart can be considered manipulative or even unethical.Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Bcos I am not very experienced in this, I dont know what tactics you talking about
Whatever it is, as long as its not immoral, shouldnt be a problem isnt it.
Since it can be viewed as manipulative in this area, bad karma ? -
You mean being nice to her, bringing her out, buying things for her, is bad karma?Originally posted by RHluvW:I dunno what exactly you mean by immoral, but some feel that a series of techniques used to win a person's heart can be considered manipulative or even unethical.
Since it can be viewed as manipulative in this area, bad karma ?
Why dont you give me examples of what you mean by manipulative -
well, believe in kamma.
you have to ask yourself whats your intention is for a start.
good begets good, evil begets evil. -
some examples: hmm...buying things for her can be manipulative. You are telling her you want to buy her affection. Playing some mind games with her so she likes you more can also be manipulative.Originally posted by An Eternal Now:You mean being nice to her, bringing her out, buying things for her, is bad karma?
Why dont you give me examples of what you mean by manipulative
What's your opinion? -
Of course the intention is to win the person's affection. Evil or good is really subjective. It's how the means(or tactics) used that are viewed. My concern is whether there will be bad karma if mind games are being played.Originally posted by marcteng:well, believe in kamma.
you have to ask yourself whats your intention is for a start.
good begets good, evil begets evil.
Personally, I believe there's a limit on how you can use in courtship. If a person dislikes you, it's time to stop making any moves to prevent any form of agony from both sides. -
well, neutral kamma then, ie no good nor bad kamma.Originally posted by RHluvW:Of course the intention is to win the person's affection. Evil or not is really subjective. It's the means(or tactics) used.
just like sitting on a chair, or watching tv or reading a book, no good nor bad deeds will arise as a result of that action.
but if the guy lies about his age to the ger, then bad kamma is committed.
or if the guy lies about this wealth and properties too. -
Naturally, it will be the case of bad karma if the guy really lies about his personal stuff. Or maybe intentionally omit some truths about his personal life to gain affection.Originally posted by marcteng:but if the guy lies about his age to the ger, then bad kamma is committed.
or if the guy lies about this wealth and properties too. -
RHluvW....
Its fun to date any gers out....just simply be yourself and enjoy the moments and company of your loved ones will do....need not play any mind games or tactics to impress the ger. the more u play or act, the more the ger feel you are fake and awful.
bad karma or not...have to see your motivation oredi. If u wanna play or fool around with her....then u bear the consequences lo... -
no wonder women labeled men as bastards and men called women as sluts.Originally posted by rahula25:RHluvW....
Its fun to date any gers out....just simply be yourself and enjoy the moments and company of your loved ones will do....need not play any mind games or tactics to impress the ger. the more u play or act, the more the ger feel you are fake and awful.
bad karma or not...have to see your motivation oredi. If u wanna play or fool around with her....then u bear the consequences lo...
yes, intention is the root key here. i think sincerity, care and love for the other party are keys to a successful courtship. -
Hi...Originally posted by rahula25:RHluvW....
Its fun to date any gers out....just simply be yourself and enjoy the moments and company of your loved ones will do....need not play any mind games or tactics to impress the ger. the more u play or act, the more the ger feel you are fake and awful.
bad karma or not...have to see your motivation oredi. If u wanna play or fool around with her....then u bear the consequences lo...
Yes being yourself is one thing. In the game of love, it's much more complex than that. Even if you do not want to play mind games, the moment you want to date her, the game has begun. Gals sometimes give mixed signals which is hard to understand and this can be linked to some mind games on their part.
Yes the ideal motivation is to win her affection and of course she must also demonstrate mutual interest in you initially, without having any evil intentions. -
You forgot one more thing: do not expect anything in return from them.Originally posted by marcteng:no wonder women labeled men as bastards and men called women as sluts.
yes, intention is the root key here. i think sincerity, care and love for the other party are keys to a successful courtship. -
Dating a ger is to relax and have lots of fun. And no tension and burden involves. If you feel she is playing mind game with you...then u cannot enjoy her company.
Gers are sensitive and insecure beings. Perhaps they wanna "test water" from you seeing whether you are suitable for her or not..
Well...she can observed you..U also can do the same. The key point is dating any gers shouldn't be too "chee hong". If the ger detect your chee hong attitude...she will be more defensive or may ran away. Unless this ger also wanna flirt with you lah...then nothing to say lor.
BGR is give and take lah....even u like the ger...the ger might not like u. She might treat you as a normal friend afterall. Women's mind is hard to guess. Dun add on pain onto yourself. So need not take it too hard. If she have feelings for u..you naturally will know.
Yes...absolutely agree with you ! Conclusion is Dun ever expect too much from her if just merely dating. keke...
Anyway, I am a married man now. So these are my tips to u guys here. haha.