How to alleviate personal suffering?
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Hello, can you all share how to alleviate a person's suffering? If someone is suffering greatly bcos of certain bad things that happened & there is no way of rectifying it, what can he do to help or change the situation to lessen the suffering?
Also how to alleviate severe depression & psychosis? Thanks. -
There are 4 steps for handling a problem:Originally posted by ICanOnlyHope:Hello, can you all share how to alleviate a person's suffering? If someone is suffering greatly bcos of certain bad things that happened & there is no way of rectifying it, what can he do to help or change the situation to lessen the suffering?
Also how to alleviate severe depression & psychosis? Thanks.
1) Face it
2) Accept it
3) Deal with it
4) Let it go and not dwell with it (if above 3 doesn't work)
A problem is there for a purpose.
As for severe depression & psychosis, my suggestion is as follow :
1) to seek help from professionals because it'll be dangerous to DIY a depression problem.
2) Always find an channel to ventilate, like friends, family members (though most of us will take this as a last issues).
3) Read on motivational books or watch motivational movies.
4) Attend the talk by Ajahn Brahm on 30 and 31 May at Phor Kark See Monastary.
Hope it helps!
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well you could not visit the site to recall the pain memories........and it is essentailly avoiding......Originally posted by ICanOnlyHope:Hello, can you all share how to alleviate a person's suffering? If someone is suffering greatly bcos of certain bad things that happened & there is no way of rectifying it, what can he do to help or change the situation to lessen the suffering?
Also how to alleviate severe depression & psychosis? Thanks.
.......maybe you might want to inflict the pain on someonelse to lessen the pain.......see how other people react to the pain stimulus lor.......... -
u can look for Buddha's explaination of the 4 noble truth.
first is there's effect of suffering; second is cause of suffering, then there's real happiness and the cause/path toward real happiness.
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Who is Ajahn Brahm? What is he/she talking abt?Originally posted by coolbluewater:There are 4 steps for handling a problem:
1) Face it
2) Accept it
3) Deal with it
4) Let it go and not dwell with it (if above 3 doesn't work)
A problem is there for a purpose.
As for severe depression & psychosis, my suggestion is as follow :
1) to seek help from professionals because it'll be dangerous to DIY a depression problem.
2) Always find an channel to ventilate, like friends, family members (though most of us will take this as a last issues).
3) Read on motivational books or watch motivational movies.
4) Attend the talk by Ajahn Brahm on 30 and 31 May at Phor Kark See Monastary.
Hope it helps! -
Pls read Ajahn Brahm Public Talks !- May 06Originally posted by ICanOnlyHope:Who is Ajahn Brahm? What is he/she talking abt?
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=191830
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People suffer because they imagine the worse. (What Buddhism calls, its only in your Mind and not in the physical reality.) People suffer because they cannot let it go. (What Buddhism calls, attachments.)Originally posted by ICanOnlyHope:Hello, can you all share how to alleviate a person's suffering? If someone is suffering greatly bcos of certain bad things that happened & there is no way of rectifying it, what can he do to help or change the situation to lessen the suffering?
Also how to alleviate severe depression & psychosis? Thanks.
So we can help you alleviste your suffering right here but it will take a while....
What is it that you imagine, the worse that can happen in your situation? -
when it has gone to the stage of severe depression and especially psychosis.
i suggest you seek professional help.
espeically psychosis.
it can be hella dangerous. -
Buddhism will definitely help if you apply the principles in your life. Therefore you should study more about Buddhism and practise it. You can seek (dharma) advise from a Buddhist teacher. You should also try practising Meditation - if you cannot practise meditation or focus your mind, you should try chanting (i.e Namo Di Zhang Wang Pu Sa... Namo Di Zhang Wang Pu Sa..) which is also a form of meditation that is easier.
You should also read some inspiring and transformative books like The Power of Now (the author used to undergo suicidal depression and anxiety). There are also many other good books on advises to deal with depression, anxiety, hard and difficult times - like those from Pema Chodron. There are many other books I'm sure, but I did not read many books. -
People who have reached that staged could not be able to come to sgforums and talk to you can they?Originally posted by udontknowme:when it has gone to the stage of severe depression and especially psychosis.
i suggest you seek professional help.
espeically psychosis.
it can be hella dangerous. -
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
[b]The Power of Now; Eckhart Tolle, Excerpt:
All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry - all forms of fear - are caused by to much future, not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, not enough presence.
Most people find it difficulty to believe that a state of consciousness totally free of all negativity is possible. And yet this is the liberated state to which all spiritual teachings point. It is the promise of salvation, not in an illusory future by right here and now.
You may find it hard to recognise that time is the cause of your suffering or your problems. You believe that they are caused by specific situations in your life, and seen from a conventional viewpoint, this is true. But until you have dealt with the basic problem-making dysfunction of the mind - its attachment to past and future and denial of the Now - problems are actually interchangeable. If all your problems or perceived causes of suffering or unhappiness were miraculously removed for your today, but you had not become more present, more conscious, you would soon find yourself with a similar set of problems or causes of suffering, like a shadow that follows you wherever you go. Ultimately, there is only one problem: the time-bound mind itself.
I cannot believe that I could ever reach a point where I am complete free of my problems.
You are right. You can never reach that point because you are at that point now.
There is no salvation in time. You cannot be free in the future. Presence is the key to freedom, so you can only be free now.
Finding The Life Underneath Your Life Situation
I don't see how I can be free now. As it happens, I am extremely unhappy with my life at the moment. This is a fact, and I would be deluding myself if I tried to convince myself that all is well when it definitely isn't. To me the present moment is very unhappy; it is not liberating at all. What keeps me going is the hope or possibility of some improvement in the future.
You think that your attention is in the present moment when it's actually taken up completely by time. You cannot be both unhappy and fully present in the Now.
What you refer to as your "life" should be more accurately be called your "life situation." It is psychological time: past and future. Certain things in the past didn't go the way you wanted them to go. You are still resisting what happened in the past, and now you are resisting the is. Hope is what keeps you going, but hope keeps you focused on the future, and this continued focus perpetuates your denial of the Now and therefore your unhappiness.
It is true that my present life situation is the result of things that happened in the past, but it is still my present situation, and being stuck in it is what makes me unhappy.
Forget about your life situation for a while and pay attention to your life
What is the difference?
Your life situation exists in time.
Your life is now.
Your life situation is mind-stuff.
Your life is real.
Find the "narrow gate that leads to life." It is called the Now. Narrow your life down to this moment. Your life situation may be full of problems - most life situations are - but find out if you have any problem at this moment. Not tomorrow or in ten minutes, but now. Do you have a problem now?
When you are full of problems, there is no room for anything new to enter, no room for a solution. So whenever you can, make some room, create some space, so that you find the life underneath your life situation.
Use your senses fully. Be where you are. Look around. Just look, don't interpret. See the lights, shapes, colours, textures. Be aware of the silent presence of each thing. Be aware of the space that allows everything to be. Listen to the sounds; don't judge them. Listen to the silence underneath the sounds. Touch something - anything - and feel and acknowledge its Being. Observe the rhythm of your breathing; feel the air flowing in and out, feel the life energy inside your body. Allow everything to be, within and without. Allow the "isness" of all things. Move deeply into the Now.
You are leaving behind the deadening world of mental abstraction of time. You are getting out of the insane mind that is draining you of life energy, just as it is slowly poisoning and destroying the Earth. You are awakening out of the dream of time into the Present.
[Pause and meditate]
[/b] -
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
[b]All Problems Are Illusions Of The Mind
It feels as if a heavy burden has been lifted. A sense of lightness. I feel clear... but my problems are still there waiting for me, aren't they? They haven't been solved. Am I not just temporarily evading them?
If you found yourself in paradise, it wouldn't be long before your mind would say "yes, but...."
Ultimately, this is not about solving your problems. It's about realizing that there are no problems. Only situations - to be dealt with now, or to be left alone and accepted as part of the "isness" of the present moment until they change or can be dealt with. Problems are mind-made and need time to survive. They cannot survive in the actuality of the Now.
Focus your attention on the Now and tell me what problem you have at this moment.
[Pause and meditate]
I am not getting any answer because it is impossible to have a problem when your attention is fully in the Now. A situation that needs to be either dealt with or accepted - yes. Why make it into a problem? Why make anything into a problem? Isn't lifechallenging enough as it is? What do you need problems for? The mind unconsciously loves problems because they give you an identity of sorts. This is normal, and it is insane. "Problem" means that you are dwelling on a situation mentally without there being a true intention or possibility of taking action now and that you are unconsciously making it part of your sense of self. You become so overwhelmed by your life situation that you lose your sense of life, of Being. Or you are carrying in your mind the insane burden of a hundred things that you will or may have to do in the future instead of focusing your attention on the one thing that you can do now.
When you create a problem, you create pain. All it takes is a simple choice, a simple decision: no matter what happens, I will create no more pain for myself. I will create no more problems. Although it is a simple choice, it is also very radical. You won' t make that choice unless you are truly fed up with suffering, unless you have truly had enough. And you won't be able to go through with it unless you access the power of the Now. If you create no more pain for yourself, then you create no more pain for others. You also no longer contaminate the beautiful Earth, your inner space, and the collective human psyche with the negativity of problem-making.
[Pause and meditate]
If you have ever been in a life-or-death emergency situation, you will know that it wasn't a problem. The mind didn't have time to fool around and make it into a problem. In a true emergency, the mind stops; you become totally present in the Now, and something infinitely more powerful takes over. This is why there are many reports of ordinary people suddenly becoming capable of incredibly courageous deeds. In any emergency, either you survive or you don't. Either way, it is not a problem.
Some people get angry when they hear me say that problems are illusions. I am threatening to take away their sense of who they are. They have invested much time in a false sense of self. For many years, they have unconsciously defined their whole identity in terms of' their problems or their suffering. Who would they be without it?
A great deal of what people say, think, or do is actually motivated by fear, which of course is always linked with having your focus on the future and being out of touch with the Now. As there are no problems in the Now, there is no fear either.
Should a situation arise that you need to deal with now, your action will be clear and incisive if it arises out of present-moment awareness. It is also more likely to be effective. It will not be a reaction coming from the past conditioning of your mind but an intuitive response to the situation. In other instances, when the time-bound mind would have reacted, you will find it more effective to do nothing - just stay centered in the Now.
A Quantum Leap In The Evolution Of Consciousness
I have had glimpses of this state of freedom from mind and time that you describe, but past and future are so overwhelmingly strong that I cannot keep them out for long.
The time-bound mode of consciousness is deeply embedded in the human psyche. But what we are doing here is part of a profound transformation that is taking place in the collective consciousness of the planet and beyond: the awakening of consciousness from the dream of matter, form, and separation. The ending of time. We are breaking mind patterns that have dominated human life for eons. Mind pat-terns that have created unimaginable suffering on a vast scale. I am not using the word evil. It is more helpful to call it unconsciousness or insanity.
This breaking-up of the old mode of consciousness or rather unconsciousness: is it something we have to do or will it happen anyway? I mean, is this change inevitable?
That's a question of perspective. The doing and the happening is in fact a single process; because you are one with the totality of consciousness, you cannot separate the two. But there is no absolute guarantee that humans will make it. The process isn't inevitable or automatic. Your cooperation is an essential part of it. However you look at it, it is a quantum leap in the evolution of consciousness, as well as our only chance of survival as a race.[/b] -
Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
[b]The Joy Of Being
To alert you that you have allowed yourself to be taken over by psychological time, you can use a simple criterion. Ask yourself: Is there joy, ease, and lightness in what I am doing? If there isn't, then time is covering up the present moment, and life is perceived as a burden or a struggle.
If there is no joy, ease, or lightness in what you are doing, it does not necessarily mean that you need to change what you are doing. It may be sufficient to change the how. "How" is always more important than "what." See if you can give much more attention to the doing than to the result that you want to achieve through it. Give your fullest attention to whatever the moment presents. This implies that you also completely accept what is, because you cannot give your full attention to something and at the same time resist it.
As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out of present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action.
[Pause and meditate]
So do not be concerned with the fruit of your action - just give attention to the action itself. The fruit will come of its own accord. This is a powerful spiritual practice. In the Bhagavad Gita, one of the oldest and most beautiful spiritual teachings in existence, non-attachment to the fruit of your action is called Karma Yoga. It is described as the path of "consecrated action."
When the compulsive striving away from the Now ceases, the joy of Being flows into everything you do. The moment your attention turns to the Now, you feel a presence, a stillness, a peace. You no longer depend on the future for fulfillment and satisfaction - you don't look to it for salvation. Therefore, you are not attached to the results. Neither failure nor success has the power to change your inner state of Being. You have found the life underneath your life situation.
In the absence of psychological time, your sense of self is derived from Being, not from your personal past. Therefore, the psychological need to become anything other than who you are already is no longer there. In the world, on the level of your life situation, you may indeed become wealthy, knowledgeable, successful, free of this or that, but in the deeper dimension of Being you are complete and whole now.
In that state of wholeness, would we still be able or willing to pursue external goals?
Of course, but you will not have illusory expectations that anything or anybody in the future will save you or make you happy. As far as your life situation is concerned, there may be things to be attained or acquired. That's the world of form, of gain and loss. Yet on a deeper level you are already complete, and when you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do. Being free of psychological time, you no longer pursue your goals with grim determination, driven by fear, anger, discontent, or the need to become someone. Nor will you remain inactive through fear of failure, which to the egois loss of self. When your deeper sense of self is derived from Being, when you are free of "becoming" as a psychological need, neither your happiness nor your sense of self depends on the outcome, and so there is freedom from fear. You don't seek permanency where it cannot be found: in the world of form, of gain and loss, birth and death. You don't demand that situations, conditions, places, or people should make you happy, and then suffer when they don't live up to your expectations.
Everything is honored, but nothing matters. Forms are born and die, yet you are aware of the eternal underneath the forms. You know that "nothing real can be threatened."
When this is your state of Being, how can you not succeed? You have succeeded already.[/b] -
There are many ways of learning and some peope cannot learn by simple reading, no matter how good the material is.
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yes they can.Originally posted by casino_king:People who have reached that staged could not be able to come to sgforums and talk to you can they?
trust me, they can.
i know people who are severely depressed for years and can still blog and go on forums. there are people who still blog till the day they commit suicide or are admitted to hospital.
please do not make assumptions when you do not know. thank you
why should they not be able to?? -
all these r veri 'buddhism'Originally posted by An Eternal Now:
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While that is true. I would suggest that they get worse and worse to the point that they commit suicide. That is to say while they are blogging and having discussions in forums, the have not reached the critical stage. Once they reach the critical stage , they can't be blogging or coming to the forums can they?Originally posted by udontknowme:yes they can.
trust me, they can.
i know people who are severely depressed for years and can still blog and go on forums. there are people who still blog till the day they commit suicide or are admitted to hospital.
please do not make assumptions when you do not know. thank you
why should they not be able to?? -
hmm...i guess you dont know anyone who has done so then...Originally posted by casino_king:While that is true. I would suggest that they get worse and worse to the point that they commit suicide. That is to say while they are blogging and having discussions in forums, the have not reached the critical stage. Once they reach the critical stage , they can't be blogging or coming to the forums can they?
cos i do.
i know at least 4 people who have blogged till the day they killed themselves or admitted to hospitals for suicide attempts and what not.
i have read several suicide letters on people blogs/myspace.
i know this girl. 18 this year. second year university student. skipped a year of high school. on a scholarship now. diagnosed with several types of mental disorders and phobias for several years. dealing with all this shit on her own due to several reasons. attempted suicide many times.
yet she still blogs. almost everyday...only time she doesnt blog is when she is in the hospital because she isnt allowed to. but she writes in her diary there.
she has reached the critical stage. anyone who knows her is aware of the fact that she may die any day. and when you read her blog, you WILL be surprised by how clear her thoughts are. perfect flawless english too...
the minds of those suffering from mental illnesses are very much different from the sane poeple's...sometimes the things they can do are really amazing.
look at sylvia plath, anne sexton, john nash.
the first two were great poets who committed suicide.
john nash...had schizophrenia from his teenage years. hospitalized several times, went through hell with ECT. yet, he got a nobel prize. -
OK I admit that they can still come here to sgforums.Originally posted by udontknowme:hmm...i guess you dont know anyone who has done so then...
cos i do.
i know at least 4 people who have blogged till the day they killed themselves or admitted to hospitals for suicide attempts and what not.
i have read several suicide letters on people blogs/myspace.
i know this girl. 18 this year. second year university student. skipped a year of high school. on a scholarship now. diagnosed with several types of mental disorders and phobias for several years. dealing with all this shit on her own due to several reasons. attempted suicide many times.
yet she still blogs. almost everyday...only time she doesnt blog is when she is in the hospital because she isnt allowed to. but she writes in her diary there.
she has reached the critical stage. anyone who knows her is aware of the fact that she may die any day. and when you read her blog, you WILL be surprised by how clear her thoughts are. perfect flawless english too...
the minds of those suffering from mental illnesses are very much different from the sane poeple's...sometimes the things they can do are really amazing.
look at sylvia plath, anne sexton, john nash.
the first two were great poets who committed suicide.
john nash...had schizophrenia from his teenage years. hospitalized several times, went through hell with ECT. yet, he got a nobel prize.
What I meant was that, for all intents and practical purposes, there is nothing we can do except to help them by answering their questions right? We cannot say to everybody with problems, ok maybe you are a psycho please don't come here and ask us. -
in fact, i think it would be good if people who are down or whatnot go to proper forums to share how they feel.Originally posted by casino_king:OK I admit that they can still come here to sgforums.
What I meant was that, for all intents and practical purposes, there is nothing we can do except to help them by answering their questions right? We cannot say to everybody with problems, ok maybe you are a psycho please don't come here and ask us.
it might help...
a close friend of mine didnt commit suicide becuase of a particular forum...
err...not sgf. -
I agree that forums are good. It is like SOS anonymous but better than SOS because SOS, you talk to only one person.Originally posted by udontknowme:in fact, i think it would be good if people who are down or whatnot go to proper forums to share how they feel.
it might help...
a close friend of mine didnt commit suicide becuase of a particular forum...
err...not sgf. -
excellent. we have reached an agreementOriginally posted by casino_king:I agree that forums are good. It is like SOS anonymous but better than SOS because SOS, you talk to only one person.
and besides, on certain forums, you tend to hear from several people who are going through similar stuff too... -
by reading Eckhart Tolle's books.Originally posted by ICanOnlyHope:Hello, can you all share how to alleviate a person's suffering? If someone is suffering greatly bcos of certain bad things that happened & there is no way of rectifying it, what can he do to help or change the situation to lessen the suffering?
Also how to alleviate severe depression & psychosis? Thanks. -
Originally posted by udontknowme:excellent. we have reached an agreement
and besides, on certain forums, you tend to hear from several people who are going through similar stuff too... -
This is so well expressed but just to be picky, how do the doctrine of anatta and emptiness apply in this context ?Originally posted by An Eternal Now:Use your senses fully. Be where you are. Look around. Just look, don't interpret. See the lights, shapes, colours, textures. Be aware of the silent presence of each thing. Be aware of the space that allows everything to be. Listen to the sounds; don't judge them. Listen to the silence underneath the sounds. Touch something - anything - and feel and acknowledge its Being. Observe the rhythm of your breathing; feel the air flowing in and out, feel the life energy inside your body.
Allow everything to be, within and without. Allow the "isness" of all things. Move deeply into the Now.