The Buddhist in the board roomBy CHRIS ERIKSON, NYPost, February 12, 2007New York, USA -- I’M talking to executive uber-coach Marshall Goldsmith, and money is on my mind, for several reasons. First, as we chat over late-morning coffee, I’m well aware that most of the people Goldman sits down with in the course of a workday can buy and sell me several thousand times before breakfast. Called “a rock star” by Forbes, and the country's premiere executive coach by Fast Company, he typically ministers to those at the highest reaches of the corporate ladder.

HELPING HAND: Top CEO coach Marshall Goldsmith helps improve workplace dynamics - and gets the Gordon Gekkos of the world to lighten up a bit.
Second, as you might imagine, Goldsmith, 57, commands a hefty fee for his efforts - some $250,000 per client. (Though he only collects it if itÂ’s agreed heÂ’s produced meaningful results. Generally, he collects it.)
But mostly, IÂ’m thinking about money because my debt to this corporate guru is growing by the minute.
See, to operate according to Goldsmithian principles is to follow a number of simple rules. Things like: Be a good listener. Don’t make excuses. Don’t pass judgments or make destructive comments. Say “Thank you” and “I’m sorry,” and learn to ask for forgiveness.
What’s getting me into trouble at the moment is one of Goldsmith’s favorites: Don’t start a sentence with “But,” “No” or “However.” He likes this one so much he charges his clients $20 every time they do it, a practice that over the years has raised $300,000 for charity.
These “negative qualifi ers . . . secretly say to everyone, ‘I’m right. You’re wrong,’ ” he writes in his new book, “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful.”
As we speak, my habit of starting sentences with “But” is racking up a hypothetical debt so fast I might as well sign my paycheck over to him right now. He silently clocks it every time I do it, and occasionally interjects a tally. As in, "That's $160."
But if you'd assume that by now I feel like taking the aforementioned coffee and dumping it in Goldsmith's lap, you'd be wrong. A longtime Buddhist who has an easy laugh and favors khakis and moccasins, Goldsmith has an important gift for a man in his line of work: a jovial, almost goofy bonhomie that makes him impossible not to warm to even as he's gently busting your chops.
As a coach, Goldsmith doesn't sharpen clients' negotiating skills, or delve into their psyches. He just helps them get along better with the people they work with - to be seen as less judgmental, or more receptive to others' ideas, or just plain more civil and pleasant to be around.
Turns out, the coach to the industry stars just wants us all to get along.
Of course "civil" and "pleasant to be around" aren't always prized attributes in Fortune 500 boardrooms, and Goldsmith has a reputation for cracking some hard cases. One of his favorites started out with a percentile rating of 0.1 for personability, meaning that out of 1,000 people at his company, he ranked dead last. (He turned himself around, and after a year hit the 57th percentile.)
Goldsmith's method for helping such people is deceptively simple. "Simple, but not easy," he likes to say. First, he solicits "360-degree feedback" from colleagues, bosses and underlings to identify what they perceive as the client's negative traits. (Sometimes family members are consulted as well.) He presents the client with the results, and zeros in on the behaviors that are holding him or her back.
Then he trains the client to cease those behaviors and replace them with more benevolent ones - like, say, thanking an underling who presents an idea and promising to think about it, instead of shredding it on the spot.
More often than not, what holds people back, he writes, "are simple behavioral tics - bad habits that we repeat dozens of times a day in the workplace - which can be cured by (a) pointing them out, (b) showing the havoc they cause among the people surrounding us, and (c) demonstrating that with a slight behavioral tweak we can achieve a much more appealing affect."
In the book, he highlights 20 of the most annoying workplace habits; among them "clinging to the past," "playing favorites," "withholding information" and "failing to express gratitude." Such habits are "transactional flaws performed by one person against another ... that make your workplace substantially more noxious than it needs to be."
With his book riding high on the business best-seller lists, we sat down with Goldsmith to find out how the methods he uses on the country's top tycoons can help make your work life easier and your workplace happier.
Part of your job is to walk into the offices of very successful people and confront them with the divide between how they think people perceive them and the way they're actually perceived. What's the typical reaction to that?
Well, when we hear what we don't want to hear, our first reaction is, "They're confused. They don't understand, the problem isn't me, it's them." It's hard to realize that sometimes other people can see things in us that we can't see in ourselves.
Which traits tend to be the least recognized?
One I talk about, that's somewhat counter-intuitive, is the idea of winning too much. Because we're so geared to winning. And especially the people I work with. These are winners. The derby of life, they won. What's hard for them is to not always win everything.
Here's an example I give: Say you go out to dinner with your wife or significant other, and you want to go to X and she wants to go to Y, and you get into an argument. Then you go to her choice, and the food tastes like crap and the service is awful - what do you do? Do you critique the food, or do you shut up? We should shut up, but what do most people do? They critique the food and try to be right.
Isn't the need to win part of what got these people where they are?
Parts of it are, and parts of it are not. That's the classic problem: "I behave this way, I am successful, therefore I am successful because I behave this way." Wrong. That's the success delusion. They're where they are because they do many things right, and in spite of screwing things up. And what I try to do is help people sort out "because of" and "in spite of."
How much can you separate these things? Take "goal obsession," which you say underlies many of the negative behaviors in your book. That's something a lot of successful people share. At what point does it become a problem?
When the goal becomes more important than the mission. And that happens. People get so wrapped up in achieving a goal that they forget the mission.
I worked with a guy on Wall Street who was working 80 hours a week, and I asked him, why are you working 80 hours? He said, "Because I need money." I said, why do you need money? He says, "I've been married three times, and I need to pay alimony." Well, why have you been married three times? "My wife didn't understand how hard I had to work."
See what I mean? It's crazy. And stuff like that happens all the time. We're so wrapped up in winning and proving how smart we are that we forget that this battle is not worth winning.
If someone has a lot of natural aggression and drive, and that makes them good at what they do -
Let's stop there. Parts of that are probably making them good. Parts of that are probably not making them good. And by the way, I'm not saying you shouldn't try to win. Win big things, don't win trivial things.