How to Dissolve Heart knots?
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Hi im sharing... my karmic relationships with my mother...
I hold no malicious though for my mother. Yet sometime when we communicate, there is always some problem. She will starts to accuse me of something ( without facts backing up just assumptions -_- ) then i will get annoyed and my volume of my voice increases. As habits formed in a long time period, i will get angry easily whenever she does it.
I am aware of this arising anger and the ceasing after.
How do i break this karmic reactive tendency habits?
I don't want to create any more bad karma for her and me. -
She will accuse u of wat for example?Originally posted by Isis:Hi im sharing... my karmic relationships with my mother...
I hold no malicious though for my mother. Yet sometime when we communicate, there is always some problem. She will starts to accuse me of something ( without facts backing up just assumptions -_- ) then i will get annoyed and my volume of my voice increases. As habits formed in a long time period, i will get angry easily whenever she does it.
I am aware of this arising anger and the ceasing after.
How do i break this karmic reactive tendency habits?
I don't want to create any more bad karma for her and me.
how old r u? -
I understand what you are going ,it does happen to me and my father,Originally posted by Isis:Hi im sharing... my karmic relationships with my mother...
I hold no malicious though for my mother. Yet sometime when we communicate, there is always some problem. She will starts to accuse me of something ( without facts backing up just assumptions -_- ) then i will get annoyed and my volume of my voice increases. As habits formed in a long time period, i will get angry easily whenever she does it.
I am aware of this arising anger and the ceasing after.
How do i break this karmic reactive tendency habits?
I don't want to create any more bad karma for her and me.
just try not to yell at her , either you ignore or speak in a nicer tone
the only way is to pray to your main Buddhas(like Medicine Buddha,Guanyin)
and seek to transform her anger into loving kindness
"it is with afflictions that we came to saha world "
someday things will change .
HH Dalai Lama was a perfect example of transforming anger for the People's Liberation Army to loving kindness .
I recommend you a audo tape series by thich nhat hanh
will info u the title later (now at office)
with sincerity,
bohiruci -
I used to hold grudges towards her but that there was when something happens and things have get better... i am still trying to work out the karmic relationships with her.Originally posted by bohiruci:I understand what you are going ,it does happen to me and my father,
just try not to yell at her , either you ignore or speak in a nicer tone
the only way is to pray to your main Buddhas(like Medicine Buddha,Guanyin)
and seek to transform her anger into loving kindness
"it is with afflictions that we came to saha world "
someday things will change .
HH Dalai Lama was a perfect example of transforming anger for the People's Liberation Army to loving kindness .
I recommend you a audo tape series by thich nhat hanh
will info u the title later (now at office)
with sincerity,
bohiruci
im worrying for her. My mother has a problem is that she assumes easily, not just to me...and she used to think she is so right... is just that i feel she is too attached towards herself.... i worry for her too...
mm ok, pls send the info to me.. Thank!
yes yes perhaps i need to be more mindful when i talk to her... i need some help in there... too -
assuming that i did there becos of there, when it isn't so.. didnt communicate first...Originally posted by laoda99:She will accuse u of wat for example?
how old r u?
20+ -
Maybe I could share abit of my experience.
Me too, have the same problem with my mom, but I'm luckier as I knew the root of the problem right from the beginning. Because of my involvement in the various buddhist volunteering projects, she would say that I have joined a cult, say I spent too much time on these events which she considered as totally useless (almost 5 days out of the 7 days were spent on these projects).
There were times where I rebutted her, but didn't ended up in huge quarrel, but wasn't pleasant ending.
Things changed, when I decided to scale back my involvement and do more self-readings at home. This also means that I have more time at home communicating with her, not about our problems, but on our favourite common topic, cookery. It especially helps where I complimented her cooking was nice (and it's genuine compliment).
Alot of these problems arises due to lack of understanding between both parties. It's easy to expect others to understand our view, but it will definitely help if we could do otherwise. You don't have to conduct serious discussions with her on the exact issues that cause the arguments, but I would suggest the use of some common interest that the both of you have, to build this bridge of trust and communication.
Mothers love their kids dearly, that's why I believe your mom meant no harm. She was probably ventilating her stress on you, unintentionally, and I agree that it's not easy to take in false allegation. But if you try, to make the first move to improve the situation, she will eventually change.
Hope it helps. -
I notice that many people have these heart knots " xin jie "....
and many with parents...
May all be well and happy in the end =)